“NO NUT NOVEMBER BRO HAHA, I ALREADY LOST!!! I CAN’T KEEP MY HAND OFF MY DICK BROOOOOO SAME JOKE FOR FIVE YEARS AND I LOSE EVERYTIME!!!!! I LOVE PRON HAHAHAHA”
“HOLY SHIT HOW DO THE CHINESE HAVE OUR POSITION!!”
“Ey gringo, bad timez buh do yuos hav a… ¿como se dice?…charger holmes, dis guverment phones dead n I’m tryin to send mi familia usdees”
“Oh fuuuuuuuuckkkkkkk” dies*
“Sorry pal, my ASIAN wife is learning how to drive. She’s still getting the hang of not slamming on the breaks”
“…”
“You know, it’s a funny story how I met her. So I was browsing the libertarian subreddit when…”
“Don’t put that gem in your liked tweets, sir, don’t put it in there or else it’ll get mixed in with the others and become just another tweet…which it is…
“Ex-excuse me, I’ve never cold approached before but I thought you looked nice and-“
The Soros funded undercover longhouse agents disguised as Starbucks baristas:
This gave me goosebumps.
“My 18-year-old daughter was at Starbucks, alone, the other night.
A man came up to her and started talking to her.
A barista handed her “an extra hot chocolate someone forgot to pick up.”
How grateful I am for people who look out for other
“I had 3 years of my life stolen by libtards”
“We only asked you to be locked away, be fearful of everything in some of the most important years of your life, and to take experimental medicine!? Why are you so mad that we only asked you to be a decent person??
“I am ruined”
“I’ve never talked to a girl and my school is full of Mexicans”
“Oh yeah…? Well you try not having a job outta highschool in 1981! Then you’ll learn life ain’t so easy cupcake.”
“Working is like the Holocaust”
“Wha…did you just compare a job to 6 millio-“
“Going into the office in my 2007 Jeep Cherokee is like getting off the cattle car at Auschwitz.”
“…”
“Ok so they shot a few hundred people…but seriously you guys are going to make this man break his fast on RAMADAN!? I mean that’s just straight up bigoted.”
Thinking about 2012 when my Dad looked at me like this before telling me to stop listening to the Gangnam Style song because the Korean lyrics were anti-American…
>you let your daughter date a “person” named Croney Monk (only the second most concerning characteristic)
>he morders your daughter (and himself thankfully)
>his family makes a gofundme and calls him an angel
“Listen son, this house has been in our family for three generations and was my childhood home. I know you have fond memories here with your grandparents but I’ve decided to sell to this lesbian couple and their dog for 20% over asking price. I’ve had my eye on a new bass boat”
“BROOOOO GNOMES ARE REAL AND THEY CONTROL THE GOOBERMENT”
“The giants are back, they are in control”
“Haha good one bro, schizo posting is fun”
“Fetterman is the tip of the spear, soon we will be toiling the fields under the brute’s unforgiving club”
“Donald Trump is president and my libtard gf left me, it’s over…guess I’ll ki-“
“Mr. Bourdain wait…I’m from the year 2023, the New York street food scene has become fantastic. The brownest third worlders you’ve ever seen are cooking pigs and pigeons on the sidewalk.”
Long Island // New Jersey Italians are more racist than any Hitler-posting schizo could ever aspire to. He’s been dropping hard R’s since before he found out about hair gel. Few understand this.
My diet?
Carnivore
My milk?
Raw
My balls?
Sunned
My honey?
Local
My seed oils?
Eliminated
My family?
Traditional
My philosophy?
Stoic
My vitamins?
$71.99 a bottle
My Brother of the Light?
Solbrah
So in other words … As usual he was never her friend. He was just another guy who believes all relationships with women are transactional with sex being the only valuable currency women have.
“Huh, where am I? Trumonk!?”
“Hello George, you just went through a fantastic Samsara. You even leveled up to mixed race, maybe next cycle you can be white”
“And like that, the hand of fate chooses me.” Dies*
“Excuse me, but are you John Winthrop? I remember him being a talking animal but I don’t remember what kind.”
“…”
“Classic Winthropian line, I knew it was you!”
Two mudslimes proclaiming the inferiority of Europe and the white man while both living in Europe and wanting to be near the white men, natural slave peoples.
“So how did you finally get that interview anyway, you’ve been applying for months?”
“We’ll I uh…checked black as my race this time…”
“George you didn-“
“They’re always getting jobs for being “oppressed”, I started balding at 23! I’m oppressed.”
“This guy just shit his pants. I’m serious. I can smell it over here, I heard it.”
“A co-co-councilel of black women, said, president trump was the worst once an-
“Seriously, Tapper I can see it leaking onto the carpet from here”