Ku
@EstherKuKu
Followers
80K
Following
21K
Media
1K
Statuses
25K
Joined April 2009
I think Joey Diaz was kidding when he said that. When I opened for Uncle Joey, he paid me extra & never asked me to suck his dick. He even came on my podcast that we recorded in a hotel room. He is so very nice.
155
406
6K
Just cuz your areola don’t got wifi don’t mean ours was disconnected.
17
267
1K
He gave me advice. He said that once you get to the 20 year mark, you can demand head in exchange for stagetime. (Example of a joke).
12
23
1K
And his followers are THE nicest people. Your followers reflect who you are. They all say thank you after shows, shake hands, nothing inappropriate. He is a genuinely caring guy.
6
27
974
I am so excited to be hosting the @avnawards next year in Vegas! Who’s your favorite porn star?
117
40
795
Dear marijuana industry,.Hard candy edibles taste like tree bark. Stick w chocolate. Something we can eat fast. Faster is better. Thanks dude.
44
74
656
Whatever boyfriend I have at any given time is a rebound of a rebound of a rebound of a rebound of a rebound.
20
288
694
Dan Nainan bought my name as my website. That was after we had taken a class at UCB together. Yes And he wanted to charge me for it.
36
94
599
34
32
603
The opposite of an orange president is a yellow one! . I write slogans for @AndrewYang now.
49
79
584
Dear Asian men who wish to silence me, .Asian women are not your property. You can no longer tell us who to date or what kind of jokes to tell. Nice try though. Sincerely, .You Mad Bro?.
118
61
520
I am addicted to shopping online. Can somebody Please close the internet?.
38
594
534
Harvard charging full tuition for Zoom classes is like an escort charging full price for a FaceTime. GTFOH.
19
80
510
I stopped using tampons since they're not biodegradable and only use menstrual cups now. Why? Cuz I got a green thumb and red fingers.
7
87
482
The fact that I'm constantly hungry explains why I accept most first date offers. #dontjudgeme.
54
471
459
“Yeah so @AndrewYang says he’ll give you $1k a month when he wins. Can we count on your vote?”
36
82
444
People can't tell the difference between my mascara face and my O face.
12
137
442
The guys who want to reopen now are the same guys who want to bang their wives who just gave birth.
20
44
416
If I forget to bring my phone to the bathroom w me, I get really mad at myself. Just me?.
30
555
390
The worst thing about getting my butthole licked is that he can’t see me rolling my eyes.
58
13
366
Ten years ago I was like Can I suck your dick? Now I’m like suck MY dick. #10YearChallenge
46
18
368
RIP Brody Stevens. Brody always stole the scene and the show. When he heard me laughing in the back of the room, he would shout me out. He didn’t have to do that but he always acknowledged others in that special way. So sorry to see you go.
16
28
364
Fu, gonna miss our Fuuuu and Kuuuu back and forth every time I saw you. Thanks for the laughs and fun nights. Rest in Peace Fuquan Johnson. Praying that Kate Quigley makes a full recovery.
11
29
369
There’s just so much I wanna do in life, but all I keep doing is masturbating.
47
32
338
If gas prices go up one more dollar, guess who’s joining Only Fans?.
82
20
351
If your date can't put his phone away, it is okay to dunk it in the vase/candle/fishtank.
36
452
333
I have an appointment with myself to masturbate from seven to eight. Please respect my privacy at this time.
55
18
327
I’m sending out Sorry I never slept with you Christmas cards. Who wants one?.
107
14
324
I’m looking to meet a guy who sucks the joy out of my life and takes me away from my friends. Fingers crossed!.
71
21
314
I cunt not wait!.
47
23
275
I have no self control. I can't just eat one cookie. I end up eating the whole girl scout.
13
272
300
Trump to meet with Kim Jong Un at a location yet to be determined. May I suggest Supercuts?.
19
60
270
When you’re high, you play w yourself. When you’re drunk, you want others to play w you. What I’m trying to say is I’m drunk.
43
16
269
We're supposed to get six inches today. I already got mine last night. Ay-Yoo.
12
94
265
If you think this virus is bad, wait til you hear about what China did to all their baby girls.
13
26
255
If Georgia bans abortions, the film industry will have to pull out of Georgia. And come somewhere else.
21
22
244
Next person who posts a pic of their baby on Facebook, I'm posting a pic of my cute birth control pills.
8
117
249
Thank you @bocablackbox !.
12
14
255
I'm reading People magazine so the cute guy sitting next to me knows I speak English.
8
45
254
Times sure have changed. When I was twenty-three and I regret blowing a guy, I spit it out on his face. Bam. We’re even.
32
20
239
Due to Cosby’s health, they are letting him go home. You know what’s not good for your health? Getting raped.
20
53
237
