DevOps Borat Profile
DevOps Borat

@DEVOPS_BORAT

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Cultural Learnings of DevOps for Make Benefit Glorious Teams of Devs and Ops.

Kazakhstan
Joined July 2010
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
In startup we are gamify site outage. Three outage and ops team is out.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Attention devops! Make of sure you have strong plan C. Plan A and B are never work.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
In startup we have great of capability for churn out solution. Please send problem, we are pay good money.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
You can not able spell business without BS.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
In startup we are only use technology if is cover in blog of expert devops on benchmark is run on own laptop.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Cloud is not ready for enterprise if is not integrate with single server running Active Directory.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Fact of useless: 90% of data is not exist 2 year ago. Fact of use: 90% of data is useless.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Every PaaS can able be reduce to 120 Perl script.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
In startup we are practice Outage Driven Infrastructure.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Dirty secret of Big Data is you can not able deploy if you not have SQL expert on staff.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
You can not able have unlimit scalability without unlimit outage.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Word "impossible" is not exist in devops vocabulary. Instead we are use "done by Q4".
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
For increase revenue we are introduce paywall between dev team and ops team.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
50% of devops are confuse causation with correlation. Other 50% are just take wild ass guess.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
So many of enterprise Hadoop vendor, so little of time.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Correct ratio is 1 devops for 100 server because is not possible of ssh and give personalize attention on more server in 1 day.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
In devops we have best minds of generation are deal with flaky VPN client.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Source of Microsoft and Hortonworks are tell me Hadoop for Windows is release as Excel plugin.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
Source of Mozilla is tell me Firefox OS is write in HTML5 one-liner.
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@DEVOPS_BORAT
DevOps Borat
12 years
For every of stakeholder involve in your project is completion of project delay by 6 month.
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