The Drunk Uncle
@Brii_wa_tsotsi
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A Professional Couch Potato || Faithful kalanga man || Manchester United || it's your duty to please the booty || Life depends on the liver
Gaborone
Joined March 2010
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How does one edit CV e tshwerweng ke their current employer? Ke bata go ntsha line ya "I work well under pressure" 😩😩
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Ne ke jola le baby girl wa mo zulu. Go le nice. Cross boarder things. Joburg ne ke sa mmone ka sepe, ke kgona go phakela ke tswa teng ka Monday ke ya tirong😂😂😂
Go tshwana le cohabitaion, vat n sat! Never ever in this lifetime am i pulling such a stunt again. Worst 6 months of my life😂😂😂
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Sometimes I would want to watch football, taabo go timiwa tv a bo gotwe "talk to me, entertain me" ENTERTAIN ME JANG RE JEWA KE NEWCASTLE??? 😭😭😭
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One thing about Batswana women, they will love you okare ba jesitswe. Contrary to social media belief, most of them accept and live with the bare minimum we bring as majita. They will put a man on a pedestal and worship the ground he walks on.
It’s beautiful to observe.😂❤️
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I was tired of drinking vegetables, i was tired of morning walks, i was horny, i missed football and groove😭😭😭😭 she finished school, moved back to SA. We dated for about 3 months after that we broke up. Ke bakile! I threw away that fucken blender.
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Le dijo tsa mo lapeng ke ha di chencha. We stopped buying meat. It was just vegetables. Le gone we never ate those vegetables, we drank them😭😭😭 She bought a blender and everytime I say I am hungry, o utwa blender bo lela in the kitchen. Fucken hated that thing😭😭
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We have matching t-shirts and I think that if we meet for coffee at 18:30 CAT at Capello in CBD this Friday we might find that we have matching hearts too. But also If you’re busy with a relationship this Friday, we can rain check for the Friday after y’all break up.
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I just got off a call, had a chat with the gentleman and as we spoke I asked gore ke bua le mang and he said "O bua le Motsoko" and I responded ke re "wa ga mang?" 😔🤦🏾♂️💔 His real name is Mr. Motsoko. A potential client.
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The Kalanga language is the French of Botswana. Imagine denying yourself the opportunity to be called "nthu wangu"
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I will never be amused by that Facebook gang. Bo Kwete, BJB, Penene Ponono (or whatever his name is). Disgusting bunch.
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I drank carrots and spinach for dinner every night. At this point i didn't even recognise my own farts😭😭 Ha ele sex yone ne ke e bonela mo Game of Thrones😭😭😭😭
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Ke tsogile ke gopotse "Doors open at 2200hrs, Free entry before 2300hrs, P100 thereafter" 😔💔
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Go bata sex e ha ya batho ba ba sumang hela. Go sa buiwe bo "baby this, fuck me that". Le suma hela okare le kukile fridge.
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My boss says if we want to go take the jab in SA we should tell him and he will pay for the PCR test. Ke bitswa yo ileng gale😭😭😭❤️
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She woke me up one saturday and told me we should walk from Phaks to APJ and back! I DIDN'T WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT😭😭😭 we argued, I gave in. I remember re tsamaya ha turn off ya glen valley, robot ya Sebele ke ha ele kgakala, there was even a mirage 😭😭😭 I almost died that day
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Waitse monna re imetswe. Just witnessed someone jump off the BTV bridge
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Guys I'm not going to lie, you will never go wrong with this guy. My mans will give you his undivided attention, make sure that you leave o rata dithako tsa koloi ya gago. You can tell that he is doing it ka passion. I am glad he has ventured out on his own. Do check him out.
Hi guys. This is my friend Debbie
Debbie has been working for a big Tyre Company for a few years now
Debbie decided to take a huge Step and open his own Tyre Company. That’s his workshop on the right
So please still In the Spirit of pushing BW. For all your Tyre needs please
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A rare picture of a man getting ready to lie under oath, unprovoked.
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This will forever seal me😭😭😭😭
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Go jola looks like a very beautiful concept when you looking at it from the outside.
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May I please have your full names and contact details so I add you as the sole beneficiary to my policies. Ke ta ipolaa once you’re added so you can feast. 🥹🥹
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I hope Roselyn April are your real names because I have just added you as the sole beneficiary to my Life Insurance policy.
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I'd sell my brother into slavery to the highest bidder just to get your phone number in the wrong order. This isn't about you anymore, i hate my brother and just want him gone
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Maphorisa ke DJ. Madumane ke Star.
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thebanna if any of you has files on me, tsena ko DM re bue. I’m a medium-rare gent with a mokhamba. I won’t survive being dragged on twitter😫😩
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Ma'am, I would sell my whole family into slavery just to have your number in a scrambled order 😍🥺😭
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To be quiet honest, these “from mine to yours” posts that have been floating all day were so beautiful. Wholesome content 🤍
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Kana baby girl ya Tlokweng e ne ya ncheata ka mvana yo nkgang monate. Ke ne ka latha perfume ya Axe ka thwaafalla go reka cologne😩😩😩
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"Ncheke ko Ghana" ends in marriage.
"Ncheke mo Maruapula" ends with screenshots trending mo TL accompanied by attacks
From DM to getting married to building a family . Happy birthday to my beautiful Alexia🎈❤️. I love you! 🎉
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Drunk called my mom once on some "ah ke go cheke" at 2am. Got a call from my dad the following morning saying "so o cheka basadi ba rona ka bo 2 bosigo ha re robetse monna?"😩😩
My kids drunk call me. All the time.
“Mama, I loooooove you. I just want to tell you mama. I love you Mama! Mama we! Maaaaa!” That time the music is loud and they’re wailing on the phone. “Mamaaaaaa!!!!!” What an emotional bunch. I love them. 🤣❤️
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Ok Listen up! Kgantele ka 6pm, ha go ka iragala gore ba bue gore bojalwa bo ta bulelwa, let's act like we don't care anymore. Re ska itumela thata. Remember what happened the last time? Yah, let's keep straight faces and contain our excitement. Sharp!
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Ke lorile truck ya Sefalana e ole, a bo ke sela mahura a le 2 ke sia. The truck driver singled me out from the whole crowd and ran after me😫😩 motho go nkalola until a ntshwara😭😭😭
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Drop a smile pic for no reason
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Koore ha o bona curfew ya SA e isitswe ko go 9pm jaana, warona wa go baa yarona ko go 2pm😭😭😭😭
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What’s the worst text you’ve received from your baby girl after missing a couple of her calls?
“Araba lebelete ke wena”😭😭😭
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Also, if I’m dating a 10, a hun hela who is out of my league, and you see her cheating, please look the other way!
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Wrap yourself up ka fleece ngwana wa ko gae. Mo ga di cuddles go a tsalelwa.
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I remember when ke santse ke le laitinyana I took this baby girl out for some drinks ko Liban. She ordered Long Island. I think it was just a little under 100bux. Baby girl yole e rile ha a tsamaya mo go ya bo 4, ke ha ke utwa Heineken e simolola go taste jaaka brake fluid 😭😭😭
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Le14 la mo tirong la re le bata re ya ko The Bando ka Friday for lunch. Ke dumetse hela. The Bando ke kae?
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Good morning. Just a friendly reminder that nobody cares about your birthday. It's December. You should've been born earlier in the year, when we had energy.
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Losing a baddie and seeing her become even more beautiful and attractive??? You will die a slow death my G. You will swallow bricks.
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Couples 30seconds is where I draw the line! I'm not about to test the strength of my relationship ka my partner's inability to describe Nelson Mandela 😩😩😩
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Eating Nandos in an office full of people ba ba iseng ba amogele is exactly what Nelson Mandela died for❤️
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If you my girl and you take the pink pill, you going to be horny for 71hours 57minutes because 3minutes is all you getting from me baby girl.❤️
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Same. This has been the worst year of my life. I hit rock bottom, lost very valuable friendships, lost myself, tota hela at some point I was just existing. However, the turn of events was amazing. Got a very big promotion at work & won fuel voucher ya ko Puma ya whole year😂😂
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I was reading the Bible earlier on and when I got to the book of Numbers, I also realized I don’t have yours. 🥺
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I remember our biggest argument was when she said I should quit beer. We argued so much that I left that night and slept in the car. I parked at a spot ya guys ba G4S and slept there. Spent the whole day with them after telling them my story. Went back home ka bo 10pm.
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Jokes and 2 rounds. Tota focus thata on the jokes rather than that last one, because it can be a joke too 😔
In a relationship . What do you bring to the table ??
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You are thicker than a slice of polony cut by an unemployed uncle🙌🙌🔥🔥🔥
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Tau e beile botsetsi mo Western Bypass block 8, just before Airport Junction traffic lights
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Akanya o dule ko lapeng o itse gore o kopolotse thipa ya bofebe, only for you to test positive for all these ka bo past 3 motshegare. 😩😫 Now the Henny tastes like domestos and iPlan sounds like Joko Ya Hao E Bobebe😭😭
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Scenes when Sisiboy ka 2023 a re tsaya ka flush. A oketsa minimum wage, a neela bo tenderboy di tender tse di serious, a oketsa le di salary tsa di civil servants a bo a ira gore bojalwa bo nne cheap cheap and available. Ha a tswa foo ka 2024 a bo a re bitsa a bo re ya😭😭😭
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Go tshwana le cohabitaion, vat n sat! Never ever in this lifetime am i pulling such a stunt again. Worst 6 months of my life😂😂😂
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Do you know how far Maun is for you to be carrying so much anger to go fight someone??? Nna ekare ke tsamaya ha Motopi a bo ke go itshwaretse😩😫
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😭😭😭
I sent this man a VN singing happy birthday and he ignored it and went offline 😭😭😭 was it my voice?
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We really need to find and learn the lyrics to Zakes Bantwini song. We can't be out here sounding like we summoning demons at groove 😩😩😩
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Water is such an underrated beverage. Highly recommended.
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When I look at di space tsa
#BWTwitter
I compare them to setup ya classroom 😂😂😂. Here is how;
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So about 7 months into the relationship, baby girl tells me that she has been trying to apply for school (COP) and go a pala. So I tell her to come do it this side, I will pay. (This was during pillow talk, a time at which I made major decisions without hesitation🤦🏾♂️)
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La utwa gore go buiwa jang gents, OUR pregnancy 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤️
Long promised my wife we would do this challenge! Today being the last day of our pregnancy seemed like the perfect opportunity ❤️
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Ladies, If you see a sexy scrumptious thang in a black suit and white shirt roaming the streets of CBD, please contain yourselves, it’s just me.
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Spend it wisely young king, invest in a house.
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I can't believe there people on this app defending Khama on some "Please explain how he was a horrible president, what did he do?" Like they were not here between 2008 to 2019. Le gone e le youth. Ga ke dumele gothelele.
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Kgantele when I walked into the photoshoot ke with ke kopolotse the 3 top buttons of my shirt and the lady o ke berekang le ene wa mokgatla was like "naare o tsaa gore o tsile photo shooting ya di bene tsa Calvin Klein? Kopela masepa ao o lese gore tshamekisa" 😭😭😭
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This would have been a very great picture maloba hale after the victory
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Go bata crying session hela re le lehatshe. Re kopanele ko stadium hela a bo re se thuga for 45mins then go home.
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I'm not gonna lie, that relaxer story caught me off guard. 😂😂😂😂
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I like how my leader
@KenzarMafia
started, e rile bafana ba tsenya video ya studio sa kitchen, ene ke ha a lathela senepe sa ditapole... Everyone laughed. Now big man is throwing in high quality pictures tsa di kebab di tshasiwa plascon😭😭🔥🔥
#TeamKenzar
#KenzarVsMFCookoff
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Bagaetsho, if you having sex tonight, please dedicate 1 round to me 🥺🥺🥺
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Guys, if my tweets offend you, please don’t try to locate me to deliver hands. Petrol ya tura. Rather Hit me up here. I fold easily and quickly 😩😫
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The cleaning lady at work is away because of COVID-19. They outsourced spane sa gagwe. I've been with this company for 6years and have never seen it this clean😂. Le14 le le tseneng le theogetse monna!
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Nna ha le ta go mpolelela gore motho wame wa cheat, le ntele replacement ya gagwe 😭😭😭 otherwise ntogeleng le sfebe same
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Sooo, no one thought of screaming a re "fotshek!"? Ne le ya go utwa ka nna throughout that video😭😭😭
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Dear All,
Wishing you nothing but a prosperous victorious new year. 🥳🥳🥳
Kind regards,
Big Daddy Tjo Nna Wee
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Aubrey must jst ask his uncles back in limpopo to organise an arranged marriage... he jst wont make it on his own shem...
#DateMyFamily
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How many times have you been in love? I mean, when you look back at all your relationships, how many times would you say you were truly deeply purely in love? Nna self nka re a proper strong 2 times. Wena?
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I told her it was because there was no traffic then, owaii, go tsene ka fa go tswa kafa😭😭😭 then came the time when she wanted to lose weight and tone up. Fuck I was in hell!😭😭😭 Jer decision ainvolved me. Ke gore we BOTH had to lose weight and eat healthy😩😩
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Kana nkile ka sendela motho sms ke re "I have made a promise to myself, that your lips will be the last lips I ever kiss" a sena go nthaa a re it's over😭😭😭😭😭😭
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O monte okare o full tank ka di 13 tsa ga January😍😍😍
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Tota hela ga ke itse gore le bata go tewa gotweng gents... If you a going to look at 16yr olds ka leitho la keletso, and defend it by saying ke di "young adults", or that physically they are"ready" and you feel that's ok, then ga ke itse tota gore o bata re go raya re reng...
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I am not going to sit here and lie to you guys, the sex was GREAT!!!😂😂😂 That is probably the main reason for all the decisions I made in that relationship.
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30 seconds ga e bate le le couple😭😭😭
Let’s hear the worst hint you’ve got while playing 30 seconds🤣🤣
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Ne ka bona gore bobelete ga bo busetse after I had to watch Think Like A Man 4 times and had to pretend like I was seeing it for the 1st time on all ocassions 😩😩
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The older women in this office have gotten a little too comfortable around me it's scary. Yo mongwe ke yo o mpolelela ka ha a letseng a jelwe monate ke nyatsi ka teng ebile okare o ka mo latela ka lunch a ya go ja seboaboane 🤦🏾♂️
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