Registrar of Broken Promises&Minister of Sunshine
@EricNgeno
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Official account of the Office of the Registrar of Broken Promises and the Cabinet Secretary for Sunshine, Republic of Kenya
Kenya
Joined March 2008
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Pinned Tweet
NJONJO IS DEAD
Because he was the son of a senior colonial official, Charles Njonjo never really experienced colonialism and was at best indifferent to the independence struggle
Afterwards, he was vehemently opposed to Africanisation, loudly announcing that certain /1
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Jeremiah Kioni was advised 12 months ago.
When Rigathi Gachagua has the mic, TRUTH happens.
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Who told you he was thinking?
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IF Odinga was winning, or had the slightest chance of winning
1. Media tallying would be ongoing or complete
2. There'd be no attempts to stop Chebukati
3. There'd be no rigging allegations
4. Social media activity would be higher, not lower
There's ample proof they know.
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PHOTOSHOP YA SAUTI HUITWAJE?
I know your handwriting, Prof Mwitu. I know nothing is sacred to you but surely. Desist at once!
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Jacaranda: how it started vs how it went
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Raila na mpira............
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DEEP STATE'S DESPERATELY DELUSIONAL STRATEGY DECONSTRUCTED
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You're very kind, Senior
I'm honoured
Africans have a notorious record of not recognizing brilliance and organic intellectualism. Today, I serenade Africa’s most outstanding SPEECH WRITER and all round WORDSMITH,
@EricNgeno
, whose WORDS have INTOXICATED the world in recent times. Congratulations, Big Boy!
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Githongo is officially a conman
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Mobilising crowds into the CBD to "celebrate" whilst vigorously raising fantastical rigging claims has got to be the highest order dissonance register
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NATEMBEYA ATEMBEA
Trans Nzoia:
Senate: UDA
Governor: UDA
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The independent candidates who visited Kenyatta at Nakuru State House are SHOOK.
Very few, if any, have the heart to continue campaigning. Many are pleading with Kenyans to pray, and include Kenyatta in their intercessions.
The bilious rage they witnessed was traumatising.
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In 1989, Kennedy Kihara, then a DO in Nairobi (Kamukunji or the suchlike) was charged with stealing RELIEF FOOD.
Under Uhuru Kenyatta, he is the eminence grise behind Joseph Kinyua, dispensing National Honours and expediting reckless illegalities under the aegis of NSAC.
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Junet Mohamed is Makau Mutua's lost twin.
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As in 2013 and 2017, Makau Mutua's crystal ball continues its heartbreaking run of consistently disappointing prognoses.
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Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua
Amen
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BEWARE WHAT YOU ASK FOR
How many times did Aziminions hoot "Give Rigathi the Mic!"
Mtoto akililia Wembe, mpe!
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OUTING MAKAU MUTUA
By trolling
@MigunaMiguna
yesterday,
@makaumutua
came out of the closet as a small-minded, accent-flaunting, despot-worshipping clown who celebrates the persecution of his master's critics while huffing about
#HumanRights
in foreign lecture halls
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The only SURPRISE Raila Odinga can pull in this election is to CONCEDE.
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THE AYES HAVE IT
Rigathi Gachagua having moved the motion: FREEDOM IS COMING!
The Honourable Speaker, J B Muturi therefore puts the question: will as many as are in favour of the motion LIKE and RETWEET this tweet. And will as many as are of the contrary opinion RETWEET it
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The ANTICORRUPTION platform want Kenyatta to STEAL the election for them.
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Ladies and Gentlemen,
The Official Opposition
Viva Democracy!
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Also,
@MigunaMiguna
is back. Absolutely back. Very back. Quite emphatically back. In fact, thoroughly back. Totally, irrevocably back home.
Viva!
Freedom is here.
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A man who sent hundreds to be slaughtered extrajudicially and dumped in River Yala is giving lectures on criminal procedure and the Rights of An Arrested Person.
Open up the property and show the world there's nothing to hide. What is one person doing with 28 firearms?
Former president Uhuru Kenyatta: I have a situation where my son's home is being raided. If it's me you want, come for me.
Why intimidate a 90-year-old woman or children? On my association with Raila, am I not supposed to talk to my friends?
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BOTTOM-UP JURISPRUDENCE
It is now official. The Constitutional Court declares BBI to be UKUMBAFU. It is nothing but articles of ARROGANCE, IGNORANCE and NONSENSE.
The constitution is not an old newspaper. Bloody bure!
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Traumatised Royal Media staff are reliving the stunning encounter with their Chairman, S.K. Macharia scooting around the studios in his pjamas, giving commands to air his statement. All they can say at this point is that he resembled a wild-eyed, stranded urchin.
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NO RAILA...
Odinga was deceived by a Deep State that was neither deep nor state,and a campaign ran on delusions,figments,vibes and every other nonsense except fact.
You can't LOSE election FIVE(5) times and lament about rigging every damn time. RIGGING is escapist and face-saving
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There is irrefutable documentary proof that Azimio have tallied 98.2% of the provisional result and arrived at 50.10% for William Ruto
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ODM's tallies exceed the votes cast. I hear they're cooking 2017 figures 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Wapi mtu ya mazematic asaidie elders
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Isaac Aluochier's is the most compelling performance: outraged, articulate, authoritative, astute.
He has run Null and Void out of town.
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@MutahiNgunyi
.If you replace GRANDMOTHER with CONSULTANT, you describe yourself so well there's little left to add. Well done!
@MarthaKarua
@OleItumbi
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UNCONSTITUTIONAL OPTICS
I'm not opposed to comity, amity, peace & love in government.
We bow before court to signify submission to the authority of the court & the rule of law.
The head of the Judiciary bowing to the head of the Executive sends unsettling KANU era signals.
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Only one Commissioner, chairman Wafula Chebukati is the Returning Officer of the Presidential election.
These other ones addressing the media are Azimio agents
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FIRST PERSON, SINGULAR
This is Kenyatta's PROCLAMATION of full ACCOUNTABILITY
"I am IN CHARGE of this government and I AM IN CONTROL of where we are going
I KNOW where I am and I am VERY CLEAR about where I am going"
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FOR the DYNASTIES, your father's NAME is your DEGREE.
For the HUSTLERS, your degree is FAKE if the DYNASTIES don't like you.
Raila ODINGA therefore has a DEGREE conferred to him at BIRTH
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How many times did Assiminions assert that most boastful of challenges: "YOU CAN TAKE IT TO THE BANK?"
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Kenyatta seems traumatised by the notion of RETIREMENT. Should we rename it PRIVATE & PERSONAL DISCRETIONARY FUTURE ENDEAVOURS?
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Appreciation tweet to
@makaumutua
@MutahiNgunyi
for ably leading Azimio in brilliant wall-to-wall coverage of the Kenya Kwanza campaign.
@OleItumbi
and his team have been fantastically complemented by battalions of volunteer bloggers. We don't take this solidarity for granted.
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When Jomo Kenyatta travelled to Britain in 1931, he didn't return for 16 years
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THE AZIMIO STATE OF MIND:
PROPOSITION 1: Justice is whatever Raila Odinga wants, even if it is violence,corruption,theft or other form of impunity.
PROPOSITION 2: Corruption or impunity is whatever Raila Odinga does not want, even if it is justice, transparency or accountability
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Azimio are not conducting themselves in a hopeful, let alone victorious manner. Winners do not trash the sport, match and referee.
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Azimio's chief agent has rejected Form 34C and demanded that Opinion Polls be used to declare the winner.
After addressing the media, he returned to INCOMMUNICADO, which is Azimio's name for the Bomas of Kenya.
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Azimio finally talking about private property.
However, "people" seems to refer exclusively to dynastic oligarchs, while by "private property" Azimio means huge estates.
Below are people too. Their belongings are also private property.
Usually, Odinga calls them TAKATAKA
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Nelson Havi's enemies are DEEPLY EMBEDDED in the state.
Arguably, the looting of LSK is a state project. Banks are withholding disclosures on ridiculous pretext.
The Society must reject government-driven sabotage. Advocates are not on government payroll. We are not DOs.
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Raila Odinga's Think Tank is afflicted by paralysing dyscalculia; you cannot STRATEGISE if you cannot CALCULATE.
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I turned 45 today. Accordingly, I recently received instruments of investiture as an Associate Junior Elder from
@SpeakerJBMuturi
, in the presence of learned counsel
@karorikipchumba
&
@OleItumbi
.
Henceforth, I shall dispense words of wisdom seasoned in proverbs once in a while
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Azimio are escalating the situation in Bomas. It's deliberate and it's strategic.
They want to turn Bomas into riotous assembly. The police will "disperse" them and in the process halt everything.
Uhuru Kenyatta is aware and in charge.
But it's not 2007.
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What about Northlands?
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The Mandonga Effect
I don't remember a Kenyan Boxing match with such attendance and energy.
Perhaps in the Robert Napunyi Wangila era
Supreme Hype Master
Don King has nothing on this guy
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Msilipe Rent amesema msilipe Hustler Fund.
No Raila, No Peace
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Dear media
ON JANET MBUGUA
If you try hard enough, EVERYONE can be identified or described in terms of Janet Mbugua
All Kenyans are Janet Mbugua's former audience(s)
Uhuru Kenyatta is Janet Mbugua's president
@SakajaJohnson
is Janet Mbugua's Senator, etc, etc.
BEHAVE!
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Tell George Aladwa, Junet Mohamed, Dennis Waweru, Hassan Joho, Maina Kamanda, Wycliffe Oparanya, Joshua Kuttuny that we KNOW EVERYTHING and that nevertheless, everybody wants PEACE.
Tell them Fred Gumo politics has been RETIRED.
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Dennis Itumbi and HNIB broke this story months ago. He was called names as usual.
Compelling STARVING voters to choose him as a condition for receiving free public relief food provision is SATANIC
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President William Samoei Ruto
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Uhuru Kenyatta has gone all out to acquire Kalonzo Musyoka. The terms of the acquisition are absolutely without precedent outside European top-flight football. Men had to travel to Switzerland to better transact.Kenyatta is paying for Odinga's refusal to say "sorry" or "please"
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When Bodies of Kenyans went floating down River Yala, all Raila Odinga said was: Nobody Can Stop Reggae.
Odinga condoned, tolerated, provided moral encouragement and substantial political support for extrajudicial killings on an industrial scale, in exchange for campaign support
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ODM are preparing to REJECT the result.
RIGGING
ALGORITHM
BACK OFFICE
Assiminions: manage your expectations accordingly.
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Insecure men make jealous presidents. That doesn't make the presidency institutionally jealous.
Dear Riggy G. First LAW of POWER: Never OUTSHINE your MASTER. You did this on Inauguration Day. And today you FLEW in a military PLANE to Kisumu wearing SHADES. Country LOVED it. But remember this from the Arap Moi COOKBOOK of POLITICS: The Presidency is a JEALOUS institution.
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The Sponsor of the Cost of Living protests is just an organised crime mastermind
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THIS IS THE TWILIGHT ZONE
My dear old boss, Hon. Uhuru Kenyatta, purports to exercise powers that DO NOT EXIST and which, therefore, he cannot possibly have.
The CJ has been enlisted in the AG's cartel of impropriety & we're officially in a horrifying constitutional dystopia.
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Welcome home!
1687 days after despot Uhuru Kenyatta, conman
@RailaOdinga
, Fred Matiang'i,
@Karanjakibicho
and
@GKihalangwa
CONSPIRED to illegally SEIZE and DESTROYE my Kenyan Passport, President
@WilliamsRuto
has had a new one DELIVERED to me. Waiting for the LIFTING of RED ALERTS.
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FUNDAMENTALLY UNTRUE
It's a fraudulent LAUNDROMAT NARRATIVE to WHITEWASH Odinga's vicious ambition,condonement of violence, serial capitulations to his adversaries, reflexive treachery, towering greed, and to ERASE the genuinely selfless patriotic contributions of worthier others
Some of these freedoms you’re enjoying are courtesy of
@RailaOdinga
. Don’t write him off yet.
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THE 5TH DEFEAT
Raila Odinga must concede defeat. It's ridiculous to insist he's been played for the 5th time. That's not the 5th we meant.
Orengo, Mohamed, Owino, Arati, Nyong'o, Wanga are all celebrating victories once again.
Odinga is set up for premium tears, as always.
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1. SGR was notified of INTELLIGENCE of planned stonings but went ahead to use the route
2.The stone throwers were fighting over handouts
3.The train drivers must have said something to provoke the stoning
4.The SGR management stage-managed the stonings for publicity & sympathy
Police looking for those stoning SGR trains between Voi and Mombasa terminals.
Apparently this has been going on for sometime now.
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OSIPTAL means HOSPITAL,
Kichwa ya SAMAKI is MUTHAMAKI
@RailaOdinga
is quite clear here that he considers Uhuru Kenyatta, his family and his government yo be THIEVES.
Baba is designing a VIP wing for KAMITI
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They invented a 70% Western Kenya target to mock
@MusaliaMudavadi
and
@Wetangulam
. They retorted that 70% was too comfortable and went to work.
The Plan
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The only time Raila Odinga reliably keeps his eyes open for any length of time is in church, during prayer.
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There's a toxic backlash against Karua simmering under the surface of Azimio politics.They seem to blame her for the defeat, especially failure in Mt Kenya. Expect decisive retaliation, sooner or later. For now, she's being set up through assignments to drive hard line messaging
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HEADLINES WE DIDN'T SEE:
1. Angry Raila Batters Azimio Supporter's Head
2. Azimio Men in Fisticuffs at Raila Rally
3. Raila Ally and Azimio Candidate Nabbed With Billions in Fake Currency
4. Desperate Raila Targets Madoadoa, Again
Biased Media
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In a surprise development, Kiambu governor James Nyoro stormed the tallying Centre at Mang'u High School in Juja and declared himself the winner.
When advised that his name was not on the ballot, he accused IEBC of not respecting the president and vowed to teach them a lesson.
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Cholmondeley. Remember Cholmondeley. He killed 2 people in cold blood.
Why are we pretending that Philip Murgor didn't enter a NOLLE PROSEQUI, totally denying a widow and orphans JUSTICE?
Does he only see JUSTICE in INHERITANCE cases?
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Uhuru Kenyatta receives news of the UNANIMOUS decision of the Supreme Court, flies over to Nairobi from Mombasa, and delivers a rambling soliloquy on COHERENCE, CORRESPONDENCE and CONSISTENCY.
As if he just got back from outer space
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RG: the Surprise Package.
00000mph!
Azimio just don't know what run them over. And he keeps the mic.
#PresidentialDebatesKe2022
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Citizen TV cover WSR live today for Linus Kaikai to have an opportunity to crow, "See? I'm not racist, I have a black friend!"
Oops. I meant the other thing. O well. Same difference.
Citizen TV cover Odinga live, unless ODM requests privacy to dye his hair.
Nyokonyoko
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Cue
@WehliyeMohamed
and
@makaumutua
breathlessly exclaiming:"Can't believe this is Nyeri. The mountain is turning! It won't even be close"
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REGGAE
MURATHE: DP has no duties;
@FredMatiangi
took them
.
@kaninikega
: DP neglecting his duties, I'll cut his budget
.
@AtwoliDza
: Hustlers are stupid
.
@RailaOdinga
: I'm a Hustler; we're all Hustlers
.
@DonaldBKipkorir
&
@makaumutua
: Hustlers are drug dealers, pimps, prostitutes
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Kenya's Mandela used to be the "darling of the West". Now he tells the international community to keep off.
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Dear Kikuyus were written from State House
Today I cleared my DESK at State House. And it was a JOY serving President Uhuru Kenyatta as his Technical Assistant. Now we must PREPARE for a Ruto Presidency UNTIL 2032. And then Gachagua UNTIL 2042. And then Kiprop UNTIL 2052...and so on and so FORTH.
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WSR attended THARAKA NITHI county Bottom-Up Economic Forum with
@HKindikii
and then went for the
@IEBCKenya
event.
@rigathi
attended Marsabit county Bottom-up Economic Forum,then went to Isiolo county Bottom-up Economic Forum
Odinga went to Windsor, then retired for the day.
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THE CAPTURE AND RELEASE METHOD
1. Meru senator Mithika Linturi arrested moments before BBI debate
2. Speaker Kenneth Lusaka suspends debate on BBI
3. Sen Linturi released.
Parliament simply must recover the institutional power it rented out to the Ministry of the Interior
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.
@ahmednasirlaw
of all the revolting things I witnessed today in the
#annnekananu
saga, NONE is more STUNNING than the idea of a JUDGE WA SQUAD- a chap who just happened to be ceremonially kitted out, bang on time to officiate at the shotgun installation.
@NelsonHavi
😳
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HALLELUJAH!
And it goes like this:
The Fourth, the Fifth,
A minor FALL and a major LIFT,
A baffled king composing hallelujah.
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Uhuru Kenyatta successfully kept Raila Odinga off the streets from March 2018 to August 2022.
If Odinga returns to the streets with his chaos agenda, it is clear that he, Uhuru Muigai Kenyatta, is desirous of anarchy, subversion, treason and bloodshed.
Na ashindwe
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professions were beyond the ability of Africans. He specifically mentioned Law, Medicine and Engineering as out of bounds. The obsession with Silverstein, Queen's Counsel and European Engineering is part of that toxic, bigoted legacy.
/2
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WASH WASH CS
Odinga used to receive reports from CSs at his Capitol office.
Mucheru (ICT) repeatedly assured the world he was working hard behind the scenes.
Matiang'i vowed to work JUU CHINI, USIKU NA MCHANA, LIWE LIWALO.
Munya's mouth wasn't closed for a second throughout.
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AZIMIO'S CAMPAIGN OF FALSEHOOD
The Raila Odinga social media ecosystem is propagating lies using falsified documents, and journalists are amplifying it.
Good people, let's document these conmen.
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Devastating Blow to Ruto as Githongo Recants, Tuju Exposed and Jubilee Auctioned
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