Daily Gondor
@DailyGondor
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One newspaper to rule them all.
Kingdom of Gondor
Joined March 2018
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Lord of the Rings, Lord of the Minds. Politico headline is a gift that keeps on giving.
#dailygondor
#lotr
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Little Men don't know what's good for them and routinely provide unsolicited input on how they should run their own lives.
This harmful mindset is one of the many symptoms of erosion of trust, but Middle-earth's problems can be only solved by your betters.
#dailygondor
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Normally, we'd steal the picture and claim the meme as the custom dictates, but journalistic integrity compels us to retweet.
Politico: “Little known work called The Lord of the Rings”
Me:
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Remain on the lookout for false rag attacks to protect our freedom of screech.
#dailygondor
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Lotho Sackville-Baggins' exports of pipe-weed to Isengard allowed him to buy up large swathes of land, mills and inns.
Owning so much allowed him to invite new and vibrant guests to maintain the new order.
Today, his dream lies in ruins. Can the Shire recover?
#dailygondor
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Welcome our new readers.
We have updated the "Highlights" tab with a selection of curated articles for you.
Remember to stay informed - these Men and Elves aren't going to replace themselves.
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@lporiginalg
No fact check needed, Frodo is an orcophobe as is his problematic uncle. Facts.
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Gripped by collective hysteria, Men of the West pursue a dangerous and neurotic agenda, mindlessly repeating opinions which aren't even their own.
Dark Lord's policies offer a new direction for Middle-earth, even if his ratings are currently underperforming.
#dailygondor
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Sunday edition.
Enraptured by Aragorn's colourful, but deceptive promises, Men of the West have rallied around a single cause, unaware they're galloping towards a bleak future completely devoid of Orcs and comforting guidance of the Dark Lord.
#dailygondor
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The Saruman Institute is working with the Shire authorities to instigate an education campaign as the first step on the road to make the monolithic Shire a thing of the past.
#dailygondor
#orcposting
#hobbit
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Nations of Middle-earth are contemplating a motion to ban all speech ("free" or otherwise) in an effort to bring back dignity to the cultural discourse of today.
#dailygondor
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@TheEconomist
Reporting only now on what everyone knew was a problem years ago also provokes contempt.
You won't escape it until you start doing proper journalism. Can you?
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The hardest choices require the strongest wills. Thankfully, eradication of evil elves isn't a hard choice, so we're good.
#dailygondor
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Our march cannot be stopped.
We're going after beavers, bees, onions and holes.
#dailygondor
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Epitomic of quiet but persistent "knight flight" which devastates manflesh-hungry communities, the trend is difficult to reverse and shows weaknesses of shambolic Steward governorship which neglects those who are useful to our reign of darkness agenda.
#dailygondor
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The Shire is healing and will completely recover from the blight of filthy hobittses in a generation or two. Things have never been better (for us).
#dailygondor
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The good guys of Middle-earth (us) are winning. Soon, there will be nowhere left to run.
#dailygondor
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@vonderleyen
Here's hoping your future jail sentence is going to be at least ten times as long.
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@FellowshipFans
No, but I think we can all agree they should cancel the series and pretend it never existed.
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@alfienoakes63
If left wing voters were capable of understanding the chain of cause and effect, there would be no left wing voters.
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@Nigel_Farage
Mr Farage, how much did it cost for a former Goldman Sachs executive to buy your party?
Is there a competitive bidding process?
Are directors from other multinational banks are allowed to participate?
Asking for our friends.
Thank you very much in advance.
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