CR0B@R-J0N3S
@CR0BaR_J0N3S
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London dwelling bear-like humanoid with the sex life of a lethargic panda... snarkey b'stard but feeling the #love and #happy . Occasionally #NSFW
London, England
Joined October 2021
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Pinned Tweet
I used to be a narcissist but now I'm fucking great!
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@SuellaBraverman
The point he was making was: "we don't need to pick on vulnerable people and minorities to win votes"
He was making that point as you were ironically talking about people at work getting disciplined for speaking out.
Andrew Boff has been a Conservative longer than you have been
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@WallStreetSilv
@Adam_Moody4
Because that's what the world needs right now: fascists eliminating the freedom of choice for everyone.
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@fesshole
I remember a female colleague was dating a guy and she came into work one day looking really forlorn.
I asked her what was up and she explained that he had stayed over for the first time and that: "his lunchbox was mainly balls!"
I have never laughed so hard in my life.
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@RishiSunak
You're two immediate tory predecessors did exactly the opposite of these things.
You can't claim credit for trying to undo the problems the Conservatives inflicted on us.
And you forgot:
1. Heat my pool
2. Fly on a private jet (lots)
3. Dodge tax
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@RishiSunak
Am I the only person who thought the police should have probably been going after grooming gangs anyway?
I mean it has always been illegal.
Thank God you're here now to tell the police to fight crime... its not like you've been in the cabinet for 4 years.
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@BladeoftheS
@ThelmaMcNamara3
MPs should not be allowed to use encrypted WhatsApp messages for official government business... End Of... It's undemocratic.
Can you imagine if Rishi Rich stood up in PMQs and just said: "Yeah, WhatsApp me, and I'll let you know."
Big business does not allow WhatsApp for
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@Adam_Moody4
@WallStreetSilv
I wouldnt know anything about that, I'm not vegan and really couldn't give a shit how other people choose to live their lives if it doesn't impact me.
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@Richiemuso
@mimmsy_mimz
Hilarious 😂
She may not have "got what she wants," but she got entirely what she deserved.
You just know she was looking at an easy payday and a life of excess at the taxpayers' expense.
Follow the flow diagram to "f*ck off" land the pair of you!
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So I'm definitely getting a Dad of the Year award this year...
She needs a name 🤔
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@qftnoise
@SuellaBraverman
"That I've ever heard..." What? In the Daily Mail?
I have a daughter, and the last thing on my list of things to worry about for her today is what might happen if she encounters a trans person.
I'd be more concerned if she were to encounter an angry, white gammon of a man.
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Its like the morning after some horrible animal house party!
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Being boring is underrated.
Last night, I showered, drank a mug of tea, felt my blinks taking longer, so I took myself to bed.
7 hours of boring, uninterrupted sleep and I honestly feel blessed.
I'm telling you... boring is a blessing!
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After a long day in the City yesterday, I'm just chilling with the puppy today...
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@bemusedcentrist
@SuellaBraverman
Oh... you want the government to do something?
A bit like the nazi revision of paragraph 175 of.the German penal code on 1st September 1933?
Perhaps you agree with the prominent nazi Wilhelm Frick who in 1927 said: "Men committing unnatural sexual acts... must be persecuted
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As a father to a teenage daughter, I am deeply troubled by the pandemic of sexual violence being perpetrated against women everywhere.
It is time to get a grip and change the law, and female lawyers should be at the forefront of those changes.
Until that change occurs, I would
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So I have just been taken out to a steak restaurant on Park Lane, just round the corner from Hyde Park.
The main course was steak obviously, but when it came to starters, they just put all the starters in the middle of the table and you helped yourself to what you wanted.
They
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@LucyMPowell
I want to know 2 things:
1) Why does the speaker not compel Rish to answer the question he was asked, rather than answering the question he wishes he was asked.
2) Why does Rish tuck his tie into his shirt when visiting a hospital? Does he think he might be asked to perform
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@MikeRos78289782
@WallStreetSilv
@Adam_Moody4
Im sorry, how is being anti-fascism being a communist.
And im not angry or "seething" just pointing out that the world has enough fascism.
Go educate yourself and we'll talk.
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@carolvorders
You don't need to be an engineer to know that RAAC isn't a suitable construction material.
It will turn out that this is one of God knows how many ticking time bombs the tories were hoping to bury until after the election.
They would have loved this to go off on labour's watch.
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Sometimes it's just nice to be somewhere quiet and just be...
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I post so many pictures of the dog, I sometimes forget just what a sweet fella this boy can be.
So, in the interests of balance...
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@bemusedcentrist
@SuellaBraverman
And I couldn't care less for your ignorant opinion... and yet here we are.
If your kids are being taught things and they got more Omega 3 than their old dad, then maybe there's hope for the next generation.
In the meantime, try not to have too many nightmares. I'm sure Suella
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Incoming food porn...
Marinated chicken kebab in ciabatta with salad and homemade tzaziki, herby fries and olives.
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I've given my daughter the day off school today.
I emailed her teacher and said it's a mental health day.
She's fed up of being the tallest and not the smallest and feels life would be better if she were smaller.
It breaks my heart to see her battling herself at 12.
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Just me and the cat tonight.
I wish I could relax like him, but I have to go into London tomorrow to deliver a talk to an audience of 5,000 people!
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Weekend walks with the puppy.
This was more about getting out of my own head than anything else.
Work has been hella stressful and I'm struggling to switch off!
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@ArkminderCo
This advert is triggering for me because its exactly how my gran blew her vagina off...
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Went for a walk today, to get some perspective.
I wanted to feel tiny and this place did the trick.
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@fesshole
This is such a British confession...
"Talk to my partner about sex? Good God no... I'll just secretly make him fat!"
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Incoming food porn...
Thai sweet chilli chicken stir fry with sriracha.
And we are still in calorie deficit.
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I might not be about much.
Im going through a period of great upheaval in every aspect of my life.
I feel guilty because there are so many others less fortunate than me and I really have no place venting about any of this at all.
Im probably just shouting into the wind.
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Bath time and apparently I have to get wetter than the dog!
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Incoming food porn...
Spicy tomato and chicken linguine with wilted spinach and toasted sesame seeds.
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Currently sat at Heathrow awaiting my delayed flight to Poland.
Going away on business for a few days.
Any Poland travel tips gratefully received!
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Took Nellie for a walk this morning and her legs have fallen off apparently...
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Its dinnertime... have some food porn.
Creamy tomato pasta bake with mushrooms and garlic ciabatta...
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In Poland trying to work out how trains work.
I really have no idea what I'm doing. I have what I think is a ticket and I am sat on what i believe to be a train... so who knows?
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If only we had draconian, right-wing anti-immigration laws when Suella Braverman's parents came to the UK as economic migrants in the 1960s... then we might not have to suffer listening to this tripe that is very much a populist play for easy, bigoted votes.
Quite what these US
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All fluffy and clean again!
Nellie says: "Good morning... ah-wuff"
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Don't mind me, just looking for my sex drive!
I swear that these days, I get more excited about days when my knees don't hurt or if I get to try a new cheese.
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Is there anything more draining than trying to be there for someone who doesn't care if you're there or not?!
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There is a very excited boy in my house today as more "sculpture" was delivered - this time for the home office.
Its like how Christmas 1983 should have been... and the excited boy is me.
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We are done walking, apparently.
And yes... she's wearing a bow.
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My uncle died this morning.
He was a quiet man who was diagnosed with a very treatable cancer, but because of covid and NHS backlogs, he did not start chemotherapy for 2 years.
By then it was too late.
He would often ask why the system was so happy to let him die.
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Nellie with Leonard the Lobster.
A scruffy mess, but I love her all the more for it.
Are you listening
@AldiUK
?
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I am back home.
The drive home was absolutely terrifying, but I got here.
Looking forward to starting the day surrounded by familiarity and also to being reunited with the doggo!
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Just when you thought it was safe to put your sunglasses on...
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@EdgarPoop1
@kitten_cobra
I was only saying to my daughter today: "treasure every precious minute of this time that you have where you don't have to share you bed with someone else"
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It's been quite a week.
Dog is ever present, and my car has officially died.
It's my daughter's 13th birthday tomorrow and - as I have done every year since she was born - I have just composed a poem in her card.
I dont know if she'll read it or keep it, but it's what I do.
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When the dog matches the colour scheme of the interior design at your holiday cottage...
#midcenturybeige
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@Adam_Moody4
@WallStreetSilv
I was once approached by a guy on the beach who was carrying a dead seagull that was slicked in oil.
He asked me if he could eat it, and I said "I wouldn't, but it's your call."
Its the only time I've ever advised another human on their diet.
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In a quiet corner of a home office in a galaxy far far away...
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At Heathrow... waiting on a plane... a much needed change of scenery awaits.
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@AntWritesStuff
Once you hit 40, it never stops.
At least you get to sleep though... usually because you have tripped over your own balls and knocked yourself out whilst rushing to the toilet.
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Thought I'd seen the last of this.
I have covid... again. This must be the 7th or 8th time in 3 years.
It's not as bad as the 2020 original, but I still feel quite crappy!
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