Francesca Marina ♡
@Chescamarina
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Mental health nurse - Eating disorder Nurse & Trainee CBT therapist ❤️🩹 RARELY CHECK DM’S!! Chronic struggles but doing my best ✌️
South East, England
Joined July 2023
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Pinned Tweet
When people say, “stay strong” or “you are so strong”.
No, just surviving.
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@ItsEmilyKaty
So relatable. Executive dysfunction just weakens prioritisation abilities for me which can get overwhelming as you can end up trying to juggle lots of concurrent tasks. Working as a nurse really helps though is great, as it is consistently urgent and interesting.
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I was just in Lidl, and there was a couple laughing at a woman grabbing herself a couple of bakery goods, and saying ‘pig’ under their breath.
While they weren’t looking, I took their loo rolls and mayo out of their shopping trolley. It felt good, I’m not going to lie!!
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“Atypical anorexia nervosa” is 100% just as severe as anorexia. All symptoms are the same, except you will fall above a BMI of 18.5kg/m2. This, in turn, means many aren’t taken seriously, or even told to lose weight. 1/6
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What doesn’t kill you makes you:
1- not trust anyone again
2- live in a constant state of survival
3- question everything
4- hate yourself
No, it doesn’t make you stronger. What doesn’t kill you kills parts of you you’ll never get back.
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Being assessed by a mental health service is so exhausting. You’re literally talking about all your problems and history for over an hour to a complete stranger, in order to get help. I had previously underestimated how mentally and physically tiring they are.
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I feel that the mental health community on Twitter is actually more understanding, compassionate, and helpful, than some mental health services.
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Christmas scares me. The hype and build up just overwhelms me and the pressure to be festive and happy is just too much. What makes it worse is the sadness that you just can’t be ‘normal’.
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If you self-isolate a lot when overwhelmed, it could be because you had to solve a lot of your problems alone as a child, or you felt you weren’t taken seriously. 💔
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I go on holiday tomorrow for a week. I have never felt so tired in my life. Being a nurse and doing a postgraduate degree is taking its toll and I’m knackered. I’ve never said this before, but I deserve to look after me too 🫣.
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Isn’t it strange how your body does everything possible to keep you alive. Your mind, however, wants you to die?
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Having a fear or failure with ADHD is relentless. I can’t express how so much time and energy is lost with the never-ending fear of making the “wrong” decision, which would, in turn, mean a “fail.” It’s overwhelming living in ‘compensatory’ mode.
#ADHD
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It’s so weird when you’re given flowers when you’re recovering from a physical illness and lots of lovely ‘get well soon’ messages’.
With mental illness, people rarely do this. They just feel on edge and distance themselves further from you. Just a thought.
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Overexplaining yourself is an under-discussed trauma response that I feel needs more focus and normalising.
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Weight gain can be a sign that someone is actually taking better care of their health 🩷
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Do you ever just get so desperate for a break from your own body and mind?
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It’s not just the food that causes anxiety for someone with an eating disorder at Christmas. It’s also the change of routine, having family round, potential comments, triggers, having to pretend you’re okay, trying to fit in, and doing everything possible not to break down. 🎄❤️🩹
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Do you ever feel like you don’t belong on this planet? 🌍 🙃
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Things no one tells you about anxiety:
- It’s usually worse at night.
- Sometimes it makes us lash out and angry.
- It makes us do things we don’t intend on doing.
- Always feeling in the wrong and feeling guilty for NOTHING.
- It is unpredictable.
- It is exhausting 😴
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Being a mental health nurse and therapist while you chronically struggle with your own mental health is a very confusing place. This is mainly because you feel very reluctant to open up and you feel like you’re treading on egg shells because of the stigma.
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People trying to overcome their eating disorder really don’t get enough praise and acknowledgment. They’re facing their fears over and over and over again, several times a day. Please stop saying someone isn’t trying until you realise this!❤️🩹
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My ED wouldn’t let me have a nice cocktail, but I had one anyway. It was amazing. So worth it. 💕
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When someone says to you that you’re “not trying hard enough” to get well, what they don’t realise is “trying” sometimes ‘just’ means waking up and getting through the day despite having those relentless thoughts and internal bully.
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Friday study 📚 I absolutely am loving training as a CBT-E therapist 😊💜
I can’t wait to begin working with my patients next week, who have been kind enough to work with me as a trainee. As a trainee, I’m going to work so hard to help you recover ❤️🩹
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Headlines on ITV
@GMB
this morning…… David Walliams is suing a media company.
Next headline…. 100 people die in a fire at a wedding in Iraq.
That sums up what is wrong with Britain today, priorities are all wrong.
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You can have binge eating disorder and be underweight. You can have anorexia and be overweight. You can have any eating disorder and be any weight. Why? Because it’s not a weight disorder!!!
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Things aren’t good and I’m debating calling a crisis line that I preach about usually if any of my patients find themselves this way. For some reason, doing it as a mental health professional feels wrong. Why should I take up that persons time? Or using up a call?
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There is WAY too much pressure to have a lovely Christmas that just needs to stop. Everything from food, presents, family expectations. Just do your best and that’s it.
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Fluoxetine- the medication that keeps me well and enables me to function. Without it, I know I wouldn’t be a reliable and good mental health nurse. And no, I am not ashamed for needing to take MH medication as a MH nurse. I’m proud. Thank you meds!
#SSRI
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Today has been a positive day and I can’t believe it. I had a therapy assessment and I will begin sessions properly next week! I am also allowed back to work next week for 2 days. I’ve been given a chance and I’m ready to smash it. I didn’t think good things were coming! 🥹
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I'm recovering from an eating disorder.
You can may ask me how I'm doing, but I may not always be honest. My behaviours will often tell you more than my words.
It's just as confusing for you as it is for me.
But I promise to keep trying. It's the only choice I have. 🤷🏽♀️
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The most tiring thing about chronic mental illness is the same patterns repeating over and over. It’s so exhausting and you feel powerless.
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I am quite fed up with how so many mental health clinicians automatically label someone with a personality disorder if they self-harm, have emotional dysregulation and suicidal thoughts. This is why so many people get misdiagnosed. This is people’s lives. Diagnose correctly 💁🏽♀️
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Just to clarify, body acceptance is not loving your body.
Body acceptance is realising that your worth as a person is not based on your weight and how your body looks.
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@LoveIsland
Joey saying “we are up there”… mate - no you’re not 😂. He is 100% in there for the wrong reasons.
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Them: “Medication isn’t a long term solution”.
No, it definitely can be. If it keeps you well, then yes it is. I’m sorry that doesn’t fit your agenda or beliefs 🙃
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Feels lovely to get this certificate that I’m halfway through my CBT for eating disorders course. I can’t wait to be a CBT therapist and loving my 2nd year 🥰
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Calories and organs: I made a new graphic this evening outlining why having enough calories a day is so important for basic human functioning. Even a small calorie deficit is not enough for your body to function. Please stop saying eating under 2000 calories is enough; it’s not!
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Had a bit of a meltdown today and refused to go to a family event because my head was telling me I’m too fat. I don’t think many people understand how much thoughts can take over your life. Sometimes they do win, and that should be normalised.
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Please stop labelling sugar as bad and telling children they will develop diabetes.
Statistically, children are more likely to develop an eating disorder than diabetes.
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@adamfare1996
Why didn’t I know this?! Makes sense. A can of monster makes me more tired! But psychologically, continue to drink it with coffee to reduce tiredness.
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It would be amazing if doctors, mainly GP’s, knew that cholesterol is raised in patients with anorexia most the time. There is a medical explanation for this!!!
Telling people with anorexia that they have too much fat in their blood is really unhelpful!
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Having an eating disorder will often make you feel guilty for liking food, having an appetite, or being a ‘foodie’. The reality is, enjoying food and having an appetite is a blessing and a sign of health.
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A (correct) diagnosis can help in so many ways:
- treatment options
- Allows others to understand you
- Enables you to understand yourself
- Where there’s a diagnosis, there’s evidence & science
- Provides explanation
- Makes you feel less ‘alone’
- Things begin to make sense.
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Discharging a family never gets easier, despite being almost 3 years into my role as an eating disorder nurse. I am so proud of anyone who lives or recovers from an ED. 🥰
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Hi everyone. Sorry, haven’t been on here last few days. I’ll reply to messages soon.
Haven’t been well and then had surgery yesterday (nothing too serious). I have my Dolly today resting with me.
Happy Saturday! Have a lovely weekend whatever you’re doing 🥰
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I’ve been assessed twice today. Once by a CMHT and the other for a specific therapy for my ED. I’ve accepted help.
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Diet culture promotes low carbohydrate diets because apparently, if you limit carbohydrates, you will lose weight.What diet culture fails to tell you is that your brain's preferred source of fuel is carbohydrate (glucose).You need around 130g daily for healthy brain functioning!
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I am hoping one day that the word ‘atypical’ is removed. It creates barriers to ED treatment, and I believe it perpetuates fat phobic myths. You are sick enough if you feel that your life is being dominated by food and weight! 5/6
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TW - ⚠️ Might upset diet culture
Calories in Easter Chocolate.
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Hello everyone 👋
Sorry, I took some time out from social media. I am back now. I hope everyone has had a good week, or has at least got through the week. I am still off work for “overriding eating disorder” needs 🤦🏽♀️. Things aren’t good but I’m alive!
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There is a misconception that if you post negative or feelings on social media, that you’re “care eliciting” or wanting support.
This is very untrue. A lot the time, writing tweets really helps with processing stuff and self-reflection. It isn’t to receive ‘care’ or attention.
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Firstly, it is as serious and life threatening as standard AN. Research has shown that that the psychopathology is often greater than AN, mostly because people have held off seeking help. Therefore, behaviours, thoughts, and body image disturbances are more engrained.
2/6
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My partner said I’m not funny anymore after doing this for the 3rd time this week. What he doesn’t realise is that I’m doing it because I find myself funny, and I’m actually hinting for him to throw away the damn empty toilet roll!! 🤣
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Them: “if you’re struggling, that is okay, you should ask for help. There is help for you. You deserve support….��
* * Opens up and asks for help * *
Them: Unfortunately, you don’t meet our criteria.
* * Loses trust * *
Them: You are not motivated or engaged.
🤦🏽♀️
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When times are tough and you really aren’t ‘okay’, it doesn’t help being advised that “it will pass” or to “count your blessings” or to “be positive”. It’s never just one day at a time, but usually one minute, one meal, maybe one shower. Sometimes just breathing.
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I had a great birthday. It was made even better spending the morning at a cat cafe 💜
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The scariest thing about having a chronic mental illness is picturing yourself one day wondering how all your life was dominated by darkness and all those good things you missed out on.
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There are many anti-psychiatry psychologists who put so much effort into pushing their own agenda and getting their voice heard, that they forget about how many patients they’re invalidating. Like, how dare you challenge a persons diagnosis that helps them understand themselves?!
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You can have the same diagnosis as someone, but this doesn’t mean you know what they’re going through’. Each individual is different and one persons needs will be different to the next. You can relate to some extend, but never fully understand. Please consider this.
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Don’t you hate it when you open up to someone about how down you are, and they start invalidating you by saying , “ but you have a roof over your head and a job….”… 🤦🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️
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Signs that you’re following diet culture:
1- Avoiding carbs
2- juice cleansing
3-Exercising more to ‘earn’ dessert
4-Eating less in front of people
5-Cheat days
6-Feeling guilty for skipping a workout
7-Saving calories for a meal out
8-Labelling food as good and bad.
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As an ED nurse, I’ve can’t express that anorexia occurs at ANY weight. Weight does not make your eating disorder ‘atypical’ and your ED is valid! 4/6
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It makes me feel sick when people say ‘Your experiences will make you stronger’.
I don’t want to be stronger. I wasn’t weak. I am not broken. My experiences broke me.
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Be confident as a therapist or MH nurse to say “I don’t know the answer to this”, rather than advise or bluff something in attempt to help.
It’s fine to say you don’t know, but be humble enough to say you don’t know, but, you’ll find out for them. That is competence 🙌🏼 🥰
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I find it rather sad that psychosis is often seen as ‘dangerous’. Individuals with psychosis are rarely violent and, in fact, they are at much greater risk of causing harm to themselves than to others. They also need to stop using psychosis in horror films.
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Have you noticed how anti psychiatry people only push their own side and attempt to convince everyone else that their view is correct. Whereas everyone else has a balanced view, considers both sides and allows that. Funny that.
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Because current weight is in the normal range, the diagnosis of an ED is often missed under the false assumption that people of normal weight can’t have an eating disorder. As a result, patients with atypical AN often present for treatment late in the course of their illness. 3/6
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People are very quick to comment if you’re too quiet, “boring” , or being unsociable, but do they ever consider how noisy, tiring, and overwhelming they are?
No. Do you and what’s best for your mental health.
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Do you ever get that sadness that gets so deep in your heart, that you can physically feel it hurting? and you can’t even cry.
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I am sorry if you’ve experienced any weight stigma, or if you’ve been refused any treatment for not fitting a ‘criteria’. You deserve better, and I can only hope things drastically change. 🩷 6/6
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I feel really proud to be working in the mental health profession with so many other clinicians who have their own history and mental health problems. Not because this automatically makes someone a better clinician, but because they always want more & better for their patients.
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Just a reminder:
1,200 calories a day is the calorie recommendation for a toddler.
10,000 steps a day is an arbitrary number made up by the diet and fitness culture industry.
If these were your NY resolutions, don’t beat yourself up if you’ve not stuck to them.
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My GP keeps encouraging me to work outside of eating disorders for a while until I’m “recovered”, but something inside me won’t allow that. I’m so passionate about my role. It’s like my identity and value now. It’s weird when your protective factor is also your trigger.
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Japan is absolutely gorgeous!! Everyone is just friendly and welcoming and everything is clean and taken pride in. The UK could learn a lot from this beautiful country. 🇯🇵
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Restricting food, counting calories, exercising to earn food and cutting out food groups is BAD for you, whatever your weight is.
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If you avoid carbohydrates or if eating carbohydrates makes you feel guilty in some way, I’d really appreciate if you read this mini thread …🧵
Everything written here is based on science, not opinion!
1/9
#dietmyths
#keto
#carbohydrate
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I don’t think having lived experience automatically makes you a better mental health professional, but the frustration I feel from being let down and feeling so passionate about people deserving better fuels me so much. My only protective factor and purpose in life. 💚
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Trying to understand my depression by writing it down because I can’t verbalise how I feel when someone asks me.
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I created this blood test poster 2 years ago today. I still refer to it often. It’s important to understand how bloods are impacted in eating disorders, and what this indicates.
Remember that cholesterol is often raised in restrictive eating! Don’t tell patients to cut out fat!
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The ED thought: “I’m not dying. I’m alive and functioning. I’m not sick enough to need help”.
The Fact: Actually, even if I’m alive, my life is taken away by having no energy, hours wasted focusing on food & exercise, sadness, and strained relationships.
You are not living.
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I didn’t go to school in years 10 & 11 because the school failed to address the bullying I was faced with. My mental state would’ve been worse if I was forced to have 100% attendance.
However, I got a 1:1 in my BSc degree and currently doing a level 7.
Therefore, this is BS👋
Fantastic visual example pointing out the link between attendance and attainment.
Very important that we get as many children in classrooms as possible!
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Notice how it’s called an eating disorder?
Not a weight disorder.
Not a BMI disorder.
Not an exercise disorder.
Not an obsessed with image disorder.
Not bad body image disorder.
Not attention seeking disorder.
Not out of control disorder.
Not control everything disorder.
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It’s really heartbreaking when you really want to recover from your eating disorder, but that internal bully destroys that motivation when those urges suddenly appear. It won’t allow you to stay ‘motivated’. There’s no consistency. It’s hell.
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Anti-psychiatry business model
1: Make unwell people come off medication abruptly and make them believe there is nothing wrong.
2: Sell them a podcast.
3: Convince unwell people that their mental illness symptoms are normal.
4: Make unwell people on Twitter follow them.
5: Profit
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As an eating disorder nurse, I want to confirm that you can be any weight and have anorexia. You can also be any weight and have binge eating disorder, bulimia, or OSFED too. Don’t believe or accept anything different.
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Regarding the Russell Brand situation, many are asking, “Why has it taken 11+ years for people to start talking?”
Well, let me tell you that trauma doesn’t play to a time scale, neither does fear. Not everyone reports stuff straight away!! Try and understand trauma better. 🙄
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