FPL Dabby
@FPL_Dabby
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FPL Enthusiast, Fantasy Football Enthusiast, Man Utd Enthusiast. 📰 I write things down sometimes and @AttackingFooty put it on the internet.
Manchester, England
Joined August 2017
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@FPLCorrigan
BEAUTIFUL!
in 2018 I was hoping my son would be born so I could have the world cup off, he was born 2 days before the semis and England got knocked out
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Doc: Afternoon Adama, if you could just roll your slee-
Traore: Take my shirt off?
Doc: No, you dont need to take it off you can jus-
Traore: "I'm gonna take it off"
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Waiting for the
@BenCrellin
confession time video, where he tells us all he just made up DGW26 to trick his wife
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The Gabriel leak scenario is frustrating
It's like last season when I basically wasted my benchboost because I missed leaks whilst on a flight
It's like you get punished for having a life and not commiting every second to FPL. Doesnt feel fair
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The fact Salah is 93 points off the 200 points club in FPL after 9 games is quite frankly insane
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@UtdPlug
I think the right thing to do would be to retrospectively apply points deductions specifically to the 11/12, 17/18 and 20/21 seasons aswell as added punishment. That's just 3 totally random seasons I chose
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People who want Salah to come back for FPL have sex missionary with the lights off
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Oliver has got his new kit on ready to support the
@England
lads! Lets go
@MarcusRashford
! IT'S COMING HOME!
#threelions
#ENGSCO
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@MarcusRashford
@England
This is my man, Oliver. Just turned 3. Youre his idol, youre all he ever talks about with football. Every game is just "where Rashy, where Rashy"
You think he feels you let him down? Not a chance. As a parent, I cant think of a single person I'd be prouder to be his hero
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This was actually the talent leaving his body space-jam style from Paul Pogba's witch-doctor curse
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Been Evacuated.
The house that exploded is completely gone. We've gone my mums. Myself, Laura and Oliver are all safe and well.
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@galactico_mufc
@juanmata8
@LukeShaw23
I feel like Mata is just so lovely he gets along with everyone's parents so he just texts them
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@ChrismanSpurs
@sportbible
You mean unlike Gueye? Happy to promote gambling and alcohol but not equality?
Everyone in the comments defending him because of his religion? Well here he is wearing the sponsors of an alcoholic drink company and a betting site
Just feels like homophobia to me 🤷♂️
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@fesshole
I bet when he first bought the chastity cage thing, he thought to himself, wow imagine how embarrassing it would be to die in this thing, god I hope that doesnt happen
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Just been done shoplifting from Tesco
Police turned up and I said to the officer, I know it's bad but racism is worse. Which he agreed so he let me off
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This is the correct answer I think you'll find
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Weird. Cause he was guaranteed 30+ goals 2 days ago 🤔
We may not have signed a striker but we just conned our biggest rival into signing a 36 year old for €20m + add ons and paying him €30m net a year.
Another massive win for my club. Been there before.
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DONE DEAL: Sources are telling me that paperwork in place and formal notices have been submitted today and Fiancée will move ➡ Wife in September this year. Been in the works for over 18 months with delays related to Covid.
Here we go 🤝 Confirmed
[Chorizo Salamino]
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@Lord_Sugar
@SpursOfficial
Bet everyone in the nursing home was besides themselves when you told that one
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@SkySportsPL
23 is a strange number? It's almost like it was 24 but they removed one 🤔 I wonder who it could have been
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@FPL__Raptor
It was me. Thank you for taking the time to chat to me and compliment me on the girth of my penis in the changing rooms
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🚨 ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨
I am very excited to bring you the first annual FANTASY FYRE FESTIVAL
This incredible inaugural event will not only be fantastic but it also more affordable than other meet-ups out there! TICKETS ON SALE SOON
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@JonnyGabriel
Harchester United were never really the same again after club legend Karl Fletch got murdered with a coat hanger
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@TheSaItIsHere
I've looked at 3.9 billion alternative realities
In none of them United are "title challengers"
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@bbc5live
@5liveSport
"And that's when the horse said to me: it's the bloody woke lefties fault this. That incredibly dangerous race you forced me to compete in or that shotgun you're holding are completely & totally unrelated to my untimely demise. Your conscience is clear"
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Explaining to my Mrs the implications of Villa v Newcastle being postponed for my imaginary football team
#FPL
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Ryan Giggs & David Beckham once tried to pull fast one on Peter Schmeichel by both taking a free kick simultaneously
What do you think
@OfficialFPL
would do in this situation if it went in? 🤔
#FPL
#MUFC
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@JayMotty
First, the Daily Mail break the news that he eats food, then they break the news he has hair and now we're told he is the sort of person with an anus?
How can the club expect us to back this man? Dsigraceful
#tenHagOUT
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Ranieri begins his first training session for the club by saying his farewells to the players
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@FPL__Raptor
I think its a bid to help keep people engaged for longer. If you forget about your team for a few weeks its not like season over, you can come back and make big changes. It's not essentially game over
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Rearranging my team so that the two FPL differential GOATs can be next to each other 😍
They friends 🐐❤🐐
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As footballing christmas presents go 🤯
Holy shit. This feels like the equivalent of a girl getting an engagement ring or something. Jesus Christ
#MUFC
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@StanCollymore
We already dump our sewage in the ocean, lets not start dumping it in other countries as well
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The pyramid as special powers
England now have three players on the pitch - Mainoo, Foden and Palmer - who grew up within three miles of each other around Stockport.
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@OfficialFPL
Yes. Rashford is 100% on penalty duty now. No more points from penalties, I recommend everyone who owns him sells him and gets Rashford at a lower price.
It's basically pointless owning Fernandes now. Get rid
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I'm pretty sure KDB is going to be rested this week. Surprised if he's even on the bench*
*This assumption is based on nothing other than the fact I don't have him and I'm scared. I am saying this just to make myself feel better, in reality I don't have a clue.
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Adding one to the list of "things I didn't expect to say in this season of FPL"
I'm considering selling Salah for Jesse Lingard
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@Andy__Bullock
@PatBuckingham
@GaryLineker
Gary really has embarrassed himself here. Imagine driving an electric vehicle without first ensuring the nations electricity is entirely produced with renewables. What a knob 😂
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If I captain a £5.5m mid and it pays off. You all have to go on podcasts and hail me as a genius. Right?
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As far as Sunday League games go, Brereton Lion vs Dormans in Rugeley was quite astonishing
[Stolen off a mate on facebook]
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@fesshole
I totally agree with this energy
I refuse to acknowledge anything my other half shouts through the house or across the garden ect. My 4yo Son said "Do her legs not work or something" the other day, something he clearly got from me muttering under my breath
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@StanCollymore
Stan Collymore: "I watched Finding Nemo so I can't really criticise people for genocide, can I?"
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@MarcusRashford
@England
Dont you dare think you let anyone down. Were all so proud of you and everything you've done. It's just a bump in the road
Marcus Rashford, The pride of Manchester
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Thank you everyone for your kind words, really touched
We're just glad to be safe and sound. Crossing our fingers to hopefully hear the house was empty.
I'll remember that noise for the rest of my life. It was undescribable.
Sleep tight everyone. Peace ✌
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@AverageDan__
That is the problem making this joke in this community. Sex at all is considered a big step up
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I dont care what anyone says Martin Brundle's gridwalk is one of the highlights of F1. It'd be like taking freekicks away from football
The choatic energy is just what I live for. He went from chatting to Tom Cruise to some random bloke out on a 50th do 😂
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@OddsOnFPL
You just know that the minute they told him the Lego online store got an order for a Millennium Falcon
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Long weekend away with Mrs...away from the child. Gonna smash out so many FPL podcasts and drink so much beer
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@UtdFaithfuls
Are you suggesting that Mctominay is a Haaland in waiting, because I can fully back that
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I spent my lunch doing this and I don't even know why. I think part of my subconcious thinks I can actually fix United
The fuck am I doing
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𝑀𝑎𝑛 𝑈𝑡𝑑 𝑃𝑒𝑛𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑖𝑒𝑠 𝑇ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑑
A year ago
#FPL
twitter was rife with "the number of pens united get is unsustainable". I argued not only is it sustainable, but explainable.
So I've taken a look. Gonna be a
@OfficialFPL
𝑒𝑥𝑝𝑒𝑟𝑡 after this, It's interesting
The number of penalties Man Utd get is no accident. Other than the one against Villa, there isnt one I can think of that wasnt the right decision.
United have 3 quick tricky forwards, that first thought is to get in the box. Challenges come in late, they get tripped
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@fesshole
I love that the comments are all like "ThAtS AgAiNsT ThE LaW" Like half the shit on an 'anonymous confession' page aren't already illegal
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Personally, if I was Sancho, I'd be turning up to training half an hour early, going straight to Ten Hags office and saying start me in Antony's place and I promise categorically, I will not let you down
Then work my arse off all week in training, be the first one in & last out
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