Connor Lounsbury
@ConnorLounsbury
Followers
4,633
Following
2,001
Media
3,720
Statuses
14,309
Mississippi Cherish's dad. Jennifer Coolidge zealot. Democratic hack. In that order. Opinions/tweets/jokes are all my own. He/him. 🏳️🌈
Joined February 2019
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Pinned Tweet
Straights: There’s this amazing show on Apple TV…
Gays:
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Caeleb Dressel has never won an Olympic medal other than gold.
Tracks.
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That sound you heard? It was every gay man across America gasping at Michelle Obama
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The GOAT being forced to land at Dulles. OUR CHAMPIONS DESERVE BETTER!
Welcome home, Katie! 🎉
Katie Ledecky received a warm welcome as she arrived at Dulles Airport from the Paris Olympics. She told News4 “it hasn’t really sunk in” that she’s the most decorated American female Olympian.
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The word Twitter does not appear in the Constitution.
Despicable behavior from Twitter locking
@kayleighmcenany
’s account. This is the real election interference.
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I am an organ donor, but I want my organs to go to a gay man. They won’t be happy in a straight body. I just know it.
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The fact that it's Liz Cheney all over TV and not Barbara Lee tells you everything you need to know about the media's Afghanistan coverage.
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Olivia and Paula in the White Lotus looking for their green bag
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A gay in my group chat just got literally removed for saying he liked Eddie Redmayne's Emcee
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Mom: What should we watch as a family?
Me: I heard Saltburn is a sweet family story
Mom: Ok we’ll watch that
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No Judy Garland. No Cher. No Céline Dion. No Britney.
Rolling Stone editors tomorrow:
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Exactly. Because isn't the first cardinal rule of perm maintenance that you're forbidden to wet your hair for at least 24 hours after getting a perm at the risk of deactivating the immonium thygocolate?
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canceling plans is ok. getting a job as a second assistant in a field adjacent to your interest is ok. leaving a boyfriend who holds you back is ok. doing whatever it takes to support the most powerful woman in fashion is ok. going to paris is ok. do what u need to do to cope.
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Gay men walk faster than everyone but are late to everything. Both things can be true.
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The Devil Wears Prada
Spoiler alert: Andy leaves the greatest mentor of all time to get back together with the movie's villain
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Flight attendant: Is there a doctor on this flight?
Dad: *nudging me* that should've been you
Me: Not now Dad
Dad: Not asking for a communications director to help, are they?
Me: Dad, there's a medical emergency happening right now
Dad: Go and see if a clever tweet helps
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Elizabeth Warren slowly and steadily climbing to the top of polls and doing it in a way that’s true to her values
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Eric Trump: "There's probably no politician in United States history who's made a great sacrifice than my father"
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They told us being gay gets better. They neglected to tell us it gets expensive.
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Me to the socially liberal but fiscally conservative
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When Biles makes history, America makes history. She is a legend.
Had to do a double-double take 👀
@Simone_Biles
is the first person in HISTORY to perform a double-double dismount on beam 🤯
#USGymChamps
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I am now a father to this chaotic ball of fur named Mississippi Cherish.
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Ignore a gay group chat for 3 hours and you come back to 596 unread messages.
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Eddie Redmayne: 🎶 Willkomen -
Audiences everywhere:
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Me, a gay, showing up to my high school reunion (where I was “straight”)
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Was wearing my Warren tank tonight and got called a faggot. It’s pronounced “Warren Democrat” thank you very much. 💚🏳️🌈
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Susan Page: Senator Harris, would you like to respond?
Kamala Harris: Absolutely.
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Today is
#WorldElephantDay
, otherwise known as
@yashar
day. Below is a photo of my tweets being supported and nurtured by Yashar. That’s all.
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Today was the day I learned it wasn’t the AirPods making people look hot. It was the people wearing the AirPods who were already hot. Now I’m out a few hundred bucks and still a DC 6.
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I told my mother about Mayor Pete using a bar of soap to wash his face. She said, “So what? Your father does that too.”
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Left on the cutting room floor 👀 happy pride!
Workers, public servants, vets, normal freedom-loving Americans who’d never write a weird book about “Manhood” —photos like these terrify control-freak politicians like Josh Hawley.
Thanks to
@UAW
@AFGENational
and all who braved the heat with me and Marilyn at
#KansasCityPride
!
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Twitter gays are superior to Insta-gays
quote tweet this with your most controversial homosexual opinions
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Him: I’m socially liberal but fiscally conservative
Me:
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Unions showed up. And Hawley skittered out the back door.
Another day that ends with y.
#MOSen
Hawley wrapped up event pretty quickly. Protesters — appear to be all union — yell “coward!”
Weird scene
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Funny how white people in media quickly learned how to pronounce Buttigieg but can’t figure out how to say Kamala
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Me walking past the Westboro Baptist Church protesters on my way to perform in my high school production of “The Laramie Project”
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This got the biggest applause of the night
Asked what the greatest geopolitical threat is facing America right now, Gov. Jay Inslee responds: "Donald Trump."
#DemDebate
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My homosexual genes to the heterosexual genes in the womb
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Kamala Harris Sunny Hostin
🤝
“As a former prosecutor”
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I was searching best of Cher but accidentally typed in bear of Cher. I’m so glad I did.
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Wes Moore is trying to make history, and I'm gonna help him.
Proud to join Wes and the team.
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Straights: Wow two men kissing so gay
Gays: UMA THURMAN AS THE FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT IS GAY RIGHTS
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Leg: But what you're saying isn't accurate.
Comms: But what you're saying isn't interesting.
Scheduling: I just need a time for this interview you low-life pieces of trash that represent everything that's wrong with Washington.
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This a triumph of a brilliant comedian, of a brave woman, and of the First Amendment for which she so passionately stood. Congratulations to
@kathygriffin
! So glad I go to see you at Radio City and cannot wait to see it in the big screen.
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Boyfriend: What’re you watching?
Me: It’s a video comparing all the Elphaba riffs on Wizard and I.
Him: …
Me: Sit down I’ll restart it.
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The power matrix in a congressional office:
1. Scheduler
2. Member
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.
.
Everyone else
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Gays usually: Ew, bugs are gross
Gays tonight: YASSS KWEEN FLY SLAY
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GAYS: If we let this flop, I will literally go straight*
*This is biologically impossible trust me. But let's support a lady who's supported us her whole life.
.
@kathygriffin
's "Hell of a Story," her first docu-comedy feature film, which chronicles the drama and fallout after the Trump photo, premieres in theaters across the country on July 31st!
Order Tickets Here:
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Gays can do amazing comms work for anyone but themselves
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Late to the party, but in high school, this shirt told me to keep what happened between us.
It’s officially This Shirt season for the straight men of DC
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Huge progress at the gym this morning. Got onto the machine and pressed, and it felt so easy. I audibly said, “Fuck! I’m getting stronger.” This Hot™️ then gestured to the machine, and I saw that I had forgotten to add weight.
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A reminder to my comms legends: you don't *only* have to tweet about politics. Personalities are nice.
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One Democrat, however, did. 💅🏻
Lucas Kunce.
#MOSen
also of note: Not a single Missouri Republican Senate candidate hit the million dollar mark, with Hartzler leading the pack at $937K.
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Please stop asking, “How could it be this close?” Trump is not some aberration - he is a direct reflection of so many in this country. His beliefs are not unique; they’re widespread. No matter how this plays out, there is So. Much. Work. To. Do.
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The day I decide to love myself will be the only anniversary I ever celebrate
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NYT: Which is the worst sin?
Me: Men wearing shorts that go below the knee
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Most of us think we’re HBO dramas, but really we’re Lifetime original movies - poorly written, overacted, and enjoyed by the masses. So let’s own it!
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Cinematic Parallels:
Brokeback Mountain (2005) / The Mandalorian (2019)
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The hardest workers:
1. The Devil
2. Kris Jenner
3. Digital Directors
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Petty: Not liking a tweet
Gay petty: Liking a response instead of the original tweet
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Another record-breaking quarter for Lucas Kunce!
#MOSen
🔹$1.5 MILLION raised in Q3
🔹Average donation was just $31
🔹Donations from every single county in Missouri
🔹All raised without taking a cent from corporate PACs, Big Oil executives or Big Pharma executives.
Missouri Democrat Lucas Kunce Hauls In $1.5 Million For Bid to Oust Josh Hawley
Kunce has raised $3.9 million this year in what will be an uphill battle against Sen. Josh Hawley.
Exclusive from
@mattholt33
:
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This woman just told me I can’t bring a boy date to prom
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Apparently, I’m only capable of 4 things at a wedding:
1. Judging
2. Spilling tea
3. Dancing
4. Smiling with the boys
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i THREW my shoe at the TV when America failed Melinda Doolittle
gay people WILL stan someone who came sixth in a TV talent contest 14 years ago
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We gays WISH we could throw shade like Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
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List of Republican Committee Chairs in the 117th Congress
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All you people wanting January to end. Look where that got us?!
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No it doesn’t.
Asked if he would make the same deal with Epstein today, Alex Acosta says in part: "Today's world treats victims very, very differently."
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