Sean Holloway
@CoolSeanDotCom
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Just happy to be here / Wannabe screenwriter / One-time Jeopardy loser / Software @ IMDb
Los Angeles, CA
Joined May 2010
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Pinned Tweet
Quiz Boy: Retrospective of a Life on the Buzzer
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Trying the “wrap a gift to look like another gift” strategy for today’s white elephant, keeping an eye on whoever picks this Cheesecake Factory gift card
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Is it just me or does this jerky look like it should be on the New York Times bestsellers list
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Do any mutuals happen to work in my office and want to crack open the bathroom door real quick
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@KeepThatLnOpen
Couldn’t get it that far BUT I did stuff it full of ball bearings to make it hefty
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Check out my latest project, visualizing black holes with relativistic ray tracing:
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I feel like at this point I should mention that nobody at the party recognized or liked the costume
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Been thinking lately "for what purpose is Mickey Mouse a mouse?"
Using my very limited knowledge of photoshop and human anatomy, I have corrected this oversight. As a gift to the Walt Disney Corporation, I present a mock-up of the much improved Mickey the Guy.
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At my wedding, you’ll be able to come alone, bring a Plus One, or choose a Minus One, where you can uninvite one person of your choosing, no questions asked
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Dudes will say they could win a fight because they’re “scrappy”, which means they’ve never been in a fight, never exercise, and think they have a chaotic energy because they like It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
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Oh no, I'm not able to make a wet hole that sucks??? You got me there
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They said it couldn’t be done, they said “you can’t make homemade cranberry sauce look like the inside of a can”…….. I showed them all……………
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Guy from Tears for Fears: I find it kinda funny
Other guy from Tears for Fears: I find it kinda sad
Third guy, about to kill the mood:
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LIFE HACK: Listen to music and podcasts constantly to drown out your own thoughts also put a wooden spoon over boiling pasta
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I’m sure this person means well but I have never been roasted harder in my entire life
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@idiocygenerator
I appreciate the help but unfortunately I did starve to death in the bathroom, pawing helplessly at the door the whole time
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Fun Fact: Silly Putty was invented by accident, in a tragically flawed attempt to create Serious Putty
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The movie “Yesterday” but I find out the band Sugar Ray didn’t exist, then just shrug and go about my day
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I’ve never found Adam Levine more relatable than now that I know he flirts “wowie zowie” style
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“Phone calls are just podcasts for one person” - me, right now, just before having my thinking license revoked
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I’m a manic pixie dream boy, or, if you will, a Brooey Deschanel
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“Marie Kondo wants me to throw away my books” is the “Obama is going to take away my guns” of 2019, I dare you to @ me
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I’ve MADE IT, everyone! Just discovered one of my tweets is being used for advertisement by a wedding planning company!!! Never give up on the dream!!!!!!
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Discovered what I wrote in my idea doc at 3am last night and have decided to quit comedy for the good of mankind
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"Pornography" is such a beautiful high-brow word, they should've called it something more like "blonch"
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BREAKING: Jason Derulo has fallen from heaven, cast out by God
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do you think god stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he created
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Revisiting the greatest Secret Santa gift I’ve ever received, a copy of American Psycho with every single bad word replaced with something more family friendly - made by
@TheGreatChape
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You know what they say, you can only pick two:
Work
Social life
Appeasing the old gods so our village remains unharvested
Full night's sleep
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If you then
don't you dont
love me deserve me
at my at my
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You’re telling me a group of shrimp fried rice is called a podcast
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Everyone please behold the extremely chaotic tattoo my friend back home got
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Shout out to the bravest man I’ve ever known, this guy who put on reading glasses to read the Avatar DVD case at a red light
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The people at the table next to me are planning out a “Reddit themed improv show”, and I’m worried that if I don’t intervene I’ll be considered an accessory to the crime
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I'll take the 9 year hiatus as a sign that they truly, honestly were sorry for party rocking
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We GOTTA introduce Billie Eilish to VAN HALEN, a band that SUCKS
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Every 6 months I'm presented with a Red Pill/Blue Pill situation but the options are "learn to deal with your emotions" and "try again to grow a mustache"
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In middle school I set up multiple emails to vote for Guy Fieri to win Next Food Network Star. I felt ashamed when I got older, but now I've come fully back around, seeing as how he's truly just out here having a good time on Twitter dot com
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Every year I say “I’m gonna do an easy costume” and end up pretty much being “Me, but in a different shirt”
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Only upon my current rewatch of Mad Men do I realize who the real star of the show is
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Hey everyone! Some Real Life News for you real quick:
I’m moving from NYC to LA! I quit my job in engineering and am going to try to break into writing for TV! I bought a pair of sunglasses!
Wowie!
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Job Interviewer: "So do you have any questions for us?"
Me: "Yeah so did the Sorting Hat have some weird Calvinist undertones or was it a th
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Sickest burn I’ve seen lately was the closed captioning for some standup that said “light laughter”
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Hell yeah just went to the Twitter gift shop and traded in all my likes for this major haul
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I've gotten so used to imposter syndrome that I've looped around to an inspiring sentiment of "then again, there are a lot of very successful frauds out there"
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Sorry I haven’t been tweeting much lately, I made a deal with the mayor that he’ll give me the deed to the old spooky house on the hill if I can spend one night alone inside
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“I had a tweet go viral this weekend!”
- Me, pleading to the group of teens kicking my ass at the local park
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I don't like MOVIES, I like FILMS. That's right, I like THIN LAYERS of SUBSTANCES, often viscous LIQUIDS
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It’s great having this lame mural right by my apartment because if someone thinks it’s cool then I know not to allow them inside
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Considering skipping my plans to continue sitting next to this date going poorly in a coffee shop
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Re-living my glory days of high school local access quiz bowl, where I was unanimously considered to be “on the team”
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Every year I tell my wife I’m not going to her company holiday party, and every year I cave when I hear her shake a can of my dry food
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2009 Sean? Yeah, you could say he was a bit of a cinephile
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After a long day of Look At Screen (Medium) I love to kick back and wind down with an evening of Look At Screen (Large)
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@random_girl_mom
@Alex_Kack
Unfortunately yes 😬 but I am emitting a constant scream until I pass out
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Catch me on Jeopardy on Tuesday, October 4th @ 7:00pm!
I’ve moved past setting positive expectations for the near future, so instead I’m vowing to embarrass myself on a grander scale than ever before
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What's up freaks, it's 2022 and I've resolved to make a real, earnest attempt at "pursuing a career" and being open about it, so if you've ever wondered what my Whole Deal is, here's my Whole Deal:
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Written in HLSL run using Unity and C#. More videos in replies.
If you're interested, check out the full, way too long writeup here:
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@jackdwagner
PC culture won't let me say that I'm "ready to rock" and "about to have a real good time" anymore
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This gets funnier by the week
Excited to officially announce that 2020 is, definitively, going to be The Year of Sean
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in Empire Strikes Back, Han Solo should've said "I love you too", that would've been nicer
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Move over, Jesus on a Piece of Toast, I’ve just discovered Sad Guy on All of My Reflective Surfaces
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Dating in NYC is fun bc how often in life do you get to really truly never see somebody again
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The Red Hot Chili Peppers capture both sides of the human experience:
- Sad about heroin
- Excited about syllables
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Sometimes it’s hard for me to grasp how oppressive regimes come to power but then I remember how in 2008 Jason Mraz scatted in the middle of “I’m Yours” and we as a nation made it the biggest song of all time
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Honestly pretty rude that anyone would experience a major success in life without first sending me a letter of apology
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Sorry but Twitter IS good if you curate out the bad influences 🙏
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Millennial landlord just responded to my email with “awesome sauce”
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Now that UCB is closed I have no choice but to enlist in the U.S. Army
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A family can look like anything. It can be one weird guy. One weird, weird little guy. Just standing there.
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Literally when, ever???
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Moving cross country was great because it absolved me of setting any other goals this year, maybe I’ll just do that every year forever and consider myself successful
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Now that I’m far enough removed from it, it’s truly so funny that I drove all the way across the country with a big ol grin and a stupid Hollywood dream then was immediately T boned upon entering Los Angeles
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Called in my state of the art special effects team to make my legs look 3x bigger than my body in this pic
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