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@ComedyPosts

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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Fifty shades of grey is romantic only because the guy is a billionaire. If he was living in a trailer it would be a Criminal minds episode.
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
roses r red violets r blue sunflowers r yellow i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Study tip: • stand up • Stretch • Take a walk • Go to the airport • Get on a plane • Never return
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Do I give a fuck? N   O     O      o      o       o      o      。     。    .    .     .     . Bitch
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
things that will always sound sarcastic: - good for you - thanks a lot - yeah right - nice to know - wow way to go - totally - ok buddy
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
How I talk: 25% swearing 25% sarcasm 50% a combination of both
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
*throws lamp at you* u need to lighten the fuck up
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Teacher: "Can u please tell the class why ur so late?" Me: Someone told me to go to hell Me: Couldnt find it at first Me: But now I'm here
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Use promo code "NETFLIX" to get 50% off your grades.
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
I got 99 problems. You're 98 of them.
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
smiling at that motherfucker who doesn't like you
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
I just really really really really really really really really really really really really really really don't give a shit
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
9 years
when your mom says "take your sibling with you" http://t.co/4M79F6TroX
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
me 🌹 you 🌵 me 💎 you 💩 me 👠 you 👡
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
my hobbies: - switching between the same three apps for hours - imagining myself in situations that will literally never exist
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
Senior year is like rainbow road in mario kart cuz it looks fun but rllly it's just u falling off the track into emptiness over & over again
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
if i'm weird around u that means im comfy with u
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
things that are sad: the amount of schoolwork i have to do things that are even sadder: the amount of school work i havent done
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
oh no i dropped my motivation and have no desire to pick it up
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
9 years
“what’s your favorite position in bed?” near the wall so I can use my phone while it’s charging
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
12 years
Texts that piss me off: 1. Yeah 2. Oh 3. Yup 4. Lol 5. Haha 6. K 7. Nope 8. Chillin 9. Naw 10. Send me a pic
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
9 years
Mayweather has hugged Manny more times than my dad has hugged me my whole life
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@ComedyPosts
Nostalgia
10 years
I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
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