Dr. Caroline Bartman
@Caroline_Bartma
Followers
28K
Following
64K
Media
1K
Statuses
17K
asst prof @Penn studying metabolic flux in tumors and immune cells- @theNCI R00 awardee- also i do bad jokes (she/her)
Philadelphia, PA
Joined April 2016
NEW BARTMAN LAB WEBSITE JUST DROPPED: Techs/staff scientists/postdocs/students, come work with us in 2023! (pls RT).
32
132
543
I have a joke about senior faculty asking questions at seminars but it’s actually more of a comment.
212
4K
43K
no one: . scientist: you guys i did some great science! i'm so excited!.scientist: I'm going to print it on an ENORMOUS sheet of paper.scientist: like really big. QUITE BIG.scientist: and then take it on a plane and go somewhere and show it to people.
109
2K
17K
what if i start a bar for researchers called Pub Med.
260
2K
11K
you know what would increase diversity in science? higher grad student stipends.
75
952
7K
How it started:.AUG. How it’s going:.AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
59
1K
6K
"I am giving a poster".-underwhelming.-boring. "Unpublished science, for only one hour, standing room only!".-accurate.-enthralling.
23
1K
6K
why do they call it “a vial of mRNA vaccine” and not.“message in a bottle”.
33
587
6K
i don't know who needs to hear this but if a professor doesn't respond to you.EMAIL THEM AGAIN.
117
607
6K
you're telling me a desk rejected this manuscript.
32
318
4K
PROPOSAL: journal that will publish any results disagreeing with high-profile papers, we'll call it Nurture.
31
635
4K
I love academic science because you are a “young investigator” until you are like 50 and also as an adult at a professional event you can win a “poster prize”.
32
215
4K
I still think there should be an escape clause on PhDs. Like if you’re a sixth year and have no publications, you can duel your advisor and if you win you’re a doctor.
87
247
4K
And the dark fairy cursed her saying “you will travel to the most beautiful places all over the world but you will never be allowed to see the landmarks. Instead you will sit in identical lecture halls and listen to people talk about papers they already published”.
38
443
4K
clones in fiction: SO MYSTERIOUS! they're exactly the same! they share thoughts. maybe they share A SOUL. clones in biology: IF ALL MY MICE ARE GENETICALLY IDENTICAL WHY ARE MY DATA SO VARIABLE.
35
726
4K
It is now officially permissible, if your PI comes looking for data, to just yell “SOCIAL DISTANCING” and run away.
29
550
4K
Excited to announce that I will start in Fall 2023 as an Assistant Professor in the University of Pennsylvania Department of Systems Pharmacology and Translational Therapeutics. The Bartman Lab will measure and target extreme metabolic fluxes in immune cells and cancer cells.
315
102
4K
why do journals submission systems have passwords. i mean, please break in to my account and revise my paper, be my guest.
28
232
3K
Got tired of mitosis, thought I might try so meiosis
133
47
3K
Do you sometimes wonder if the NIH is a really sophisticated plot orchestrated by mice so they can get us to cure their diseases and understand their genetics.
79
669
3K
An English manor mystery but everyone staying in the house is a scientist and you have to figure out who was the reviewer who rejected your paper.
43
540
3K
Postdoc life:.Poorer than the professors, less cool than the grad students.
45
137
3K
if you liked Lost even though it was ultra confusing, had many seemingly irrelevant storylines and ended with all questions and no answers, may i recommend THE ENTIRE FIELD OF BIOLOGY.
30
488
3K
But why is it called a nanodrop if I put a microliter of liquid on it.
65
207
3K
PROPOSAL: a -80 that instead of a beeping alarm, just starts playing “It’s Getting Hot in Here”.
37
204
3K
What is your most controversial lab opinion?. I think a lot of stuff people keep in a -80 could probably be in a -20 and nothing would happen.
257
237
3K
The most amazing thing about being a scientist is doing an experiment .and then you discover a way to mess it up that no one has ever seen before.
20
244
3K
I don’t know anything about limb regeneration but I’m prepared to axolotl questions.
35
403
2K
PROPOSAL: a journal about electric eels called Current Biology.
38
219
2K
Why do people call it “junk dna” and not “nuclear waste”.
52
397
2K
u know how parents take pics of babies on blankets and it's like 'THREE MONTHS'. do that with PhD students, it's a grown woman on a blanket with a placard that says SIX YEARS and she's eating some free seminar pizza.
15
138
2K
Hill I will die on:.IT SHOULD BE CALLED 46ANDME THEYRE NOT SEQUENCING HAPLOID CELLS.
16
133
2K
R0- (pronounced “r-naught”).How many people on average an infected person will pass the virus to. As in, .“I hope you R0 going into stores without a mask”.
18
375
2K
“Just going to lab for an hour” she lied to herself.
19
167
2K
i love tissue culture media because the recipe is like:. very precise amounts of glucose, glutamine, 19 other amino acids, and 15 vitamins and minerals. then add 10% miscellaneous cow juice.
38
216
2K
Scientist: people might come to see it! especially if there is free beer near my Large Science Paper.
8
34
2K
PROPOSAL: a movie about protein misfolding called Lost in Translation.
28
140
2K
me: i'm a scientist. also me: you HAVE to spin these tubes for 10 minutes NO NOT NINE NOT ELEVEN DONT ASK ME WHY.
37
202
2K
PROPOSAL: a heist movie but it’s a team of brilliant scientists breaking into the NIH to fix typos in the grants they just submitted.
44
142
2K
Do you whisper “so cute” every time you look at your cells in the microscope or are you normal.
57
177
2K
PROPOSAL: If an experiment doesn't go well, drown your sorrows at our new pub. the Error Bar.
30
239
2K
Imagine if I could find a room. A BIG ROOM with many BIG SCIENCE PAPERS. and full of scientists to come look at MY BIG SCIENCE PAPER.
11
35
2K
LIVE FAST.DIE YOUNG.GENERATE NEW DATA THE DAY BEFORE YOUR LAB MEETING.
20
251
2K
DID YOU REALLY THINK A ONE TAILED T TEST WAS APPROPRIATE, KEVIN
19
130
2K
PROPOSAL: a deodorant called Clathrin.so you can tell friends you have clathrin-coated pits.
37
159
2K
now that we are all working from home, may i recommend:.the MODIFIED POMODORO method. 1. work on work stuff for 25 minutes. 2. Read coronavirus updates on twitter and for two hours. repeat until you've finished approximately 25 minutes of work in 1 day.
22
199
2K
Me comparing the data I have to show for lab meeting this week.to my data the last time I gave lab meeting
22
84
2K
why is it called a nanodrop if the drop measured is a microliter.
71
142
2K
what if the elderly tenured PI who sleeps in the front row of every seminar is actually an avant garde performance artist making an edgy point about the futility of the scientific enterprise.
15
177
2K
medieval knights named their swords so i want to name my pipets. P200 the faithful.P20 the true.P2 the is-there-anything-actually-in-there.
23
233
2K
“IT’S SCIENCE TIME!” I yell as I begin to transfer small amounts of liquid between different tubes for several hours.
24
212
2K
One lab skill im super envious of is people who can sharpie a whole paragraph on top of an eppendorf in perfect tiny writing.
38
104
2K
Hot take: if you’re a grad student, try to study a biological process that happens fast. In a day is great, in an hour even better.
64
53
2K
Me in college: don’t like writing papers, gonna major in science!. Me now with a career that hinges on writing grants and papers: 🤪🤪🤪.
16
72
2K
How do you know if your talk on regeneration biology went well?. If the audience axolotl questions.
27
97
2K
Super excited that I was awarded an NCI K99/R00 to continue developing new methods to study tumor metabolism in vivo!
115
18
2K
poster sessions are wild.it's like, do you like papers?.in that case you will REALLY like traveling hundreds of miles to look at rough drafts of paper figures in a large ballroom.
16
160
1K
no one:. absolutely no one:. no one:. someone in each lab: since we have all this free and relaxed time, we should start a journal club!.
50
115
1K
When you see “paper published 2024, paper submitted 2022”
44
87
2K
PROPOSAL: a zoo but for different kinds of bacteria and cell lines.Visitors view every exhibit through microscopes.
53
134
1K
Cas9 trying to cut when I designed the guide wrong 😭.
18
123
1K
you know when you're hiking up a mountain, and you're like "I can see the top!" and then you get there and it's not the top.and then the next one isn't the top either. that's what science is like sometimes.
32
94
1K
PIs: please use a plain background on your slides, no gradients or pictures, you need people to take your talk seriously. PIs during coronavirus: YOU GUYS ZOOM HAS BACKGROUNDS 🌴🧑🔬🌴🌈.
15
80
1K
PROPOSAL: a journal of good comebacks called.Scientific Retorts.
24
97
1K
Do u apologize to lab equipment when you bump into it or are u normal.
61
73
1K
Broke: throwing away your cells that aren’t growing well. Woke: cancel culture.
18
143
1K
The NIH should just dump money into getting proteomics to the point where no one ever has to do a Western again.
35
99
1K
PROPOSAL:.Reality show where 16 scientists try to meaningfully analyze single cell seq data collected at different times by different labs. We’ll call it.The Batchelor 🌹.
15
115
1K
Trying to locate samples from former lab members in the -80
14
116
1K
spilled my T25 on my lab notes so I guess I have a cell paper now.
33
107
1K
Literally harder to read a journal article when I’m not on campus than to get into the capital.
5
100
1K
I’m an Official assistant professor now that I have a door sign 😂🎉🎉🎉
32
15
1K
plasmids are very Marie Kondo because bacteria can throw out genes that no longer spark joy.
12
269
1K
Me when I’m typing “We thank the reviewers for their thoughtful comments”
10
80
1K
PROPOSAL: every time you learn a new lab technique, make a supervillain-style announcement speech. "They said it couldn't be done. They said it was TOO DANGEROUS. But now I've mastered the power of Gibson Assembly! NO ONE CAN STOP ME".
16
162
1K
Scientists use question words to learn about the world around them!. WHO will give me funding.WHEN will they give me funding.WHAT do i have to do to get funding.WHY do i not have more funding.
14
205
1K
ROSES ARE RED.IN FRENCH THEY ARE ROUGE.MAY YOUR EPPENDORF LIDS.NOT BREAK OFF IN THE CENTRIFUGE .#AcademicValentine.
13
249
1K
this is just to say.i have taken your pipet tips.that were on your bench. and which.you were probably.saving.for an experiment. Forgive me.they were useful.so sterile.and so convenient.
18
182
1K
instead of counting sheep, i go to sleep by imagining pipeting a 96-well plate.
33
121
1K
PROPOSAL: a biotech startup that does 30-sec bacterial cell wall staining. We'll call it Insta-Gram.
15
172
1K
My PI and I wrote an op-ed about Covid19 viral dose and why it should be part of the public discussion!
54
434
1K
live fast.die young.present unpublished work at a conference.
22
102
1K
A dendritic cell is like a small child that tries to touch everything and then sometimes they touch a stove or a knife and they just start screaming.
17
147
1K
trying to explain to my lab how hard my life was before biorender
21
58
1K
I mean it's one antibody, Michael, what could it cost? Ten thousand dollars?.
14
88
1K
Hello sharpie my old friend.I’ve come to label tubes again.Because an idea softly creeping.Left its seeds while I was sleeping.And the experiment it planted in my brain.Still remains.Within the sound.Of science.
23
88
1K
Nothing more wholesome than acknowledgments at PhD defenses.
12
25
1K
omg i did that PI thing today.where i'm like "yes we can get this done in 2 weeks, no problem!".and my postdoc is like "caroline that takes at least a month".
38
19
1K
Why can I culture cells for months at a time and they’re totally happy but as soon as I purchase a succulent it dies.
35
69
1K
PROPOSAL: an app for scientists to find other scientists to run co-labs with: PInder.
18
116
1K
the BIGGEST problem with zoom scientific seminars is the lack of free pizza.
15
70
1K