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MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴

@BrotherMohamz

Followers
6,500
Following
6,569
Media
1,850
Statuses
69,986

Relatable tweets || I indulge in Bants || Cruise || Humor || Outsider 🦍|| MUFC🔴 || 🕋🌙

somewhere on planet earth.
Joined April 2019
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
ASUU and FG dey do us like ayra star dey do Malik.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
@brendoskii_ You're above iPhone 6 yet you're using the bus. What happened to your sports car?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Omah lay no be ordinary musician, that guy na mp3 pornstar 😂.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Guys will take one good picture and use it for three years.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@TrollFootball Now I know that Osama is a true gunner
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@UTDTrey Arsenal knows
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Anything can happen in school, but the mathematics teacher never falls sick.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
@Ore__K He’d put a green dot next to your avi showing when last you came online
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
People without jobs seem to have the most fun. Like who is paying for it?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Success no be by hard work again oo, na by grace. Even Dangote no fit carry one bag of him own cement.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
You can just add PhD to your name, no one checks.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
If you sweat in a sweater, doesn’t that make you the sweater?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
@brittyfun @bigdaddyvinz Me as a lawyer : Excuse me your honour, I have screenshots.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@Htdot1 @flxwlxxxx This your food don dey burn comrade, reduce your gas abeg😂😂
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@FabrizioRomano @NizaarKinsella Pep after destroying a team...
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
It’s called proteinous condiment of softened bean mash, not moin moin.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Living alone is crazy, you’ll realise you haven’t said one word in 5 hours and suddenly start talking to yourself.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Just designed a website for homeless people, but it doesn't have a homepage.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@premierleague I don't understand, did we stop gay people from playing or watching football?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
My friend was telling me how good his girlfriend is in bed and i accidentally replied "I know".
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
If you're falling from a ten storey building, David De Gea will save you!! My man of the match.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@_AsiwajuLerry 9th, 11th and 10th on the same day, stay one place make we cook una nah😭😭😭
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Food has become so expensive, to the extent that pregnant women no dey vomit again.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Introverts will be like “I know a place”, and then go home.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
After years if studying maths, i finally found the square root.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Am I the only one who gets nervous when answering or making phone calls?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
If my life was a series, Na burna boy's 'last last' be the background song for this episode.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
@lhin_dar Them even put am under funny tweets
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
9 days without football. Had to cut my watch in two, just so i could see a Half-Time.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Dating is basically wondering why someone is single, then finding out.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
@Ebuka_XO Chelsea
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Some girls would be expecting gifts, both on their birthdays and your own.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
If you no get money, your love message just be like debit alert to girls.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
At least someone loves me and fights for me, I love you my white blood cells.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
No matter how hard working you are, your boss will always catch you when you’re sitting down or resting.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
I'm not giving any of my children names that begins with the letter "A", Cause i know how it feels to sit in the front seat during an exam.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Your phone ever been so dry, you start looking through your pictures?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Man, Chris brown's 'under the Influence' is too addictive.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Growing up is realizing squidward wasn’t the bad guy, spongebob was just annoying.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
"Breakfast foods" don't actually exists, I fit chop moin moin and garri if Sapa choke.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Upgrading your wardrobe is a confidence booster.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Girls are so used to complements, that insults stick out to them, and guys are so used to insults that complements stick out to them.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Imagine your crush sends you a voice note and you run around the house looking for earphones only to hear “I’m dating someone“.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
My Wife: Our son just called me a bitch. Me: WHAT!!!, Where is that son of a bitch?!!
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Hope we survive the things we don't talk about.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Out of the 7 guys you’re talking to, why am I the only one you’re telling you are hungry?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@Jude__Oc My first thought...
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@_AsiwajuLerry @FabrizioRomano I like Ronaldo well too, but you sef reason am, true true wetin he do no good
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Have you ever just spent lots of money and be afraid to check your account balance later?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Imagine being so single, that when you play a romantic song, no one comes to mind.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Roses are red, violets are blue, others dey pound yam, but I wan pound you.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
The ATM when e see me this morning :
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
You don't need to communicate with me 24/7 for us to vibe, the place I have for you in my heart will always be there.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
For the record, na me give Asake the name Mr Money.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Good morning ☀️, may today be that day that you’ve been waiting for.🙏🏾
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Forget the hype, Burna boy is the afrobeat king right now.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@_AsiwajuLerry With the Barca players wey dey Spain squad, them no go help Germany when muller dey there
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
@cycy__hafserh TV channel is channel, I wonder why people change it.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
@HHermeerah You are selling the relationship niyen
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@UTDTrey Let's run it back
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
This current chapter of my life is called MY TURN, and I'm as unapologetic as fuck for it.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
I think Jesus was too humble when he rose the third day, the guy no make noise. Imagine if it was me? *Me on the third day Who dey breeeeeeeeeeeeeeet?!!!!!!
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
You don talk to your crush today?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Good morning ☀️, your loyl never locate you?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Let's grow, drop a ❤️, follow me to grow
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Stop thinking that you’re ugly. You are, but stop thinking about it.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Na like this nigerian universities go dey if FG unregister ASUU.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Do you know? A doctor hopes you get sick, a lawyer hopes you get sued, a mechanic hopes your car breaks down. But only a thief wishes you prosperity.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@the_smallie Them never see anything
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
She finally messaged me after a whole day, now I'm going to make her wait 3 minutes before replying 😁.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Na portable be the missing piece for that naira marley label.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Food hits different when you hide it from your siblings and eat.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@UTDTrey Meanwhile a certain club
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
When me and my friends attend a wedding/naming ceremony and they tell us the food is finished.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
@UTDTrey Chelsea in the top six
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Good morning, best wishes in whatever you endeavor in today 🙏🏽.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
5 years
@SDIYYY Hello
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Stop cleaning your mouth with your curtains.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
Who else has that "shey you dey whine me niiiii" song stuck in their heads?
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
If I call you twice and you no pick, have a nice day 👍🏽.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@_AsiwajuLerry Would be getting more media attention if he was European, we need to hype our boy man.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
I saw this beautiful girl at the store today, standing at the queue in front of me, when it was her turn to pay, her card was declined. Being the stand up citizen that i am, you'd probably guess what i did. Yes it was a lot of stuff, but i helped her put it on the shelf.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@mister_ade5 All this won’t matter in heaven
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
When they come to pick you up from school early.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
1 year
@UTDTrey God, I LOVE THIS TEAAAMMM
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
2 years
You got arrested and taken to court?, call lisandro Martinez.
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@BrotherMohamz
MHD🇳🇬🇯🇲🌴
3 years
Nothing increases a guy's blood pressure more than a rich guy wanting his girlfriend.
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