Nostalgia
@ComedyPosts
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Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal minds episode.
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roses r red
violets r blue
sunflowers r yellow
i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts
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Study tip:
• stand up
• Stretch
• Take a walk
• Go to the airport
• Get on a plane
• Never return
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things that will always sound sarcastic:
- good for you
- thanks a lot
- yeah right
- nice to know
- wow way to go
- totally
- ok buddy
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How I talk:
25% swearing
25% sarcasm
50% a combination of both
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Teacher: "Can u please tell the class why ur so late?"
Me: Someone told me to go to hell
Me: Couldnt find it at first
Me: But now I'm here
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I just
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
really
don't give a shit
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my hobbies:
- switching between the same three apps for hours
- imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
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Senior year is like rainbow road in mario kart cuz it looks fun but rllly it's just u falling off the track into emptiness over & over again
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things that are sad:
the amount of schoolwork i have to do
things that are even sadder:
the amount of school work i havent done
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oh no i dropped my motivation and have no desire to pick it up
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“what’s your favorite position in bed?”
near the wall so I can use my phone while it’s charging
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Texts that piss me off:
1. Yeah
2. Oh
3. Yup
4. Lol
5. Haha
6. K
7. Nope
8. Chillin
9. Naw
10. Send me a pic
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Mayweather has hugged Manny more times than my dad has hugged me my whole life
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I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
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