Delfina
@DelfinaDino
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12,167
Following
10,708
Media
8,535
Statuses
52,026
A smile is like a light in your window, it tells others that there's a caring,sharing person inside. Live, Love, Laugh. 🍁 #Bluecrew #LGBTQ
Joined August 2020
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Pinned Tweet
@softtail65
Will this ever stop?💔
From east to west.
From north to south.
Guns go off with out a thought.
Lives of young, frail & sweet.
Are cut down from parents dreams.
The toll it takes, hurts us all.
It leave us asking when will it stop?
WE need action now!
#GunControlNow
💔
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As the Kardashians celebrate their 20th and final season... I would LOVE to congratulate myself for never watching a single episode.
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Have you ever looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed? 🤨
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I hate when I'm trying to eat a salad, it accidentally falls in the trash and then I have to eat a pizza instead...🍕
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What was the most ground-breaking invention in human history?🤔
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Watching my niece at the park earlier today, another parent asked "Which one's your?" Just for fun I said "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.😳😂
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Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?🤔
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14,000 people are having sex right now.
25,000 are kissing.
50, 000 are hugging
And you..... well you're reading this....🥳😂
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If you get a loan from a bank, you'll be paying it back for 30 years.
If you rob a bank, you'll be out in 10 years.
Follow me for more financial advice..👍🏽
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Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.
Susan Collins: Hold my beer.
Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?
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@ScottCDunn
Thank you Scott, well said.🌷
The statement was a play on words "single". I've gotten great replies.
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Isn't it funny how RED , WHITE & BLUE represent FREEDOM............ until it flash behind you......🤔
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My friend asked me "Does your family say a prayer before you eat dinner?"
I replied "Non. We're Italian, we know how to cook."😁
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Elon Musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange..... you’d think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
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Apparently 29% of pet owners let their pet sleep on the bed with them so I gave it a try. My fucking goldfish died. 😭😭
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@hultmark_mark
I would ask her to take her hair out of my face... if not, I carry a lot of chewing gum when I fly ... guess were it would be going....😉
Case and point...
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@LuBonLez
I would have never, ever thought it was going to be this hard to vote out a man that did nothing to stop this virus, insights violence, racism, division, is corrupt, uses the presidency as his business, pays no taxes, kids benefit from his position, ect. How can this be?
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I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.🧦
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What’s the oldest age someone can get a circumcision?
........ I just want to know the cutoff date.🤔
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@hultmark_mark
If I could rid the world of one thing .. it would be HATE. This has caused a lot of problems in the world.. it incubuses racism, abuse, equal right ect.. I mean if there's no hate we are all equal.. just my opinion.
#StrongerTogether
✊🏽
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Wasn't following but now I am...
@CarlBovisNature
has amazing bird pic...
This one caught me... thought I had to clean my computer screen... can you see it?🤔😂😂
Today Elon took my Blue Tick away.
As an experiment to see if my reach has been affected, can you please do me a favour?🙏
If you follow me, and you see this tweet, can you please retweet it.♥️
To make it worth sharing, here's my photo of a rare Black Redstart after a fly🐦
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They said a mask and gloves are enough to go to the grocery store.
They lied, everybody else had clothes on.🤨
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@kathrynresister
@MollyJongFast
Would you expect anything decent or honorable from these people... NO....no decency or honor at all.
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WTF?!!!!! HELL NO!
This is abuse.... NFW!
BREAKING: Kansas Republicans have successfully overridden the Governor veto to now authorize genital inspections of children in order for kids to play sports. A very dark & disturbing day.
#ksleg
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I helped my neighbour with something this morning & he said, ‘’I could marry you!’’ I couldn’t believe it... you do something nice for someone & they threaten to ruin your life in return...😁
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A husband says to his wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." The wife replies, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"🤨
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Why will nobody tell me what the lowest rank of the military is?
Everyone keeps telling me that it’s private.🙄
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My son told my husband he got a part in his school play & he’ll be playing a man who has been married for 25 years.
My husband replied, maybe next time you’ll get a speaking part.😁
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While I was out shopping today I tripped in the store, a woman saw this and she wouldn't stop staring at me, so I smiled at her and said "sorry it's been a while since I possessed a body." 😏 She looked horrified.😳
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@AssusReamus
Hi Wizard.. well said... but the statement was a play on words "single". It's amazing the great reply I got back on this. Thank you for yours.🦋
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I got gas for $1.39 today. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.😏
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Told my boyfriend that my dad is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Told my dad that my boyfriend is retarded...🤭
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Did you know if you wait long enough to cook dinner... Everyone will eat cereal.
Follow me for more recipes!👍🏽😁
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My nephew found a cassette tape in my house. It was like watching early man discovered fire...😂😂
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Would you rather be the richest person in the world or be immortal?🤔
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My farmer friend used his stimulus to buy chickens.
He got the money for nothing and the chicks for free. 😊
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What's something you can say in a traffic jam and during sex?
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@ListenHere12
Well, your butt can be an organ, especially after you eat beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you toot...😂🎶🎶Cheers🥂
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I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines. He’s a Singer songwriter…… or sew it seams 🤔
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It's nice to see people like this, selfless individual. It give us hope, at a time were hope is fraying.
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His apology is not accepted.. he should be fire and charged.
"Michael Smurro, vice principal of Neptune Middle School in Monmouth County, said in an email to The Associated Press on Tuesday that he regrets throwing his beer when he and his wife realized other patrons were filming them."
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I watched the movie "Jaws" backwards.
It is a heartwarming story about a giant white shark that gives arms and legs to disabled people.
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@antifaoperative
This is insane.. a woman has a miscarriage, is grieving the loss & gets 25 to life. If a woman is in an abusive relationship.. the husband pushes her she has a miscarriage she gets jailed... he gets nothing.. this is wrong on so many levels.
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I bought a pair of Meatloaf underpants ....
The front says "I would do anything for love" and the back says "but I won't do that".🤨
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When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.🤨
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It must be hard for people learning to spell in English. For example, there is one silent K in "knight", four silent K's in "knickknack" and of course there's three silent K's in "Republican".
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How many Republicans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Trump just says it’s fixed and the rest of them sit in the dark and applaud.🥴
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@davenewworld_2
Terrible & disgusting, when will this shit stop. Poor baby girl to witness that.😢💔
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Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.🤨
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Someone just honked their horn to get me out of my parking space quicker, so now we will both be here until we're dead.😏
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I am finally living my dream. I bought land in Kissimmee, Florida and opened my own donkey farm!
If you are in the area stop by and see me at the Kissimmee Ass Ranch!
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I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.🤭
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Apparently Sly Stallone is in talks to make Rocky 8. In this one he’ll be fighting Arthritis.🤭
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Are you the kind of person who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like you're a bomb defuser.
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@joncoopertweets
Pure evil.... he is not a father... those poor kid & mother that had to watch this...
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Vegans need to lay off attacking others for their eating habits....the last thing we need is another Spinach Inquisition.🤔
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My body has absorbed so much soap and water, hand sanitizer & disinfectant...... that when I pee I clean the toilet.😳
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Where do rainbows🌈 go when they’re bad?
Prism.... it’s a light sentence... 🤔
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If you drive a Subaru in reverse..... what are you?🤔
U r a bus..🚌😁
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“Trojan” isn’t a good name for a condom.
Didn’t the real Trojan horse burst and loads of little guys came pouring out of it?😳
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I ate pelican at a fancy restaurant.
The service was fantastic but the bill was enormous.🤪
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@SarahHall1975
@MysterySolvent
WE saw thing being stolen.. like the Lincoln bust, picture frames, didn't Pompeo steal an expensive bottle of whiskey that was gifted to the WH.. it was a free for all.. The dogs were out of control.
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A 70 yr old man asked his wife "do you feel sad when you see me running after young women?"
Wife replied "Hell no, not at all. Even dogs chase cars they can't drive or catch."😳
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What is the best thing Stephen Colbert's mouth is known for?
............. Putin Trump in his place👍🏽
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@ACTBrigitte
Your as cuckoo as Candace Owens. The truth hits both of you in the face everyday, I guess not hard enough.
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Cop says to motorist: “Your eyes look a little red. Have you been smoking marijuana?”
Motorist: “No. Your eyes look a little glazed. Have you been eating donuts?”😳
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@EastEndJoe
He never leased his taxes.... he hasn't release his taxes for this election either...🙄
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People who want to share their religious or political views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.🤔
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Meatloaf says he’d do anything for love, but he won’t do “that.” What’s your “that?”🤔
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Why isn't Holy Water used in vaccines ?
...... because you can't take the Lords name in vein
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I was looking for a sofa to buy, and the salesman pointed to one and said, “This one can seat three people without any problems.” I said, “Where the hell am I going to find three people without any problems?” 🤦🏽
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I make mistakes.
I learn.
I've been hurt but I'm alive.
I fall.
I rise.
I'm not perfect but I'm thankful.
I'm human.❤️🩹
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No man has ever won a game of "Notice anything different about me?" 🤔when a woman asks...😏
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People like Allen are the ones that understand what it's like to need and not have.
Dinosaurs in Congress need to be eliminated, so real change can happen.
#VoteForChange
vote for Allen Ellison, Florida.✊🏽
When I was a kid, our trailer home didn’t have the best insulation & with no central heating system, we relied on a kerosene oven to provide heat during the winter months. This was dangerous.
Many families are faced with realities just like mine. It’s why I’m fighting for you.🇺🇸
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I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.🤨
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Why are redneck murders the hardest to solve?
All the DNA matches and there’s no dental records.
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Although I can't see her smile or hear her voice, I know she is still beside me.
She brought me into this world with love
She showed me love, strength & how to be empathic
She showed me how to love
She showed me that crying isn't a sign of weakness but a sign of strength
1/3
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My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.😏 Shit... he really cried...😳😂
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When a cougar gets so old she needs a hearing aid...... she becomes a Def Leppard😊
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Britain is the best place for foodies.
You loose pounds every time you eat.
You get the joke, right?...🤔
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These are the first people that run to the hospital when they get sick. There has to be consequence in place for people that refuse to wear a mask.
Anti-masker in Arizona acts like a douche after being confronted at Costco
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Are people born with photographic memories, or does it take time to develop?
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What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for years?
................ CHURCH😏
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I misplaced my pizza cutter, so I used my Bryan Adams CD.
........ it cuts like a knife🤭
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