GadFly* 🔻
@FPL_Fly
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Gadfly: a person who stimulates or annoys other people especially by persistent criticism
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Joined October 2013
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Pinned Tweet
I mean seriously. Tell me André Onana’s last good game for club or country? I’ll wait.
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How old were you when you realised the Chicago Bulls logo upside down was a robot shagging a crab?
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@piersmorgan
1. He wasn’t “killed”; he died in an accident
2. The club could’ve approached the PL & asked for dispensation for this premeditated stunt - they didn’t
3. Who the fuck are you to take any kind of moral high ground given your track record over the years?
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***FIXTURE REARRANGEMENT ANNOUNCEMENT***
All of the postponed fixtures will now take place in an additional fortnight added to the end of the season.
This decision has been taken to give
@BenCrellin
an emotional breakdown after countless hours thinking he could outsmart us.
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Luckily nobody who takes FPL seriously has any Everton or Burnley players in their squad.
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Some FPL pearls of wisdom for each team. 🧵
• ARS - Odegaard quietly flying just above the radar at just under 15% TSB
• AVL - Avoid, Avoid, Avoid. Gerrard already on borrowed time
• BOU - Target them with players facing them, not by buying them!! Awful
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Entering the last hour at work for what has been the shittiest year personally in my life.
Cancer ✅
Life Changing Disability ✅
So, if anyone wonders why I spend an inordinate amount of time on here I’ll tell you why.
Escapism ✅
Thank you all for your love & support. 👊🏼
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Life is short. Make sure you spend as much time on the internet as possible arguing with strangers about Fantasy Football.
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State Funeral confirmed as a Public Holiday. Which means as expected it’ll be Mon 19 Sep.
So, is it crass to speak about Premier League fixtures that weekend? Not really.
Because I think from reading my TL there’s a lot people don’t seem to understand...
A thread. 🧵
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Two years on my
@OfficialFPL
bench and now I finally know what he looks like...😂😂😂
We've signed experienced goalkeeper David Button on a two-year contract from
@OfficialBHAFC
✍️
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Good morning to everyone except for the management and players of Leicester City who can’t fulfil a
@premierleague
fixture, but do have enough players for a jaunt to the darts just a few days ago.
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Son: Dad, why is my sister’s name Rose?
Me: Because your mum loves roses.
Son: What about me?
Me: It's a long story, Gameweek32AllanSaintMaximin...
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@OfficialFPL
What an achievement! I wonder if he took a hit this week? 🤔
Hang on a minute.
#JogOn
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Hey everyone, did you know Jordan Henderson says a booster jab is the best defence against COVID?
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157 Pts with 7 to play inc Triple Captain KDB. This Bench Boost is really paying off with 48 pts from them. So glad I set my team up like this with my Free Hit. This was absolutely the right week to play my second Wildcard.
- FPL Twitter
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Lingard’s miss was nothing more than the exuberance of youth.
Give him a few years to mature and he will be a proper baller.
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City fans haven’t been this upset since they were Chelsea fans a few years ago...
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The dickheads who captained Sterling and vice captained KDB are utter weapons.
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I think it’s important if you are putting yourself out there offering FPL insights then you are open and honest about your abilities.
I’ll start.
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Serious question. Can Rashford handle pressure? I have no solid evidence but it seems to me he goes missing regularly when it really matters.
“Rashy he trained all week but today he reported he doesn’t feel well” 😕
Erik ten Hag gives a squad update ahead of the weekend and says he speaks ‘every day’ with the Manchester United board of directors about future plans.
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Is 104pts with Vardy, Salah, Drogba, Harte, Michu and Pele (TC) left any good?
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At the risk of being all wanky and mysterious I’ve had some really shit news tonight and if there’s any of those thoughts and prayers lying around with you guys I wouldn’t mind borrowing them for a bit. Cheers.
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Here’s my news. Older followers will know that a few months after my brush with cancer a 2 years ago I sustained a life changing ankle and leg break that threatened to end my career.
This has hung over me for 2 years.
Yesterday my employer signed off on letting me carry on. 👍🏼
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Jeez. Manchester United fans on my timeline should Brighton up a bit...
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I mean seriously. Tell me David De Gea’s last good game for club or country? I’ll wait.
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Me finely honing my FPL Wildcard squad a few weeks ago.
Havertz, Mbeumo, Broja, Aubameyang, Antonio, Foden, Sa…
The result:
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CT Scan confirms no trace of cancer elsewhere in body 😃
Just a massive chest infection which I got a bollocking for not sorting out sooner.
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Long-time followers will remember I had testicular cancer back in 2017.
Been encountering some difficulties recently down there again and am currently sat in a private clinic awaiting a scan.
Wish me luck. Can’t afford to lose another one!
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Went to the travel agents today to book my next holiday.
While I was in there a Manchester City supporter came in and asked for ideas for his next holiday.
I said, “you can’t beat the Canaries this time of year...”
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Is Son currently the dirtiest player in the PL but we don’t see it because he plays with a smile on his face and seems like a likeable guy?
If not him, who?
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4 ever presents in my FPL squad this season.
• Foster
• TAA
• Salah
• Raphinha
You?
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In these troubled times, I’ve come to the conclusion that I value communication with other human beings.
Therefore I have decided to resurrect this account as there’s more of you here I can talk with.
Some of you will have been following my “alternate” account.
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Costa, Starbucks, KFC, Dominos etc - they will all follow suit.
And all because many cunts treated this weekend like an August Bank Holiday.
If your habits and routine haven’t changed because of COVID then you are very much the fucking problem here.
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April 1st. The only day of the year that people critically evaluate things they see on the internet before deciding whether it's true...
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More bad news for Spurs as it is strongly suspected that their fixture against Leicester is expected to go ahead as planned.
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A squad of FPL players you’re all sleeping on. Sit up and take notice. Stop being a sheep.
All under 5% owned currently.
A thread 💬
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Sorry guys, not FPL related. My boy had a nap this afternoon and has woken up in a much better mood.
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Name me a better attacking right back who has ever played football than Matt Doherty. I’ll wait.
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I activated my Wildcard on Sunday night.
But not for the same reasons you did.
We are not the same.
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I’m currently second in one of my FPL minileagues.
To a guy who is just outside the Top 10k.
A guy who has made ONE transfer all season.
A guy who played Lo Celso last GW.
And played his Bench Boost the previous week with Estupiñán & Maddison on it who were injured.
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Credit where it’s due. When Mourinho was sacked Man Utd were 6th.
Solksjær has led them on an unbeaten run and they are now 6th.
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Sad news. The bloke who presses the crowd cheering button at Anfield when Liverpool score has just been furloughed.
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World Health Organization: The coronavirus kills 3% of people that become infected
Me: That won’t be me
—————
Fantasy Premier League: There is a 0.000013% chance of winning the whole thing 🏆
Me: Well, you never know...
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I paid £10.5m for Fernandes.
If I sell him I get £11m.
If I want to buy him back for GW30 he’d cost me £11.6m (although I reckon he may get a couple of price drops between now and then).
He’s also owned by an insane amount of managers.
No, he’s going nowhere.
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Of course none of this is confirmed.
But I feel confident when I say there is a 0% chance of Premier League fixtures - or indeed ANY major sporting events - taking place next weekend.
Thread ends.
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@OfficialFPL
Irish strikers do well in the PL.
Robbie Keane, Niall Quinn, Shane Long.
I think Tim O’Werner will add his name to that list.
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📂 Documents
└📁 Premier League
└📁 Teams
└📁 Liverpool
└📁 Titles
└⚠️ Folder is empty
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Sex is good, but have you ever had two middle age men come up to you at a non league FA Cup preliminary game and say, “ Hey, are you FPL Fly”?
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Patricio is the best goalkeeper in the
@premierleague
.
Don’t bother to @ me if you have a different opinion.
You’ll just be embarrassing yourself. 🐺
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Peter Crouch playing golf is the funniest thing you’ll see today.
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Hang on. So Reece James hasn’t started a PL game since going off injured Vs Brighton on 29 Dec?
And now you’re all thinking he’ll play 3 games in 8 days?
Ok…
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Anyone interested in a free ride in a Helicopter to watch Man Utd v Leeds in an Executive Box? It’s a flight for 4 people. I’m looking for 2 more.
If interested please message me!
Preferably someone with a Helicopter & an Executive Box at Old Trafford otherwise we can’t go...
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Lost 1st place in my work League to a guy who Triple Captained Abraham.
He also played Traore over Rashford.
How do you account for that kind of fuckwittery?
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Dear GW13 Wildcarders. Welcome to having the same starting XI most of us have had since GW9.
Glad you could join us.
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Lundstram’s brace shouldn’t affect your rank as he is 100% owned.
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The term "Legend" is often thrown about in sport. But I think this guy meets the criteria, don't you?
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Date night with Mrs Fly tonight.
We’ve had 3 (three) nights out without kids since Fly Jr was born (7 years ago).
This will be the 4th. The joys of having literally no family support.
If you have people around you to help, please don’t ever take them for granted.
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All this talk of James Rodriguez’s testicle makes me miss my own.
I’d like to remind you all about how vital it is to check yourself before you wreck yourself.
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