Noëlle
@ElleExistential
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Following
391
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9,293
paranormal researcher, pagliacci, writer, hot dog queen of the midwest, co-host and producer of the @quiteunusualpod 🔮🌈
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Joined June 2016
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is anyone else just like, really fucking burnt out on life? just exhausted in a way you’ve never been before?
honestly asking if this is just a me thing or a general vibe
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@ginadivittorio
I went to a meet and great with him back in the twilight days, one of the audience asked him how he styled his hair. He’s said, “I let 12 year old dogs lick my hair into this style. They have thicker saliva than younger dogs.” And I was instantly obsessed with him.
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@miskeencore
When I was born, my parents were charged for a circumcision and had to fight the hospital to have it taken off their bill.
Just to be clear- I’m female. I was not circumcised.
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@shaTIRED
i’m living paycheck to paycheck and global warming is ravaging the earth. it’s none of my business what aliens are doing. i don’t have time to check up on them.
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@RobertKStarr
@tashakaminsky
@clapifyoulikeme
The fire truly has a bright future and it would be a shame to snuff it out.
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@plume__
horse girl here: horse blankets are generally too big to wash in home washing machines. having a blanket (which is like a horse jacket) washed at a horse laundromat costs like $30, human laundromats are like $6.
it is gross to wash horse blankets in human laundromats though.
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I’m so sad that so many of you are relating to this. remember, you’re not alone in the way you feel. hugs and forehead kisses for you all.
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@whorsomecontent
there’s always a “lets save the human race” plot line… no, we’re in an apocalypse. its truly time for us to all die.
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@GoodReddit
AITA for getting mad that a paramedic gave my girlfriend mouth to mouth when she stopped breathing? My (25m) girl (23f) was unconscious, had no pulse and wasn’t breathing. But I still feel so mad that a paramedic gave her mouth to mouth and touched her chest to restart her heart?
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@seannameeshelle
@jt_butthead
@eatinginmycar
A 23m “dominating” a 16f that lives with him is extremely rapey.
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why is the oklahoma department of wildlife conservation so relatable?
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@GMPaiella
My partner will keep to a shopping list like no one I have ever seen. He actually gets anxiety if I write “fruit” or “cereal,” it must be exact. Even though we buy roughly the same things every time. Once he called me ~10 times on a shopping trip for clarification.
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@AliKolbert
They will call girls under 18 “underaged women” but I had an adult man call me, a 29 year old woman, “little girl” two days ago.
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@jzux
thought I had a cavity so I went to the dentist, only to find out my jaw was fractured. likely from grinding my teeth at night… I broke my own jaw in my sleep.
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@jzux
can we just go back to calling them what they are? pomegranate lemonade doesn’t ALWAYS have to be a mock tail. and it certainly shouldn’t be more than $4. please.
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@thisdiegolopez
I did this once when I was making a pie that required a whipped cream topping, but forgot to get whipping cream and the grocery store was closed but Starbucks wasn’t...
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@Joseph_Fasano_
openly weeping. we should all be so lucky to one day go to the room where we get to play scrabble forever with the peter of our own lives.
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@razorgxrl
the thing that annoys me the most is that he’s filling a ring donut. why fill a donut with a hole in it? That’s not going to have enough filling and it CERTAINLY isn’t going to distribute evenly.
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@kevinmessengier
@bustelo4babies
Are you going to give them $5k if their answer is what you want it to be?
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@JohnDiesattheEn
@knittaphd
When I was a teenager, I had my jaw broken and it had to be surgically reset. Insurance claimed this was “elective” and refused to pay the $150,000 hospital bill for my 10 hour surgery. The surgeon covered the cost. I’m forever grateful.
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Listening to
@RottenInDenmark
&
@Remember_Sarah
of
@yourewrongabout
series on Princess Diana and cannot stop thinking about this…
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@ricksredmachete
@hairytaints
it took weeks of my gf saying MUNA before I realized this was a band… nodding while alternating between “slay” and “mother” until she lets me go back to reading lord of the rings.
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@vtmomo4boys
@LizMaupin
You can tell a lot about a man by where he sources his post oral minutemaid lemonade.
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@kellhound
@Remember_Sarah
He gets up so early to make her breakfast and it always makes me cry
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@drewgmackie
@roxiqt
i was once on a date with a woman & referred to myself as “gay.” she was so offended by it that she lectured me for like 45 minutes. she said it was more inclusive to call myself “non hetero identifying” & honestly i feel like i should be able to call myself whatever i want? idk.
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@bill_collins
@Judey_moody
I bet it was really expensive. You pay more when the pattern is more complicated.
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@yedoye_
My dog’s vet thinks I’m in high school still, I just roll with it and tell her how my classes are when she asks. Pretty sure I’m actually older than her…
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a girl called me a sick freak and unmatched with me on a dating app after I told her I was reading Lessons in Birdwatching by
@benegotherit
.
thats how you knows it’s good.
- Likeable characters
- Redeemable villains
- Cosy horror
- Simplistic world building
All set to absolute zero!
Read my extraterrestrial nightmare debut -
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@msLAS
I’ve been an equestrian for 21 years and I have met some of the absolute worst people in this industry. The horse world is dominated by The Rich Whites. I’ve only ever known 2 black riders and maybe a handful of poc riders and just a few lower income people. It’s awful.
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@Cameron_W_Clark
at one point, we outsourced cocktail making to children. now that we’ve deemed that social unacceptable, the least a 5 year old can do is learn to pull mommy her morning ristretto.
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@saradwheeler
“if I could access all those layers of silt embalming all those hundreds of forgotten meetings” is pure poetry
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@ettingermentum
that’s me getting hit by a car while I bike to my minimum wage job at junk in the box.
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@alliewach
the older I get, the more I realize working is actually about work life balance and sustaining a life style and NOTHING more
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@ProtonInspector
wow, what a way to find out agripina the younger has been channeling other women… I’m literally so embarrassed
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@CarmenCrush_
@JShahryar
@randomsexworker
I saw her described as, The Coultergeist, and I’ll never unsee it.
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@maenad_as_hell
My coworker died of a heart attack a few weeks ago. In the same breath the vp used to tell us Chris died, he also said “don’t worry, we are working to fill the position and there will be no lapse in productivity from his former department” I broke down.
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@thatwimpydeer
@seannameeshelle
@jt_butthead
@eatinginmycar
I would like to formally repeal my use of the letter Y
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@heyaries1981
@plume__
they are basically like coats/jackets they wear when it gets cold out, just like us! mine wears a mask to keep the sun out of his eyes too, like sunglasses.
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@ameliaelizalde
offering my 😂 services to anyone for free, but if you want a 🤣 or even a 😹 we’re going to have to negotiate terms.
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@DasaniWThaDrip
I got fired in October from my construction job for co-hosting a paranormal/true crime podcast outside of work. They said what I do outside of work was “disgusting” and they were concerned that I might worship Satan....
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@AlannaBennett
Imagine saying, “I don’t want servants there.” Imagine calling another human being a “servant”
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@ambermruffin
Oh no... they may experience acne, weight gain, and lowered sex drive? I got an iud 4 months ago, haven’t stopped bleeding and am basically waiting for it to stab through my uterus into my torso.
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@kristnmerrilees
it actually just takes you to the video of rick ross saying “shout out to all the pear”
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@TheMcKenziest
black mirror better step it up. the real world is about to start lapping their dystopia
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@CatLadyNatalie
@plume__
men (even those without horses) will have the audacity to correct/criticize a horse girl anytime.
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@anxiousdeluxe
Remember when Tyra filed a gap into that girl’s teeth. If there’s a hell, Tyra runs it… in the name of fashion
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@telushk
As a current man dater, I use “partner” because the thought of uttering the word “boyfriend” literally gives me a gag reflux.
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@grabmybuttsticc
I went through a very real Princess Jasmine phase when I was 4, and there are some seriously incriminating photos of me dressed in full Agrabahian garb when I am infact extremely Caucasian. I am sorry. Please consider this my public apology.
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@StarleeKine
I’m dying to fake like I can’t find it in my purse and then pull it out triumphantly. I want a real is she isn’t she moment to happen. I’m dying for the drama.
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@jdogfrizzle
this could be an incredible rom com. you and one of the women you find for him fall in love over text. you scheme to run into her “on accident” and hope for an irl meet cute. wackiness (and maybe love?) ensues
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@adamjmoussa
oh no… does this mean i should stop eating a pint of ben and jerrys for every meal of the day?!
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