Chris Eigeman
@ChrisEigeman
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Actor writer director person. RTs pretty much are endorsements unless they are so obviously horrible.
Brooklyn, NY
Joined November 2012
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This could be long. In '76 I was 11 and part of a school trip to China. Like 20-30 kids and some teachers. It was a kind of big deal b/c we were one of the 1st non Diplomatic groups to go since the Cultural Revolution ended. And it was insane and fantastic.
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In a radical reimagining, the Academy has found its ’22 Oscar host.
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My very younger, very over dressed self, is here to spread joy. Also with a very green hat.
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This makes "Just Say No" seem both muscular and poetic by comparison.
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Aw shit. RIP Charles Grodin. You were the master.
Watch all of his movies.
Read all of his books.
Watch all of his movies again.
Then watch all of his Carson and Letterman appearances.
Shit.
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Rakish hat angle + finger tent + tree = Holiday Cheer!
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I know there are larger issues out there - but people who send holiday cards covered in glitter are really the most passive aggressive bastards.
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...and now as a parent, even more true.
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I walked into a room - saw this - and audibly gasped. I can't conceive of the mind that would make this.
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Things are obviously awful right now, but take a moment to listen to
@rosannecash
's Crawl Into The Promised Land for some hope and courage. One of the great markers of this time will be the art that comes out of it.
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This is very much a minority opinion, but sincerely appreciated.
Jason Stiles on Gilmore Girls was the hottest character on the entire show
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I think everyone in that film did better than all of us on this site will.
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The fake crowd noise put on the NFL always reminds me of 20 yrs ago when CBS put fake birdsongs on the Masters and got busted by a bunch of ornithologists golfers.
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Beautiful.
Today someone sent me hate email in all caps so I told him that I had a disorder where I couldn't read capital letters and he retyped the whole thing in lowercase.
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Look, you know who’s calling. It’s there on the screen. There’s no reason to say “Hello” all you’re doing is starting the call w bad acting.
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Took my 11yr old to Paper Moon today and when 9yr old Tatum O'Neal put a cigarette in her mouth he basically exploded.
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And he's not really looking at me as much as he's looking at my suit. And then he asks - "How long are you staying in NYC?" and say till tomorrow and he says "Oh. Because we're almost the same size and if you were around any longer I could loan you some better clothes".
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One Perfect Shot.
Dogs waiting to enter the hospital rooms of sick children for animal therapy time.
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He clearly meant it as a joke - it's a very on brand Rat Pack joke, but I was 11 and already a bit freaked out about this tv thing and so he quickly reassured me that I looked ok and I'd do fine on TV.
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I do not need a Game Stop explainer; I closely watched TRADING PLACES in'83 and have a hammer lock on the shorting of orange juice futures.
@ChrisEigeman
Stewart’s movie will most definitely be more faithful to my book than later year’s version. :) Even without the S.
@JackPendarvis
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There is now crying in baseball.
Oh, this is sad. RIP Penny Marshall. A tenacious director of some big hits who fought for her place in the industry. And forever Laverne.
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We now have to kidnap Samantha Morton the PreCog, avoid Max von Sydow, and the system will collapse on itself.
White House: Deportations will "prevent crime before it happens."
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and Nordstrom's stock continues to rise. Now at $43.11 per share. Satisfying.
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Being blocked by Trump is like Verification on steroids.
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On the subway platform. Only a few pages to go. I just hope she isn't reading it as a *How To* book.
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That "nonplussed" really means surprised and confused, but thru brute force it now means its own opposite and that is horsesh*t!
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As a kid, my grandfather, John Sullivan, would sneak into the parking lot of KKK rallies (in Colorado!), and pour bags of sugar into each car's gas tank.
Please tell me one fascinating thing about one of your grandparents.
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I have always wanted a Murphy Bed. Wife dead set against it. For years I've pitched it. Always to a hard no. Then
@jodyrosen
writes this, and we are "In Discussion"
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@emilynussbaum
There is really only 1 answer - Galaxy Quest. Even if you've seen it 10 times already.
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Our hood's Rite Of Spring: The open window, closed street, piano recital - after a lost year.
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Ok, that's very good
@MetrographNYC
a double feature of Metropolitan and Midnight Cowboy. That's really really good.
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Behind me on Amtrak:
"I want to catch up on stuff I haven't read this summer. Like Dickens."
"Which one?"
"The one about the kid."
"Great Expectations?"
"No no. The other kid. The magician kid."
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Sincere thanks Jake. A very nice thing to hear in these rather trying times. And of course, keep on with the great, and ever increasingly important work!
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Hey
#SNAKETWITTWER
This guy (guy? I have no idea) seems to be living in my basement. Wife took the pic. Now nowhere to be found. Couple of thoughts:
My Boy is thrilled.
My Wife is filling out divorce papers.
I'm supposed to find/ catch it.
Thoughts?
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My 14 yr old is going as Hunter S Thompson. Possible parenting fail.
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Blade Runner w the kid:
"So. Replicants are like Impossible Burgers but alive?"
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When my wife is boiling eggs to eat later, she puts them back in the carton w the fresh ones, and writes "John Woo" on the cooked ones. Inspired.
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Amazing.
"Metropolitan: The Musical?" Collaborators Matt Rose (composer) & James Feinberg (lyricist) tried out a song - "Nick's Farewell" - at their Studio 54 Cabaret concert in July.
@MrJamesFeinberg
says final lyrics will be less
#UHB
explicit.
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Peter O'Toole, enthusiastically not sober.
Aside from Morgan Freeman, if you could choose someone to narrate your life, who would it be?
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I got in the limo (!!!) and sure enough a few blocks later it stops and the door opens and someone gets in and I look at the floor. But I can feel this person is looking at me. Really looking. So I look up and sitting there is Sammy Davis Jr.
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At 1st blush - absolutely a bad idea, but then reading the little pitch, pretty good!
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I mean, I guess you could try and find some other interpretation, but the most obvious is probably the truest: She means exactly what the jacket says.
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After the trip I went home to Denver and then off to camp in MN when Good Morning America called my mom and asked if I'd like to be a guest on the show and talk about the trip. She said ok and sent me a ticket to get from MN to NYC (on my own, because it was the 70's).
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Caligula. Keep Helen Mirren.
@FilmCritHULK
You can replace the cast of any movie with The Muppets, but you keep one of the human actors. What movie and which human do you keep?
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Late to it, but I loved DRIVE MY CAR. (Also, glad they skipped the alternate title - MY SAAB STORY).
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I swear to god, I'll drink my own urine if he has any idea who he's speaking about.
Trump: “Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody who's done an amazing job & is being recognized more & more I notice” (he died in 1895)
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If you could require the president to read one book, what would it be?
"It would depend on who’s reading it to him".
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Thank you! (Though my family often finds the wit…exhausting).
Random note: it’s so good to see
@ChrisEigeman
in both
@MaiselTV
as Abe’s boss at the Village Voice and this week’s
@SHO_Billions
— he excels at dry wit.
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After shoveling stoop & walk, went down the block to shovel elderly neighbor's. Soon 4 neighbors doing the same it was our barn raising.
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True Story: in Metro when a passel of us were walking out of the Plaza (w no permission) and the camera was across the street & rolling, a guy came up and tried to sell us watches - and I said "Hey, we're making a movie here" and then carried on.
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OKAY! That's Done! Next up - we get a pack of beautiful wild animals to hunt, kill, and eat Don Jr.
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Some of the best advice I've ever received is "Don't just do something. Stand there".
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Boy and I spent the afternoon building this to commemorate week 10 of shut in.
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I really wasn't sure and she looked down at me and saw the beginnings of a very bad NY Post headline and graciously offered to take me in her cab. The next morning I put on my suit and went to the lobby b/c I was told a car would pick me up. But there seemed to be a mix up.
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Yeah, let's get the guy who made us all change "small" "medium" and "large" into other words and convinced people to drink a frothy super sweet dessert for bkfst and let's make him president.
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Eventually they said ABC was sending a limo (!!!) - BUT it would be making 1 other stop and I was not to speak or really even look at the person who would be getting in (now, I was already a little worked up about going on TV in like 45 minutes and this did nothing to calm me).
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Every. Single. Day. He finds yet a new way to debase the Office. Every. Single. Day.
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A very fun way to end the year. Thanks for the invitation Peter.
He may be the master of "Exquisite Bullshit," but on
@FilmmakerMag
's BACK TO ONE podcast,
@ChrisEigeman
gives us the straight dope on the acting craft he's been immersed in for 30 years. LOTS to glean! Happy Orgy Week! Listen wherever you get your podcasts
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RIP Lina Wertmuller. My mom took my little sister and me to Swept Away the week it opened. (She was confused) (I was thrilled).
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I misread the Kristen Stewart SPENCER news as a remake of "Spenser: For Hire" and was very excited. I'm sure the princess movie will be good too though.
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Watching Trump read a tele-promter is like watching a drunk wandering in traffic. And rooting for traffic.
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Well, yeah. But that's because he thought "Poetic Cadence" was a stripper
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NYC food shoppers - we're going to have a 1-2 day blizzard. 1-2 days. It is not the Siege of Leningrad. Put down the cases of soup.
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In the same week:
Bezos "I have so many extra billions I'm going to space!!"
Also, "Prime is going up $20."
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Kid: can we do after dinner dance party?!
Me: Yes! Who do u want?
Kid: Gorilla Voice Man! Gorilla Voice Man!
Me: OK! Yes!
(Tom Waits)
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8yr old “When ur putting the sperm in a woman you shld make a funny face so the baby comes out making a funny face”. He’s not entirely wrong
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Holy Hell! I'm pretty sure my 1st merch! Thanks CSCS
#mayyousellmillions
One of Center Street Cinema Society’s favorites,
@ChrisEigeman
, forever honored on our first piece of official merch. Thank you for all the wonderful performances and the many more to come!
#MaxBelmontWhoDoesNothing
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Every year the piano teacher on our block opens the windows & the kids give a recital & there is nothing damn better
http://t.co/PGFxJ5DZ2D
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I adore Laura Linney beyond all measure, but after watching her rampaging arc on this season's OZARK and then introing PBS' ALL CREATURES GREAT AND SMALL, I...I now fear for all of the creatures.
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Here for the long game.
So
@ChrisEigeman
retweeted me and I realized it's been 30 years since I went on the radio and named METROPOLITAN one of the Ten Best of the year.
#old
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We have slipped our moorings and are adrift.
DACA recipient died trying to rescue others in Texas. His mother was denied humanitarian visa to bury her son.
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Trump’s greatest fear- protester w bucket of water. That hair gets wet his vanity makes him shrivel like the witch in oz or a leech in salt.
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.
@Criterion
A million thnks 4 inviting me 2 explore ur dvd library/closet. I thought it was a place only in legends. but it's real & amazing
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Wait, Omarosa is a real person?! I thought it was some internet meme I wasn't paying attention to.
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In my experience, the drinking here is key.
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NO!
Man, he was a true inspiration and the times I met him he was both kind and hilarious. The world got darker.
Norm Macdonald, Comedian and ‘Saturday Night Live’ Star, Dies at 61
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She also sent my 1 suit to the hotel in ny. The suit was light blue and corduroy (70's). On the plane the lady sitting next to me asked why I was going to NY and I told her and she asked how I was getting to the hotel from the airport and I said
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Maybe I’m just lucky or something but I have never heard of an Apology Dinner. It seems agonizing.
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