Dan Clark
@DanClarkEsq
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Writer, director: A Kind of Kidnapping. Comedian: How Not To Live Your Life. Father to a silver pig. IG:
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Joined April 2009
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Pinned Tweet
It's release day!
#akindofkidnapping
is now available to download on the following platforms....
@AppleTV
@PrimeVideo
@GooglePlay
@iTunes
@skytv
(sky store)
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I'm in Spain. To tackle cost of living here they put cap on A/C levels; lowered gas prices (£55 to fill tank here, £104 in UK) & ALL train journeys will be free until Christmas. Meanwhile Boris on 2 holidays, Truss says profit not a dirty word (re energy companies). Nice country.
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Hey everyone, it’s been a while. Just occurred to me it’s been 15 years since the first season of How Not To Live Your Life aired on BBC3. Jesus, I feel old now. Would love to hear what your favourite episode or season was?
#hownottolifeyourlife
#funny
#sitcom
#comedy
#actor
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Just opened Twitter to see my mentions filled with people answering ‘How Not To Live Your Life’ to the below tweet. Flattered and surprised that people still remember it so fondly. Thank you. Feels like a lifetime ago now.
What’s the most underrated British comedy series?
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Well, now I feel old. Thanks BCG.
Who remembers BBC3 sitcom How Not To Live Your Life? It's 10 years old today:
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Thank you Kevin. Your wife wasn’t the only one who missed it first time round.
@DanClarkEsq
Just wanted to say, I was a massive fan of your comedy first time on television. It was so original. Loving every episode all over again this week on dvd with my wife. She missed it first time around! Obviously wasn’t thinking with her balls!
#dan
#sexypants
#golum
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This episode seemed like a funny idea when was writing it but soon regretted when it came to filming. Handcuffed, ankle-cuffed & ball-gagged for 4 days! But I got to work with a brilliant, young actress called Phoebe Waller Bridge. Not sure if she went on to much after this.
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Hey, most of the country! I hate to say this (I don't) but you knew he was a liar and cheat. There was audio footage of him, before the election, agreeing to help get someone beaten up. Yet you voted for him in your droves. Little idea, don't vote for a c**t next time?
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Woke up, did quick Twitter scan. In short:
Racism rife & vile
USA's on fire
Economy fuck'd
Second peak due
Monkeys steal Covid tests from lab
People like Piers Morgan
Trump hides in bunker
Cummings
Tories
Climate change still happening
& Brexit
But good news- horse racing’s back
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Was lucky enough to have some great guest stars on How Not To Live YourLife. People like Julian Barratt, Noel Fielding, David Shneider, Julia Davis, Rupert
Vansittart, Oliver Maltman. Who was your favourite?
#comedy
#ukcomedy
#danclark
#dondanbury
#hownottoliveyourlife
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Well this was unexpected & very lovely. My film won the
#GoldenBee
for Best Feature, Best Feature Screenplay & Best Actress in a Feature for Kelly Wenham at
@maniffofficial
last night. Not bad for our first ever screening.
#aKindofKidnapping
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When you need to cast an old lady to play a nosy neighbour in your new movie there’s only one actress you call!
We're premiering at Manchester Film Festival on March 18th, tickets available here:
#hownottolifeyourlife
#aKindofKidnapping
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Well done Gary. And to all those who think he's just a champagne socialist. It's still better than being a cunt to people.
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My energy bills for the last two months came to £1500. There's only 2 of us in our flat. Maybe the future will be heating is only for the rich. And healthcare. And education. Yay!! We're going back to medieval times. Right, I'm off to ask my wife to pee on me to keep me warm.
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Recently found out this wonderful Channel 4 pilot I directed a few years back, created by and starring Julia Davis and Nick Mohammed, is now on YouTube. Check it out before it gets pulled down.
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Is it wrong to admit I sometimes think the same thing? 😉
I still believe that
@DanClarkEsq
is the most underrated writer in British Comedy..
How Not To Live Your Life is a masterpiece..
#bringbackmrstreacher
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Strange how a lot of people get way more angry about a wealthy/privileged person (like, say, Lineker) shedding light on the injustices inflicted on the poor & needy than they do about wealthy/privileged people (like, say, most Tory MPs) inflicting injustices on the poor & needy.
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Happy to announce my debut film as director, A Kind of Kidnapping, will be making its UK premiere at the
@maniffofficial
on March 18th at the Odeon Great Northern. Tickets available here: .
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Thanks Ben. You get a prize when you hit 500.
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Every morning I tell myself I'm gonna use this strange time to do some exercise, meditate and learn something new. By 3pm all I've done is watch You Tube videos and binge an entire 95g bag of Cadbury's Giant Buttons.
#stayhomesaveslives
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I keep telling myself it's cooler not to have a podcast because every Tom, Dick and Harry (not the prince) has one. But who am I kidding? I'm not cool. So maybe it's time to get the mic out.
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Here it is. Teaser trailer for A Kind of Kidnapping, my debut feature film as writer/director. A longer/proper one will follow in a few weeks.
We’re premiering at Manchester International Film Festival on March 18th.
Tickets available here:
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I'm so anxious and nervous about the US election result but staying hopeful he can win. Come on Kanye!
#Election2020
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Late to the party I know but I love Affleck for not pretending to look like he was enjoying himself. He’s an alcoholic who can’t have a drink and went to his wife’s work do where there was a lot of very loud and annoying people. Who the fuck would enjoy that?
#BenAffleck
#Grammys
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Surely Clarkson’s scored an own goal? He’s proven Meghan and Harry’s point with staggering clarity. He’s a disgusting misogynist. But who’s actually surprised?
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I wouldn’t be so arrogant as to try and tell anyone who to vote for. So with that in mind, don’t vote for the Tories.
#GeneralElection2019
#ToriesOut
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I don’t think it is, no. 🎄🎄🎄
Is it even Christmas if you don’t watch the how not to live your life Christmas special ?! 🎅🏼🎄⛄️
@DanClarkEsq
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@jtarasco
@Markgatiss
That may be true. But I'm referring to the actions the government takes in times of crisis.
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Can't wait to have an officially elected PM who consistently lies, cheats, helps colleagues get people beaten up (proven); and refuses to answer how many children he has (either because he's ashamed or there's so many he can't remember). I can see why you all think he's The Man!
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Woke up, went on Instagram, hit with a conveyer belt of videos telling me how to get fit, rich, famous, start a brand, be my best self, overcome procrastination, sort out my diet, meditate, work on my childhood trauma & how to best plan my day. Now I want to go back to bed & cry.
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The genius behind Mrs Treacher (Mrs
@HoffsLeila
) celebrates her 60th wedding anniversary to the wonderful Hoff! Congratulations you guys. You’ve shown us all how to do it.
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Too arrogant for me to agree with this?
Just rewatching How Not To Live Your Life by
@DanClarkEsq
. The Am-Dram version of Top Gun is one of the greatest comedic moments in television history. 🤣😂🤣
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Apollo Creed was as iconic a character during my childhood as anything from Star Wars or Indiana Jones. All down to Weathers' immense charm. RIP Mr Weathers. Hope you got a stew going.
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Just got off the phone to
@TomCruise
. He seemed genuinely intrigued by the idea of adapting my musical adaptation of his 1980s movie Top Gun into a musical feature film. “Top Gun 3: You Can Ride My Tail” Here we come!
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Dick's still rocking it at 97 years old. I'm only 46 and find myself having to go for a lie down around 4pm on any given day.
#dickvandyke
Woah, 97 year old Dick Van Dyke unmasked after singing and dancing on The Masked Singer USA?! Insane
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So in the last couple of weeks ice caps have melted in Greenland and Canada, and the US Postal Service is under threat. Maybe we shouldn’t have been so snarky to Costner in the 90s.
#thepostman
#waterworld
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Tory campaign for next GE: "We’ve given you 12 years of austerity; cuts; food banks; highest inflations rates in 40 years; highest mortgage rates in 30, lies, deceit & no handling of cost of living criss. So don’t throw all that away by voting Labour. They’ll destroy the economy"
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I was starting to worry that a Biden victory wasn’t going to feel as good as I’d dreamt. But it feels so good. So so good.
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Another clip from the pilot Morning Has Broken that I wrote a few years back starring the brilliant Julia Davis and Nick Mohammed.
Watch the full pilot here:
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Remember portable CD players? Literally couldn't take a step without it jumping.
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Seems I’ve been hitting this key a lot. Does it mean I’m a narcissist?
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My interview with the splendid
@ReeceShearsmith
is up: His guilty pleasure movie is a doozy.
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I pay for about 7 premium streaming platforms because I love having as many options to watch the first ten minutes of stuff.
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Haha. Haven’t seen that in ages. Those three actors (Jessica Knappett, Dan Taylor and Phoebe Waller Bridge) all ended up getting their own series. I’d like to think I discovered them. 😉
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Do what Mrs Treacher tell you to do.
Yes it was a great night and lovely to see so many of Dan’s and my loyal fans of How Not To Live Your Life. So go see hilarious A Kind Of Kidnapping and catch my cameo!
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watched this for so long and I've become convinced it's the real Kim Jong un.
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with Boris as Eddie?
Boris Johnson and Liz Trust cosplaying Top Gun takes me back to Top Gun The Musical in the brilliant How Not To Live Your Life, by
@DanClarkEsq
@bbcthree
should repeat this / bring it back!
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11 mins into the news. Russia threatening nuclear attacks and unelected UK PM makes country pay rather than tax Energy Firms on their insane profits during a cost of living crisis. Never thought I'd miss back2back Queen Elizabeth analysis. Still, at least Trump's getting sued.
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Amazed how often I meet HNTLYL fans from other countries but a young Russian guy in Tel Aviv is most unexpected. Nice to meet you young sir.
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A 16 year-old who's more eloquent and inspiring in her second language than any of our English speaking adult politicians.
Greta Thunberg at
#UNGA
: "This is all wrong. I shouldn’t be up here. I should be in school on the other side of the ocean. Yet you come to us young people for hope. How dare you. You have stolen my dreams and my childhood with your empty words."
Via ABC
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Anyone know if I can fine HMRC for not paying my tax rebate on time?
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Utterly gutted about Scott Hutchison. His music spoke to me but had no idea his demons were so all consuming. RIP man. You will be missed by those you touched. And love to
@FRabbits
and his family xxx
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The 20something me who would've been nursing a drug/alcohol comedown on a Sunday would never understand the 40something me listening to Elaine Page's musicals show on Radio 2 right now whilst doing the laundry.
#ThisIs40Something
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Merry Christmas one and all. Why not treat yourself to this old thing?
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Earlier this year I completed my debut feature film as writer/director. It's part kidnapping movie, part political satire. But if politics keeps going the way it's going my film won't be able to match the sheer ridiculous chaos of reality.
#AKindofKidnapping
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First listen this year. Never fails to get the ole goosebumps raised. Can’t wait for the follow up
@andywburrows
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Working with the splendid
@daisylowe
today. Today she's being a vampire and nutritionist.
http://t.co/HMhBQPiEt6
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This guy speaks for everyone around the world.
Steve Kerr on today's tragic shooting in Uvalde, Texas.
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There's two types of people in this world. Those who feel sorry for that interviewer. And those who think Hugh Grant is just fucking amazing and wanna have a drink with him to moan about the bollocks in this world.
#Oscars23
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Why isn’t architecture of the past 70 years named after The Queen like previous eras were named Georgian; Victorian; Edwardian? I think Lizzy took one look at the buildings going up in the 60s, 70s & 80s and said “You ain’t naming that shit after me!!”
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The official trailer is here. A Kind Of Kidnapping is being shown in screenings with Q&As from 13th July onwards...
Thurs 13 July – London
Sun 16 July – Cardiff
Weds 19 July – Newcastle
Thurs 20 July – Glasgow
Get your tickets now...
#akindofkidnapping
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Dunno what’s going on but I’m really enjoying Daddy’s Home 2 and I’m not even on a plane.
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Feels like a week ago. I'm so old!!!
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The only problem with getting diagnosed with ADHD in your mid-40s is it doesn't come with a time machine.
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He's such a🔔
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Man, I wish everyone had posted their love for Sinead O’Connor whilst she was still alive. Always felt the world avoided her coz she was too unpredictable, unapologetic, fierce and ballsy. All the things that made her so great.
#RIPSineadOConnor
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Flicking through the channels. Did I really see a Conservative MP with his head in a water tank filled with amphibians whilst an electro cover of Running up that Hill plays? Or is that purple ohm from the 90s still very much in my system?
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Let me guess. Don gets healthy?
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At Christmas I used the ChatBot A.I. thing. Asked it to write a 3-page comedy sketch about the end of the world. It did. 3 pages with a beginning, middle & end. Characters; clever stage direction & the concept was fulfilled & concluded. Was it funny? Not in the slightest. But...
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The irony is Gordon Brown might actually be the best prime minister of the past six.
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Always knew I had a powerful influence on people.
I wouldn’t be so arrogant as to try and tell anyone who to vote for. So with that in mind, don’t vote for the Tories.
#GeneralElection2019
#ToriesOut
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Been back in London for 5 days & witnessed a surprising amount of people shoplifting. Blatantly putting stuff in their pockets. And lots blatantly jumping train barriers w/ no ticket. can you blame them? why would you respect a system that's totally rigged against you?
#toriesout
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For ages I've been trying to work out something confusing about the occasional diversity of class and type in Trump's base. Finally this amazing quote explains it all.
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When Rishi was (un)elected into power, I was ever so slightly (as much as a lefty can be) placated by the fact he might be less of an arsehole than the rest of his party. Clearly, I was being far too optimistic.
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Would it be considered agog any if I agreed? 😏
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Amazing invention but why didn’t they follow it up with the bulletproof jumper; the bulletproof trousers; the bulletproof hat; bulletproof mask; bulletproof gloves; bulletproof scarf and bulletproof shoes?
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The week that Cowell's face, Kanye's mind and Elon's ethics prove that having all the money in the world might affect your judgement. Who knew?
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I'm at Edinburgh Fest for 3 nights next week. With guests Alice Lowe, Adam Riches, surprise acts, music & games!
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A little PSA from yours truly about the Q & A screenings of my baby, A Kind Of Kidnapping..
Screening Dates:
Thurs 13 July – London
Sun 16 July – Cardiff
Weds 19 July – Newcastle
Thurs 20 July – Glasgow
Tickets:
#akindofkidnapping
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Thanks
@woodsholefilmfestival
for this lovely award. Wish I could've been there to collect it.
#AKindofKidnapping
@jackparryj
@jojoallitt
@rachelsdurance
@bulldog_film
@festivalformula
@bensaffer
@Strike_Media
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Can't work out if they're playing a cruel trick giving me loads of books & articles to read about ADHD right after they diagnosed me with ADHD.
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I’m beginning to think there might be a Spotify playlist called “Now That’s What I Call The Worst Music to Play Through a Smart Phone Speaker in a Public Place”.
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This video going round is utterly heart warming! What I also love is how that generation wear their best slacks, shirt and tie, even just to sit at home in. Pure class.
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