MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
@BrotherMohamz
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Following
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Relatable tweets || I indulge in Bants || Cruise || Humor || Outsider 🦍|| MUFC🔴 || 🕋🌙
somewhere on planet earth.
Joined April 2019
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@brendoskii_
You're above iPhone 6 yet you're using the bus. What happened to your sports car?
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Omah lay no be ordinary musician, that guy na mp3 pornstar 😂.
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Guys will take one good picture and use it for three years.
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Anything can happen in school, but the mathematics teacher never falls sick.
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People without jobs seem to have the most fun.
Like who is paying for it?
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Success no be by hard work again oo, na by grace. Even Dangote no fit carry one bag of him own cement.
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If you sweat in a sweater, doesn’t that make you the sweater?
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It’s called proteinous condiment of softened bean mash, not moin moin.
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Living alone is crazy, you’ll realise you haven’t said one word in 5 hours and suddenly start talking to yourself.
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Just designed a website for homeless people, but it doesn't have a homepage.
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@premierleague
I don't understand, did we stop gay people from playing or watching football?
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My friend was telling me how good his girlfriend is in bed and i accidentally replied "I know".
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If you're falling from a ten storey building, David De Gea will save you!!
My man of the match.
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Food has become so expensive, to the extent that pregnant women no dey vomit again.
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Introverts will be like “I know a place”, and then go home.
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After years if studying maths, i finally found the square root.
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Am I the only one who gets nervous when answering or making phone calls?
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If my life was a series, Na burna boy's 'last last' be the background song for this episode.
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9 days without football.
Had to cut my watch in two, just so i could see a Half-Time.
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Dating is basically wondering why someone is single, then finding out.
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Some girls would be expecting gifts, both on their birthdays and your own.
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If you no get money, your love message just be like debit alert to girls.
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At least someone loves me and fights for me, I love you my white blood cells.
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No matter how hard working you are, your boss will always catch you when you’re sitting down or resting.
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I'm not giving any of my children names that begins with the letter "A", Cause i know how it feels to sit in the front seat during an exam.
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Your phone ever been so dry, you start looking through your pictures?
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Growing up is realizing squidward wasn’t the bad guy, spongebob was just annoying.
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"Breakfast foods" don't actually exists, I fit chop moin moin and garri if Sapa choke.
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Girls are so used to complements, that insults stick out to them, and guys are so used to insults that complements stick out to them.
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Imagine your crush sends you a voice note and you run around the house looking for earphones only to hear “I’m dating someone“.
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My Wife: Our son just called me a bitch.
Me: WHAT!!!, Where is that son of a bitch?!!
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Out of the 7 guys you’re talking to, why am I the only one you’re telling you are hungry?
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@_AsiwajuLerry
@FabrizioRomano
I like Ronaldo well too, but you sef reason am, true true wetin he do no good
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Have you ever just spent lots of money and be afraid to check your account balance later?
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Imagine being so single, that when you play a romantic song, no one comes to mind.
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Roses are red, violets are blue, others dey pound yam, but I wan pound you.
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You don't need to communicate with me 24/7 for us to vibe, the place I have for you in my heart will always be there.
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Good morning ☀️, may today be that day that you’ve been waiting for.🙏🏾
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Forget the hype, Burna boy is the afrobeat king right now.
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@_AsiwajuLerry
With the Barca players wey dey Spain squad, them no go help Germany when muller dey there
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This current chapter of my life is called MY TURN, and I'm as unapologetic as fuck for it.
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I think Jesus was too humble when he rose the third day, the guy no make noise. Imagine if it was me?
*Me on the third day
Who dey breeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?!!!!!!
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Stop thinking that you’re ugly. You are, but stop thinking about it.
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Na like this nigerian universities go dey if FG unregister ASUU.
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Do you know?
A doctor hopes you get sick, a lawyer hopes you get sued, a mechanic hopes your car breaks down.
But only a thief wishes you prosperity.
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She finally messaged me after a whole day, now I'm going to make her wait 3 minutes before replying 😁.
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Na portable be the missing piece for that naira marley label.
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Food hits different when you hide it from your siblings and eat.
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When me and my friends attend a wedding/naming ceremony and they tell us the food is finished.
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Good morning, best wishes in whatever you endeavor in today 🙏🏽.
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Who else has that "shey you dey whine me niiiii" song stuck in their heads?
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@_AsiwajuLerry
Would be getting more media attention if he was European, we need to hype our boy man.
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I saw this beautiful girl at the store today, standing at the queue in front of me, when it was her turn to pay, her card was declined. Being the stand up citizen that i am, you'd probably guess what i did. Yes it was a lot of stuff, but i helped her put it on the shelf.
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You got arrested and taken to court?, call lisandro Martinez.
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Nothing increases a guy's blood pressure more than a rich guy wanting his girlfriend.
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