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@CyberChasin
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2 years ago today when my brother got a job for turbo tax in 7th grade 😂
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@itsonlyness_
You would think! But honestly he was so efficient I don’t think anyone ever had a problem. 💀
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*blows into Nintendo game before inserting*
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Sex is cool and all but you can really feel how much someone cares about you in the way they kiss u
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Y’all love hating on Iann Dior. Stop acting like a gunna ft. Isn’t the coolest shit ever. How do you expect him to “put the city on” when he just got shit poppin for himself. Fuck you want him to do? Fix the potholes? 😂 I wouldn’t come back w/ all the losers hating on me 🤭
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Y’all ever had sex in real life and didn’t feel it?
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You're in no position to say this when you started fucking my ex of 5 years 4 days after we broke up.
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I'm a hand holder.. It's so much affection in a simple gesture. So comforting and nice to intertwine with another being
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I’m so proud of him. 3 lbs to 12 lbs. same baby, same beanie. 😭❤️ 1 mo to 6 mo.
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I love you so much I let you go because I understand how short life is. You can’t force someone to live a lifestyle they aren’t ready for yet. I hope one day the world brings us back, but until then you’ll be someone close to my heart and I enjoyed the time we spent.
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November 4, 2018 at 2:22 PM we gave birth to Carter Newman. He came exactly 3 months early and is doing fantastic! Due to it being flu season and him being in the NICU we will not be allowing visitors at this time. We will share pictures when he is out. Our King of the Fall. 💙
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All jokes aside, that's how deeply you scar someone when you do selfish things like that.
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If I had to see this plot twist so do you 😂 I did not know what to do
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As a woman period this is so fucking ugly of you to say and shame on you
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Happy birthday to my baby boy. I can’t believe I have a freakin 1 year old 🥺 our 3 month early, 2 lb baby is in perfect health. I love you so much!!!!!
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He paid. With HIS credit card. He’s 12. Thanks for lunch bubba I love you 💕
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update: he graduates a year early in June, credit score +700, self sufficient, Roth IRA, has a good job w 401k, accepted into numerous schools, takes ASVAB for the fuck of it multiple times…. and overall a great person. proud of you shit head
He paid. With HIS credit card. He’s 12. Thanks for lunch bubba I love you 💕
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No one thinks the world is all rainbows, Charley you stupid fuck. We all have morals and know what is right in our hearts. You were born here out of pure luck bitch and nothing else. Disgusted to have known you for years
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Honestly very beautiful. Teach our kids how hurt people, hurt people. Dad could have went to school and got bully suspended etc, or told son to stand ground, yet did what literally no one else in the bullys life was capable of doing for him & spoke to him like a person. Inspiring
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3 years ago I went into emergency labor @ 27 weeks. Carter, happy third birthday baby boy. My caring, intuitive, mathematician. 🥺 Mommy ain’t gonna let up on this dollar cost averaging. We gonna have it all baby
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..... 😂
With that being said, baby Newman 2 due.... literally any day now
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they playing sex music at work and idk if i should call HR bc my shit wet against my will
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My brother upstaged me on my own account so basically I just have to delete this one
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look I'm not gonna fight over someone who has been tongue deep in my asshole,go to his house like u were last night & lmk how my poop taste🤔
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I just found $100 🤑💰😭 never RTed anything it was just good karma :’)
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My brother will go to school and purposely poop his pants just for me to pick him up !! 🤢😖😒 third time this year he's done this "shit"
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Category 4 ... please be safe. I know I make a lot of jokes on here but i really hope everyone is okay. We will get through this.
#361
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Do moms really care what other people think... it really annoys me seeing people justify their parenting methods. Like, girl.... do u. My son is 7 mo and I make him throw the trash and make dinner & I rlly don’t care what anyone says. After he does get stuffed into a floor board
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"This hoe finna b lit" - where we're going is going to be entertaining
#TexasLingoChallenge
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Topless outside selfies are fun because it's 2017 hoe don't be assuming my gender
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"Padre staples mall" had a hello kitty store 💛
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this bitch told vic “I’d love to be your peace” bitch only peace you’re gonna be is resting in peace if you don’t get the fuck on
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My son is so perfect I can’t believe he made me miserable my whole pregnancy. he’s so cool but not cooler than carter. He’s not old enough to get jumped into the gang yet so we’ll see wassup
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Bitches b like “my pussy so creamy” whole time it’s a yeast infection
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Real ones already knew that though. Y’all love hiding on Saratoga
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I’m making a parent twitter that’s not necessarily about parenting but about financial planning, killing debt, cleaning, grocery/lifestyle. There will be no drama/ bashing lol just to clarify
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On god where tf these friends at 😂
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Every birth control I’ve ever tried has made me bleed for months on end and the others I’ve heard horrible things about. People have one life to live, they should be selfish and do what’s best for (them) No one is using abortions as birth control or is ecstatic to get one
Females won’t get on birth control bc it fucks with their bodies, but they’ll have a whole ass abortion???? I honestly think it’s the most selfish fucking thing ever.
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These are the only supporting facts I’ll post. He’s been doing this shit! 😹
He paid. With HIS credit card. He’s 12. Thanks for lunch bubba I love you 💕
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When he says he likes rough sex but doesn't even smash my head against the wall or use a single WWE move... stop pretending to be with the shits
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