Elisa Hansen 💀
@ElisaInTime
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Author, actor, feminist, mistress of the macabre. Bi ace nd nb. Maven of the Eventide, video essayist and media critic.
Joined April 2010
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A little over a year ago, fans shared one of James Somerton’s vampire videos in my server, and when I watched it, I noticed he repeated something from one of my videos almost exactly. It was an anecdote I explained I’d lost the source for, so to take it with a grain of salt.
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If you comment anything on this video about jkr is right actually or about “differing opinions” I will ban you from the channel. My hammer is taking no prisoners tonight. Trans women are women.
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Behold the full glory of the shirt I made for
@thelindsayellis
in her latest Omegaverse video
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Happy
#AceVisibilityDay
everyone!
#ThisIsWhatAsexualLooksLike
Yes we can reproduce. Your asexuality is valid! 💜🖤🤍
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Make sure you check out
@Hbomberguy
's playlist of queer YouTubers you should watch instead of James Somerton. I'm honored to be included 🖤
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It's
#AceAwarenessWeek
! I didn't even know
#AceWeek
was a thing! But here's to spreading it everywhere.
2 things:
1) I did not fully realize I was asexual (or that was even possible) until I was 28.
2) You are ace enough. Yes, you. even though...etc... Yes. You are. tis true.🖤💜
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Also instead of watching his latest video on Vampires, just go read the Vox article he stole the entire Interview with the Vampire section from:
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He stated it as if it was all clear facts. I DMed him to very politely ask if he’d found my lost source and he ignored me (meanwhile following practically ALL of my Youtuber friends on Twitter but not me).
Turns out I was his source.
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And this is just one of the TWENTY-TWO illegitimate copyright claims I'm appealing on Lindsay's channel today.
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Who would have thought Muppet Phantom of the Opera would be so damn sexy?
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Baby Persephone had her one month checkup and her first round of vaccinations. She took the needle like a champ. Cried for about 12 seconds then was like meh I’m over it.
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STOP talking shit about classic monsters
Dracula is ICONIC
Frankenstein is GENIUS
Phantom is BAE
Wolfman
Invisible Man is GREAT
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I told Paul to send me cute pictures of the kids while I was away at ConBravo and this is what I get 😆
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Homo/transphobe in my comments: "thanks for ruining vampire movies, I liked them until seeing your crappy videos"
Hate to break it to you, buddy, but vampires media has always been about social issues.
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My husband used to be a YouTuber. He had a show called Music Movies where he reviewed movie musicals. He released 2 videos a month like clockwork for years until he abruptly stopped. He will tell anyone who asks that CATS was the musical that broke him and made him quit YT.
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Look who got her shots today and was still smiling after being jabbed with 4 separate needles
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Yo put your tears to work: Text RBG to 50409 and use resistbot to sign a petition to not make a decision on the next SCJ until January 2021.
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Happy October 13th! aka the anniversary of the night I married
@pawdugan
in 2013. It’s been EIGHT years, you guys 😳
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Still no baby 😪 If she doesn't come today, the doctor's bringing me in in the morning for a c-section. One way or another, this time tomorrow, I'll have a daughter.
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My 6 year old son just came into my room and woke me up by whispering frantically in my ear, “Mama, the raven won’t stop saying nevermore! I did everything, but I can’t make it stop!”
Me: o_o
....turns out he was playing with one of my library toys and the button got stuck 🤦♀️
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So thrilled to announce I just signed a 3-book publishing contract with Falstaff Books! My first novel, The Company of Death* will be out later this year!
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As the one who moderates
@thelindsayellis
's YouTube comments, I still lol every time some would-be Tolkien nerd rants that she got Aragorn's age wrong (when she didn't). "Check your facts, do your research!" they cry as they scream in all caps the incorrect age.
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Sharing this here just in case anyone else has similar thoughts.
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Happy International Women’s Day! Trans women are women.
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Thank you all so much for the love, sympathy, and support ❤️❤️Here’s a cute happy baby to brighten your day
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Someone commented on Lindsay's YouTube calling it "a disgusting feminist channel" and I'm just like hmmm...new t-shirt slogan idea?? 😄
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Me: I can't sleep cause I'm thinking of something stupid I did 20 years ago. Can you distract me?
Paul: We...
Me: ARE THE CRYSTAL GEMS
works every time.
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Anne Rice wasn't just the most important influence of my formative years, she is an essential part of my current life. I talk and think about her every day. I am obsessed with understanding how her mind worked as she created.
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Thank you all for the sweet words and love for baby Sephie 💜 She is being treated for jaundice, so we’ll be in the hospital for a few more days. She’s spent her first 24 hours under a UV lamp, soaking up the rays. Least vampirey baby ever 🙄
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Tru fax. Two of those people are my babies. I see it in the comments now and then, this idea that Lindsay is just laughing all the way to the bank. Dude. That money goes out just as fast as it comes in, and I would be so lost without her.
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Persephone told me she wanted to take her nap in her toy tent, “not the blue one, the black one.” I was so confused, cause the only toy tent we have is blue?? Then I finally figured out what she meant and I just 💀
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Keep Grey in your thoughts. He's spending tonight in the hospital with an infection in his lungs. Paul's staying with him while I'm home with the baby😢
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I am 9 months pregnant and I am an adult and if I want to have ice cream for dinner, I. Will. Have. Ice cream. For dinner.
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The second half of it all. So grateful to my friends for the year’s worth of hard work they’ve done to expose this fraud.
So, here's what happened when I fact-checked James Somerton, the worst video essayist on YouTube. The results will shock you! And then it got worse! Enjoy, everyone!
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My 83 year old step father just got admitted to the hospital with COVID because his oxygen dropped so low because he refused to take this damn thing seriously and wanted to have his friends over for a spaghetti dinner a week ago. ISOLATE!!
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Grey just went in to surgery. They’re scraping the infection out of his lung then attaching a tube which he’ll keep for a couple days. Hopefully he’ll be able to come home in time for Christmas, but we’ll see how he does in recovery.
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Paul asked me to make him this mask. I did it in comic sans on purpose 😆
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Grey has been sleeping all day and the doctors say he’s doing well.
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😢
I had strong suspicions that this was coming, but still I am gutted.
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10,000 comments in less than 24 hours. And I read them ALL.
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I just got my second shot of pfizer. But even though I'm fully vaxxed, I have no intention to ever stop wearing masks in public. I've been waiting for it to be socially acceptable to hide my face where the world will never find me since I was 11 years old.
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Facebook memories reminded me this was one year ago today, so figured Twitter could use the reminder as well.
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Grey’s surgery went well and he’s sleeping. He’ll be unhappy when he wakes up with this tube coming out of his chest, but for now he’s at peace.
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At the hospital for surgery. See you all on the other side of the knife 👶
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Grey decided he wanted to dye his hair. Also this is the outfit he chose for collecting Easter eggs today. 🖤💙
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I had to buy this book. Had to. Like contractually obligated
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Me, telling Grey about an old friend: We used to live together.
Grey: Were you family?
Me: No, we were roommates. Roommates are people you live with who are not family.
Grey: Oh. So they can't kiss each other?
Me: ....depends which fanfic you're reading
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And it was my fault, friends... my fault. "You should do CATS next!" I said. It's hilaribad, it'll be tons of fun! But nope. Paul broke.
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Of alllll the political things I've talked about for YEARS that vampire media serves as metaphors for, it blows my mind that *climate change* is the one people are stopping watching Vampire Reviews over. Seriously? Not ALL the rest, but climate change is where you draw the line?
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To everyone who's so amazed every time all your favorite YouTubers post content on the same day... it's because it's the last day of the month. If we don't post today, we don't earn for the month
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Grey: Mama, I love you how much Mickey loves Minnie. I love you how much Daisy loves Donald. I love you how much Uncle Scrooge loves...
Me, thinking: *money?*
Grey: Professor Ludwig Von Drake!
Me: 😮 I didn’t even know that ship was a thing 😆
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Lindsay: *simply points out Angela Lansbury wasn't as famous in 1991 as Will Smith and Beyonce are today*
The internet: How DARE you SHITTALK our goddess the most famous person EVER Angela Lansbury! DISLIKE for SLANDER!
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Some Things I accomplished in 2018:
-Signed a 3 book publishing contract (first release vv soon!!)
-Finished and queried yet another novel
-Gestated 80% of a human child (8 weeks to go!)
-Produced 20 Vampire Reviews
-Read 56 books (17487 pages)
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I should change my slogan to "Ruining vampires for bigots, one film at a time!" 😁🧛🏻♀️🖤
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All right, I can make 13 more of these shirts. So if you want one, now's your chance! See my tweet in the thread below for info.
Behold the full glory of the shirt I made for
@thelindsayellis
in her latest Omegaverse video
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My mom: I put your skeleton thing under the couch.
Me: *stares* You’re gonna have to be more specific.
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Took this picture as angry evidence of the mysterious injury Sephie came home from school with on her nose (usually they’re really good about telling us when anything happens) but now I can’t stop staring at those eyyyyeeees
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Ten days into my step dad’s hospitalization for COVID, my mom has finally accepted that she has it too because she completely lost her senses of taste and smell. Why is the denial so strong??
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To all the people giving me shout outs in Lindsay's comments section, I see you and I love you 😆 You make waking up to 4500 new comments to read through much more bearable 💚
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Help. The normies are goth-shaming me in my mentions. I have not conformed to the mainstream enough for their liking. The audacity of me. 💀
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Me: Surely I’ll be able to get some writing done today in between moderating the comments on Lindsay’s Game of Thrones video.
Also me:
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I didn’t want to interrupt his adoring public, but admired from afar
#interviewwiththevampire
#iwtv
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Erik, the Phantom of the Opera, may be a sewer goblin, but at least he's the kind of sewer goblin who will sing and entire freakin requiem mass for you after he drowns you in his murder lake.
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My mom is trying to make fruit juice ice cubes for Grey and she calls me, “I know you’re the Maven if the Eventide and all, but is the only ice cube try you have really this one shaped like skulls?”
Like, honestly mom, why would I ever need any other? 💀
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Seeing so much love for Lindsay in her YT comments since this video came out. She doesn't read her comments, but I do, and your support is noted! 💚
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My mom just sent me this old Halloween photo she found of me from 5th grade. I think I actually still have that wig somewhere...
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