duchovny!
@DAlgonquin
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Following
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i live in your nearest comments section. WWTD? piping hot take of the day curator. if everything is fire then someone needs to set it. thanks for reading.
parts unknown
Joined March 2012
well with donald trump living in washington at least alex smith won’t have the smallest hands in a city for once.
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stumbled upon the saddest item on the rfk jr auction site. zero bids
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her: he’s probably thinking about other women. him: what if they never green light “baby billy’s bible bonkers”
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this fella went by the online name of rad milk. odd looking duck. his tweets were almost entirely bad. says here he was a decorated domestic abuser. hold the fort. he was shot by cops because he was brandishing a blade and trying to murder his wife
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.@tedcruz What a coincidence! The first sentence my daughter ever said was "You butter believe that Ted Cruz is a real fucking shitbag!".
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fellow officers gather around bryan gillis:
From the Scottie Scheffler police report: the arresting officer, Bryan Gillis, says that Scheffler disobeyed his orders and then dragged him to the ground with his car causing injuries to the officer and his clothing.
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@BillPlaschke maybe her back still hurt from carrying the team four years ago, you fucking hack.
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maybe you should read up on what the word "safe" means, @JebBush. oh, and speaking of reading. http://t.co/7rXSEbEQcl.
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billy, this is wander franco. strengths are his uncanny ability to reach base and above average power for a middle infielder. weaknesses? he has an insatiable desire to fuck minors. and his whereabouts are currently unknown
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"nothing appealing about it" is also an apt description of everything you've ever written, @ReillyRick.
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.@SamAndNia this is hilarious. you're a total hypocrite. i spoke to god and he doesn't forgive you. in fact he thinks vloggers are assholes.
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@tedcruz congrats on showing yourself to be as spineless as every moderately intelligent person knew you to be.
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nathaniel hackett: [reading “the complete fucking idiot’s guide to coaching football”]
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even though rachel dolezal’s onlyfans content was all solo stuff, she still tagged it as interracial.
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bob lonsberry: my family was forced from their home and herded onto a ship. this is discrimination that no other group has ever experienced .millennials: which ship.bob lonsberry: the mayflower .millennials: ok boomer.
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the image wasn't photoshopped. it's a screenshot of what appeared on the site when it initially loaded. it may have been due to glitch, but it is what the site showed. rfk jr should probably allocate some of the funds raised from the auction and invest it in his website dev team.
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don’t worry about the latest train derailment, folks. our secretary of transportation mayor pete buttigieg is on the scene, so everything (apart from the toxic chemicals) is under control
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can't believe that lebron james ended game 3 by praying to allah and saying he'd join isis. skip bayless was right. http://t.co/E9k1qPbhkA.
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.@MLB @JennyMcCarthy @Cubs i didn't get my son vaccinated because of her and then he died from measles. although this was on oregon trail.
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@UweBollocks if you'd done "my 8-month-old daughter" the serious replies would be even funnier.
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@darrenrovell cubs beat pirates, 4-0. win wildcard. i'm upstairs plowing your wife so hard right now that the neighbors called the cops.
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if you live in a state without assisted suicide, but are looking for a quick way out, just become a boeing whistleblower.
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@mitchellvii if you keep that diet going until trump's inaugural ball you'll starve to death.
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papa john: i’ve had 40 pizzas in the last 30 days.reporter: [completely dumbfounded].papa john:
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When you ask your boys where they want to head to watch all the NFL action and they say "@GayHooters." http://t.co/CE05Zaf4Jf.
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hot take: all publicly funded arenas and stadiums should be required to be polling sites.
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i thank god every day that there are businessmen like you who keep jobs right here in america, @realDonaldTrump. http://t.co/2BpQxQRGLh.
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i didn't fuck eileen. i didn't cum on eileen. oh i swear. at this moment, i mean everything. her in that dress, okay i confess. i came on eileen (1/?).
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.@IslesofErin so happy you didn't die. i'm a producer for the yet-to-exist twitter news. may i retweet your video with credit? be well.
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bae: come over. i’m finished with my schoolwork .matt gaetz: can’t. fox news interview.bae: my parents aren’t home.matt gaetz:.
Daytona Beach Police are searching for the person who drove through a drawbridge crossing arm and jumped the bridge as it was rising into the air. STORY:
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I need to thank @MomsAgainstGam for giving me the courage to do what needed to be done and destroy my video games. http://t.co/gZZ2QIvpVy.
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but i heard him bullshit, as he thought was his right -.“one of you will be deemed a serial murderer tonight!”
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kate middleton: you know, i'm something of an amateur photographer myself
Like many amateur photographers, I do occasionally experiment with editing. I wanted to express my apologies for any confusion the family photograph we shared yesterday caused. I hope everyone celebrating had a very happy Mother’s Day. C.
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@AdamSchefter what's not impressive is the fact that my ex-wife took the children in the divorce and i haven't seen them in two years, adam.
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Bill Cosby.Endorsed a.Number of products like Jell-O.G.He also.A.Z.Is a serial rapist and pretty terrible dude.
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Ex-Oregon Ducks stars Sam Bradford and DeMarco Murray. Chip Kelly getting the old band back together, @trillballins! http://t.co/KsywWw3Z3C.
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I find it hilarious that this caused Darren to hit the block button and not all the "no penis" or "fake RTs" gags. http://t.co/ut1hIKRxjH.
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donald trump: corona. virus. the [heavy breathing] virus. coronavirus. there are tests. great, big, beautiful tests. tests. one word. but we don’t want people taking them. the numbers are low. not big numbers low. and we want to keep them [sniffle] there.
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no one:. literally no one:. matt gaetz: don’t talk to me or my large adult sex son ever again.
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based upon the video of him attempting to play basketball, darren rovell possesses the body control of the late terri schiavo.
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kim mulkey: i know it was you, fredo. you talked to the washington post. you broke my heart. you broke my heart
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the legacy blue check marks were on the spacex rocket that exploded today. there were no survivors. rip.
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waiter: the usual for dessert?.buck showalter: yes. w: ok. [brings out bowl of ice cream].[time passes].w: it melted. b: i was saving it.
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"i've never been mad online. never held a grudge against someone more talented than me because he refused my job offer.".-@WhitlockJason.
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happy 8th birthday, this tweet.
Perhaps @BarackObama's biggest shortcoming as President is he failed to unite the country.
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rt for @Jay_Sanin's trash opinions or fave for guacamole. thanks in advance for voting: http://t.co/5DWmeMDjZQ.
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.@darrenrovell WICHITA STATE BEATS KANSAS: YOUR WIFE IS UPSTAIRS BEATING OFF MY DICK WHILE YOU TWEET THIS USELESS SHIT.
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“nailed it,” i exclaim, after posting a trending tweet. then i high-five everyone, while walking out of the team facility. another hugely successful day as the social media director of the las vegas raiders.
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thou shalt not steal, @Chris_Broussard. that includes tweets and pictures. it's the 8th commandment, you fucking religious hack.
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the couple next to me on this megabus from chicago bound for milwaukee is breaking up.
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when coach reminds you that attendance at practice is mandatory, so you can’t make it to the january 6th insurrection.
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.@darrenrovell GERMANY WINS THE WORLD CUP: I'M CURRENTLY PLOWING DARREN ROVELL'S WIFE WHILE HE'S DOWNSTAIRS TWEETING SHITTY PHOTOS OF FOOD.
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this meal just cost me $78 at newark airport. this is why americans think the economy is terrible
This meal just cost me $78 at Newark Airport. This is why Americans think the economy is terrible.
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howie long: so the defensive sets here by the eagles have been interesting, especially after josh johnson came into the game .terry bradshaw: brock purdy probably can’t feel his hand right now .gronk: how many beer bongs do you think jalen hurts could handle on a party boat.
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BuzzFeedBenny.E.Nearly .Got.H .Away with plagiarism if.Z .It hadn't been for you meddling kids.
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@Pile_of_Derp @raylewis but he found god! if you find god and constantly tell everyone that you found god then you are forgiven.
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"i feel bad for our country. but this is tremendous content.".-darren rovell, while watching the planes crash into the twin towers on 9/11.
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@EddieMSparkles @SizzleChest33 @MELANIATRUMP that's all you need when your husband's got a small private plane.
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looks like lauren boebert’s shortcomings got exposed, so she has that in common with her husband.
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tony la russa waking up from a drunken stupor in the bottom of the 1st and finding out someone on the white sox was kneeling during the national anthem:
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@AdamSchefter this is just like when my ex-wife left me to go fuck our pool boy and then took me back a few days later, adam.
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poor wenis.
A dislike button could be coming to Twitter
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@darrenrovell the best birthday gift you could give is deleting your shitty account. btw, i'm upstairs fucking your wife. she loves it.
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jobs that old, extremely sick, basically incapacitated folks will do until they drop dead:.1) walmart greeter.2) united states senator.
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his mother was killed by a lion that escaped from the zionsville zoo. his father was out of the picture before he was even conceived. yet he persevered. found a football in a dumpster. taught himself the game.[“the pick is in” graphic flashes].the patriots select billy mcnugget.
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.@stephenasmith @FloydMayweather i eagerly await your feature on greg hardy's rare coin collection.
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.@luzypayne realy grate point, Luzy.,,. Did u know that da reasin CHRISTIAN Bale won an Oscar is because he isn"t MUSLIM Bale? Tru fact.
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🎶 and i would email 1,000 words.and i would email 1,000 more.just to be the man who emailed 2,000 words.about your wife and boning her 🎶.
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the tampa bay buccaneers winning the super bowl basically a month after a group of trump supporters stormed the capitol. it truly has been the year of the arians.
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