Chloe Condon
@ChloeCondon
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Developer Advocate @Google โ๏ธ & recovering musical theatre girl ๐ฉโ๐ป๐ญ๐ถ prev: @Microsoft ๐ Former child, current meme sommelier โจ๐ผ๏ธ
Oakland, CA
Joined June 2009
Me after I hit the "End Meeting" button and return back to my true form
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"Do you have a minute to hop on a video chat?". Me, in work from home goblin mode:
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TECH CONFERENCE PRO-TIP ๐ข:. Never ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.ever.walk up to two women at a booth and open the conversation with. "so- HR or recruiting?". It's 2019, do better my dudes. ๐๐.
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When entry level positions require extensive prior experience:
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๐ก๐ "It looks like you're trying to accessorize. would you like help?" ๐๐ญ
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If u ever receive a package from someone with ADHD, just know that the item stared at them from days/weeks/months in a hallway/on a desk/table/kitchen island, it took an immense amount of emotional strength to make the shipping label, and they must care for u a lot ๐ฅบ๐ฆ๐๐.
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Shout-out to everyone on-call, but still trying to have a "normal" weekend:
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Wow. I've been harassed online before, but @teemedlin- I have no idea who you are, nor was I at a conference/meet-up/event w/ you 4 days ago. Lying about this is next level- also, ++ photo is from my @NewCo article I published years ago/from a conference 3 years ago. Get a life.
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Ain't no weekend like an ADHD weekend, cuz an ADHD weekend won't feel "good" unless you operate at peak productivity due to unrelenting personal standards ๐ฅณ๐ณโฐ๏ธ.
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Me, 22, @ a Silicon Vally party ๐ง๐ผ: Wow! These people are so PASSIONATE about tech! & they're so FIT! Just look at them exercise at this party! Wow! Their enthusiasm & energy is contagious!. Me, now, at age 28, remembering this ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ: Coke. Those people were ๐ฏ% on coke.
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We are overdue for a reverse gender "My Fair Lady" where a software engineer bets she can teach *anyone* to code, and is tasked with making an SF man selling unlicensed Warriors gear on Powell street into a developer at Google. ๐ถ๐ฉ๐ผโ๐ป And yes, it's a musical.
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Booth recruiter ๐ง: . and we really value diversity!. Me ๐ง๐ผ: Do you have any women's sized shirts?. ๐ง: Unfortunately no, they're too expensive. ๐ง๐ผ: Yeah, so am I. ๐
๐คโฌ๏ธ.
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Helping a friend negotiate their salary and was reminded of the time I had an offer pulled earlier in my career for attempting to negotiate + asking for an extra day to compare offers. If this ever happens to you- RUN! Huge red flag ๐
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Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didnโt stop to think if they should
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What do we want? ๐ข.OUTLETS IN OUR HOTEL ROOMS TO CHARGE OUR PHONES!. Where do we want them? ๐ข.LITERALLY ANYWHERE DUDE, LIKE WHY AM I HAVING TO UNPLUG A LAMP FOR THIS? I CANNOT SEE THE ACTUAL PLUG SOCKET NOW. ๐๐.
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Love to catch up with old friends!! โค๏ธ It's so beautiful how technology connects us all!!! ๐๐
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Ok AI is cool and fun, but could we just take a step back and prioritize making printers work?.
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I like my coffee like I like my browser tabs:. An excessive amount to the point where it causes me mild anxiety โ ๐ฌ.
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This "offend a programmer with 1 tweet" trend is a big LOL to me. As a visible woman in tech, I offend some programmers by simply existing ๐.
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My great great grandmother helping us land on the moon in 1969 โค๏ธ
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her
what is the funniest beef of all time.
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I'm going to be working at @coinbase starting in the new year as a sr dev relations engineer in January ๐ฅณ I've been learning a bunch about blockchain + web3 and I'm really excited to educate folks on how I think this space will change the way we think about the web โจ๐.
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"Are you here at the conference with your husband?". ๐๐ฝ "Nope, I'm keynoting".
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My best career advice is to work with nice people who want you to succeed. ๐โจ๐ฃ๐คธโโ๏ธ๐.
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"Could I please speak to the technical person on your team?". the engineers:
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Boy, are you a ZIP file? Cuz there's A LOT to unpack here.
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Taking a sick day with ADHD is hard ๐ง Your body is like "girl, stop", but your brain is like ". but think of all the things you could catch up on!" ๐.
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My dad is 75 + not great at technology. To make things easier, I refer to WiFi as "the pizza slice icon by the battery icon". Yesterday while debugging why his phone was slow he said,. "well, it looks like I have a strong pizza slice so that can't be it. " ๐ค๐. Baby steps! ๐
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Happy 4 year anniversary to this pic at one of my 1st tech conferences ๐๐
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"Wow! Your @MicrosoftTeams background is amazing!! Can you send me the link?". uuuuuuh ๐ฆ๐ฆโจ๐ธ๐๏ธ ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
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Those 2 guys on the cruise ship who bond at karaoke night after singing "The Confrontation" from Les Mis together, and have now become inseparable for the rest of the voyage.
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Early in my career, I was given the feedback "just be careful there aren't too many women at your meetup- we don't want it to be too homogeneous", and I think about the absurdity of that statement every fucking day.
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Hire ๐ folks ๐ with ๐ non ๐ traditional ๐ paths๐ to ๐ tech ๐. โโโ๐ฏ.
@ChloeCondon We once hired a former barista in our #DevOps team. Our dept always had epic coffee. โ๏ธ.
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When he owns/runs a vineyard and is very charming, but you find out later he willingly separated his twin daughters (that he had with a woman he married on a boat, whom he barely knew) at birth ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
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Just wanted to say real quick:. 5 years ago I was a very lonely/sad office manager who cried in the bathroom at work daily. It felt like I was invisible + that I provided no value. It means the world to me that so many of you follow me on here and care about what I say โค๏ธ๐ญ.
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When u fix a typo in an open source project:.
The wildlife I, luckily, didn't meet ๐. Fixing road cones ๐จ๐ฆ๐ป
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Girls don't want a Sex and the City reboot, they want a Golden Girls origin story.
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In 2015, I heard a talk at @Google that inspired me to learn to code. I was working as an office manager/executive assistant, and with some encouragement from my new bf @tsmith, I started learning online and applied to @Hackbright. Many many rejections, jobs, and years later:
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For the month of October, plz don't say you have "bugs" in your code, instead say "my code is haunted", thanks!!!! ๐ป๐๏ธ๐๐ฆ๐ฆด๐ฉ๐ผโ๐ป๐ป๐ฎ๐พ.
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Lord, grant me the confidence of a man in tech tweeting out sexist hot takes with their employer in their bio ๐.
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Some of you have never had to schedule dedicated time each month in your calendar to remove all the "nice boobs"/"she's cute"/"can she actually code?"/"get back in the kitchen" comments from your technical videos on YouTube, and honestly? It shows.
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Night fam. Forever mood after this haunting journey through the Oregon Trail of the internet:
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Went on Facebook for the first time in 3 years, and everyone was either pregnant, in a pyramid scheme, or became a real estate agent.
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"I scheduled a meeting for us at 9am".
Offend a programmer with a single tweet.
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Hello! ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ Unless it's super obvious/it is explicitly tagged, please do not call out locations in women's photos publicly! It's v cool that you recognize where we are, but it can often be a safety issue. And PLEASE do not show up!! This is why I post pics days, if not weeks later.
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Helpful song I wrote to send to my friends who have "app ideas":. [sung to the tune of NO SCRUBS]:. ๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ.๐
๐ผโโ๏ธNO I won't build ur app.๐
๐ผโโ๏ธNO I don't have the "extra time".๐
๐ผโโ๏ธNO I doubt u can afford me.๐
๐ผโโ๏ธNO I don't have "another person in mind".๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ.
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Ended up being pretty busy this Halloween, so I politely asked my boyfriend to dress as "white man willingly giving angel investment money" to my Elizabeth Holmes for 5 mins to take this picture ๐ธ๐ธ๐ธ๐ฉธ
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All engineering interviews should include:. -A technical assessment. -32 bars of contemporary musical theatre song. -An emotional monologue about why I should hire you. -1 baked good that you made, judged on yum-factor. -And if you have a pet, you need to bring it for me to hold.
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Me when someone tells me that people without computer science degrees don't belong in tech:
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The girl who bullied me for having braces in 6th grade just reached out to me to ask for resources on how learn to code. 6th grade me, I assure you, would never believe this.
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๐๏ธ๐ฐ Breaking News: Either This Man Is Trash, or He Built a Time Machine And Alternate Universe Where I'd Be Social at a Happy Hour ๐ฐ๐๏ธ. Please, @teemedlin, explain yourself.
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I've been sending "Nope" to this guy since December 2018.
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Look, if you give out men's boxers at tech confs you could at least provide branded sports bras for all the running we will be doing to get TF away from your booth ๐๐ปโโ๏ธ๐๐ผโโ๏ธ๐๐พโโ๏ธ๐โโ๏ธ๐๐ฝโโ๏ธ.
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Me when I cancel a meeting last min: I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON AND FEEL BAD AHHHHHH. I AM SO SORRY. ๐ฐ. Me when someone else cancels a meeting last min: Please don't apologize- this is the best thing to ever happen to me ๐ฅฒ.
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I'd tell you a joke about tech, but I'm a woman on the interweb so the comments would be trash and dudes would take my sarcastic punchline as truth and argue it's validity to me ๐๏ธ๐ฎ๐ป๐
๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ.
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Also, if you want to go full circle on where this thread/photo all began ๐ณ๐ ๐: โWhat Itโs Like to Be a Woman at a Tech Conferenceโ
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but your hobbies don't have to be productive. You can just do things for fun. ๐.
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Really dislike this Twitter feature where whenever a woman posts an opinion a man comments immediately with a bad joke or counterpoint ๐ค.
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Deleting my Facebook today- been a long time coming, tbh.
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"Are you enjoying attending the conference with your husband?". To me, wearing a speaker badge. In the speaker lounge. Holding a laptop and wearing a shirt that says "I Look Like and Engineer" ๐๐๐ค.
Please give me an example of something someone said to you that was so astonishingly stupid that you can never forget it.
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omg y'all- Clippy challah by ig: thedorkyjewish ๐ฅฒ๐ฅโก๏ธ๐๐๐๐ฅฏ
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Don't settle for a relationship that's not secure, bb ๐๐
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If this happens to you- you dodged a bullet. Know your worth, and fight hard for it ๐ช.
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POPULAR OPINION:. Apps that force you to speak/chat to a customer service person to close/cancel your account should go to jail. ๐จ๐๐ฎ๐ฝโโ๏ธโ.
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My aunt hard at work creating the first GeoCities page ๐ค history is so beautiful.
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In 2016 I emailed @Stanford to see if they allowed bootcamp grads at a hackathon. Got a reply w/ "what's a bootcamp?" & my imposter syndrome took over so I never followed up ๐. Today I'm a judge at the Software Fair on behalf of @Microsoft ๐ฉ๐ผโ๐ป. Wish I could high five 2016 me ๐โ๏ธ
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Hey all- I have blocked him on Twitter since I'm very creeped out ๐ณ In the meantime, I'm wearing this appropriate sweatshirt today:
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Well, the Octocat is out of the bag: I'll be joining @Microsoft as a Senior Cloud Developer Advocate in early December! ๐ I'm so excited to be joining @TommyLee's team, and the amazing list of @azureadvocates around the ๐. Very VERY stoked to have @TheClippy as a coworker! ๐
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