Hon Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
@CS_Njeru
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Zachariah Mwangi Njeru
Nairobi, Kenya
Joined March 2016
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Pinned Tweet
I convey my sincere appreciation to H.E President William Ruto for entrusting me to serve as the inaugural Cabinet Secretary for Water, Sanitation and Irrigation.
#AsanteRais
@WilliamsRuto
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Free mobile Netflix in kenya is killing movie shop businesses a painful death...
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Nairobi is not your home... When u die you will be taken back to your roots. Jenga kwenu.
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Dem akiwa player hata uite msee wa kenya power bado you can't transformer 💔😔
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RICH KIDS HAVE THE MOST BORING STORIES 🤦🤦 TEMBEA GHETTO USKIZE MIUJIZA😂😂
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My friend has always been negative about people with AIDS until he found out he has it too.. now he is positive...
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What will you do if you found out that your partner chote on you?
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Ule dem wa tiktok mwenye alituonyesha kinembe mungu akubariki😂😂
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You are in your 30s and you don't have a kid nor a spouse,do you think people in their 30s don't die?
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A son telling his dad how he loves him in kenya might leave him crippled...
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Let's talk about your ID picture, honestly what happened?😂😂
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Before i share my plate of ugali with a Muslim,there are so many questions that run through my mind. What if kamafi kalibaki kwa makucha?
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I want to buy a subaru but i don't want to Impreza,i just want to have a good legacy 😌😌✊🏽
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My cousin drove his new car into a tree, it was a sad way to find out how his mercedes bends
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Nguvu ya kudate msee hajui difference ya WiFi na wifi unatoa wapi? 😒
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My doc told me not to lift heavy things ,so i sit down while urinating
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"Morris nimeshoka!" Walai hii shit haijawai nitoka kwa kichwa 😂😂😂
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Nimependa dem wa nanyuki lakini amenishow hata nimpelekee mzinga bado honey-taki😪😭
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A d*ck is like a throne to ladies, they all want to sit on it...
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Behind a successful man there's a woman, Behind an unsuccessful man there are women.
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Majuu unapata a 21yr old ako na gari na a stable job lakini wa kenya, ako Juja.
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There's no word that starts with letter D and ends with letter K. Prove me wrong.
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I may be poor in maths, but i do know 69 is an extremely odd number that is only divisible by two😌😌😌
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Told her she drives me crazy sasa sai amenieka parking😩😩😩
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In catholic schools fathers be like, i have a parable and i bet nun of you will get it😁
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Uko na panjamas za kulala ama unalalaga na nguo zinakaa za P. E😂😂😂?
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Having one girlfriend is peaceful. It spares you from unnecessary drama&panic attacks..
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Caught her in bed with another man, she had to tell me her naked truth🥺☹️
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She went to brag about my bed game to her best friend, now i have a new girlfriend.
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Told her i work at the bank ,now she want me to teller bank jokes😭😭
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Why does adhiambo look so good only when she turns around ?😂😂
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Hawa wasee hupenda kuenda mountain climbing, do they everest? 🤔🤔
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Kiberiti ni rhino,,ugali ni ndovu,,bwana yako ni fisi,,mamaa huoni unaishi kwa game park
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Watu wanono hawanaga haraka , they know how to weight😌😌
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Nashangaa mende iliingiaje kwa lappy, kumbe niliacha windows opened 😣😣😣😩
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Naskia ukiwa mnono huezi shika Quran, lazima ukue muslim😌😌
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Just saw ten ant's roaming in my room ,i guess i just got some new tenants in the building 😂😂
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How do you tell someone to leave if they overstayed their welcome at your place?
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Reggae plus uchafu huslap differently kuliko kidero.
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Nlikuwa nadhani seal ndo simba wa maji, kumbe sea lion😒😒
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Every lady is taken but single depending on who's asking.
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The stammerer who was jailed was bailed out yesterday. He didn't finish his sentence.
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What did the Ocean tell the shore when it got angry? You such a beach😑
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Aliona nikiekewa mchele kwa club akakanyagia, thought he was my pearl 😒😪😪💔
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After form 4 mnaendaga driving school ndio muendeshe nini exactly, gurudumu la maisha?
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If Adam and Eve were the first, why aren't we all related ?
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Ukiwa na 20k zako unaeza enda pwani miaka ngapi ama ni coastly? 🤔🤔
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I had a pun about amnesia but i forgot how it goes😥
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Uko na beef na mimi na sina pesa, don't be stew-pid concentrate na life yako😏✌🏾
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First time kukula dem ana squirt nlikuwa nadhani ananikojolea 😭😭😭
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Ushago vijana wanapeleka wasichana kwa shamba za mahindi wanatoka wakifeel aMaizeing
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Kunde ikiiva in seconds tunaeza sema iyo ndo masekunde🤔🤔
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Mbona nyuki huwaga hazilewi na ziko na mzinga🤔
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Firefighters wakitaka kufutwa kazi huambiwa they are fired ama extinguished🤔🤔
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Unaeza lenga dem mkikuyu ukidhani ako na mimba kumbe ni kushiba ameshiba😂😂😂
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Haha uko na 3k followers na unacompete na msee wa 30k followers kwa giveaways 😂😂🤦🏽♂️hata wewe kuwa serious
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Women will totally screw anything, ju tumekosana mbona sasa ubang mlango😪😪
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If u are making it without a parody account,wewe ni shujaa😂😂✊🏽
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Unaambia dem wako aku-suck, is she a vampire ?🤔🤔
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Dem wangu akienda long call huwaga harpic simu and if she does,ye huongea shit😒😒😏
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Marriage is a business, leta ni lete... lipa stima nilipe maji..tukikosana take what belongs to you. That's why we are marriage partners
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A lot of poor people hate using a vacuum cleaner cause it sucks😪😪
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I know you will ride me like a horse lakini jua kitanda si stable😩😩
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Dem wa carpenter akiona chali yake haezi mbao obviously ataanza kuranda randa💔
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Mbona shule zi huuzia wanafunzi uniforms na ni sare🤔🤔
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Mtu anaeza fanya aje awithdraw outstanding balance yake from safaricom?
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Lang'ata cemetery is overcrowded bana, people must be dying to get in💀🙃
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What would happen if a person died in the living room?🤔
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Lakini sex workers huenjoy in the line of duty😂😂😂
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Dem anakuambia her body is all yours na ako na mwanya kwa meno, whose gap is that?
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Ukipiga dem mkamba finger, fingerprints zinapotea😂😂😂😭
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I'm gonna get myself a crippled girlfriend, hopefully she won't jump into conclusions too.
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Kitambo in 2000s, i knew nothing about kissing.. nlikuwa napewa hug nambao hadi home 😂
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Napenda madem wa juja ..not only are they thick, they are Thika😊
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Unaenda kwa wedding ya wajaluo alafu inaisha ka hujui ni akina nani wameoana😂😂
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Two gays wanted to go to two rivers mall from ruaka ,i told them to go straight
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Nmechoka kujificha ,izo cookies mnaonaga YouTube ni mimi hupika na kuuza.
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You can stand before any man if you kneel before God. Gm 😊😊
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Mnabuy vans mvaange in the name of couples goals alafu zinafade mkiwa talking stage😂😂
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Unasomea cooperative lakini bado u choosing a ron-gai😑😑
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Unashikwa na polisi kahawa west usipo mnunulia kahawa we-ndani😂😂
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Pastor akiona sadaka inakam through alafu aanze kuongea in tongues , tunaeza sema ana-churchisha? 🤔🤔
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Normalize telling ladies lies,they love that shit..telling them the truth won't get you laid.
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Mbona nywele za matako hazigrow kama za kichwa na ziko karibu na sewage?
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Unaoga aje na geisha, oga na panga uji-pange ki-lifebouy😪😪
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My cousin was training to be a morgue attendant, results zimekuja amepass.
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Being a vegetarian is one of the worst misteaks that i will never do😂✌🏾
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I was enquiring about the best rice in the store so he took me to wali-bora😁😁
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Nikiwa mless, nlikuwa nashangaa bwana anaachiaje bibi yake 100bob ya lunch,now i understand..
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Use condoms you can't detect HIV virus with your naked eyes...
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On a serious note, vegetarians hawanaga beef na mtu🙂🤞🏿nice people those ones
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Dark mode ni ya watu weupe, watu weusi for chrissakes u need light in your lives 😪😪😂😂
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Periods za grace zimedelay, call it a grace period.
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Was told marijuana makes u sharp in class, why am i still blunt?😣😣😭
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Ukijua dem wako anacheat ,usiwai mkulia beef just liver and find someone better😌😌
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kiuk ladies huwaga hawacatch feelings ,wanacash in feelings na kama huezani na wao just leave them aloan😌
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Ukienda supermarket alafu uanze kucalculate vitu unabuy, u need to work harder.
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What do we call geese from Portugal? Portu-geese🤔😂😂
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Me as the head of the family,"before we eat these vegetables, lettuce pray 🙂".
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