OffTheColePost
@ColeRougas
Followers
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Following
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12,148
IBS haver, DnD DM, hockey goalie, songwriter
Boston, MA
Joined November 2012
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Getting an MRI today so I get to finally live my fantasy of being an NMR sample
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What would the equivalent of this be for a chemist?
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Me: I am mature and coming into my own as an adult
Also me:
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@theghissilent
@karmbanks
“Anything else to confess, my child?”
“Yeah I stole my parents’ car”
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@GoaliesNeverSay
I don’t like defensemen giving me their sticks. I’m still pretty effective without a stick, skaters are not
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Just found a therapist who I think is a good fit and is 100% COVERED BY INSURANCE can I get some Ws in the chat
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@Aelthemplaer
Two years of legitimate friendship before a cross-country move on my part made a relationship possible
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Gonna impress the techs by asking if I can help integrate the peaks once it’s done
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@amulligan81
@RealStamkos91
Which is why you should be furious that black lives are being disproportionately ended by the police!
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When you convince your landlord to get a dishwasher installed and haggle down his proposed rent increase
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It's the freakin weekend baby I'm about to probably not leave my apartment at all
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I went to the Indian restaurant around the corner for the first time since January and the cashier remembered me 🥺🥺🥺
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@emorydominique
Stopping people from stoning ≠ supporting; he very clearly tells the woman in John 7:53 - 8:11 not to return to that way of life.
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This is an appreciation tweet for
@rougasrougas
who, from a very young age, would answer any accusation with “no I amn’t!”
Ahead of her time in contraction innovation. A true visionary.
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I love the pettiness of John making a point in his Gospel that he got to Jesus’ tomb before Peter did
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@eckert_emily
@red10meg
Man: [is creepy]
You: Dude stop
Man: No no you don’t understand, [doubles down]
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Ok I never do this but I need like... all the prayers, please
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@BarefootCowboy_
@HaleyCarrots
Canada, Australia, Japan, pretty much any EU country, to name a few
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When you accidentally end up in the student section even though you graduated
.
@PresidentAoun
cheers on the Huskies, who are up 2-1 after the first period.
#Beanpot
@GoNUmhockey
#GoNU
Get live updates:
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@bithits
@eckert_emily
@red10meg
Sir the problem is you’re saying that if she doesn’t cover her hair with a fancy piece of linen, then she is an object of sexual temptation that would distract you from Mass. I’m sure that’s not what you think you mean, but that’s what is being conveyed. It’s not a compliment..
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“Welcome to the Salty Spitoon how tough are ya?”
“I worked at a grocery store”
“So?”
“During COVID-19”
“Oh please right this way”
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Oh THIS is where I’ve been going wrong
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Maybe I’m relatively sheltered on Twitter but I cannot for the life of me understand how this election is so close. Did I just IMAGINE the last four years of blatant incompetence, corruption, racism, xenophobia, misogyny, disregard for the poor, lies, climate change denial, impea
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How to get to IV according to
@MariaPazVT
: Go across the big green area, through the big white building, and go in the big grey building
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@TheGoalieGuild
I cannot express in 140 characters, or even 1000, how profound this book is. Incredible work!
http://t.co/IJLpMxggKI
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If this ain’t the truest shit I’ve tweeted
The 5th picture in your camera roll is why you're still single. Drop it, no cheating.
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Jesus made a habit of giving free food to those to the hungry, telling the rich to sell all their possessions and give to the poor, and healing the sick, all without “vetting” them to see who deserved help based on merit. This tweet is Americanist bullshit.
God’s justice is relentlessly merit-based.
Jesus is the ultimate Capitalist, and He would rather see you burn in Hell than give you what you need, unless you confess that you don’t deserve what you need from Him.
If you hate Capitalism, you very likely will hate Christ.
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I feel like if a guy asks for your number and immediately asks you to get coffee it may be a good idea to mention that you have a boyfriend before meeting with him in person. Idk.
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When my mom is (apparently) mad at me for not sending a Mother’s Day card this year when I have never done so before
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NEW SONG ALERT
I wrote and recorded an upbeat song for once! Click here to listen to You Need to Text Me Back, a song about dating apps and bad texters!
Many thanks to
@juli_nguist
for help on the harmonies ❤️❤️
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I... don’t have words for this. How can you applaud these men? What they did was evil. This is evil.
Buffalo police officers applauded by their colleagues as they leave the courthouse
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Just staved off a flare up/panic attack using methods from my therapist and nurses at the hospital so chalk one up for personal development
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Idk how many other nerds I follow who watch this channel but does anyone else want to see Simon from
@crypticcracking
on Hot Ones?
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@bithits
@eckert_emily
@red10meg
, and furthermore you’re responsible for dealing with your own temptations. Better to enter the kingdom of heaven missing an eye, and all that
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Having to tell your grandpa to stop flirting with the cute waitresses -____-
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Just found out the Bruins refer to their team plane as Bear Force One. Evening made.
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Literally just me and old ladies in this mass so current plan is to socialize and get on their good sides after Mass and they’ll al say “oh you simple have to meet my granddaughter” and then I have an In baybay
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Friendly reminder that Americanism and nationalist hymns have no place in the Mass
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@NMercad
And congrats to the wings on being the ONLY team eliminated from playoff contention this year
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Pray for me I’m arguing with conservatives on Facebook again
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The 8-hour work day can be divided into two time segments of equal length: The first six hours, and the last two
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DOCS FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING SPECIFICALLY WRONG WITH MY STOMACH CAN I GET A W
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@kaitbagley
Not what you were asking for but does anyone in this thread have the companion to this Mary icon?
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Wait til they hear bukkake
NCAA Hockey: doesn’t allow alcohol to be sold at events because of their “family values”
@NUDoghouse
: does an “anal” chant
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@MeddlinMegs
@leahajk
From my understanding, it’s a lot easier to learn a language as a child than an adult. If you want a deaf person to have a chance to learn to hear and speak spoken languages you really want to take advantage of that brain plasticity
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"I like being a chem major"
"Yeah but do you have a girlfriend?"
"No"
"Well there ya go"
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"He was on his way home from the Civil War, got Thai food or something"
"You mean typhoid?"
"Yeah that"
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My roomie barged in and woke me, informing me that I need to "turn up." Now he's vomiting all his alcohol from tonight. Solid advice, bro.
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Me: I’m so excited to go see my family who I haven’t seen since 2019!
God: Ok but have you instead considered c r i p p l i n g I B S ?
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I’m either on zero dating apps or four at once, never in between
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I can only hope to one day have the confidence of the man shouting across Target, asking his girlfriend if she has his laxatives
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I love how I can just ask coworkers for incredibly toxic gasses and they’ll just give them to me no questions asked. Love this job.
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Explaining Boston to parents: "It's like someone sprayed silly string on a map and decided 'This will be the layout of the city'"
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