King Charles III (parody)
@Charles_HRH
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Following
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HM King Charles III, formerly known as Prince. Head of the British Royal Family. One's guide to Britishness: #GodSaveTheKing (FICTIONAL/PARODY)
United Kingdom
Joined January 2011
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Pinned Tweet
One's guide to Great Britishness is OUT NOW. Do your duty, for Future King and Country.
http://t.co/jEtSWEkgVH
http://t.co/9dPDuBH3np
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Lovely meeting with Greta Thunberg today in Davos. We both agreed that climate change, global warming and Donald Trump are the greatest threats humanity has ever faced.
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If Trump wants to ban those who can be radicalised by extremists, then he should start with anyone who voted for him.
#muslimban
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"The Prince of Whales". Very funny, Donald Trump. Did you do that on porpoise?
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The Pentagon has changed the nuclear codes to over 140 characters so President Trump can't tweet them.
#Inauguration
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England are out of the World Cup, the sun has disappeared, and Donald Trump arrives today. Worst. Thursday. Ever.
#TrumpUKVisit
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President Donald Trump has arrived in the UK for a three day state visit. Queen Elizabeth II has asked Prince Philip to pick him up from the airport.
#TrumpUKVisit
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Rishi Sunak on the phone. Running his cabinet reshuffle past one. Camilla says it's like rearranging cat shit on a litter tray.
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Royal transition in making America Great (Britain) Again:
- Prince Harry marries an American
- They have baby Archie
- Archie gets dual citizenship
- Make him King
- Have him elected as US President
- USA is once again ruled by an English King
#royalbaby
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It is with deep sorrow to announce one's beloved father, Prince Philip, the Duke of Edinburgh, passed away peacefully this morning aged 99.
Rest in peace, daddy x
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Imagine going back to work at 95 years old, 5 days after the death of your husband of 73 years, then having to mourn alone, like so many, thanks to a cruel pandemic - if you don’t respect that, you’re not human.
God save the Queen 🇬🇧
#PrincePhilipFuneral
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Nigel Farage has resigned as leader of UKIP, mainly to spend time with his German wife before she's deported.
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All the King's horses, and all the King's men, have reunited Queen Elizabeth II and her Prince Philip again. Crown returned, duty done. Thank you, mummy.
#QueensFuneral
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No, Harry, we cannot "pretend it was Ed Sheeran".
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Queen Elizabeth II met 15 different UK Prime Ministers in her 70 year reign. It's entirely possible one could beat that record by Christmas!
#ToryShambles
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Before you mock children for believing in Father Christmas, just remember there are grown adults who actually believe in Boris Johnson’s Brexit Deal.
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HELP WANTED: Skilled carpenter required to fix a broken cabinet at 10 Downing Street, London. No tools needed as the building is full of them.
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Royal transition in making America Great (Britain) Again:
- Prince Harry marries an American
- Archie is born
- They all ‘retire’ to USA
- Archie gets dual citizenship
- Archie becomes King
- Archie also elected as US President
- USA is once again ruled by an English King
#Megxit
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Only the British could tyrannically invade and colonise half the world, then leave the EU due to immigration.
#BrexitDay
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Harry and Meghan’s wedding is a stark demonstration of how far the Monarchy has progressed in the past 80 years, when the idea of marrying a ginger was inconceivable.
#RoyalWedding
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One thing is for certain; in 5 years time, this is going to be a cracking episode on The Crown.
#Megxit
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Andrea Leadsom is saddened to hear of Jane Austen's death at the age of 242, and has cancelled her meeting with Emily Bronte out of respect.
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Italy, China and Spain: total lockdown 🔐
USA: state of emergency 🚨
France, Portugal, Denmark and Norway: all public gatherings cancelled with schools, universities, restaurants, libraries and museums remaining closed 🚫
Meanwhile in
#CoronaUK
:
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Dear Parliament, have you tried turning the UK off, waiting 10 seconds, then turning it back on again?
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The remake of Dumb and Dumber looks rubbish.
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Dear Europe, please can you vote for the UK tonight? Just imagine post-Brexit Britain being forced to host an event celebrating European unity and diversity. Troll of the century.
#Eurovision
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Text from Mr Cameron: “I can’t live, if living is without EU”.
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"UK was confident in winning ‘Worst Political Decision of 2016’ until USA played their trump card".
#InaugurationDay
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100 years on, pause to remember. Lest we forget those who fought for our freedom. In war, there are no unwounded soldiers.
#ArmisticeDay100
#LestWeForget
#RemembranceDay2018
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Daniel Craig will return as James Bond, as he "wants to go out on a high note".
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The
#RoyalBaby
has left hospital. He will now go to Kensington Palace, where he will rest comfortably for the next 80 years.
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At least with France winning the World Cup it's geographically coming closer to home.
#WorldCupFinal
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Dear the Government, instead of spending over £3m on the London fireworks display, why not welcome in 2019 by helping the homeless and hungry instead? Just a thought.
#HappyNewYear2019
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Bowie, Rickman, Wogan, Daniels, Corbett, Wood, and now Prince. Could someone please tell the Grim Reaper he is using the wrong list.
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If England actually win the World Cup, could we cancel Brexit? Asking for a friend.
#ENGCRO
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Big Ben will fall silent for 4 years after midday today due to essential maintenance. They'll be working round the clock.
#BigBen
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Donald Trump has left the White House for the very last time as US President. End of an error.
#InaugurationDay
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It's good to see the world leaders have reacted positively to Boris Johnson's appointment.
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One can confirm that the Duchess of Cambridge is expecting her third child. Prince William needs all the heir he can get.
#RoyalBaby
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President Trump's first official act will be to evict a black family from the White House. Awkward.
#InaugurationDay
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Today’s the day Theresa May reveals that Brexit is the most convincing April Fools prank ever played.
#AprilFools
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Day 3 of 2020. Australia is on fire, and World War III has been announced.
Has anyone tried turning Earth off, waiting 10 seconds, then turning it back on again?
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Elizabeth II is currently having an afternoon tea meeting with Donald Trump. God Save The Queen has never carried more meaning.
#TrumpUKVisit
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An Englishman, Welshman, Scotsman and Irishman walk into a pub. Idiots.
#StayAtHomeSaveLives
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Nigel Farage, Ed Balls, Vince Cable, and George Galloway have all lost their seats. I'm a Celebrity is going to be amazing this year.
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Worst episode of CBeebies Bedtime Stories ever. Camilla much prefers Tom Hardy.
#coronavirus
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If Ebola hits the UK, one'll drive to mummy's, take care of Philip, grab Liz, go to Windsor, have a cup of tea and wait for it to blow over.
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Text from Theresa May: “Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with EU”.
#ConfidenceVote
#NoConfidenceMotion
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If you're angry about Donald Trump being
@Time
's Person of the Year, wait until you find out who was elected as the US President.
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Jeremy Hunt will replace Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary. Presumably he’s ready to bugger up the rest of the world after practising on the NHS.
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Dear The Government, please can you follow lockdown rules, which you implemented. There are far too many cummings and goings.
#dailybriefing
#coronavirus
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All English football teams in the European finals. It’s clear we don’t want to leave, but if we do, we’re taking all the silverware with us.
#brexit
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There is no truth to the rumour that the baby will be presented on the balcony, whilst playing the Circle of Life. Sorry.
#royalbaby
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No, Harry, you cannot change your name to The Ginge, formally known as Prince.
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There is no truth to the rumour that the baby will be presented on the balcony, whilst playing the Circle of Life. Sorry.
#royalbabyboy
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Dear the Government, instead of spending over £3m on the London fireworks display, why not welcome in 2020 by helping the homeless and hungry instead? Just a thought.
#HappyNewYear2020
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One can confirm that the only thing ‘coming home’ is the England Football Team. Hold your heads up high, well played lads.
#ENGCRO
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Royal New Year's Resolutions:
-Become King
-Make it illegal to be Donald Trump
-Teach Camilla how to 'floss'
-Sell France
#HappyNewYear2019
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America, regardless of who becomes your next President, one thinks we can all agree it shouldn't be Donald Trump.
#ElectionDay
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Theresa May has asked the EU for a delay to Brexit. We can't even get 12 points from anyone during Eurovision, let alone getting 27 countries to all agree an extension.
#Brexshit
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Mr Trump, one would like to inform you that WWE is also fake, much like your tan, and presidency. Regards, Charles.
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The England football team has arrived in Russia for the World Cup. Might as well leave the plane engine running, they won't be long.
#WorldCup
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Dear
#Eurovision
, please can you confirm if that was a declaration of war against the UK? Regards.
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Dear England, Super Spreader Saturday is not to be confused with Second Spike Saturday, which is scheduled to take place in a couple of weeks.
#pubsopening
#supersaturday
#dyingforapint
#coronavirus
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The Royal Mint have unveiled one's portrait on the new 50p coin, perfectly capturing the mood of a nation. This will only be worth 10p by Christmas.
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Now Donald Trump has been banned from all social media, has someone hidden the nuclear codes from him? Asking for a planet.
#TrumpBanned
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Hillary Clinton on the phone. Apparently she wants "Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway to double check the presidential election card".
#Oscars
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MISSING! George Osborne, UK Chancellor. Last seen near a broken economy. Considered dangerous (with a calculator).
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America, regardless of who becomes your next President, one thinks we can all agree it shouldn't be Donald Trump.
#Election2020
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Be warned; if you drink and drive after Eurovision, you may end up with more points than the United Kingdom.
#Eurovision
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It's very pretty, but it's not James Bond parachuting with the bloody Queen.
#OpeningCeremony
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It is with deep sorrow to announce one's beloved mother, HM Queen Elizabeth II, died peacefully this afternoon aged 96. It truly is the end of an era.
Rest in peace, mummy x
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If Harry and Meghan’s £112m reality TV series with Netflix isn’t called ‘The Only Way is Sussex’ they should return the money.
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