Jack Schitt the Dumpkin King
@FluffSuit
Followers
1,106
Following
1,125
Media
3,804
Statuses
40,107
I never mean what I say, even when I do. @fluffsuit .bsky.social
United States
Joined January 2018
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
#LISAxVictoriasSecret
• 955104 Tweets
#VSFashionShow
• 626037 Tweets
Messi
• 310203 Tweets
Argentina
• 270357 Tweets
Adriana Lima
• 198804 Tweets
Chile
• 193392 Tweets
Allred
• 152420 Tweets
Ted Cruz
• 149203 Tweets
gigi
• 131230 Tweets
bella hadid
• 128962 Tweets
Tyla
• 91337 Tweets
Bolivia
• 84993 Tweets
Yankees
• 83454 Tweets
Julián
• 58935 Tweets
kate moss
• 55290 Tweets
Paraguay
• 48187 Tweets
Cher
• 47724 Tweets
Uruguay
• 46525 Tweets
Candice
• 42014 Tweets
Tyra
• 32733 Tweets
Jazz
• 32274 Tweets
ميسي
• 20364 Tweets
#DWTS
• 19278 Tweets
Andreas
• 17097 Tweets
#RepBX
• 16443 Tweets
ALL RISE
• 16260 Tweets
Luiz Henrique
• 15147 Tweets
Nico Paz
• 14848 Tweets
Aaron Judge
• 14238 Tweets
#RoçaAFazenda
• 13893 Tweets
शरद पूर्णिमा
• 11514 Tweets
Raphinha
• 11256 Tweets
Rodrygo
• 10399 Tweets
Machis
• 10388 Tweets
Pinned Tweet
I love these humans. I want that love to last forever. Like I don’t even care when I cease to exist. I just want that love and joy they bring me to persist in the universe. The wonderful things about them and the delight I have with them to carry on through time and space….
3
8
66
This explains why chicken adobo makes me feel like a million bucks.
50
585
4K
@_dtammons
@MoreHandsThanU
@terrill
Just imagining a string of rich suburban assholes flying over my house all day and occasionally crashing.
8
53
3K
@how_do_i_pdf
I just posted this morning about here in phoenix. A toddler was trapped in the car when the battery failed. That’s literally a death trap.
17
41
3K
@how_do_i_pdf
You gotta play it cool. Just enough praise to the manager to keep this guy employed. But not so much they take notice and find out.
1
2
1K
Oh my god my wife said her Grampa had one of these and I thought it was just one of those childhood memories that gets jumbled!
I present to you the El Camino camper!
32
81
1K
Check out this cool rock I found when I was 12 by the rail road tracks
62
26
1K
@TonyBeast1957
Don’t know why I was so stupid to think the Dems would let him win. I should know better. I’m too old to let them trick me into being hopeful.
8
13
1K
@lasergiant1
I really like listening to people talk about these games. Playing them makes me feel like I’m dying.
5
1
906
I HAVE BEEN VINDICATED!!!!
I knew I was going to need this cord 8 years ago when I put it in this box of cords.
74
36
916
Guys. What the fuck is this? It sounds like a bee when it flies
81
18
697
@waziot
Honestly this is grosser than when I went to see Star Trek IV in theaters and then dude behind us started jacking off.
14
6
626
@Underdawg47
@ASewcialist
This is it. It’s about employers thinking they have a right to control you even in your personal life. Like the app I have to install on my personal phone even though I have a work phone to monitor my driving. Or thinking we should answer emails and text on our days off.
3
22
581
Ok so I’ve watched a few more of these and I’m feeling less irritated. This is fucking genius. Guys are fucking dumb and if this is all you gotta do to take their money, right on. Get that cash.
41
31
513
@Kendal21Kendal
@ASewcialist
Having been up to management level. I can say there’s a lot of people doing fucking cocaine and making really bad decisions. But they’re worried about the guy pulling orders smoking weed on his day off.
3
20
493
@rat_liker
Man. People think alcohol cooks off when you use wine or beer in a recipe. But depending on what you’re making half or more will still be in the food. Way more than non alcoholic beer has.
2
1
462
@elise_flowers
@QasimRashid
They get mad at him for pointing out the truth. Not mad at the truth. Which is why everything he said is still relevant today.
7
31
412
Seems like you’d want to cut way less off.
7
8
405
@JEllulz
@thran_legacy
You really expect me to accept this logical explanation? It’s clearly something sinister involving the Biden administration
2
7
382
@MuscleSkoals
I just eat spoonfuls of that stuff. I can’t read Korean. I don’t know what it’s for. I just eat it.
3
0
266
So I can just eat pickles and hot and sour soup. Salt and vinegar chips. I grill portobello mushrooms with balsamic vinegar. Chicken adobo. Put hot sauce on everything. Like who needs therapy. I’m already engaging in self care with my vinegar habit.
2
9
260
@MisterApophenia
@BrettThousand
This really is such an iconic character. There have been so many other movies and books that have played on this idea of an American/cowboy in Europe.
1
1
229
@ohshidt
If this ever happened to me I hope I’d be cool enough to calmly step out of the dozer, brush some dust off my shoulders and say My work here is complete, before strolling over to the time clock and punching out.
1
1
206
@ohshidt
I’m having trouble believing this. He didn’t hear the magazine being put back in? He didn’t hear the slide return? Just all of a sudden a gun goes off? Nope. That dude just left the gun on the counter and the kid picked it up and shot it because there was already a round in.
3
0
180
@punishedmidhead
@sleekcomplice
They want to make them rentals. Steady profits and no one gets to own a house.
1
0
172
@dcross0616
@HailEternal
As a parent I can say they nailed it. It’s not rational. It’s not morally correct. It’s not justified. It’s understandable. As a parent it’s understandable.
1
0
179
@Whateve62995979
@EclecticHams
This is not a sentence I expected to read when I first logged into the internet superhighway in 1993
2
0
162
Ok I found it. Is this a thing? I made this on my phone.
9
16
157
@JarJarFan69
@KucingJava
@KamalaHarris
So tired of these people Nude. Gave ‘em 58 seats in the senate under Obama and nothing. Yeah I’m going to vote harder now. It’ll totally work now.
1
0
165
@EclecticHams
This would be a huge fucking mess on my floor and walls in about 2 seconds after this dude got a hold of it.
2
1
166
This guy right here stole my croissant. That was my breakfast.
27
5
160
Trying to trip my son out.
What are some really trippy music videos?
190
5
150
I had a sort of spiritual experience when I found this. I’d never seen a rock this color or texture. There were no rocks anywhere that looked like it. I’ve kept it for almost 40 years.
Turns out it’s just a potato.
3
0
148
@ohshidt
Is that a crutch next to his chair? Like he’s already injured and then this busts his ass to bits. You just gotta accept God is mad at you.
0
0
144
My son just asked me if they’re buttholes that surf or do they surf buttholes. Proud poppa moment.
13
6
133
@CeruleanGates
Ahh the good ol days when all we had to worry about was a potential nuclear war with Russia that looked increasingly less likely. Seemed like things were heading in the right direction.
2
1
134
@hungu1995
So how long before we start getting tik toks of these guys complaining of gout like symptoms but not believing it’s gout?
0
1
133
Alright. My work here is complete. Follow me for more diy projects and expert advice.
17
9
132
@ServesTheBeam19
@imnotyourhoe
@Sharronica
At a minimum this guy doesn’t know what personal space is. But that’s being generous. Weird to just come out and admit it.
0
1
131
Here’s a political take. Feel free to correct me.
Liberals today are just Reagan republicans who don’t think gay people are gross.
15
10
122
Honestly didn’t really care before but now I would like to see Tyson fuck this guy up. Someone tell me this dude is like a secret n*zi or something so I can feel better watching him get clobbered
Never thought I’d be caught up with this but, a social media influencer trying to fight Mike Tyson…Mike doesn’t have an “off” button. Dude bites off ears.
Team Mike, fuck this clown up.
6
3
16
30
3
129
Hey. I found this growing behind the shed. I’m going to eat it. How should I prepare it.
21
1
126
Had a fire night and buddy was freezing so we had to put a sweater on him.
7
8
113
Cold pizza and hot sauce for breakfast? Can he do that?
21
1
111
Looks like they’re going to fuck up the entire east coast on the way out guys.
7
10
113
@TheWapplehouse
Man this looks like fun. But it took my exactly .1 seconds to imagine 3 different ways to be severely injured or killed.
3
0
116
@ovo_sharlayne
@ASewcialist
I’ll say it again. If it was about safety they’d have breathalyzers on every truck to prevent drunk driving. The tests for weed really only tell you the person smoked it sometime in the last few weeks. Doesn’t do any good.
0
5
111
There was this very special moment in time where you could write a hit song about peaches.
I’m glad I was able to witness it.
6
12
115
Much like the gas station hotdog, the gas station burrito never hurt anyone
22
6
112
@RespectableLaw
@doorhash
I usually don’t feel happy even when bad people die but when I was 10 I had to listen to people tell me my dad died of aids as a punishment from God. So yeah it’s normal to hope this guy was in pain when he died.
0
0
102
@dklmarxist
The truth is the guy was fighting an 82 year old and lost. The cops were so embarrassed for him they leaked the fake story of a male prostitute because it is less shameful.
How do you attack an 82 year old with a hammer and not kill him lol
197
609
19K
0
1
97
@TinySodaCans
@AOL420
@waziot
It was like the 3 rd week showing during a matinee. Like 10 people in the theater. I like to think he just liked whales and lived the moment.
2
0
104
@BisqueBoi
Bam! I was talking about old country music with my wife. Even the religious stuff is sweet and kind. Now it’s just alpha male “patriotic” pop rock.
3
5
108
Middle of nowhere. Cat died. Did you know there a passenger limit on tow trucks? Anyway. It’s 110 degrees in this desert.
10
0
102
@AOL420
@TinySodaCans
@waziot
My friend cock blocked him on it. Called him out. He left. Still one of my favorite Star Trek movies.
2
1
98
@JUNlPER
The only reason I’ve voted for democrats for years is because I’m terrified of what the other side will do.
1
6
90
This girl went to the vet. He said she’s fat. He said even her butthole is fat. Rude!!
So now she’s gotta go on light food.
20
1
99
@gracechurch64
@AntonioParis
NASA’s 50 years of history has cost us what we spend on the military in one year. The amount we’ve spent on Mars is a tiny portion of that. Go after military spending and tax breaks for billionaires and corporations if you want real money to solve our problems.
0
3
99
I don’t think this guy is even going to have a grown up face. He’s baby forever
4
2
98
Man… I started smoking again. I can quit whenever I want
4
7
95
Yeah I read and stay up to date on the latest advancements in science.
18
6
83
@The8BitIdiot
This is probably the best video for why crumple zones in modern cars actually make them safer. Show this to the boomers in your life.
Also. Can we all agree that right about 150mph it starts to get funny? The comedy zones seem to be <15 and >150 mph.
3
2
92
1
0
90
Hey. Triple digits. See how long that lasts.
9
0
88
@Scoobydouchebag
While I agree that Texas should be at the bottom, Korean should be at the top
8
0
86
@denise_stemen
All I’ve ever seen here are carpenter bees that are black. Regular honey bees. Africanized honey bees. Leaf cutter bees. Digger bees. Etc. first time I’ve seen an orange carpenter bee.
2
0
89
@AshIsAShortName
@calantir009
@Honkslime
@EnbossFoster
This kid grew up in a warm and snuggly home where he could grow up to believe you can have acab in your bio and suggest calling the cops. Those of us who exposed to domestic violence know different. This dad did the only thing he could.
1
0
77
Guys! I don’t know what is happening here. Del Taco has ramen noodles.
21
1
87
You guys ever have a job you were both good at and liked?
38
2
85
@sunraysunray
I don’t believe a word this guy is saying about being a “good” landlord. But even if he’s telling the truth, the tip he’s receiving is the tenant letting him know there’s a problem at HIS property so he can fix it before it gets more expensive.
1
0
86
Quick! Someone tell me what I’m doing wrong here
37
0
85
So I was kinda being facetious when I posted this. I had to pass an exam about wood destroying insects to get licensed. No one said shit about carpenter bee males being a different color. Seems like an oversight in the testing.
0
0
86