Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru Profile Banner
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru Profile
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru

@CS_Njeru

Followers
66,665
Following
136
Media
456
Statuses
277,913

Zachariah Mwangi Njeru

Nairobi, Kenya
Joined March 2016
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
Explore trending content on Musk Viewer
Pinned Tweet
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 months
I convey my sincere appreciation to H.E President William Ruto for entrusting me to serve as the inaugural Cabinet Secretary for Water, Sanitation and Irrigation. #AsanteRais @WilliamsRuto
1
6
16
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Free mobile Netflix in kenya is killing movie shop businesses a painful death...
146
258
2K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Nairobi is not your home... When u die you will be taken back to your roots. Jenga kwenu.
86
247
2K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Dem akiwa player hata uite msee wa kenya power bado you can't transformer 💔😔
68
314
2K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
RICH KIDS HAVE THE MOST BORING STORIES 🤦🤦 TEMBEA GHETTO USKIZE MIUJIZA😂😂
96
336
2K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Why call it coochie instead of cockpit?
99
289
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
My friend has always been negative about people with AIDS until he found out he has it too.. now he is positive...
87
200
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
What will you do if you found out that your partner chote on you?
236
137
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Ule dem wa tiktok mwenye alituonyesha kinembe mungu akubariki😂😂
87
156
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
You are in your 30s and you don't have a kid nor a spouse,do you think people in their 30s don't die?
103
160
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
A son telling his dad how he loves him in kenya might leave him crippled...
47
188
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Let's talk about your ID picture, honestly what happened?😂😂
160
153
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Before i share my plate of ugali with a Muslim,there are so many questions that run through my mind. What if kamafi kalibaki kwa makucha?
130
145
1K
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
I want to buy a subaru but i don't want to Impreza,i just want to have a good legacy 😌😌✊🏽
65
237
932
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
My cousin drove his new car into a tree, it was a sad way to find out how his mercedes bends
37
172
940
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Nguvu ya kudate msee hajui difference ya WiFi na wifi unatoa wapi? 😒
65
156
934
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
My doc told me not to lift heavy things ,so i sit down while urinating
62
178
884
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
"Morris nimeshoka!" Walai hii shit haijawai nitoka kwa kichwa 😂😂😂
70
129
890
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Nimependa dem wa nanyuki lakini amenishow hata nimpelekee mzinga bado honey-taki😪😭
55
180
777
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
A d*ck is like a throne to ladies, they all want to sit on it...
72
97
809
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Behind a successful man there's a woman, Behind an unsuccessful man there are women.
52
183
776
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Majuu unapata a 21yr old ako na gari na a stable job lakini wa kenya, ako Juja.
79
150
798
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
There's no word that starts with letter D and ends with letter K. Prove me wrong.
230
85
722
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
I may be poor in maths, but i do know 69 is an extremely odd number that is only divisible by two😌😌😌
47
168
779
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Told her she drives me crazy sasa sai amenieka parking😩😩😩
37
146
754
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
In catholic schools fathers be like, i have a parable and i bet nun of you will get it😁
41
172
670
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Uko na panjamas za kulala ama unalalaga na nguo zinakaa za P. E😂😂😂?
107
215
657
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Having one girlfriend is peaceful. It spares you from unnecessary drama&panic attacks..
87
122
767
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Caught her in bed with another man, she had to tell me her naked truth🥺☹️
64
168
671
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
She went to brag about my bed game to her best friend, now i have a new girlfriend.
90
149
705
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Told her i work at the bank ,now she want me to teller bank jokes😭😭
47
197
671
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Why does adhiambo look so good only when she turns around ?😂😂
56
125
737
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Hawa wasee hupenda kuenda mountain climbing, do they everest? 🤔🤔
73
188
692
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Kiberiti ni rhino,,ugali ni ndovu,,bwana yako ni fisi,,mamaa huoni unaishi kwa game park
76
195
690
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Watu wanono hawanaga haraka , they know how to weight😌😌
45
172
666
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Nashangaa mende iliingiaje kwa lappy, kumbe niliacha windows opened 😣😣😣😩
70
197
645
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Naskia ukiwa mnono huezi shika Quran, lazima ukue muslim😌😌
68
205
656
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Just saw ten ant's roaming in my room ,i guess i just got some new tenants in the building 😂😂
46
185
616
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
How do you tell someone to leave if they overstayed their welcome at your place?
106
94
708
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Reggae plus uchafu huslap differently kuliko kidero.
36
83
697
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Nlikuwa nadhani seal ndo simba wa maji, kumbe sea lion😒😒
51
172
621
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Every lady is taken but single depending on who's asking.
57
117
702
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
The stammerer who was jailed was bailed out yesterday. He didn't finish his sentence.
43
159
664
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
What did the Ocean tell the shore when it got angry? You such a beach😑
72
170
633
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Aliona nikiekewa mchele kwa club akakanyagia, thought he was my pearl 😒😪😪💔
58
159
610
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
After form 4 mnaendaga driving school ndio muendeshe nini exactly, gurudumu la maisha?
73
152
695
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
If Adam and Eve were the first, why aren't we all related ?
79
95
629
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Ukiwa na 20k zako unaeza enda pwani miaka ngapi ama ni coastly? 🤔🤔
43
116
611
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
I had a pun about amnesia but i forgot how it goes😥
70
91
619
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Uko na beef na mimi na sina pesa, don't be stew-pid concentrate na life yako😏✌🏾
52
174
603
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
First time kukula dem ana squirt nlikuwa nadhani ananikojolea 😭😭😭
61
117
640
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Ushago vijana wanapeleka wasichana kwa shamba za mahindi wanatoka wakifeel aMaizeing
89
144
582
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Kunde ikiiva in seconds tunaeza sema iyo ndo masekunde🤔🤔
51
142
583
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Mbona nyuki huwaga hazilewi na ziko na mzinga🤔
101
143
613
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Firefighters wakitaka kufutwa kazi huambiwa they are fired ama extinguished🤔🤔
40
146
586
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Unaeza lenga dem mkikuyu ukidhani ako na mimba kumbe ni kushiba ameshiba😂😂😂
91
181
532
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Haha uko na 3k followers na unacompete na msee wa 30k followers kwa giveaways 😂😂🤦🏽‍♂️hata wewe kuwa serious
74
128
558
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Women will totally screw anything, ju tumekosana mbona sasa ubang mlango😪😪
55
164
535
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
If u are making it without a parody account,wewe ni shujaa😂😂✊🏽
65
125
540
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Unaambia dem wako aku-suck, is she a vampire ?🤔🤔
54
105
577
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Dem wangu akienda long call huwaga harpic simu and if she does,ye huongea shit😒😒😏
54
154
534
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Marriage is a business, leta ni lete... lipa stima nilipe maji..tukikosana take what belongs to you. That's why we are marriage partners
43
118
609
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
A lot of poor people hate using a vacuum cleaner cause it sucks😪😪
24
95
543
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
I know you will ride me like a horse lakini jua kitanda si stable😩😩
57
166
536
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Dem wa carpenter akiona chali yake haezi mbao obviously ataanza kuranda randa💔
84
148
540
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Mbona shule zi huuzia wanafunzi uniforms na ni sare🤔🤔
67
181
528
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Mtu anaeza fanya aje awithdraw outstanding balance yake from safaricom?
76
89
531
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Lang'ata cemetery is overcrowded bana, people must be dying to get in💀🙃
58
135
528
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
What would happen if a person died in the living room?🤔
88
152
512
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Lakini sex workers huenjoy in the line of duty😂😂😂
60
106
537
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Dem anakuambia her body is all yours na ako na mwanya kwa meno, whose gap is that?
76
115
530
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Ukipiga dem mkamba finger, fingerprints zinapotea😂😂😂😭
77
153
512
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
I'm gonna get myself a crippled girlfriend, hopefully she won't jump into conclusions too.
60
108
543
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Kitambo in 2000s, i knew nothing about kissing.. nlikuwa napewa hug nambao hadi home 😂
75
81
535
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Napenda madem wa juja ..not only are they thick, they are Thika😊
67
122
491
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Unaenda kwa wedding ya wajaluo alafu inaisha ka hujui ni akina nani wameoana😂😂
46
89
531
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Two gays wanted to go to two rivers mall from ruaka ,i told them to go straight
76
72
529
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Nmechoka kujificha ,izo cookies mnaonaga YouTube ni mimi hupika na kuuza.
46
81
542
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
You can stand before any man if you kneel before God. Gm 😊😊
23
124
520
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Mnabuy vans mvaange in the name of couples goals alafu zinafade mkiwa talking stage😂😂
55
106
535
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Unasomea cooperative lakini bado u choosing a ron-gai😑😑
77
165
488
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Unashikwa na polisi kahawa west usipo mnunulia kahawa we-ndani😂😂
77
147
486
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Pastor akiona sadaka inakam through alafu aanze kuongea in tongues , tunaeza sema ana-churchisha? 🤔🤔
25
128
513
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Normalize telling ladies lies,they love that shit..telling them the truth won't get you laid.
37
107
507
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Mbona nywele za matako hazigrow kama za kichwa na ziko karibu na sewage?
121
102
523
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Unaoga aje na geisha, oga na panga uji-pange ki-lifebouy😪😪
62
137
461
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
My cousin was training to be a morgue attendant, results zimekuja amepass.
57
114
513
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Being a vegetarian is one of the worst misteaks that i will never do😂✌🏾
27
104
475
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
I was enquiring about the best rice in the store so he took me to wali-bora😁😁
38
139
455
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Nikiwa mless, nlikuwa nashangaa bwana anaachiaje bibi yake 100bob ya lunch,now i understand..
39
104
540
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Use condoms you can't detect HIV virus with your naked eyes...
67
83
493
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
On a serious note, vegetarians hawanaga beef na mtu🙂🤞🏿nice people those ones
35
102
463
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Dark mode ni ya watu weupe, watu weusi for chrissakes u need light in your lives 😪😪😂😂
49
119
470
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Periods za grace zimedelay, call it a grace period.
65
105
494
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Was told marijuana makes u sharp in class, why am i still blunt?😣😣😭
65
100
500
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
Ukijua dem wako anacheat ,usiwai mkulia beef just liver and find someone better😌😌
53
156
459
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
kiuk ladies huwaga hawacatch feelings ,wanacash in feelings na kama huezani na wao just leave them aloan😌
27
157
431
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Ukienda supermarket alafu uanze kucalculate vitu unabuy, u need to work harder.
27
84
503
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
3 years
What do we call geese from Portugal? Portu-geese🤔😂😂
28
124
461
@CS_Njeru
Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
2 years
Me as the head of the family,"before we eat these vegetables, lettuce pray 🙂".
63
111
456