Curious Zelda
@CuriousZelda
Followers
184K
Following
68K
Media
2K
Statuses
11K
I am Zelda the cat. Hunter of house flies and keeper of string. Easily startled. Often caught staring. Author of book.
London, England
Joined November 2015
Will Twitter be toast?.Has everyone fled?.It's high time I shared.A Thread about bread
120
3K
29K
I have no cash.I have no job.It's not my fault.I'm just a blob
90
7K
30K
This is the post I never wanted to write. I’m sad beyond words to tell you that Zelda has passed away. Her health took a downward turn earlier this year, and we made the hardest, kindest decision. In our final moments together, I held Zelda in my arms at home, and she drifted
2K
3K
30K
I broke a thing.It made a sound.My humans heard.I can't be found
85
6K
28K
I cannot lie.I must confide.I do a bad.And then I hide
207
6K
26K
I'm sitting at an angle.I'm tucking in my leg.I'm being very quiet.And now I am an egg
111
5K
22K
I sprinted in! .But then I thought.Am I a cat? .I must abort
65
4K
19K
People of the Internet.Be careful what you eat!.I swallowed something in the hall.And now I have no feet
117
4K
18K
Roses are red.Sparrows are small.I got you a gift.It's dead in the hall
120
4K
18K
If you're out of pasta.Or if you're low on rice.Adopt a shelter kitty.And they will bring you mice
143
3K
18K
I head outside.I bravely roam.I hear a sneeze.I run back home
72
3K
15K
I had a doubt.I had to check.The truth is out.I have no neck
66
3K
15K
I do a flop.I rest my head.This little spot .Is now my bed
58
3K
15K
My belly is out .It's ready for stroking.I will not attack.But maybe I'm joking
98
2K
15K
My humans tie the knot today.I hope they will agree.That all their joy and happiness.Is purely down to me
334
2K
15K
I like it flat.I like it snug .So I became.A carpet slug
46
3K
15K
The test results are back and I can now reveal that I am a sausage.
129
3K
15K
Today marks the end of an era, as I begin my new life as a bagel.
120
4K
14K
I cannot lie.I have a strength.I eat a fly.I grow in length
75
2K
14K
My head is low.My eyes enlarged.Beware! Stand back!.I'm overcharged
62
3K
14K
I see a bug ahead of me.I watch in disbelief.I sense an opportunity .And den I show my teef
103
3K
14K
I see a bug.We become friends.But then I eat .The friendship ends
71
3K
14K
I'm on the floor.For most the day.I should get up.Yet here I stay
98
3K
14K
Yet again, I wake up to the shocking news that I am a cat.
142
3K
13K
I need a snack.I need a drink.Until I get.I cannot think
96
3K
14K
The Night is here.A time to roam.What shall I do? .Destroy our home
71
2K
13K
I can't resist.I must explore.I do an up.I'm on a door
85
3K
13K
You pet me once.You pet me twice.You think it's safe.You pay the price
87
3K
13K
The stage is set.The coast is clear .My leg goes up.My butt is here
115
2K
13K
I lick my cheeks.I lick my nose.I lick my chest.I lick my toes.I lick my tail .I lick my butt.And all of it.Goes in my gut
70
2K
13K
I found a place.The place was right .I could not go.The space was tight.I made a wish.I did not quit.I did a squish.And now I fit
56
2K
13K
I may get pets.I may get hugs.But I will kill.When I see bugs
85
2K
13K
I did a jump .I heard a splat.I feel alright .But now I'm flat
84
2K
13K
I cannot lie.I am a felon.I stole a fruit.It was a melon
54
2K
13K
My eyes lock on.My pupils swell.Another insect squeaks farewell
53
2K
13K
I did a bad.I did not mean.I made escape.I can't be seen
57
2K
13K
I tuck my feet.I lie down flat .I turn into.A sausage cat
77
3K
13K
It's not a stunt!.It's not for show!.My planet needs me.I must go
86
3K
13K
I would have run.I would have fled.But I am stuck.Because I'm bread
67
2K
13K
They're closing all the restaurants.They're shutting bars and pubs.There's only one thing left for us.It's time for belly rubs
79
2K
12K
I eat some flour.I eat some yeast.I turn into a leavened beast
41
2K
12K
I ate some ham.I lost control.And now I am a sausage roll
63
2K
12K
I heard a knock.Is someone here!? .I'm quarantined.So don't come near
49
2K
12K
I must come clean.The world should know.I'm not a cat.I'm made of dough
56
2K
12K
Whatever I do.However I feel.When I am awake.The struggle is real
54
3K
12K
Must be wary.Must stay flat .Don't ask questions.I'm a cat
40
2K
12K
I sense it getting closer.I know it's in the hall.I think I may have seen it .It is in fact a wall
66
2K
12K
I did a bad I need to share.I broke a thing they can't repair .I tried denial I tried despair.But settled on a vacant stare
71
2K
12K
I am not brave.I'm just a bean.And what I saw.Can't be unseen
33
2K
12K
If you're feeling lonely.Or if you feel downbeat .I'll be your one and only.And pounce upon your feet
128
3K
11K
Your Zelda has stopped functioning. What do you do next?
267
2K
12K
I didn't choothe the blep life. The blep life chothe me.
87
3K
11K
I'm very still.I take a peep.It's no big deal.I'm just a creep
59
2K
12K
"I need to sleep!".My human begs.I have a think.Then claw his legs
48
2K
11K
I did a shift.I found a nook.I'm now inside.The den of shook
34
2K
11K
The things I've seen .I can't delete.And this is why.I panic eat
48
2K
11K
An existential crisis can strike when you least expect it.
49
2K
11K
He's in the room.I get a fright .He wants to pet.But I must fight
68
2K
11K
I curl up in a circle.I leave myself to bake.I'm keeping very quiet.And now I am a cake
48
2K
11K
She had a sock.I felt confused.She said to leave.But I refused
47
2K
11K
I went to sleep.My legs were slack.I'm now awake.They won't go back!
36
2K
11K
I raise alarm.I build suspense.I panic much.With little sense.I mean no harm.And no offence.I don't do calm.I am intense
52
2K
11K
Behind the couch I did a sit.No humans were around.Behind the couch I nicely fit.For hiding I'm renowned.Behind the couch I will admit.I made a tiny sound.An existential crisis hit.Alas, I had been found
52
2K
11K
Ever have those days when you just can't get out of banister?
63
2K
11K
I'm sitting on the carpet.I'm tucking in my feet.I sense a transformation.And now I'm made of wheat
81
2K
11K
I get an urge.My pupils grow.My planet needs me .I must go
47
2K
11K
It wasn't planned.It wasn't meant.But this is how.My evening went
39
2K
11K
I'm in despair.I've lost my head.I cannot cope.Until I'm fed
70
2K
11K
When you're in a heatwave.There's no need to despair.Just focus on your bottom.And stick it in the air
81
2K
11K
One thing led to another and now I'm a chicken drumstick.
61
2K
11K
They wish me happy birthday.They sing the birthday song.They start to meow the lyrics.Anxiety is strong
189
2K
11K
I need to climb.I must ascent!.The reason why? .I shall invent
31
2K
11K
I got the stance.I got the curves.But most of all.I got the nerves
46
2K
11K