Every time I use a comma in a sentence there’s something inside me that goes, “Idk… yeah sure. Right there. Fuck it.”

@melissajenna I 100% agree with you. I hate that my kids have to move every week. I would have happily shared a space and then had my own apartment for the off weeks. Might have been kinda fun actually.

I need January of 2025 to fucking end.

Single mom lost everything

Skeleton Crew and Andor are proof that @Disney doesn’t need to make crappy @starwars content. Both were great (especially Andor) enjoyable stories that didn’t depend on the main franchise characters to be interesting. Can’t wait to rewatch Skeleton Crew with my kids.

@literaryeric This checks out.

RT @literaryeric: Give a man a book, and he'll read for a week. Teach a man to write a book, and he'll never fully enjoy anything ever agai…

When you tell your friend to hide but he’s dumb.

@elonmuskTN 22

It’s time again for my heartwarming reimagining of the Grinch Cinematic Universe. Merry Christmas!

@ArmaLite15OU812 For those saying it’s not real, it “sort of” is. The veteran and the waitress are acting but the good samaritans are having real reactions.

All I want for Christmas is for it to be okay that I still listen to Kanye West’s music.

@Brandyn93629252 @OneLand4All @dom_lucre It’s an altered photo. These people are idiots.

@DLoesch @johnburk39 @Cernovich @ChrisLoesch And for the record, they never felt the need to drag me through the mud and lie about me just because we disagreed on the topic. You know... like fucking adults.

YouTube should take the comment section of the Snow White trailer and get it bound and sold at local book stores. Future generations need to see this.

I can feel myself becoming an NPC.

I just texted someone I haven’t talked to in forever and started out by saying I hoped it was still his number before mentioning something and asking a question. If it isn’t still his number, I 100% sound like a scammer.

Every guy has this friend.

Podcast/morning radio hosts that make sure to laugh directly into the microphone constantly and loudly make me want to destroy joy.