“Monet was so grunge..” — Eataly restroom

San Francisco is simultaneously dangerous and boring. Kind of like my second marriage.

@lennysan Sports betting.

@malthe This some serious “NPR Energy” up in here…

Thank you Chat GPT - not just for giving VCs something to do in this market, but also for ensuring I’ll never have to talk directly to my second ex wife again!

For the first time in my life I was offered soap.

My name for this order? My name is “the only person in this store right now.” Thanks.

@mycheeksarepuff She laysee

@British_Airways your ostrich approach to helping people find the thousands of bags you lost at LHR this week is beyond shameful. I have been a loyal customer. I will now no longer fly BA. Shame on you.

The only benefit of the blockchain is that people losing money is public.

At this point in my life, all my haircuts look like they’ve been performed by a birthing canal.

In Spain, one customer constitutes “a surge.”

To “ser” or to “estar,” a lifelong quest #somethingrotten

American tourists often make me think of how awesome it would be to sometimes not understand English.

Birds are weird.

Sipping an iced coffee is not a valid reason to put your phone on “speaker” mode.

Got so fat I can no longer unlock my phone w FaceID.

“I’ve recently installed blackout curtains...” must be the turning point of some twelve step journey.

@mycheeksarepuff @allanyu_ How dare you abuse my trust and divulge my fashion secrets @allanyu_

@mycheeksarepuff It’s ODIOUS here at Crate&Barrel2