Bubs
@BubbyMalloy
Followers
627
Following
15K
Media
87
Statuses
14K
Underneath all of this fat is solid muscle, the body of an 18 year old Her: Well, get off of him
1
19
27
At my age the only threesome I'm interested in is two people pitching in to help me mow the lawn.
3
76
106
I was 5 years old when a bear told me I'm the only one who can prevent forest fires. It's been quite a burden. 🤣
599
573
10K
Newsflash: Your favorite late night show has been replaced with old reruns of Wagon Train
0
2
4
You know . . . really we're all just here to witness each other's mental health deteriorate.
7
110
198
I'm at the age that whenever I see a bathroom I go in to take a pee . . . just as a precautionary measure.
7
84
155
I'm so old that by the time I get done saying "note to self" I've already forgotten what I was trying to note.
2
113
186
The best things in life are free but they are harder to get than the worst things in life, which are also free and in much greater supply.
7
124
200
I am bipolar... so that pretty much means it's all fun & games... until it's fucking not.
6
129
380
Is that pill too big to swallow? Chew it up. Jeez. Do I have to think of everything around here
0
1
1
Beautiful cashier: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY me: oh crap. did I say it out loud
0
3
5
I don't have a bad memory, I just choose to forget a lot of people.
2
112
168
Having successfully made it out of bed this morning, I feel like everything I do from this point forward should end with "TA-DA!!"
7
88
124
All my favorite activities involve a mattress.
5
134
204
If you leave me a voicemail, I'm going to assume your question was rhetorical.
2
93
128
Pity there is no photoshop or filters for "ugly on the inside" people.
8
138
203