Funerals is where you meet the rest of the family you haven’t seen in a long time, say to each other how you shouldn’t meet during sad times only and plan how you’ll be meeting to celebrate only to meet each other in the next funeral.
Wore a dera today when running errands and my waist bead fell off right in front of boda guys and one actually said “huyo amewekea bwana mavitu “
Lmaaao💀
Okay, so I am being told there is a club huko Karen where people swap their partners. Unaweka funguo za gari place moja, you pick a random one and go to that car and find Mali ya wengine huko. Have y'all heard of such a thing ama ni story za jaba?
There is a mama who has been “babysitting” her mans kwa gym.
She didn’t turn up jana and this man tried hitting on me nikamuuliza what about his wife akanishow
“sasa bibi yangu ameingililia wapi?”
Script is the same I see😂
Awuoro saidi
Hi
@The_Mentalyst
straight to the point. I don't know if you prefer coffee or food but i will let you choose. I don't know which is your favorite food joint and I don't know when you are free so i will let you choose too. All i am trying to say is i want to ask you out. 😂
I’d promote that Cooperative bank mama. She’s a multitasker, she is good in balancing and retaining relationships.
Unamfanya senior relationship manager 😭
Someone who has 3 children decided to take a DNA test. The first 2 kids were gotten when the wife and him were struggling. The first 2 kids are not his. The wife doesn't know he knows now he his depressed AF cz he doesn't know where to start....NAIROBI!!!
If you are going to Kilifi, Watamu, Malindi using SGR, there is this comfy Van that can pick you from the terminus at Kshs. 800 and drop you at the gate of where you are going. They will also drop you back if you want.
Halla at Lucy, 0726 779 471
paying your own bills , eating, breathing and never having to beg for money...it doesn’t matter where you live. Ata Kama unaogeanga kwa na karai ndani ya nyumba, or nyumba decor ni magazeti ya Buzz or anything that may be looked down upon.Don’t let a soul make you feel any less
Anyway, now that I am over it, valentines kuna msee wa bodaboda alinisalimia sikusalimika akaniambia,
"Madam unaringa na ni wewe hii town hujabeba maua"
Carrefour Junction has a clearance sale for boxers, umbrellas and T-shirts all at Kshs. 200
If you want to buy a nigga a birthday gift this is the right time😂
You’d be out here with your friends kumbe they consider you as the ugly friend? Ukikatiwa wako hapo wondering what the ugly friend has they don’t. Anyway, love and light
There are people who enjoy their holidays at the hotel, napping all day, drinking chilling by the pool reading a book, waiting for the sunset and that’s it
Then there are people like me who want to experience doing everything around the place. Both is fine we can’t be the same
I’m doing a give away pale IG so let me do it hapa Twirra pia!
All you have to do is reply with a picture of yourself and tag me with the moment you felt your most sexiest in any piece from me! (Bag, body suit/leather jacket)
The winner gets this rope bag in brown!
I'm selling this Sexy Bralettes for 500ksh.
The colors are the same in the pictures and all of them are medium in size except the red bralette with the choker which is Cup C and the last one which is XL
DM if you need
Also, Rt, my customer could be on you TL
My cab guy is telling me the symbolic meaning of hanging shoes on an electricity line.
In Kibera, boyz wakiachana na crime, they hang their shoes on the lines
In Kayole, boyz akishootiwa, maboyz wake hang the shoes on his behalf
Huyu mwingine ni kama anawapikia fire meals the mnapewa fire strokes na sob stories. Before you know it karibu mpeane savings...lmaaao.
next meal inakua block . But atleast mlikula
Anyway, mtapona tu aki
People talk about not expecting anything from actual friendships, peopl you intentionally invest in. As much as I am a big believer of tenda wema nenda zako, it’s natural and human to expect something back from things you’ve invested in including relationships
Hey there! I’m selling these beautiful bags for you and your beautiful ladies:
F1: Kshs. 2,000
F2: Kshs. 2,500
F3: Kshs. 3,500
F4: Kshs. 2,000
Available in different colors.
DM to order!
RT my customer is on your TL....
Happy new year👀
New stock!! Buy, manifest, RT. Thanks
All bags have a sling inside. Dm me
F1: Khaki, white and black - Kshs 2300
F2: Yellow - Kshs 2500
F3: wine red, brown and black - Kshs. 2300
F4: black, yellow and white - Kshs. 2000
Haya. Bags below few pieces are still available. Hmu
Lingerie sets
@Kshs
.1000
1. Large - yellow and red :Cup (34D, 36C, 38B)
2. Medium - in yellow: Cup (32D, 34C,36B)
Video below. DM to order .
Kindly RT. Thanks
Hey guys! This is a thread. Also RT my buyers are on your TL
F1 is Kshs 2800
F2 Kshs. 2500 (the chain and handle are removable)
F3 Kshs. 2500 ( in white and leopard print)
F4 Kshs. 3500 in (white and black)
More photos of how they look follow
Imagine breaking up your good relationships mbikos you borrow money and you don’t refund them despite your friends /partner continuous patience? Are you embarrassed? Is you embarazzed? Is embarazzment in you or are you?
Anyway, kuna venye not flying with anything other than KQ or Jambojet feels like mnaeza shukishwa mid air muambiwe mskume ndege ama mshikilie milango kama Matt za Langata😭
My bro who I haven't seen since Christmas just passed by my house, I opened the door and he just peeped then asked
"Naona uko poa? Sawa basi si baadae"
And left😒
It is a painful moment for family and friends of my best friend, my former boss and mentor Liz.
I am asking for help from you to help the family financially.
Family needs 500,000 to cover everything.
Please RT & contribute whatever you have to ease this burden for the fam
So let’s say your father passed away and before he did he told you and your siblings not to marry from a certain tribe, basically a “curse “
So years later , you find a woman /man from that tribe that you love so much you want to marry/get married to.
What do you do?
Sometimes it occurs to me I’m an actual adult and it shocks me. I get to pay my bills, feel the effect of the economy, make my own decisions, do whatever I want , etc
It’s mind blowing for a second then it disappears 😂