Chaz
@ChazzaSheridan
Followers
407
Following
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64
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1,969
broken hearted hustler
Notts Sutton-In-Ashfield
Joined June 2012
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We made it, Paul sheridan made it to the pub...fashion icon the man the myth the legend.
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Mutton hill
thinking about the mad clutch control peppa pig’s dad has you know always driving up that steep hill
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Just ordered one for my ass
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Operation sneak my dad to the pub without my mum knowing is underway...
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Tinder has you realise how many fit girls there are out there and how non of them fancy you 👍🏼
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21st birthday completed...threw up, shit me sen and cried gonna be a good year ✌🏻
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Dad in hospital and I can’t visit him...fuck the corona virus and up the stags
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Asked my neighbour how much he’s had to drink and tells me in units...southern puff
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People have trims and get 10 times fitter...but I just look like a fat cunt with a fade
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I’ve just woke up and made a coffee and a pot noodle then put soy sauce in my fucking coffee 🤦🏻♂️ FUCK
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I’ve just had a shit in a bag in the back of the work van and put it in next doors skip...how’s your Friday?
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Anyone else’s mum call aftershave/perfume smellies? Or is my mum just a pikey
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Still can’t believe there was a girl at primary school that wore pink joggers that said bad bitch on the back
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2020 is giving the Sheridan family the biggest titty twister known to man
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Ran past a geezer earlier that i recognised from Strava leaderboards and gave him a stare down to let him know I’m coming for his records, prick
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Don’t know what conditioner does but I rub it on my tits every time I have a shower
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Been on the sesh heavy for like 6 months...mans got titties baby
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Imagine having a game tomorrow in a flooded village and the game still isn’t called off yet
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I think it’s mad that some people can go around killing a raping people....when I feel bad, and think about it for days when I don’t let someone pull out at a junction.
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I’m gonna bring back pissing at urinals with ya trousers round your ankles
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The customers today were asking for my number for their daughter...got to be the most red my face as ever gone in my life
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Unpopular opinion: James Milner is one of the best players in the prem
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I can’t wait to be retired and just drink bitter in the pub all day chatting bollocks
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Can’t decide whether I was really good at kiss chase as a kid or I was just fat and clapped so the girls didn’t go for me...either way I’m a champion!
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Had 5 pints of peroni then nailed 3 supersize pot noodles back to back haha this new diet is for me
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Why do girls send eachother presents randomly? All I get given is low self esteem from the lads haha
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Looked in the mirror this morning to see what state I was in from last night, and I had chow mein hanging from my cheek
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“DM my insta, I don’t use this” biggest lie going on tinder since I said I’m 6 foot 2
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You know it’s been a good night when you wake up with ya bird blocked and curry on ya face
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Mum just asked me what I want for me birthday I said a gimp suit and she said nah you can just borrow your dads 🤦🏻♂️😭😂
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I’m fuming! I knew a draw was coming but fucking hell that was wank
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Ever get it when you want to listen to music but everything you listen to isn’t enjoyable? Cos yeah same 🙄
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Mate Matt Haywood is fucking everyone, watch yourself or you’re next
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Hot summers day where do I want to be?
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Imagine dropping your keys down a drain then some geezer pops up with some string and a magnet and fishes it out...what a legend!
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Literally work all week buzzing for the weekend then remember you can’t do owt when ya get back home on Friday
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Got loads of socks for Christmas and I’m buzzing about it...think I can feel a grey hair coming
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Try breaking with your left foot next time you’re driving...that’s all I’m sayin
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Anyone else’s bodyclock ridiculous? I wake up like 60 seconds before my alarm everyday
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My dream is for Haywood to be in house party call with some bird, and for all the lads to join and watch his face
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💔💔💔
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Shoutout to my brother for making it so easy to be the favourite son! 👌🏻
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My brother just asked to use my shaver hahaha last time I used that was around my balls haha god is good
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My mum is the least lady like woman I’ve ever met, I was pissing her off and she tried to pootash me 😂😭 wtf
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