BonsaiBroz
@BonsaiBroz
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14,784
Following
509
Media
3,092
Statuses
12,756
PROPERTY BROTHERS OF TWITCH business inquiries to bonsaibroz @gmail .com
Austin, TX
Joined June 2018
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Fortnite graphics 3 years ago vs Today
Warzone graphics 3 years ago vs Today
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Found a guy hiding in Warzone because his baby was crying in the background on proximity chat 💀 I killed him and all I heard was NOOOO PLEASE, PLEASE WAIT” as he was putting his headset back on 😂 am I a monster???
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5K
@Dexerto
Having a recap episode AND a filler in only 8 weeks is the worst idea I’ve ever heard of for THE most anticipated anime of 2024 💀 should’ve just waited to release it for a couple of months and actually been ready
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@WilburSoot
And this everyone, is a prime example of zero accountability and garbage human behavior
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For 27 days and 18 streams, I tried to beat
@Minecraft
without taking a SINGLE point of damage...Today my journey is complete
Here is chat's favorite damage/death clips
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I want to apologize to everyone for today’s tech crash. I tried printing a photo of
@taydertot
’s head and it was too big for the servers to handle
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How Long my streamer friends would survive in a zombie apocalypse
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RIP to my favorite emote on the channel... Twitch has deemed this picture to be TOO VULGAR for the safety of their platform
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8
1K
If this tweet gets 100 likes I’m adding
@AplatypussTV
to every group chat I’ve ever been in, ever.
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If you’re having a hard time finding motivation today, here is a picture of my Chipotle delivery that cost $22
I will frame this picture on the wall so I can have enough hate and rage fuel my family for generations. This isn’t over Chipotle.
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1K
The collaboration of the century. Brace yourselves.
BonsaiBroz🤝FocusFuel
This stuff actually tastes AMAZING get some right now or else I'll remove the body pillow out of my background.
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1K
Switched to variety streaming a month ago, SUPER nervous after streaming pure fortnite for 4years
In this month we've achieved
- 2x our Twitch sub count
- 4-6x our Average Viewers
- 750+ new YT subs per week
- Saved our mental sanity
WE MIGHT BE GOOD AT THIS STREAMING THING
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11
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Whenever chatters ask me “Why aren’t you playing with *Streamer* today??” I just make up bigger and bigger lies in response for fun
I convinced a viewer that I wasn’t playing with
@ChilledChaos
yesterday because he kidnapped my dog
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I had a dream that I was being sued and my lawyer was
@taydertot
who defended my case only using memes from her phone… I NEED to stop taking melatonin at night 💀
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Hear me out
It takes 3 months with 350 paid subs to get the 70/30 split to 100k
350 subs costs roughly $1,900
You get half back at 50%
So you could buy your own way to 70/30 for $2,845
You’d break even with 817 subs for the year
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THANK Y'ALL FOR THE 5K TWITCH SUBS. THE 10K ON TWITTER. AND ALMOST 100K ON TWITCH ALL IN ONE DAY.
seriously what a bunch of huge milestones we just hit, and we're looking forward to the next
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Hosting tryouts for new streamer friends this week, only requirement is you can’t start with an S
Between Slayed, Sp33dy, Speczii, Sendit, Sidearms, Swearin, Squatting, Slack, Sommer, Skadj, and 30 more of them I’VE HAD ENOUGH
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I just watched the Pilot Episode of Alpha Betas, and it was FIRE. If this doesn’t get picked up by someone, I’m becoming a multi-millionaire to do it myself.
@I_AM_WILDCAT
pls. I need more.
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Yesterday was the 1st and LAST time I'll ever be invited to a Live Sporting Event...
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My apartment’s maintenance team came to fix our door in the MIDDLE of our MC crew going to the end world…
He listened to a grown man screaming WATCH OUT FOR THE DRAGON LARRY. IM RUNNING LOW ON NETHERRACK. MY ENCHANTED PICKAXE IS ABOUT TO BREAK WE’RE GOING TO DIE.
Time to move
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@chibidokii
The funniest part of casting this tournament was the ONE time they played your mics to the broadcast we heard “What kind of bee makes milk” 💀
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Got cut off on the highway by a guy in a lifted F-250. He rolled his window down, flipped me off, and then the wind blew the Apple Watch off his wrist LOLLLLLL
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I learned 2 things today
-Coordinating big streamer lobbies is like herding a bunch of cats to one place
-I cannot trust ANY of my friends in a life or death scenario 💀
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PeelyGate 2023 will go down as one of the greatest OG moments in fortnite history 🫡 shoutout to
@muselk
and
@CouRageJD
for leading our people to victory
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I would like to formally apologize to
@itscourtilly
for accidentally stealing her beehive on Minecraft during Women’s month. As a huge fan of women everywhere I am ashamed of our actions and will collect a replacement hive immediately
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I realized today I can’t say “I’m just built different” when I pull a crazy play because, as an identical twin, I’m literally built the exact same as he is
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@DaithiDeNogla
Don’t listen to him! We were just in a discord call and he’s been locked out ever since yesterday
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Planning my attack against the Sky People of the Purge server, and I was able to sneak in. Undetected. Just to take this selfie to show how unprepared they really are. The Mole Men are coming.
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Highest Twitch Sub Count ✅ Triple 1/10 YouTube Uploads ✅ Highest Viewership ✅ VIBES ✅ Bonsai Stocks are about to go to the MOON 📈
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@ChilledChaos
please stop calling me "super handsome and smart Bonsai Gigachad of the knights watch" it hurts EVERY TIME
but yes, people like that are scum
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4 Year Anniversary AND we moved into our new home today! Exhausted but incredibly happy to start this next chapterb
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A couple pages from
@KYR_SP33DY
and
@Albi_SideArms
' diaries in our prison build on the HomiesSMP... I think they had a great time
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I invited my friends for a "friendly" day of switch sports
Did I spend $50 for switch accessories to play better than all of them? Am I taking this as serious as a soccer mom in an upper middle class family? Is my credit score in shambles? Yes
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I just wanted to clean off my gaming chair's arm and IT LOOKED SO WRONG...THEN SO MUCH WORSE.
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Travis and I realizing we share a birthday AGAIN this year???
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48 hours later and STILL have no power at my house. In the middle of Austin.
I’ve mopped my floors twice, reorganized my pc files, and have resorted to wearing a new set of clothes every other hour so I have new laundry to fold 💀
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That’s a wrap on our TwitchCon 2023 it was SO FUN and I wish we could’ve stayed longer it was awesome hanging out and meeting new people 🙏🏼 thank you to twitch for giving us so many incredible opportunities and being genuinely cool people
CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!
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Reminder do not stare at the eclipse UNLESS you’ve watched
@chibidokii
for more than a month
Your eyes should be used to the blinding whiteness of her giant forehead you’ll be fine
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I’ve met a grand total of 4 V-Tubers IRL and not EVEN ONE OF THEM is an actual 2-D anime girl
THEY CAN’T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS CHAT. THEY CANT.
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@JakeSucky
I watched as they banned their BIGGEST streamer of the game Shockist for raiding the devs base. They found gear that was spawned in with the MAXIMUM stats they would use to raid other players. Every time they lost a Dino, they would roll back the servers 15 minutes to get it back
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Decided to splurge after a few Fortnite Tourney wins, and added a new deck! Got it at a discount since they were doing some work next door! Only $14,900 🙏
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DEVASTATED. I have a jaw operation coming up, and they told me I have to SHAVE MY BEARD OFF FOR A MONTH. I am going to be a baby faced balding streamer coming up here, and I am not ok. Please send Twitch Prime subs to me in this troubling time 🙏
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Help I don’t know if I should be offended or laugh out loud from the accuracy of these comments 💀😂
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Pretty devastating news, I got robbed
They didn't just steal any package from me. They stole the WORST POSSIBLE PACKAGE IMAGINEABLE
SOMEONE ACTUALLY STOLE THE BOX OF BONSAIBRO BODY PILLOWS. THEY HAVE NO CONTEXT ON WHAT THEY ARE. THEY RISKED A FEDERAL CRIME TO STEAL THESE 💀
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Today we beat Minecraft…while duct taped together with 1 twin controlling the mouse and the other twin the keyboard. Never again. 💀
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I was today years old when I found out, you have to ACCEPT StreamElement donations for it to send to your Paypal... It's been 8 months...
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Got the news today I’m kicked from Faze clan 😔 was hoping to get more details on why but they just kept repeating “who are you?” And “how did this guy get in our building AGAIN???” Pretty unprofessional IMO but oh well
Looking for a new Org to represent vouched appreciated 🫡
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It's been a fun 6 years of streaming, but it's time for me to retire 👋
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My
@KYR_SP33DY
impression is getting so good sometimes I can't even tell which stream I'm watching
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Travis is in the ER at the moment so if you could keep him in your prayers that’d be great.
…Or don’t because I won’t have to split a twitch paycheck with him anymore 👀
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With this sword, I have become the most dangerous player in the PurgeSMP... It does double damage against
@Albi_SideArms
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Trying to take care of your wife
@BonsaiBride
who is sick, but also a nurse is rough 🫠
Her: Can you grab 500mg of acetaminophen
Me: The… what?
Her: Tylenol
I play video games for a living HOW am I supposed to know these things
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@NickEh30
I invite you in for checkers. After 5 minutes it dawns on me, this isn’t checkers but chess. When I look up I realize the walls of my house have been taken. The piece control happened so fast 😭
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Just had my heart shattered at TwitchCon 🥺 turns out being a tier 3 sub to a girl DOESN’T mean we’re dating???
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The PurgeSMP to me is a game. To everyone else its about to be a nightmare.
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Doritos hasn’t stopped trying to sponsor us since this was taken please send help
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I had my new worst nightmare happen this week.
Middle of a sponsor stream front page of twitch, 12k viewers watching, very scheduled production, going great
10 minutes into it my dog walks in a takes the most titanic poop right there on the carpet next to my desk staring me
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My upstairs neighbors held a party that lasted till 4am that shook the whole building with their music
At 8:00am today I left my apartment and turned on my Bluetooth stadium speakers blasting “Bass Boosted Baby Shark” YouTube video that is 10 hours long.
Enjoy your hangover
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I can’t believe they let me buy a Tesla with Twitch Primes
Now what should I name her chat??? 👀
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Just got fired from my job…kinda devestated.
Turns out screaming NEVER BACK DOWN, NEVER WHAT? Was “unprofessional” as a therapist
Not having a medical license may have been a factor as well
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Nothing is more annoying, than seeing one of your clips/posts/videos directly posted on another tiktok for millions of views 😅
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Every day I wake up I rage at the fact that I wasn’t born as an upper middle class family’s golden retriever
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Me after eating cheese, knowing full well I’m lactose intolerant but wanted to live in the moment
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@ChilledChaos
Jokes on you dude, I just gave this guy my life savings this morning. I’m shopping for teslas online as we speak 😤
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I want everyone to know
@Himicane
and I are no longer friends and I will never play monopoly again
Please respect my family’s privacy at this time
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This is
@ChilledChaos
5 minutes into a monopoly game after I mistakenly trade him a railroad for a light blue
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@emerome
“Boys will be boys” NAH IM CALLING YOU OUT THE MOMENT I HEAR SOMETHING WRONG ITS JUST THAT SIMPLE
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To any friends or family wondering why we’re MIA for the next 6 weeks, not responding to texts, calls, dinners… this is all we can legally say
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@pastaravioli
@Himicane
@KaraCorvus
@DaithiDeNogla
@ZeRoyalViking
@PjonkGoose
@LarryFishburger
@AplatypussTV
@migaladari
@SlayedByBlade
DID YOU JUST CHAT GBT AN APOLOGY LOL
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What's better than 1 content creator joining
@100Thieves
? Two for the price of one 👀
@CouRageJD
@Nadeshot
@Valkyrae
If you need a pair of twins with enough energy to rival GameFuel, we're you're guys!
Vouches and RT's appreciated ♥️
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Spectrum internet has to be the longest running joke of our channel 💀 600 people vibing in among us today on stream and they “accidentally cut a internet line” and cut my internet off for the next 2 hours… I also pay $280 a month for business internet btw 🤌🏼
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I don't care what anyone says, THIS was the most heart breaking moment in all of twitch rivals
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