Damien King
@DamienWKing
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A smidgen of economics; a pinch of logic; and a whole heap of petty foolishness.
Kingston, Jamaica
Joined July 2009
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In other countries: "Slow. Road Curves Ahead. Caution."
Jamaica (Savage Pen Rd):
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Politicians put politicians on currency notes as a way to market the idea that politicians are important. The notion that Donald Sangster, who was Prime Minister less than 30 days, is more worthy of this iconization than Bob Marley, Usain Bolt, or Mary Seacole is just laughable.
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Once again,
#IslandGrill
deserves credit for its full-throated embrace of the culture. Has always been so, from its decor to its style. Well done, again.
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National hero award: Dr Peter Charles happened to be passing this accident scene this afternoon just outside Andrews hospital. He not only stopped, examined, and physically carried the man inside, he also paid for his admission. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
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You're welcome Jamaica Constabulary. Why don't you post my address, too, in case any members of the civic-minded taxi driving community wants to send me flowers? 🙄
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The evidence of the "rule of law" is not when the little man is hauled up before the authorities. That is merely evidence of the rule of power. What proves the rule of law is when it is applied equally to the rich and powerful. Give me some examples of those, Minister.
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Me: Western zinger, pls.
@KFC
Mona: Out of that.
Me: Barbecue zinger then.
KFC: No zingers.
Me: Alright, 5-pc krispers.
KFC: Don't have that.
Me: Ok, I'll have popcorn chicken.
KFC: Sorry, out of that too.
Me: Why don't you turn off the menu board & just tell me what you do have.
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I've found it! Proof that people from other countries were actually in the race. 🇯🇲
#womens100m
#Olympics2020
#Jaminate
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I've always been angry at Sir Alexander Bustamante for sacrificing Jamaica's membership in the West Indies federation for selfish, domestic political advantage, thus destroying the federation in 1961. Well, I ran into him at the S hotel in Montego Bay and the argument got heated.
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Burger King, Liguanea, 7am, Wednesday morning.
Me, trying the door and realizing it's locked: "What time do you open?"
Security, from behind the locked door: "No special time."
Me:
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The talented, grammy winning
@originalkoffee
generously decided to spend some time with a very important person.
Luckily for me, I happened to arrive at that person's office while she was visiting, and managed to get a pic.
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This is the kind of person for whom national awards ("Order of Distinction" and the like) should be reserved, rather than the ex politicians (guaranteed recipients) and successful businessmen (also guaranteed) who make up the bulk of the award list.
Wanting to help students without internet access, teacher
Taneka McKoy-Phipps reimagined the most traditional of learning tools: blackboards! 👩🏿🏫
@moeyijamaica
@ECCJA
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Your "near misses" in life aren't always apparent, as this one is. (That's my car by the fallen tree.) But there are always things, outside of your control, that could have gone wrong and didn't. Think of every ordinary day as a "near miss" and give thanks at the end of it.
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Those calling for the reinstatement of Floyd Green are misguided. That he is a nice person and an effective minister is actually irrelevant. Even the nice and effective must be held accountable, otherwise good governance breaks down. Everyone must be held accountable. Simple.
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The best of Jamaica on display. Order, punctuality, the culture, oneness, vibes.[Lost in Time Festival, Kingston]
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And in sprints, we're now the only country with ANY sweeps in the last hundred years, and have done it twice.
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Now hear this: Whatsapp groups that are established for a particular purpose (homework assignment, workplace committee, neighbourhood watch) are not the proper place for sharing funny videos or random news items. That's what your friends groups are for. Keep them there. Please.
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As academics, we are loathe to make broad statements. Every conclusion, no matter how firm, has to be accompanied by caveats to contain its widespread application. Notwithstanding, I will stick my scrawny neck out with a sweeping statement.
Fried plantain goes with everything.
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Okay, but we've established long time that your mouth can run. What about your feet? 🇯🇲
#ShaCant
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The JamCovid form that must be completed for entry to Jamaica has "length of stay" as a required field, even for residents, and further, does not accept anything other than a number (of days). I tried to estimate my life expectancy.
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As I turned out of my street onto the main road, a truck driver, stuck in the traffic in the opposite direction, threw an empty plastic bottle on the sidewalk. I stopped and chastised him for littering my community. He didn't tell me about my mother. He got out and picked it up!
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Neither Clarke nor Golding seem to have a clue how their billions of dollars of promises will be financed. All we have heard is the usual "savings" and "reallocation". There simply isn't $70b lying around to use. (JLP said the same for the 1.5 promise and had to raise taxes.)
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Me: Hello. Since I'll now be using my Sagicor credit card as my main card, I need an increase in my credit limit.
Sagicor Bank: You'll have to write a letter.
Me: A letter?!?! You mean on actual paper?
SB: Yes
Me: You must think I'm calling from 1975.
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Oh no! Let me correct you right there. I LOOK quite respectable. I only sound like an asshole.
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Words found. Well, numbers anyway: Jamaica contains 0.035% of the world's population. From 2008, it has won 83% of the women's 100m medals. That is, of 12 medals, we've allowed all the other countries in the world to take home only two (silvers). 😲
#Women100m
#Jaminate
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Dear Constabulary,
I was an eyewitness to a case of impersonation of a police officer on East Queen Street. Further, it appears that the imposter had used his guise to arrest a woman and was leading her away. I do hope she is safe.
Here's the evidence. I expect a quick arrest.
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This is a disgrace. If drivers have to be patching roads themselves, why do we pay taxes? And this is not a small pothole on a minor, rarely travelled road. This is gorge in a road that is literally in the centre of the capital city.
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He claims to actually know of one person who is a "fan" of mine. I know several dozen ppl who are fans of
@JesseRoyal1
. That makes us, like, the same, right?
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This sign at the entrance to Danny's Marina wasn't kidding. Nicolette was my waitress. [Posted with Nicolette's permission]
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Election result takeaway
#1
: The country has conducted yet another free, fair, and peaceful election with an uncontested result. Not many countries in the world can claim that. And, this time around, certainly not the United States.
#JamaicaVotes2020
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Me: I'm travelling to St Lucia.
Scotiabank: To where?
Me: St Lucia
S: What?
Me: St Lucia
S: What is that?
Me: A country
S: Where is that country?
Me: In the Caribbean
S: What is the name of the country?
Me: St Lucia
S: Senwhat?
Me: St lucia
S: Can you spell it?
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Useful tip when you get to my age: make sure that your "studious" pose and your napping position look identical.
Spoke with
@DamienWKing
about his latest report and the Jamaica Diaspora one.
I hope that I can be this studious when I reach his age!
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Am in a crowded pharmacy with my mother when she sees an old friend, & in a loud voice says, "Damien, this is Shirley, my friend from prison." Everyone looked up at these two 90+ y.o. uptown women. [Apparently they used to visit the women's prison as part of a church ministry.]
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Growing up in the 1960s, one would never hear the Jamaican language on TV or radio. "Bad English" was not allowed. Miss Lou, whose birthday we celebrate today, changed that, exposing us to the beauty and poetry in it. Instead of the statues to politicians, we need more of these.
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Trying to put on some weight so I can use this line at Tastees.
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This woman is a national hero -- Auditor General, Pamela Munro Ellis, with repetetive courage and diligence.
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Urban planning's disregard for pedestrians in this country is well known. Here, on Old Hope Road, pedestrians are expected to get thinner gradually until they disappear. Or confront cars travelling in the opposite direction.
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Seems I instinctively try to make life as easy as possible for others.
This morning, I realised that overnight I not only left the door & grill key on the outside for easy access, I included the key to my large SUV so they had a vehicle to haul the stuff away.
I'm so kind.
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The JLP thinks I'm a comrade; the PNP believes I'm a labourite. The progressives cast me as neo-liberal; the businessmen say I hate the private sector. 🤷♂️. (People prefer clouded loyalty and have a difficulty processing anything else?)
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At Kingston Kitchen, I was recognized. A man approached, looking at me curiously. "Wait," he said, "is it?" His face brightened with recognition. "You're on social media?" I nodded approvingly, anticipating his adulation. "You're that goat farmer on YouTube."
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Some observations on what is absent from Floyd Green's apology:
1. "I was taken out of context."
2. "I apologise IF ANYONE WAS OFFENDED."
3. "Mistakes were made."
4. "The PNP has done worse."
Well done, Mr. Green.
At every step of my political journey I have worked hard, and approached each diligently and honestly. I made a grave mistake and for that I’m truly sorry. I commit to working to regain your trust.
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Dear
#ReggaeGirlz
,
It isn't "Jamaica" vs "Brazil". That would be 3M Jamaicans against 200M Brazilians on a giant field. Then Brazil would surely have an advantage. But that's not what this is.
It's 11 of you playing 11 of them. It is within you.
Go girlz!
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See Damien.
See Damien's mask.
Damien's mask has a name!
It's called the I-laughed-hysterically-at-my-paranoid-sister-when-she-bought-them-3-months-ago-when-there-were-only-a-few-cases-of-a-new-disease-in-a-remote-Chinese-province-but-now-I-have-to-ask-her-to-give-me-one mask.
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It's not indiscipline. It's not indiscipline. It's not indiscipline. End that narrative. It's a failure of enforcement! It's a failure of the state to carry out its primary function of enforcing order. When Jamaicans are abroad, they suddenly become "disciplined" don't they?
Driving on Jamaican roads shows the serious indiscipline in our society. My word.
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Man: I not taking no vaccine when I don't know what is in it. (Takes a gulp of his Red Bull.)
Woman: What's in the Red Bull?
Man: ?
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I've arrived at Traffic Court to try to pay my newly discovered outstanding ticket.
My dear beloved country, nothing should be this chaotic. What a waste of productive labour.
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Maybe it was a sting.
Invited to meet with the police high command for a demonstration of whizzy new tech they're introducing, I volunteered to test the system that instantly calls up a driver's history.
That's when we all discovered I have 2 unpaid tickets from 2014. 🫢
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Scotiabank obligates me to advise them whenever I am travelling and where to because they will not honour a credit card purchase in a foreign country otherwise.
So will someone please tell me how in the name of Wally there are 8 charges on my card in the city of Ras Al-Khaimah.
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The country does not have a "housing shortage"; it has low incomes, leading to poor quality housing, nutrition, transportation, and much else. The solution is economic growth and a better social safety net (by cash transfers), not to build houses that ppl still can't afford.
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Opening of a new restaurant last night, the Minister of Industry spoke, but instead of doing so in his capacity as a national representative, he gave a partisan speech touting his party's achievments in govt. It was inappropriate. (As you see, he wasn't happy when I told him so.)
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Appropriate pun of the year award goes to Antoinette Aiken, the sign language translator whom we've all come to love on our TV screens during this crisis. Overwhelmed upon hearing of her national honour, she is reported to have said, "I have no words."
Popular TV interpreter Antoinette Aiken (
@toniterp
)
awarded national honour - Order of Distinction (Officer) - "for outstanding contribution to the deaf community through Jamaica sign language and spoken English interpreting".
Her story:
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The poorer the country, the higher the level of remittances it receives. Almost no one sends remittances to Singapore. So the high level of remittances into Jamaica is an index of the country's relative poverty. We should wish for a day when remittances are zero, like Singapore.
Remittances routinely topping 300 million a month now. Past 3.5 billion year. Very nice.
😶
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Nearly 200 years after the abolition of slavery in Jamaica, the correlation between complexion and wealth remains way too close for any of us to take comfort and for any sense of meritocratic justice.
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That's it! Had enough. Been trying but I can't hold it in any longer. This has gone on for months and nobody saying anything. Every man jus' ah suffer in silence. So I'm going to bawl it out.
What has happened to shoe polish? Cya find it anywhere? Mi shoes dem a ded fi hungry.
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This should be fun when the fire breaks out. [Manchester Shopping Centre]
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I'll be part of the pre-debate discussion panel on TVJ this evening at 8:30. So if you want to listen to intelligent, articulate discussion of the economic issues relevant to this election, then skip that and tune in only at 9pm to hear the two brilliant men in the actual debate.
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There isn't an "exchange rate" problem. What's happened is: a pandemic has reduced production. So standards-of-living must fall. The "economy" effects this by way of job losses, higher prices, and a higher exchange rate. Don't focus on the channels. The problem is the pandemic.
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Whew! Pollsters without qualifications now free to continue publishing accurate polls.
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Nigel Clarke: No new taxes.
Mark Golding: Not true, since tax revenue is up $200b.
No, Mr Golding. Tax revenue = tax rate x activity. Revenue is higher because unchanged tax rates are being applied to new activities and more jobs. The problem I have is, I know you know this.
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Tell me now, how hard is it really to follow this instruction?
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Me: (Walks past a first poster advertising the new nuggets, a second promoting the sauces for the new nuggets, and a counter sign advertising the nuggets.) "I'm having the nuggets."
KFC cashier: "We don't have any nuggets."
Me:
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Kanye West's performance in Emancipation Park was arranged and permitted in record time. Does this reflect the country's efficiency or the power of influence? If Jenny Nobody wants to put on a concert in the Park, would she get all the permits and official support in a week?
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And the award for the best Jamaican store name ever goes to:
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At my brother's thanksgiving service this morning, the priest talked about my brother and I being reunited one day. I hope that means he's coming back.
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Tip: If a product uses the word "luxury" in its name, it is not.
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Wheatley just doesn't get it. It's not about the US$1,000 birthday cake. It'd just as scandalous if it were a J$100 cupcake. The issue is that the funds of a public agency cannot be legitimately used to pay for a birthday party for anyone, minister or not. It's fraudulent misuse.
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It's so frickin' annoying. You're standing at the cashier examining the menu board trying to complete your order; and then the entire menu goes away to advertise one offering you don't care about.
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What do you mean "DESPITE being overseas" you remain "on the job working in the interest of Jamaica". You told us that the reason you were going overseas was for work in the interest of Jamaica. So was that not true, and then you changed your mind and decided to do some work?
Despite being overseas, I remain on the job working in the interest of Jamaica.
I have concluded a very fruitful and engaging four day visit to the Republic of Kenya for the 9th ACP Summit.
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My friend of 40 years just reminded me of the time, early in our friendship, when he was with me as I was paying for a new floor polisher. The cashier asked for my drivers' licence. He claims I told her that that was unnecessary since I did not intend to drive the polisher home.
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A sign in the Jamaican language (Golden Grove, St Thomas)
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A couple times a week, I go there to "try out" their exercise cycle intensively for half hour. 🤫
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Did my first Sigma run this morning. Out of the blocks like a bullet; feet whirring like bicycle spokes; arms pumping like pistons; crossed the finish line in a blaze like a champion. Don't take my word. Ask any of the 10,000 who were already at the finish line when I came in.
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"Let's just give those who are not here yet 10 more minutes to arrive."
No! Do not disrespect the people who are punctual by asking them to waste their time so as to accommodate latecomers.
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So all the big talk at international fora about "sustainable economic development" was just for looks? We seem to still think it's a good idea to "create" wealth by digging out the guts of a mountain. By definition, an economy based on extraction is unsustainable.
#puertobueno
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We live in a country in which what should be routine, on-going fleet replacement by the city's bus company instead happens so infrequently it merits a newsworthy, Prime Ministerial announcement.
#JUTCUpdate
: 🚌🇯🇲
I am pleased to announce that the first 100 of the 300 new CNG buses ordered by your Government are now complete and ready for shipment.
We expect the buses to arrive in July and be operational for the 2024/25
#BackToSchool
period starting in September.
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If at the end of it, everyone you love is alive and well, there's nothing wrong with a bad day. You get to start over tomorrow.
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As long as NHT's objective is primarily home ownership, it is aiming at helping the middle & upper classes, using the contributions of the poor. The poorest in our society will get up tmrw morning worrying about having money for bus fare and dinner, not how to buy a $10m house.
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👏👏👏. Materials Scientist. News Analyst. Appraiser. Logistician. Health Counselor. Database Administrator. These are some of the tens of thousands of careers that a 14yo has never heard of when we ask them to pick one. So they pick doctor, lawyer, or whatever their parent does.
My first thought to fix education would be to stop asking people to choose a career stream in 3rd form
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Do you realise how much we could raise national economic productivity and increase the rate of economic growth if it didn't take each car owner 3 days of hard labour and a half gallon of nail polish remover to take off the residue of the vehicle registration sticker each year?
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Why I believe in second chances? The measure of a person is not the extent to which they avoid making mistakes but rather, the presence of the capacity to learn from them.
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This is why
#Jamaica
produces world class track athletes. Other countries are satisfied with crosswalks. But in Jamaica, it's a cross-sprint-and-hurdle . [Thanks to
@FoxalotWill
for the pix]
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"Protect yourself and others from your member of parliament, Mikael Phillips." First, what exactly does Mikael do that you need to be protected from him. Second, what are you supposed to do when it happens? Splash him with water?
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From the just announced details of the proposed cash payments to the newly unemployed, PATH bonus, and small biz grants, the Finance Minister has crafted a needed handout programme that is impressive in its targeting and verification. In such a hurry, we couldn't ask for better.
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It must have been a messy separation but it seems Paul got to keep the church and the school.
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I bounced out of the car intoxicated by the fresh air of an autumn morning quickly filling up my lungs. And that is what made me realise, shit, I forgot my mask!
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I usually walk at a pretty brisk pace, in Jamaica that is. Can't get away with that reckless walking in Barbados, though. Speed bumps on the sidewalk!
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and even if the alleged perpetrators are members of parliament.
JCF is encouraging people to report all suspected cases of domestic violence, even if they're not the victim.
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I desperately wanted to use the washroom at Emancipation Park but, despite the stipulation of the sign, I just couldn't find another man who was willing to accompany me in there. I don't know why.
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Scientific breakthrough! NCB seems to have information that the virus travels thru the air only longitudinally and not sideways. The persons in each line are to be six feet apart but the two lines are only two feet away from each other.
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Election result takeaway
#2
: In recent elections, a consistently successful strategy for an opposition has been to promise a big bag of fiscally irresponsible giveaways. For the first time this century, it didn't work.
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I was served this beautiful dessert at the end of my meal at the fancy hotel yesterday. I asked the server if they didn't have any clean plates left.
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Our school experience has misled us into destructively believing that intellect is one-dimensional - brains and dunces. The reality is that it is multi-dimensional. Many who struggle at academics are geniuses at logic or perceptiveness or insight or resourcefulness or creativity.
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I have no idea how one of the menu monitors at Starbucks got connected to my investment account.
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Burger King, Liguanea, 7am, Wednesday morning.
Me, trying the door and realizing it's locked: "What time do you open?"
Security, from behind the locked door: "No special time."
Me:
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