Tim Hall
@BottomhandBlues
Followers
2,373
Following
437
Media
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Statuses
11,524
Just some guy that wears a cowboy hat and punches cows for a living. Eat more beef, ride good horses, and always take your hat off indoors.
Wyoming, USA
Joined March 2011
Don't wanna be here?
Send us removal request.
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Pinned Tweet
Cows are the only thing that can simultaneously annoy the ever loving shit out of me and bring me all the joy in the world at the same time
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To the gal who dumped me a few weeks ago because "The hassle of dating a rancher wasn't worth the time and effort"
I've had 15 calves in the last 48 hours and you could've pet Every. Single. One.
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This you?
And spare me the “many women don’t know they’re pregnant for 6 weeks.”
Whores. Only whores wouldn’t know for six weeks.
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@uhparking
@iasimeany
@UHouston
Call a tow truck and have them take the car to your house. Remove the windshield at your house and have a glass company install a new one. Tow bill should be about 60-80 bucks. New windshield should be about 150. Keep the schools device. Fuck em.
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@realbrockturner
@BasRuttenMMA
can we do a bully beat down and let you have 3 minutes in the ring with this guy? I'd love to see the damages
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By that logic I'm not drunk driving in Minnesota as long as I slammed those 18 beers on my own free will.
Congratulations, you've just told millions of women that their choices negate their right to not be assaulted.
Rape victims not "mentally incapacitated" if they got drunk on their own, Minnesota Supreme Court rules
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The kid I went to school with, who cut off the head of a chicken and fucked the body, is in a happy relationship and expecting a child. Meanwhile I'm at the bar wondering how to read this gals signals... What kinda sick twisted shit is this?
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It's mine. No, it ain't brand new. No, it ain't a show truck. No, it ain't got the biggest sleeper and most comfortable seats. And no, it ain't perfect. But it's got a strong engine, it's got 10 good tires and lots of life left. IT'S MINE. And y'all, I'm scared to death.
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Ranch hands are the only people on Earth who are mechanics, plumbers, heavy equipment operators, electricians, home and shop builders, and engineers all in one. But if you ask us what we do for a living every one of us will say "Ohh I run cows for ____________"
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I think I'm done with dating. Anyone wanna form a mutual agreement with me to ranch cattle and occasionally get dressed up to go to town together?
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@_aylahhh
@WhitedsWife
It's common courtesy to acknowledge anyone standing directly next to someone you know.. at the same time though if your Significant other doesn't introduce you as one of the first actions when seeing someone new that says alot.
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I'm way too fucking drunk to be on Twitter right now but here I fucking am boys
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I'm gonna create an onlyfans but it'll literally just be me yelling creative obscenities at cattle while I'm working them.
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I don't care who you are, you won't outwork an old rancher or farmer. The boss' 80 year old dad came down to visit during first cutting and was putting in 15-18 hour days. That work ethic is unbeatable
My father is 91 years young. Hasn’t missed a harvest yet. Still runs one of our combines. Last year he put in over 100 hrs behind the wheel. He has seen farming evolve from horse and plow to today’s technology. Never a dull moment with him out in the field .
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@BasRuttenMMA
@realbrockturner
True story. He deserves much more than a few days in the cell
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Strippers became less cool when I found out the pole spins.
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"Cowgirls can do everything a cowboy can do- they just look better doing it" -Anonymous
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Sir, you are in fucking Cody, Wyo.... Why on earth do you have a rebel flag on your porch and truck? You realize you're closer to Canada than you are the confederate states right?? He'll half of the people in Cody sound Canadian to me. You just look dumb now.
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Being a 1st gen cow hand is tough, I didn't grow up throwing loops, I wasnt raised working cattle, I wasn't taught how to doctor calves at a young age. Sure my dad was a pen man in the PBR for a while. But I was young young. He's an outlaw trucker, not a cowboy. I've had to climb
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I just bought a truck on a handshake. No minimum payments, not a single bit of "I want every bit of the money by this date"...
It was simply "I want ___ for it. I know your word is good Tim. Pay me when you can"
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Here I present y'all the fastest route from Rock Springs to Cheyenne, Wyoming during the winter months.
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Boys, when you finally find your special gal, aim to treat her like Cletus treats Sydney.
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CCR is not Cross Canadian Ragweed you uncultured vermin
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For the longest time I used to think rape was only to describe the brutal, clothes being ripped, held down, violent action kind of molestation. That idea changed as I grew older. If it wasn't consented, it was rape. No matter how gentle they were physically. Tell someone. Anyone.
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98% of the people on earth have no business owning pets.
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Want to know why I hate horse rescues?
These two horses are at an auction close to my aunt. The local rescue has stated they are going to do everything they can to keep them from going to slaughter in order to give them "a better life"
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Reply with your coolest cow pictures y'all. Twitter needs more photos of em.
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"Fuck the governor and fuck his mask order. Come on in and eat." - the sign at the little Colorado diner I just ate at.
I think most people don't understand how little this state is actually democratic. The big cities rule because population is insane there.
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First cutting this year came out certified weed free again. Now if the feed grade test come back as good or better than last year's, we'll be pretty happy.
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If I ever see you using this method, just know I will never trust a single thing you say about cattle, and I will assume the rest of your operation is ran like shit.
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My bosses: “How are you not finding anyone? I’m sure there’s a selection of single western type girls and women in agriculture around here”
Me: *wanting a big tittied alt girl with piercings and a shit ton of tatts that may or may not have ever been within 10 foot of a horse😂😂
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Growing up I had "Don't walk behind a horse or you might get kicked" grilled into me from everyone I knew.
Now most people I know are like "If you can't walk behind your horse without worrying you'll get kicked; it's not a good horse."
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Pops took out, fully rebuilt and installed his Eaton 10 speed in 12 hours. Total downtime on the rig was 14 hours and that includes the time it took to tow home. I could never.
P.s. he had a cold beer on him the entire time.
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My neighbor bought 45hd of 8+ year old herefords off big iron for $825/hd. He's had 3 sets of twins and all are healthy. He's got 17 more to calve. Damn he won big on that one.😂
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So a friend gave me her tinder account to troll on the dudes that hit her up... And all I can honestly say is I'm not entirely sure how women date men at all😂 the cringe is unreal
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Not one single person:
Everybody in Wyoming simultaneously including me:
"ANYWAYS DID YOU KNOW IT'S FUCKING SNOWING?!?! YOU GUYS DON'T KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO HAVE HARD COUNTRY, IT SNOWS ALMOST EVERY MONTH HERE. IVE EVEN SEEN IT SNOW ON THE 4TH OF JULY!!!"
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If this is the 3rd year in a row your 4h steer has died, I think I would take a look at your cattle raising practices.
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Walmart in Cody is paying $17.50/hour and the McDonalds is starting at 18/hour.
WHY AM I STILL GETTING UP AT 2AM TO STACK HAY??
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I sexually identify as a microwave dinner. I'm done in 5 minutes and look nothing like the photos.
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It's funny to think when I was 17 I had my life planned to a T.
I'm so far behind where I thought I'd be it's hilarious😂
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Being 100% Democrat or 100% Republican, and being so scared of the other party that your main goal is to vote them completely out of office is a mental illness and you won't change my mind.
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There's a snap-on truck parked at the neighbors house and it's never been there before... So who's the one getting fucked, my neighbor or his wife?
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Occasionally I take a break from raising beef the common man can afford, to cutting hay for the psychotic horse chicks out there.
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Ok but what will castration solve? Rapists will still rape. Penetration can still happen. Bullet. In. Brain.
Men convicted of rape will be castrated in Nigeria under new law
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@yvngpeshwa
@uhparking
@iasimeany
@UHouston
It will. But at that point you've taken some of their power. If you cant drive your car they own you. You'll have to pay it otherwise you have no way to get to work, home, anything. You take your property back and suddenly they have to settle somehow.
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I swear the two absolute most useless and dumb dog breeds are golden retrievers and labs.
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I live in a town of 150 people. It's a tiny tiny town. But the little gas station here has already had 600 transactions this morning. You fuckers need to stay in your own states. Take your ratty ass pop up campers and leave.
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Sometimes I hate this industry more than anything else....
Thanks for the last 4 years ol girl. I'm sorry things ended how it did.
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I got pulled over today for 104 in a 70 and got a fucking warning💀💀
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If Jo Jorgensen wins the the election I probably won't even remember honestly because I'll be to HIGH ON GETTING MY PERSONAL LIBERTIES BACK.
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My dad took his 1300 mile trip like this. He got his atlas at home and mapped it out to know where he was going. When the bosses asked why he didn't use GPS he said "I don't trust them sumbitches."
Talk about old school trucker.
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Why in the hell would you go to a steakhouse and order chicken? CHICKEN?!?!
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In the span of 12 hours, we've had a heifer calve a 93 pound bull, and a 4th calver calve a 51 pound bull... both out of the same field covered by the same bull. So if you ever needed proof that EPD's are only suggestive there you go.
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"Never marry someone who won't have sex before marriage. If they won't fuck you before the ring, the damn sure won't afterwards"
- 80 year old cowboy during coffee this morning
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Honestly from now on I'm just gonna kick you to the curb if you respond with shit like "ya" or "Nm wbu?" If you can't carry on a conversation then I want no part of pursuing something with you. We're grown ass adults here. Talk like one.
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This is cool as hell!
No disabilities here, only abilities! John Ray, 12, who lives with muscular dystrophy, works on his family farm in Kenilworth thanks to a new track chair. You can read the full story at
#OntFarmerNews
#OntAg
#AgTwitter
#Accessibility
#FarmLife
#CdnAg
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@AmMiller1112
Just remember Austin, every guy in a fraternity was willing to put a dick in his mouth to get there.
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When your other half asks how much you spent on the new horse and saddle that's hitched outside.
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You're not even old enough to buy cigarettes or rent a car. Probably shouldn't be bragging that you let a 40 year old rail you for a tally mark on his bedpost
@wildlandragland
i just think it’s funny a “grown man” is obsessed with what someone else sticks their dick into 🥴💀 btw, dane is amazing in bed. you probably can’t relate but it seems you haven’t had enough pussy for anyone to be on your side about this 😂🤷🏼♀️
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Things covid restrictions have made me better at:
Taking a ranch truck and 32' stock trailer through drive thru's
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So the other day, after 5 years of being out, I applied to go back to college and pursue my dual major with a minor in history again. I got the acceptance letter today.
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Ok that's it.... who want to buy this with me and go to raising a whole bunch of Hereford cows?
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Me calling the Dr. "Hi I hit my jaw working cows 2 months ago, made my ear & nose bleed & still hurts today. I want an X-ray to make sure my Jaw ain't broke"
Dr "sure, we'll have to covid test you to rule out the virus"
Me "Simple logic says it ain't.. I'll just go see my vet"
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As of today I like tourists. 10 minutes under the car of one tying up their skid plate with bailing wire and they gave me $60 for the effort.
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Wyoming is crazy sometimes cause you'll pull up behind someone going a bit too slow, but can't see anyone in the car. Then you get beside them and it's some 9 year old with a beer in his hand driving to school.
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"Do you offer health insurance?"
No, but I offer health advice.
"Health advice?"
Yeah, like don't get hurt.
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I've had another rig fucking with me for the last 150 miles. Staying in front of me and driving slow on the one lanes and speeding up on the passing lanes so I can't get around him.
Well we caught a good stretch of two lane and found out that he ain't willing to go 80 in a 55.
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I saw something just a minute ago that said "Having cattle requires 2 jobs and a little fraud on the side."
I just want to say that's not true at all. I happen to have 3 jobs thank you.
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We live in a time where people who go to rodeos are called animal abusers. Massive groups of people constantly try to shut rodeos down every year. The only way this industry will survive is inclusion and acceptance. If you dont like an artist, don't go watch them.
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There's really no point in having high end bulls because your neighbors sale barn dink is gonna get onto your place anyway.
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Your 5-8 year old 1400+ lb cows shouldnt be calving sub 70 pound calves. I understand some of y'all want easy calving but I feel like some people are going way overboard with their chase for Low Birthweights.
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People say shit like this but are gonna wonder why Wendy's cut their hours from 25 to 15/wk and raised their 10 piece nugget meal to $12 when it happens.
If u can't pay $15 an hour to your employees, maybe u shouldn't own a business
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Wyoming would give you directions on how to go the fuck home.
Tourists get a lei when they arrive in Hawaii…
If the same tradition were followed across the U.S., what would each state immediately give its visitors? 💭
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Farmers get pissed when you and your truck show up at 9:03 for a 9am load, but they don't start gathering and sorting until 9:30.
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Baxter Black has been put on hospice... It's a sad day folks.
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Imagine being dumb enough to think people kill calves
I’m glad she left your calf killing ass... “you could’ve pet them” how can you treat an animal like a pet then turn around and kill it for a profit or even eat it yourself. You think you would make the connection at that point..Fuckin weirdo
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People paying $400-500 for bum calves blows me away. What's the point of raising a calf to weening age when you can pull that sucker off the cow the day after it's born and make 2/3 what you would 6 months later without worrying about keeping it alive that long.🙃🙃
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Well, everything is in order, so as of Monday I will be cow hauling full time. I am beyond excited, yet absolutely terrified at the same time😂
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Does it also come with divorce court and child custody hearing invitations??
Treating your own wedding as some sort of influencer social media event is brain dead activity
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It's hunting season in Wyoming now which means I have to check desert gates every 20 minutes because dickheaded Utahans always leave the damn things open.
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I'm legitimately killing myself if this goes viral for the 5th time in two years.
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So we bought a new horse a few months back and the gal said he USED to buck until he was about 6 (he's 14 now). Well he may have used to... But he still do too.
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I've come to the decision that wearing my glasses is easier than contacts right now. I can't remember life without needing lenses. Subscribe to my Only Cows so I can afford Lasik surgery!
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I'm on fire today. My brand got accepted by the livestock board (different placement but oh well) pops is doing a camshaft break in on my dually, and I'm about to catch a 2 hour nap after not coming off of the hayfields for 27 hours straight now.
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So from 12am Monday to 12am Saturday is 120 hours. This week I've worked 101 of them. That leaves 19 hours. An average of 3.8 hours of sleep a day.
I am exhausted, I am grumpy, and I still work Saturday and Sunday too. This is a crock of shit.
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Girlfriend dropped my pickup off at the airport a few days ago. I just got to it, it's got a cooler full of cold drinks, a bag of my favorite candy, and she topped my fuel tank off... 😩😍😩
She bought to GET IT when I get home tonight
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