Cobra Commander
@CobraCommander
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How dare you anticipate my strategy!
Cobra Island
Joined May 2008
Our SuperBowl commercial would be 25 seconds of this, followed by a recruitment QR code.
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Does Cobra have any DEI policies? Sure — destruction, embezzlement, interrogation…
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One of my favorite bits about the American Dream is it makes all of you think you’re the predators, not the prey.
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If that one congressman who wants to kill OSHA has a “workplace accident” none of my ninja were nearby.
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FWIW only one of these organizations has a DEI policy.
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He should do an Executive Order to cut G.I. Joe’s budget. Do they really need five levels of steel-reinforced, radiation-shielded concrete and alloy armor capable of withstanding a five megaton direct hit and remaining buttoned up past radiation subsidence? And a hologram room?!
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We’re not doing the planes crashing thing. That’s all you, America. But you know what else deregulation paves the way for? COBRA!
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Calling ICE on every vaguely ethnic G.I. Joe. A man has to have hobbies.
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Part of my unstoppable sexual charisma is simultaneously dressing for The Ladies, The Male Gaze and The Male Gays. Menswear Guy will say this tailoring is too tight, but my body count says otherwise.
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If I’ve learned anything from George R. R. Martin it’s this: never finish what you started.
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The “Fighting Irish” is the most redundant team name in American sports.
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“Commander, it’s Jones, sir...yes, that Jones. Yes, I still work here, sir. Cobra never had any DEI policies. Listen, sir, I had trouble finding the MLK quotes you were looking for. The ones that sound progressive but also support the new American oligarchy. I’ll keep at it…”
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They banned me from the inauguration because my fit was too good. I’d make America horny again.
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If I stopped drinking would you let me run the Pentagon? I have ideas, you know.
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