Dr Lauren Robinson is looking for permanent jobs🐒
@DrLMRobinson
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Psychologist & #AnimalWelfare scientist, studier of apes/monkeys, knower of personality💜🐒 Views my own; everyone else refused to plagiarise them. She/her
Amherst, MA
Joined January 2015
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Holy fuck, a little over a year and 20,000 accesses. 7 years of my life, 26 chapters edited 2-4x each, 1 chapter written, and it suddenly feels very worth the effort. That so many care and are interested in
#AnimalWelfare
is truly wonderful 🎉📚🐒
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That baboon does not love magic. He’s flat out threatening to beat you senseless
Signed,
An actual primatologist
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By age 30 you should have a total distrust of politics, a firm belief you'll never retire, and a pet that your parents begrudgingly accept as the closest thing they'll get to grandchildren
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I’m a visiting assistant professor, I make 65k a year, and yet almost an entire paycheck goes to the $1500 I pay for a one bedroom apartment. If I’m in this position, I can only imagine where working class people are at. I’m so sick of this unsustainable price gouging
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I really feel academia underestimates the benefits of coming from a working class background. Why do I give such good presentations and handle questions well? Cause I worked retail and used to sell iPhones to the elderly. You try explaining the cloud to an 80 year old
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@ChrisStantis
Once you’ve been monkey slapped a couple times you find you learn them right quick
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Got my first paycheck from my new postdoc, immediately dedicated most of it to paying down bills from moving for said postdoc. I come from a working class background and have put myself into debt multiple times to get this far. Don't tell me academia isn't classist
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I'm going into the comments because fuck it, I'm on vacation and I have the time. Wish me luck!
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I've got a lot of "Boo nerd, you ruined the video" and to these people, kindly fuck yourself. You wanna remain ignorant? Feel fucking free, just don't go where the science is and don't feel the need to share you shitty opinion with the rest of us
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I believe that getting a PhD and being a scientist is impressive but also every animal scientist I know has been outsmarted by an animal at least once so, you know, stay humble
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1 year postdocs should be banned or only for remote work. No one can move and set up a new and healthy life, as well as being highly productive, in a year, particularly when they have to job hunt immediately. Also only the privileged can afford such a short-term move.
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In my first postdoc I made $42k and when I said I wasn't sure I could afford to keep at that pay because of insurance costs my boss told me she made $14k in her first postdoc with no health insurance. Congrats, you were horribly taken advantage of, doesn't mean I want to be.
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If you grow up working class, getting a PhD doesn't change that. If anything, you feel it more every day when you encounter people who don't know what it is to NEED a job, any job, to survive, to not have anything great expected of them. My job may not be working class but I am.
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Postdocing has ruined my mental health in a way that nothing else has. The constant career uncertainty, the inequality, the lack of power, and a plethora of other toxic parts of being a postdoc will take me years to recover from when I finally do get a permanent job. I'm so tired
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Permanent academic jobs:
Ten years ago: Two papers, a PhD, and a good pal at the uni
Now: 10+ papers, independent postdoc funding, couple vanity journal publications, multiple notable postdocs, enough public engagement to fill a stadium in a major US city, and a shit ton of luck
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I’ve been RTed by
@katemara
, aka a person I’ve seen in actual movies. It’s probably time I announced my retirement because I can never replicate this level of amusing
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I don't track attendance, I record and make my lectures available online. I don't want disabled students to feel they have to defend their need for time off or sick students coming to class and it's one less thing for me to do. They're adults, they can choose to attend or not
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“Successful women drive men away”
And? If a man can be driven away by my achievements, then I don’t want him.
It’s a privilege to be in a place where women don’t need men to survive and we’re going to live like it. Be better then being single or get out 😘
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I loved my PhD and I'm still aiming for academia but if we're not telling potential PhD students the realities of the academic job market and giving them the very valid reasons to either not pursue a PhD or do so planning to go outside academia, we're doing them a disservice
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As animal behaviorist, my social role to ruin all the fun but wrong ideas people have about animals.
"Actually, that monkey is terrified and hates you."
"No, you shouldn't feed wild animals, you're getting them killed."
"Oh I'd definitely pick the bear"
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As a coupled academic, I will never understand those who think being a single academic is somehow easier and demean it. It's not a competition. Yeah, they (maybe) don't have children but they're adults with lives, responsibilities, stressors, sadness, families. Respect that
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Tomorrow I am officially unemployed even though I have:
-4 years of postdoc experience
-10 publications
-An edited volume
-A committee I co-chair
-16 invited talks/lectures
-A shit ton of other shiny things on my cv
It's a truly truly terrible market and time to be an ECR
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Reviewer 2 just critiqued my acknowledgements. That's a new level of Reviewer 2
#AcademicChatter
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This is Sula, aka The Void, and she’s generally adored
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Some people are so brainwashed or benefitting so greatly from the current system that they actually think $1500 for a one bedroom is a decent price. It doesn't even have a washing machine in it, it's not luxury. Also sharing salary isn't gloating, it's being transparent.
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Having done my PhD in the UK, I do not understand comps and why US universities feel the need to torture their PhD students with them. You're already paying them poorly, at least let them do their research in peace
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As a PhD student, I arrogantly believed that it would never be me who was tired, overwhelmed, or pessimistic about my career, exhausted. I loved science, I'd be fine! Now, having postdoced for 3.5 years, I'm all these things and it's not cause I'm weak, it's the system is fucked
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I’m amused by amount of people that like seeing a scientist curse.
The number of explicatives used during a PhD is ≥ than the number of words in your thesis.
Scientists are normal people, we’re noncursing during talks, interviews, etc and many fucking 💜 to swear outside that
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If you cannot follow the time limits of your talk, you are bad at presentations. End.
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I worked retail 7 years to pay rent, have 4 degrees including a PhD, have postdoced for $$$$$$ company, UCLA, and VetMed Vienna and if you don't think I question if I'll have to go back to retail every time my contract is close to ending, you're not from working class
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@ChrisStantis
Yeah I mean that’s a pretty clear brow raise and open mouth threat and the jump towards the person and hitting the window, way aggressive. Maybe you’re thinking fear grimace with teeth?
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Advice: Don't let toxic work practices influence you. The MSc was a sprint, the PhD was a marathon, and from then on it's no longer a race, it's your life.
Work the hours/schedule/approach that best gives you the life you want and don't feel guilty for it 💜
#PhDlife
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Has anyone studied how professors live so long? They're out there, living under chronic stress with poor diets and little exercise for decades, defying the studies on longevity, and flat out refusing to die and/or retire to make room for the next generation
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Shoutout to all the postdocs who quietly give the students in their lab the emotional support and reinforcement they're not getting elsewhere
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My role in my research group is to ruin everyone’s day by bringing up statistics
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One thing I hate is being told to apply everywhere for permanent/TT jobs. I don’t think senior researchers that say that appreciate how terrifying red states are to anyone who isn’t straight cis able-bodied and white and who is capable of getting pregnant. It’s just not safe
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I'm the first person in my family to go to grad school and three years out of my PhD I still send my supervisor emails saying "what is this, is this something I should want to do?" because academia is a fucking trip if you're not born to grad school graduates
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If the pandemic is about to fuck all of the early career researchers over, myself included, then I sure as hell am NOT going to give into toxic academia by pushing/stressing my students. I'm going to be as empathetic and caring as I fucking want because there's little to lose
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PSA from an animal welfare scientist: Sometimes responsible pet ownership meaning not getting a pet. If you don't have the time/resources to properly care for an animal it's best to wait until you do.
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Being an early career scientist is basically a lot of telling people that you don’t know where you’ll be living in six months
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There are a billion responses to this and I want you to know if I haven’t gotten to you it’s because:
A. I’m on vacation and never thought the internet would find me this amusing
B. I’m a super busy person, as many academics are
C. So many amazing comments, can’t keep up!
💜💜💜
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Being told grants and papers matter and then seeing people with 0 grants and one or two papers getting permanent jobs.
Can't fool me academia, this whole system is chaotic privilege and luck and I'm the muppet knowingly participating
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RED ALERT, this is not a drill, red alert! I have a postdoc offer!
I haven't gotten paperwork yet so I'm not saying where until that's dead and done other than to say it's in the US and I'm VERY excited about it 🥳🎉💜
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I was single in academia for six years, and it was fucking hard. And now I've been in a relationship for almost a year and that's fucking hard too because I'm job hunting, again. Academia doesn't spare one group or another, it makes personal lives difficult across the board
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This is your regular reminder: Animals aren't props! Stop expecting them to act like they are. This shows a lack of respect for the animal, stop fucking do this shit.
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My years of experience with this, plus my natural talent for public speaking (yes, I know I’m a woman and not supposed to own my talents without being arrogant but fuck it) make me excellent in this area of academia and I’m not sorry for saying so. Working class built academic me
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The best advice I can give students is to build a network outside of your supervisors. You never know when you'll have the misfortune of working for someone toxic but if you do, not being dependent on them may save your career. Never trust your career to one person other than you
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@ThumblessGrasp
@Popehat
A. You don't want to learn science, go elsewhere
B. No, I know how to stay in my fucking lane, hence why I'm a primatologist talking about primates.
Now shoo
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Just because you can survive everything doesn't mean it doesn't become tiresome and exhausting when you keeping having to
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@cee_jaaaaay
@DrJenGunter
Hard to say, maybe he doesn't like how close that guy is or any number of things but what is clear that baboon is giving what should be a clear as fuck signal to back up
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I use Powerpoint for posters but do statistics in R that way I can both be judged and judge others in return
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Being interdisciplinary is great until you realize how many topics you’re supposed to keep up wirh
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Now is a great time to invite early career researchers to give online invited lectures because:
A. We'll do it
B. It literally costs you nothing
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|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣|
| THE BEST SUPERVISORS |
| CONSIDER IT A COMPLIMENT, |
| RATHER THAN A CHALLENGE, |
| WHEN THEIR MENTEES |
|＿ ＿DISAGREE WITH THEM____|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
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I want a permanent job and the location security to buy heavy objects. I want a cast iron skillet, you hear me academia? A cast-fucking-iron skillet.
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Bro, no. I’m looking at the men around me and wondering if they washed their hands.
Women right now are looking over at their partner wondering if that dude can hunt, make a fire, or fight.
#coronavirus
#COVID
ー19
#COVID19
#covid
#Warriorwednesday
#skinnyjeans
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I will never forget the time at a conference that I had dinner with some of the people I most respected in my field and when the bill came, I had to explain that the billion dollar company I worked for hadn’t provided a per diem and I could only afford my meal, not a split.
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I'd find it more useful if PIs listed every student and postdoc they've had and where they are now rather than their entire publication list.
It says a lot about a PI if all their students/postdocs leave the field.
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People with permanent academic jobs, how tired were you when you finally got that golden ticket, honestly? Cause all the postdocs I know are WRECKED and that's what we'll go into permanent positions as, wrecked from years of postdocing and job hunting. How does one even recover
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Others are getting upset because the working class CAN make significant money because of trades. But most min wage jobs would fall into that category, meaning that the majority are struggling. I broke my body to pay rent by being on my feet 40+hours/week, it's not all high pay
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There's a billion dollar publishing system fucking us all, college football coaches make more money than entire departments of professors, high ranking admins are making 6-7 figures, and it's the POSTDOCS you want to go after for asking more?! Honestly people, what the fuck
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How does anyone ignore the glory that is modern medicine?
I got diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at 22 and today at 31 I was told it's in remission and I can go down to one injection every 10 days. A disease that crippled people 20 years ago, in remission. Fucking spectacular.
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Some scammer threatened to show supposed video of me watching porn. Jokes on him, I read my porn, like a lady
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@WindleBeth
I could spend my every waking minute correcting people just on threat displays they think are smiling/shock and I would barely make a dent
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What are your achievements?
Normal person: -lists achievements-
Academics: -looks at 10 page cv- nothing, I've done nothing of note, I'm basically mediocre in every way
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Me: Has PhD, successfully organized three international moves, supervises multiple grad students
Also me: Is having peanut butter on bread for dinner because I can't plan well enough to shop when the stores are open
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@kariface27
@isosteph
Upon hearing Banner has 7 PhDs: What the writers wanted: ooooh, wow, very impressive and smart
What the academics heard: ooooh, wow, someone couldn’t get a postdoc, just...wow
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My partner built the cat a catio so she could go outside without killing birds and I think it’s safe to say, she loves it
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I don't mean to be dramatic but 2020 is officially canceled. Whatever happens, we'll just treat it like the world's gap year and forgive any gaps in resumes, personal life events, and progress as a whole
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Getting a job rejection after 3 months of prep, interviewing, and waiting is...rough. I know you gotta be thick skinned in science but man is it tiring some days.
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Having a PhD is great because people assume you have your life together while really you're wondering what you and your cat are going to eat for dinner
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I'm 3 years out of PhD with:
-A book coming out this year
-7 papers
-3 postdocs
-0 funding history (ok, bad)
-Connections across 10+ countries
AND I'm still nowhere near convinced that I'll make it in academia and/or it'll be worth the sacrifice.
Pandemic academia is exhausting
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So are we not saying fuck anymore? Cause nothing has ever made me want to say fuck more than doing science. Who are these people not cursing at their science?
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We’ve reached this strange point where we can only sell the value of rest and well-being as it relates to productivity instead of being simply a pleasant and valuable part of being alive.
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I see a lot of negative stories about getting a PhD but just know that it's not like that for everyone. I loved my PhD. It was a grind and it pushed and exhausted me but I loved the research and had a fabulous supervisor. It's not all bad 💜
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For years I've been watching myself and friends survive toxic PI after toxic PI only for us now to be unemployed after all our work and retaining our empathy, while the PIs stay employed and harm more ECRs. Honestly, it's so exhausting and demoralizing. I loathe postdocing.
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I’ve been postdocing for 4 years and if I have to do one final postdoc (assuming I can find one), I will but I am so ready for a permanent job where I can build a life that’s not so transient
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You’re not really an experienced animal scientist until you’ve been outsmarted by them at least once
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Both my personal and professional life are a mess, it’s called work-life balance
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I really hate job applications that ask for your expected salary. How about your list the salary range and then we discuss it once you've offered the job. Or better yet, decide on the exact pay, advertise it, and offer it to whoever you hire.
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Oh, I’m charismatic and engaging? Yeah, I used to sell children’s shoes for commission, my paycheck depended on it
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Not sure where the hate for postdocs saying they should be paid more comes from. Don't be fooled into fighting each other, fight together. Yes, postdocs should be paid more, so should a lot of professors and fuck knows grad students should be. Fight the system, not each other
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I'm more than a little excited for a first lady that goes by Dr and demands nothing less.
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After 4 years of postdocing I realize my problem is that I:
Think impact factors are bullshit, grant funding is largely luck/somewhat meaningless, and prefer to design simple focused studies instead of complex and overwrought ones aimed at glamor journals.
I mean, my bad I guess
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Tenure professors like: You knew what you were getting into when you went to grad school.
Sir, I did not know I'd be postdocing in a pandemic, how many toxic people would cross my path and try to harm my career, or an already terrible job market would get worse.
Kindly fuck off.
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So I keep getting asked about the orangutan and the ball and I'm going to stick true to what I know and tell you, I don't know. I don't know orangutan behavior well enough to give a good answer (hence why I haven't) but there are orang experts out there that may be able to
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The self control it takes to not tell people with snub nosed dogs and cats that they shouldn’t be bred because they have so many health problems. Do I love some of the famous ones? Absolutely. Do I also think they’re think they’re atrocities caused by human tampering? Also yes.
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Today's advice: The cold email. Learn it, love it, live it.
If you want data, a collaboration, a position, or really anything you're going to have to embrace this unless you have a mutual connection. Be thoughtful, spell their name right, and don't be upset if you never hear back
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Love the people, mostly men, on here telling me to negotiate moving expenses like they can't see the Dr before my name and I'm some ignorant fool. Oh, just ASK for more money? That's the trick? If only I had thought of that!
That's. Not. A. Thing. in every field, you muppets
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You can tell I'm an experienced scientist because when Google sheets stopped responding I immediately copy/pasted it into Excel and saved. Not today satan, not today
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I uh, don't have anything to promote other than science and sarcasm. So just follow the science, mask up to protect yourself and disabled people, and try to be kind and generous primates
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Me introducing my PhD student to my PhD supervisor: This is your academic granddaughter
Brilliant PhD student: Grandpa!
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Academia: Be prepared for lots of rejection
Also academia: Be prepared to spend hours tailoring each and every application, which we'll likely reject anyway
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I know that science and academia are meant to be a calling and we don't do it for the money blah blah blah but I make no apology for the fact that I expect to be paid like the highly educated and experienced expert that I am
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Saw a random woman with one ballet flat and one hiking boot on. Wonder how close to submitting her PhD she is.
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Going to write a children's book where the kids keep asking for exotic pets and a sensible but exhausted scientist tells them over and again: DO NOT OWN EXOTIC PETS, while subtly moving from coffee to shots of tequila over the course of the book
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It occurs to me that even our fictional heroines tend to be young, usually not even in their 20s. We rarely see adult, developed women go on trips of self discovery and bravery.
Even in worlds populated by myth and magic, women over 30 as the heros is simply too fantastical
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There's a high correlation between people who feel zoos shouldn't exist but also have no fucking idea how to raise the money for conservation without them and haven't even thought to consider it.
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