Chico Fiesta
@BrandonColon09
Followers
2K
Following
36K
Media
2K
Statuses
24K
hospitality is my forté | being on time is not | stay at home father | professional knitter | scrabble enthusiast | Anne Hathaway's #1 fan
New York, NY
Joined November 2015
i was guy 559. i honestly felt like we had a real connection.
NEW: OF creator says she has broken a world record by sleeping with 1,057 men in 12 hours. OF is destroying this generation. The creator has bragged about sleeping with "barely legal" teenagers & husbands who cheat on their wives. The pervert, who was recently seen preying on
2K
5K
191K
Riley Leonard probably watching film w his position coach rn while PSU’s guy is getting drained from the sun…and possibly miami’s finest hooley dooleys.
8
1
785
I don’t want a plus one on the guest list, I want a minus one. The right to choose 1 person that will be ejected from the club, no questions asked.
6
100
615
@JackMacCFB i just don’t think there’s any reason for my Miami stripper fuck machine/semi ex who can barely speak english to lie not knowing anything about college football lmao.
23
2
619
1. i can tell you’ve never even gotten into common ground. 2. the tickets were $400, not $150 😭.
Mid 20’s NYE in NYC starter pack:. • Pregame of 10 dudes, 0 chicks in Windsor Court.• $150 ticket each to open bar at Common Ground (9-1).• Bro visiting from NJ gets way too drunk at the pregame (off Casamigos).• Other bro says Lizzie from college and her 9 friends are.
4
3
225
2
17
194
alexander graham bell: i invented the telephone!. his brother, taco: i’m also working on some pretty big stuff.
2
13
176
joe rogan: the titanic movie was fake because ice could never damage a metal ship. guest, historian: no it was real, that happened. joe: not possible no. if i whack an ice cube with a hammer, which one is gonna break . guest: that’s not the same thi-. joe: jamie google hammers.
0
17
141
Not my mom telling me she still talk to my ex bc I still talk to her ex… MA that’s my DAD 😭.
2
6
85
I am a firm believer that people who are meant to be in your life will come back no matter how far they may wander.
2
56
80
Gonna start a bar where people can eat handfuls of shredded cheese over the kitchen sink, but in a social way.
5
8
84
*explaining chicago style pizza to someone* imagine an above-ground pool.
3
6
71
gender reveal party:.-boring.-only 2 outcomes.-too much socializing. father reveal party:.-exciting.-many outcomes.-party may end early.
3
11
59
When some roided out 42 year old dude try's to sucker you at brunch bc his ex likes you more than him. #hestough
7
14
58
@JackWilson_III @JackMacCFB this girl is 100% in miami,.on a boat. that i can guarantee. whether or not it’s him, that i can’t confirm. like i said, she’s a stripper that barely knows what a first down is.
5
0
64
@Patrick0615 @Jokeeee_ Nah man, Kirk actually has his moments. This MFer got literally nothing lmao.
2
0
60
I promise she’s not flirting with you. She’s literally just hot and talking.
7
10
59
I may not be the brightest crayon in the tool shed but at least I'm great at analogies.
0
47
7
Ma’am, that season was 11 years ago.
There’s a QB right there in New Jersey who took a team to a Super Bowl and a NFC championship game. Rhymes with Happernick.
3
3
50
me: i don't know if these shrooms are working. pikachu voiced by george clooney: take more.
5
1
45
S/o to @Garry_Gilliam on getting that W today. Played like a mad man, per usual. Next stop. DIVISIONAL ROUND! #GOHAWKS.
0
28
39
Hate when mofos at the club try to act tough because I’ve been in the bathroom for 45 minutes. I got here first. I’m not doing coke. I’m shitting and playing games on my phone. I paid the cover so I’m allowed to be in here.
3
2
43
RIP to the iPod. Kids today will never know the glory of having these all listed as different artists. Panic At The Disco.panic at the disco.Panic @ the Disco.Panic! at Th. .
0
4
41
Please wear a condom on .February 14th. I hate scorpios.
2
4
39
Ladies: . If he still chooses to wear a mask while flying, he’s not gonna do that thing you like.
0
3
40
So far this is the tweet of 2017. Y'all have 363 more days to top it
New year, new me. *blacks out NYE, gets McDonalds breakfast, takes 5 naps a day and doesn't move from bed for a solid 30 hours*.
0
24
35
I mean, Donald Trump schooled him AND Cruz (national debate champ at Harvard LOL) in many of the primary debates in 2016 by talking in circles and saying tremendous a lot
0
0
33
@JackMacCFB listen i’m just sharing info. something that broad Pelosi never decides to do. i’m trying to figure out the same as everyone else, meanwhile this girl i used to call “cock máquina” only concern is that i’m not going to the game w her. oh and ppl are def calling her burner number
9
1
39
@JuicyJRandle @JackMacCFB photo she posted on her personal story. you can see the bottom as it’s in her album
4
0
38
We get it bro. You’re having a meal at a hibachi restaurant.
2
0
37
Nearly 60% of Minisink Valley's current school district population are first generation transplants from NYC, LI, NJ, or elsewhere. More times than not. families choose to live there over "Washingtonville" bc your athletic & academia climate has consistently been awful for years
@john_mack_3 @wizardnationwhs You're all cousins.
0
7
37
MV baby!
Minisink Valley senior libero Molly Clayton is the Varsity 845 volleyball player of the year
0
32
31
are u even at the cheesecake factory if there isn’t a group of unsupervised 15 year old girls there dressed like they’re going to the met gala.
0
5
32
5 foot 8 white kid from Clemson that looks like he's 12 we all just found out is Alabama's kryptonite.
1
17
29
Taking applications for a girlfriend to power couple with this summer. Must be at least 5'7 and must know how to twerk. Bcolon324@gmail.com.
2
1
31
I love how music takes you away to another place. For example, Creed is playing at this bar, so now I'm going to another bar.
2
10
32
Crazy story. (From last week). A wife & mother of 2 was in my lobby waiting for her friend to get home from work. She sees me walking into my building, groceries in hand, and comes up to me and asks if she can come up to my apartment. Kinda taken aback I go…uhh is everything ok?.
1
1
33
THERAPIST: i’d like you to try acting more confident . ME: ok [clears throat] i KNOW im the worst.
0
5
31
No darling, your love life isn't "complicated". You're just fucking a guy who won't call you his girlfriend.
0
10
31
wikipedia: please. please just give me one dollar i'm begging you give me anything. me: [trying to look up who the first person to milk a cow was] shut the fuck up.
0
5
32
GIRL AT BAR: So what do you do?. ME: I race cars. HER: That’s so cool. Have you won many races?. ME: No, the cars are much faster.
0
3
32
Girl I met on Saturday who had to tell me how great her BJs were lol. I was like… YEAH SURE. To be fair, was top notch lol
5
1
31
@BarstoolTrent @KFCBarstool There’s only one water tower that matters. And it’s in Urbania, Ohio. Home of the O’Shea brothers. and of course. Becky the Icebox
1
2
26
@inyourlivinroom @ClayTravis Clemson beating Alabama in 2019 44-16. Shutting them out in the 2nd half. Bama was #1 going in.
6
0
31
I’ve decided. The new Paris Café will be 25+ on weekend nights. In this business, you gotta set yourself apart from the rest. It’s about creating anomalies and becoming one. Happy to be the first bar in NYC to have this rule in a long time.
1
1
29
Guys family might have rigged the 50/50 but it was pretty cool seeing a MV grad at the Mets game big screen #Mayos
0
3
27
girl: I come from old money. me: *waving around a nickel from 1945* this doing anything for you.
1
4
29
Trick or treating in the Northeast sucked shit growing up because I could never be just spider man I was always spider man with a fucking jacket.
5
0
25
Make your parents proud, your enemies jealous and yourself happy.
3
12
28
@joshtpm @AshaRangappa_ Say what you will. Peter Strzok does not lack intelligence or the capabilities to convey his adamant feelings lol.
0
4
19
i want the Titanic people found so i can see them go on tv and try to justify why they paid 250K to get in an unregulated submarine steered by a playstation controller.
0
0
26
I remember looking at my cousin’s lamborghini poster as a kid and telling myself that one day I would have one and now here I am today proudly looking at my very own lamborghini poster.
2
0
26
Me: *carefully going around the victims body with chalk*. Detective: We don’t usually outline the balls. Me: oh I’m not a cop lol.
0
3
27
@josephsessa3 @thefake_mglocks Open Bar at Common Ground for anyone that went to Minisink this Friday to celebrate Yale Lax and Sessa09. Vigs has to pay $50, everybody else free admittance. Carli B will be performing and Lakeman will be checking IDs at the door.
0
3
25
no you didn’t.
Amy Schumer: I backed out of ‘Barbie’ because it wasn’t feminist enough
0
1
26
A lot of people edit photos. I get it. Even I, myself, have made myself tanner…or whitened my teeth in a smile. That being said-. These grossly divergent faceapp edits and whatever other apps people are using are insane. THAT IS NOT YOU. 😭😭😭 Not by a mile.
2
2
25
confused why "you'll be sleeping with the fishes" is considered a threat. i'm always tired and have an interest in marine life. it sounds nice.
0
2
26
Are you really a 24 year old girl living in Murray Hill if Parry Lee didn't like your Instagram post ?.
0
10
19
That’s awesome. The men will make millions upon millions from their respective club teams, which the women don’t have the same access to. Also, the women being as dominant as they’ve been…have helped grow soccer in this country exponentially. 👏🏼.
Because of US Soccer's new equal pay agreement, men and women split World Cup prize money. With the USMNT advancing today, the two teams will each receive $6.5 million minimum. That's more than the USWNT got for winning both the 2015 and 2019 World Cups combined: $6 million.
2
2
25
Tell him it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality
0
17
21
Today I wanted to wish a very happy birthday to Gretchen Wieners. Love that girl
2
2
22
I cried. A lot
Mandy Harvey, who is deaf, belted out crystalline notes on “America’s Got Talent” and left the audience in tears
1
0
22
thank you ❤️.
@BrandonColon09 This makes sense, I was guy 560 and she seemed really distracted.
0
1
26
You in her DMs. I’m currently fucking her, . but she’s a whore so you prob next tbh lol.
0
2
22
They just played 'Levels' and this girl was going so crazy she slipped off the booth and cracked her two front teeth. I shit you not. Has to be from Bergen County. Has to be.
0
1
21
I swear not one person cares what your AI photos look like. Not even half a person. Not even a midget.
1
3
24
I had just dropped out of college. Moved back to the city to pursue a career in hospitality. Knew nobody. Knew nothing. Just a drive & a dream.
1
1
24