Christopher Perkins
@ChrisPerkinsDnD
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D&D unicorn. I work for Wizards of the Coast. My familiar is a chiweenie named Milo. My views are my own. Have a magical day! #wotcstaff
Seattle, WA
Joined August 2014
I’m not leaving the Upside Down, but I’ve just joined the Rightside Up: 🦋 Follow me on Bluesky if you dare!.
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cool let’s eat them.
Analysis: The 1% are much more satisfied with their lives than everyone else, survey finds
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If you like Curse of Strahd, I think you’re going to love the thing I’m currently working on for 2020. #wotcstaff.
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If Sir Pat can read Shakespeare, I can read the DMG. Let’s see if this works. #DnDRnR #wotcstaff
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2017 has been D&D’s most successful year in the 20 years I’ve been with Wizards. Our team is great, and our fans are the best! Thank you all for the incredible support. Everyone gains a level. ✨ #WOTCstaff #worldsgreatestRPG.
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@ChuckWendig Keanu Reeves and I sat across from each other in an otherwise empty train station for about an hour before our train finally arrived. We said nothing the whole time. As we both got on the train, he said, “Nice chatting with you.”.
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And now, a message from Shale. #CriticalRole @samriegel @LauraBaileyVO @executivegoth @VoiceOfOBrien @TheVulcanSalute @WillingBlam @Marisha_Ray @matthewmercer @BrianWFoster
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A D&D campaign for levels 1-20. Waterdeep, Skullport, and twenty-three levels of Undermountain, each level more wild than the last. Halaster is waiting for you. #wotcstaff
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A little bit of content from Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden—when you absolutely, positively got to kill every mo**erfu**ker in the room. #dnd #wotcstaff
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One year ago, Spurt the Kobold Inventor had the fortune (misfortune?) of crossing paths with #themightynein before making his way into our hearts forever. Remember Spurt! #RIPSpurt #critters .
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My phone is exploding with leap year birthday wishes. Thank you all from the bottom of my withered, black heart. 😚.
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Got a speeding ticket yesterday. The officer who pulled me over asked why I was going 16 mph over the limit. I replied, “I FEEL THE NEED. THE NEED FOR SPEED!” Then I went for the high-five, and he scowled and left me hanging. Long story short, I’m old.
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Baldur’s Gate: Descent into Avernus—a cautionary tale about the hazards of global warming. Covers illustrated by Tyler Jacobson and Hydro74. #wotcstaff #dnd
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In 2020, I’m going to learn how to shapechange into a crow. Failing that, I plan to play more D&D, take more vacations, and do whatever I can to make the world a better place.
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If you shout “Happy Halloween!” on July 3rd in a normal workplace, coworkers look at you like you’re having a mild stroke. In the D&D area at Wizards, half a dozen people shout “Happy Halloween!” back at you. That’s joy you can’t buy. #wotcstaff.
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Thank you, @matthewmercer, for letting me bring one of your kobold NPCs to life, even if that life was blissfully short. I think there’s a little Spurt in (on?) all of us. Wouldn’t you agree, @idlechampions? #wotcstaff #CriticalRole #RIPSpurt #dnd
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Milo here. Replace all human statues with dog statues.
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I gave up my Canadian citizenship to become an American citizen because I believed, with all my heart, that this country, at its best, can make the world safer and better for everyone, despite its many flaws. That idealism got refreshed today.
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::throws out manuscript::.::starts over::. iT wAs ThE bEsT oF sTrAhD, iT wAs ThE cUrSe Of StRaHd. .
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Spells on the Dungeon Master’s spell list include: conceal die roll, extra monster, grant inspiration, and hand wave. #dnd #wotcstaff.
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Yeah, we’re gonna fix that. #wotcstaff.
I hate that Ezmeralda is the only explicitly disabled NPC in Curse of Strahd and they made her cover up her disability like it's some shameful fucking thing, rendering the art of her meaningless. Hire disabled sensitivity readers and writers Wizards of the Coast. No excuses. #dnd
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Wafflecrew: “We have 50,000 gp! We can build the house and pastry shop of our dreams!”. Me:
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Congratulations to @LauraBaileyVO and @WillingBlam on the birth of their first bouncing baby bugbear! If you need bugbear names, you know who to call.
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Fuckin my screen now, bitch.
I want everybody to know that @ChrisPerkinsDnD stole my DM screen after #WafflesInc. That’s how hard this motherfucker is.
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ROSES ARE RED.VIOLETS ARE SMALL . .
I JUST GOT IMPEACHED FOR MAKING A PERFECT PHONE CALL!.
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What happens when a wizard attaches her brain to a helmless horror? Weird things abound in Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden. Illustration by @dsladek1 (AD: Kate Irwin). #dnd #wotcstaff
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Roses are red.MAGA’s a turd.Vote out Trump on . .
NOVEMBER 3RD.
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Adventure is a dish best served cold. Just announced: our next campaign, Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden. #wotcstaff #dnd
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Do bugbears have balls? Why, yes they do. Big nutz. Testicles that would terrify Frodo Teabaggins. Next question. #wotcstaff.
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This is a great example of hidden storytelling: Miles Morales was animated at a different frame rate than Peter Parker to get across the idea that Miles is still learning how to be Spider-Man. Genius! #wotcstaff.
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Hey fam! I’m refreshing my list of freelance writers. If you know 5E well and would like to work with me on a D&D product in the not-too-distant future, plz reply to this tweet with the name of the last publicly known TRPG project you contributed to. #wotcstaff.
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Failed another Constitution check.
President Trump claims he can defy the US Constitution and end birthright citizenship
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Milo endorses this product, available on 10/20/2020. Check out the @IGN unboxing video. #dnd #wotcstaff
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There’s an 11-year-old boy on my street who loves to ride his bicycle. I’ve known him since he was in preschool. He’s growing like a weed. He’ll be a young man in a few years, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to him. He matters to me. #BlackLivesMatter.
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I will *never* be sad that I voted for @ewarren. However, I *am* sad that America still isn’t ready for a smart woman to serve as its president.
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I don’t know who needs to hear this, but BLACK MEN DON’T HANG THEMSELVES FROM TREES. This is domestic terrorism, and we know damn well who’s behind it.
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Trump spent months telling his base not to vote by mail. As mail-in votes get counted and skew heavily in favor of Biden, remember that.
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@ChrisEvans @RickandMorty If you’d like to try the @RickandMorty role-playing game, we’d love to run it for you. #wotcstaff
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“Kill a Character Day” could be a thing. We could make it an annual thing or a weekly thing. Tuesdays work best for me. @mattcolville @VoiceOfOBrien #wotcstaff.
Obviously we need to kill more PCs and keep killin' 'em until these motherfuckers settle down.
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I owned my first car at age 24. I landed my dream job at age 29. I think it’s okay to be 25 and still sorting things out. I think it’s okay to be 50 and still sorting things out.
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Today is #WorldMentalHealthDay. Take a friend to lunch or give yourself a present, be it a hot cup of tea or coffee, a bike ride, or an hour with a good book. Be kind to yourself.
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Can you imagine a D&D adventure happening here? If so, you might be a Dungeon Master! #wotcstaff.
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If you wanna piece of Matt, you gotta get through me, and I’ll just hug you ‘cause that’s what Matt would do. #wotcstaff.
I appreciate the support, and judging by the conversation, a number of people suddenly hate me. That’s fine. I’ll weather the slings and arrows. Ours is a story of heroism and hope in a dark world. A story many of us need. One that turns in unexpected ways, and one I believe in.
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Trumpists are red.Their bubble went ‘pop’.At the Four Seasons, they said.By the old dildo shop.
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Take 20d6 psychic damage. lol.
Describe your twitter account in five words or fewer.
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Everyone who voted for this tater tot owes the rest of the world an apology.
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Yesterday, I had to walk through a large 🕸 to exit my house. When Milo & I returned 15 minutes later, the web was gone. The 🕷 had taken the whole thing down. This morning the 🕸 was back, but repositioned so that I could avoid it.
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This Xmas, I will once again be flying to your home on the back of a big ol’ red dragon, creeping down your chimney in gaseous form, filling your Xmas stocking with dice, and stealing your old edition D&D books. It’s exhausting work, but one of us has to do it.
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Stimulus $$$ and back pay. Student debt relief. Voting Rights Act. Marijuana legalization. New statehoods. Paris Agreement. Supreme Court. Abolish ICE. Dreamers. Families reunited. AG Sally Yates. Democrats have no time to waste. Oh, and give Stacey Abrams whatever she wants.
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I will have thoughts to share about DCA at some point, but for now I’ll just say how much I love the whole DCA cast, in particular @AnnaProsser @NateWantsToBtl @ProJared @HollyConrad. We are a family, and their happiness matters to me. #wotcstaff.
@ChrisPerkinsDnD @AnnaProsser @NateWantsToBtl @MicaBurton @Shadypenguinn We are excited for you to experience the new show, but that means #DiceCameraAction will not be returning. We congratulate the cast on 141 episodes of wonderful storytelling.
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The majority of Americans voted for a woman president in 2016. Next question. 🙄.
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Every new D&D game session is a chance to weave a narrative that your fellow players will remember for the rest of their lives. #wotcstaff.
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I try to surround myself with people who are intelligent, creative, funny, brave, and kind. If I follow you on Twitter, it’s because I think you’re all of these things. I find new folks to follow every day, and I’m always on the lookout for more. #wotcstaff.
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I would throw myself on a grenade to protect @BrianWFoster. I’m not joking. The world needs him (and more people like him).
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Here’s one of the many fantastic illustrations in Icewind Dale: Rime of the Frostmaiden: the Ring of Warmth by @claudiopozas (AD: Kate Irwin). #wotcstaff
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I have an idea for a really dumb heist adventure.
New in NYC: A cube made from $11.7 million worth of solid gold is sitting in Central Park—and has its own security detail:
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Whenever I tweet about Trump, there are always two self-styled MAGA Sith Lords (a different two every time) who try to argue with me in bad faith. They have no idea it’s a trap. I’m not here for a debate. I’m just waiting in the tall grass to block them. It gives me such joy.
~7,000,000 cases and 200,000 dead in the U.S. and counting. This is an egregious and unforgivable abuse of power.
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Nearly everyone I meet on Twitter is wonderful. However, let it be known: if you’re rude to me or someone I care about, I will block you. No warning. No second chances. You’ll be cut off. Forever. #wotcstaff #dnd.
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You peer through a mouse hole and knock on a tiny door. A gray mouse wearing a wizard’s cap opens the door, waves a tiny wand, shrinks you down to size, and ushers you into a realm of wonder, friendship, and make-believe. #DnDgate
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Having trouble naming your next D&D villain? No prob. Villain’s first name = the street you grew up on. Villain’s last name = your worst teacher’s last name. #wotcstaff.
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I will never look at crab grass quite the same way, now that I know @matthewmercer has a voice for it. #CriticalRole #wotcstaff.
Tonight’s #CriticalRole begins in about an hour!. The Mighty Nein prepare for their journey to the icy, mysterious north known as Eiselcross, but must now deal with the sudden reveal of a more personal mystery. join us!.
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We’re all mortal. It’s what we create that makes us immortal.
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If you get hired as Wizards’ newest D&D game designer and your name is “Chris” or “Kate,” a new name will be assigned to you. We can’t have more than two people with the same name in a department so small without making the non-Chrises and non-Kates nervous. #wotcstaff.
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I typed the word Coctober and now I can’t stop laughing. Plz halp.
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Every day, but especially today, I am grateful that Trump is not president.
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Not sure anyone cares, but it takes me about 24 hours to write art descriptions for a 224-page D&D book. It’s a fun assignment, but the best part is seeing what the illustrators do with them. #wotcstaff.
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“OMG. Chris Perkins followed me!”.“Really?! I loved him as Captain Kirk.”.“No, Chris Perkins.”.“Starlord?!”.“The Dungeons & Dragons guy.”.“Thor?”.“No.”.“Oh, him. Yeah, he’s no Captain America.”.
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It’s been months since I’ve been able to watch @CriticalRole as it airs. I’m all caught up and ridiculously excited. #wotcstaff.
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Dogs are returning to the White House, which is all I really care about.
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#BetweenTheSheets with @BrianWFoster returns tonight for a one-on-one with the Dungeons & Dragons loremaster himself: special guest @ChrisPerkinsDnD!. Catch the interview at 7pm Pacific on
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‘Tis the season for #CurseofStrahd, a D&D adventure which reminds us that evil government doesn’t die on its own. You have to kick down the door and drive a stake through its heart. #wotcstaff
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Me: “Today, Adobe gave me an honorary degree in Photoshop!”. Everyone: “That’s a pillow, not a . ”. Me: “MY HONORARY DEGREE IN PHOTOSHOP!”
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Given our current technology, males are no longer necessary for the continuation of the human species. I mention this for no reason whatsoever.
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Kill it. Kill it now!.
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I’ve been a Wizard now for 25 years. Still haven’t learned the Time Stop spell, but I’m working on it. #wotcstaff.
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With October looming, now is a good time to remind everyone that you can run a pretty sweet one-night D&D adventure in which 1st-level characters wake up naked in Castle Ravenloft. #wotcstaff.
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One folder contains every rejection letter I received. The other folder contains every publishing contract I’ve signed. #ShareYourRejection
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There now exists a complete first draft of the next big D&D 5E adventure. Things will change in the coming months, but it’s all there and it’s great. #wotcstaff.
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