Finally! I woke you up? Before I behead you, repay us the money we loaned you.

MARRIAGE IS NOT A MEASURE OF SUCCESS ANYMORE IN AFRICA. Marriage is a socially and often legally recognized union between two individuals who commit to building a life together. This institution typically involves emotional, social, and sometimes economic bonds, creating a framework for partnership, shared responsibilities, and support. However, the older generations in African societies often cast subtle ridicule on unmarried women and sometimes men, sometimes with remarks like "You're too picky!" This implies that her single status is due to excessive standards, as if she’s passing up good men without reason. "When will you settle down?" is another common question, often repeated at family gatherings. It suggests that her life is incomplete without marriage, dismissing her career or personal achievements. Another frequent comment is, "You’re wasting your best years." This implies that she’s losing her appeal with age and may struggle to find a partner later, pressuring her to prioritize marriage over her own timing. Older people may also say, especially to young unmarried men, "Who will take care of you in old age?" insinuating that without a wife, he risks being lonely and unsupported, as if marriage is necessary for security. "Your biological clock is ticking." is often said to pressure women into motherhood, framing her worth in terms of fertility rather than personal goals. A woman’s pride is in her home and husband." This remark implies that true success is found only in marriage and family life, overlooking her individuality and accomplishments. Marriage should not be viewed as a primary measure of success, especially in modern African societies where older generations often impose traditional expectations onto younger people. While baby boomers may regard marriage as a milestone of adulthood, today’s generation defines success more broadly, focusing on personal and professional achievements. Younger Africans increasingly prioritize financial stability, education, and career growth over traditional life paths. One significant reason for this shift is the changing economic landscape. Achieving financial independence has become a priority, as it is seen as crucial for a stable future. Many young Africans prefer to first secure their careers and income before considering marriage, recognizing that economic security is essential for healthy partnerships and personal well-being. Moreover, diverse family structures and relationship choices are more accepted than ever. Many young people choose cohabitation, singlehood, or long-term partnerships without marriage, challenging the notion that traditional marriage is essential. With the rise of gender equality, women are also achieving independence and pursuing careers, making marriage a choice rather than a necessity. The emphasis on mental health and individual happiness is shifting attitudes toward marriage. Younger generations understand that marriage does not guarantee happiness and may add pressures, especially when entered into out of obligation. They are increasingly valuing mental well-being and personal satisfaction, viewing success as a holistic pursuit rather than a checklist that includes marriage. In essence, success today is defined by personal fulfillment, career accomplishments, and well-being, moving beyond the traditional measure of marriage. By Ndwane N Samuel