Daniel Goleman
@DanielGolemanEI
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Bestselling author of Emotional Intelligence. Latest releases: Altered Traits book + Emotional Intelligence Coaching Certification.
New England
Joined January 2012
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When we're under stress, surges in adrenaline and cortisol strongly affect reasoning, cognition, memory, planning, and creativity. So if you want someone to work at their best, avoid communicating with anger or giving intense criticism. Communicate clearly with balanced emotions.
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“Emotionally intelligent leaders build with positives: They craft a vision with heartfelt passion, they foster an inspiring organizational mission that is deeply woven into the organizational fabric, and they know how to give people a sense that their work is meaningful.”
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Happy New Year!
“I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world.” —
@neilhimself
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The ability to motivate yourself, persist in the face of frustrations, control impulse, empathize, hope, that's emotional intelligence.
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Emotional intelligence includes the ability to motivate oneself, persist in the face of frustrations, control impulse, & regulate one's mood
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Once you get past a threshold IQ, research shows that for jobs of all kinds, at all levels, on average, emotional intelligence is twice as important as cognitive ability in terms of the distinguishing competencies that make great leaders.
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When leadership is devoid of empathy and emotional intelligence, the result is not efficiency, it is a cold, harsh, unsustainable power.
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“Empathy is about standing in someone else's shoes, feeling with his or her heart, seeing with his or her eyes. Not only is empathy hard to outsource and automate, but it makes the world a better place.” — Daniel H. Pink
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Hope is more than the naive view that everything will turn out alright. It is believing that you have the will and the way to accomplish goals, even if there are big challenges. Hope does not dismiss difficulties, it acknowledges them and moves forward anyway.
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“Our times demand leaders who are not just smart, but wise. Wise leaders formulate strategies that target the greater good, not just one organization’s aims. The more our communities, societies, and the world choose such leaders, the better off we will be.” –What Makes a Leader
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Positive outlook is not just a nice-to-have. Research shows it leads to positive emotions, which in turn lead to better performance, greater loyalty, higher motivation, and outstanding customer service. Pessimism leads to poor performance, disengagement, and high turnover.
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Emotional intelligence is needed in the world, now more than ever. I encourage you to share what you know about it, and continue learning.
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“Self-management in leaders matters greatly because their mental state and moods end up influencing the mood of others. There’s a direct relationship with performance–the better the mood, the better the performance.” –from Emotional Self-Awareness: A Primer
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“Before you are a leader, success is about growing yourself. When you become a leader, success is all about growing others.” — Jack Welch
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We cannot improve our emotional intelligence without help from others. We need feedback about how actions affect others, to assess progress.
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“As more and more artificial intelligence is entering into the world, more and more emotional intelligence must enter into leadership.” ― Amit Ray
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Mindfulness mediation offers a powerful antidote to ego, which is particularly detrimental to leaders.
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"The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift."
- Albert Einstein
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You cannot convince others to be more emotionally intelligent, but you can develop and express it within yourself so others see the results.
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I am designing an Emotional & Social Intelligence training program and Coaching certification in 2018
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Characteristics of a good boss: great listener, encourager, courageous, decisive, takes responsibility, shows empathy.
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“Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right.' Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along.” –George Herbert
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“Leadership is a way of thinking, a way of acting and, most importantly, a way of communicating.” ― Simon Sinek
How do leaders you admire communicate?
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Should emotional intelligence & mindfulness be taught in schools? I think so. Here's a recent interview.
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No leader is an island. Their task is to get work done through other people, and that requires social intelligence, empathy, and teamwork.
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The world needs more women in leadership in order to create balanced power structures that are compassionate, collaborative, and inclusive.
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Emotional self-awareness–the foundation of emotional intelligence–also lies at the heart of great leadership.
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Happy Holidays to everyone celebrating this season.
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love” — Lao Tzu
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Meditation has an impact on the expression of certain genes, and on our experience of pain. I'd say that's motivation to at least give it a try.
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A positive leader knows that having a good time together is not a waste of time because it builds energy and social/emotional capital.
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You can’t order people to do what you want, you must persuade or inspire them to put forth their best efforts toward the clear objective.
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“People who are truly strong lift others up. People who are truly powerful bring others together.” –Michelle Obama
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The amygdala―our brain’s emotional center―can make public speaking feel like we’re under attack. But compassion and a focus on your audience have the power to transform the experience of speaking to a group.
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If you can manage your emotions, you will have fewer aggressive or self-destructive behaviors, better tolerance, and feel more positive.
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It’s important to know how we recharge our energy–whether by spending time alone or in the company of others. That’s the main differentiator between introverts and extroverts, respectively. How do you recharge?
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Research shows that regular mental practice of positive thoughts toward other people actually grows the circuitry for caring and concern.
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“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn
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“One of the most important things about leadership is that you have to have the kind of humility that will allow you to be coached.” –Jim Yong Kim
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"Leaders are only ever as effective as their ability to engage followers. Without followership, leadership is nothing...this means that the key to success in leadership lies in the collective 'we,' not the individual 'I.'"
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Spending time alone enables us to better manage our emotions and recover from stress.
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Focus is a foundational skill because it creates the capacity for all of the Emotional and Social Intelligence competencies to emerge and develop. Many of us struggle with focus in these modern times of distraction, but we can flex and strengthen it like a muscle with practice.
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“The key to ultimate happiness and fulfillment lies within our own transformation. The more we learn and grow and evolve as individuals, the more we will find happiness and satisfaction in relationships, work, and life.” ― Kristi Bowman
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Compassion builds empathy, which in turn requires a focus on others. If self-absorbed, we simply do not notice other people; we can walk by utterly indifferent to their predicament. But once we notice them we can tune in, sense their feelings and needs, and act on our concern.
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“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
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Emotional Intelligence refers to our ability to read and understand emotions in ourselves and others, and to handle them effectively.
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“To give and not expect return, that is what lies at the heart of love.” –Oscar Wilde
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“Change is the only constant in life. One’s ability to adapt to those changes will determine your success in life.” — Benjamin Franklin
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“We’re all leaders in one situation or another, because if we influence, if we persuade, if we get people to change what they’re doing or send them in a certain direction, that is leadership. It’s the essence of what a leader does.” –from The Executive Edge
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“It's fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.”
–Bill Gates
What lessons have you learned from setbacks or defeats?
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All learning implies a change in the brain, a strengthening of synaptic connection, and even emotional habits are malleable throughout life.
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“Leaders need to realize that they themselves set much of the emotional tone that flows through the halls of their organizations, and that this in turn has consequences for how well the collective objectives are met.” –from Social Intelligence
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A leader’s ability to stay calm under pressure is critical to the success of the entire group.
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Emotional intelligence is crucial to organizational success in an automated future.
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We often don’t learn emotional intelligence in school, we learn it in life. What life experiences have helped you develop EI?
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Empathic communication is crucial for leading successful transformation. This necessitates truly listening to your team, remaining transparent, and seeking active participation.
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“Skillful leaders must be able to navigate the waters of conflict, recognize it, handle their own emotions about it, and help others move through the conflict.” –from Conflict Management: A Primer
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Once you start to pay attention to emotions and recognize the influence they have over your life, you can't go back to emotional autopilot.
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“Relationship management includes the abilities to communicate clearly and convincingly, disarm conflicts, and build strong personal bonds. Resonant leaders use these skills to spread their enthusiasm and solve disagreements, often with humor and kindness.” – What Makes a Leader
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Imagine if more leaders were active in developing emotional intelligence skills, empathy, teamwork, and positive outlook would be the norm.
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“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” –Jon Kabat-Zinn
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The brain does not distinguish between our personal and professional lives. Here's why that matters for emotional intelligence.
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When you begin with a foundation of self-awareness, you can manage your emotions better. This leads to fewer conflicts, and better resolutions.
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Listening is a skill that keeps people together. Whether it's couples or co-workers, get past the emotional rise and listen, with empathy.
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The 12 competencies of emotional intelligence, some of these might surprise you.
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There is an emotional impact to what leaders do. You can lead others towards optimism & inspiration, or antagonism & fear. Choose carefully.
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Identifying our “Why?”–that which motivates and matters to us–is key to inspirational leadership. What’s your why?
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“You are not here merely to make a living. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world, and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand.” –Woodrow Wilson
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Smiles have an edge over all other emotional expressions. The human brain prefers happy faces, recognizing them more readily and quickly.
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“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” ― Maya Angelou
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Top 5 amygdala triggers in the workplace: lack of respect, unfair treatment, being unappreciated, not being heard, unrealistic deadlines.
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Emotional lessons - even most deeply implanted habits of the heart learned in childhood - can be reshaped. Emotional learning is lifelong.
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“The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it.” — William James
What would you like your legacy to be?
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Think about your core values. Do you truly live by them or simply talk about them? Revisiting this question regularly is self-reflection.
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True compassion means not only feeling another's pain but also being moved to help relieve it.
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If you want better focus, try meditating. Research shows meditators who practice regularly have increased capacity for attention and focus.
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Maturity is the ability to increase the gap between impulse and action.
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“Our intuitive mind is more rapid, more complex, and more imbued with emotional intelligence than our conscious mind, and we downplay it at our peril.”
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Making change means rewiring our brains by doing and redoing new behaviors, to break old neural habits and make a new behavior automatic.
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IQ matters, quite a lot, you need cognitive ability. But once you put smart people together, it is EI that elevates some to the top.
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Emotional intelligence is a set of skills. Learn about the crucial competencies here.
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“Inspiring others by articulating a shared set of values and goals offers a leader one of the most effective ways to motivate people, to create a shared sense of pride and loyalty, and to create the state where people want to give their best effort.”–from Inspirational Leadership
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Empathy isn't just "nice" - it is empirically linked to leadership performance.
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Emotional intelligence gives us the tools to not only understand compassion, but also put it into action as a force for good.
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Emotions are contagious. We can harness this phenomenon to build a positive, emotional culture in our organizations.
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“I believe that our strong focus on material development and accumulating wealth has led us to neglect our basic human need for kindness and care.” His Holiness the Dalai Lama shares the necessity of mindfulness and compassion in leadership.
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By making self-reflection a daily habit, leaders feel less depleted and have a more positive impact on their employees.
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It isn't really possible to change others, but bettering yourself can inspire others to want to change from within.
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Here are my Top Five recommended books on Emotional Intelligence. What's on your reading list?
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I’m honored to be named among the “100 Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the World.”
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Our minds wander about 50% of the time, “mindfulness” refers to noticing when your mind wandered and bringing it back to your focus.
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Organizational awareness means having the ability to read a group's emotional currents, systems, styles, and power relationships.
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Emotional intelligence is not feminine, unless you happen to be a woman, it is a set of competencies that enrich life for any gender or age.
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The best leaders engage their team members, provide long-term direction, create harmony, listen to people, and encourage new ideas.
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Cognitive empathy helps you understand another's mental perspective, while emotional empathy helps you understand how they feel.
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“The man who moved a mountain was the one who began carrying away small stones.” –Chinese Proverb
Developing EI can at times feel like moving mountains. Breaking down our learning into manageable competencies and receiving guidance and feedback makes all the difference.
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It's important to know the difference between coaching, consulting, & teaching - context is everything.
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Your brain operates in an open loop, constantly responding to external stimulation. That's why you're susceptible to the emotions of the people around you, and they are to yours.
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Human connection is at the heart of all relationships - regardless of the personal or professional context.
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We all have emotional intelligence habits, for better or for worse. Becoming aware helps us course correct and create better outcomes.
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