bam sone
@BamanthaSone
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Funeral Director/Embalmer with an incredibly quick wit and an ass that won’t quit. 🌈
Michigan
Joined January 2012
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I’m a mortician and in my professional opinion that is a dead man’s hand.
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My first night of bartending solo made me question why the fuck I went to college cause how tf did I make 400 dollars in 5 hours just standing there pouring liquid into glasses
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@canucksrepublic
@GoofyGemini
This is what my bodies turned out lookin like in the first month of my apprenticeship...embarrassing
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Just got the best and shirt for my custom suit and this bad girl DRIPS.
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I didn’t expect that simply being a hot undertaker was going to get me four hundred new followers overnight but here we are. Welcome to the terror dome ☠️
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@JayCantoni
Learn how to do prearrangement calculations well or you’re gonna have a bad time. Also, to all the aspiring female funeral directors, it’s misogynistic af in this industry, so you have to have thick skin.
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I’m about to go make funeral arrangements. Y’all are wild. Thanks for the support. 🥺❤️
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@KingMustachio
1. I honestly don’t know, I just went in for a job shadow in high school at a local funeral home and it worked out and seven years later here I am.
2. I don’t feel scared of the dead people at all, mostly it’s the families that freak me out
3. Not really
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Currently waiting in line to receive my Moderna COVID-19 vaccine! I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE!!!! THANK YOU VIROLOGISTS AND EPIDEMIOLOGISTS!!!
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Mass shooting at a fucking splash pad ten min from my house the guy reloaded a Glock twice and then drove to his house and killed himself when the cops got there. I’m fucking sick. I hate being alive and living on a planet full of maniacs.
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Isn’t it tragic that I grew up believing my natural hair was ugly?
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I have to stop taking mirror selfies in front of doors, the door knob really gives away how short I am.
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Least fav part of adulthood is that I gotta decide what to make for dinner everyday from now until I die 👎🏼
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Not mine
Looks like Mike Pence has locked up the white suburban mortician vote.
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I would like to use this unexpected platform to promote my favorite informative funeral service meme
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@notmollyorsilly
I don’t feel good about people dying but it IS what we pay them for during situations like this. And also they love to brag about how they put their life on the line everyday so like…go do it then??
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Had a not so great day, gonna regroup and try again tomorrow. I am a hot young accomplished intelligent woman with an incredibly quick wit and an ass that won’t quit.
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Lots to unpack in this picture. My little sister being almost as tall as me on her knees. My wifi not working. My cat standing on my laptop. It’s just a lot.
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Do you think there are people who are truly just not meant to find long term romantic love? I think unfortunately I might be one of those people.
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A year ago today I passed my state board exam and became a licensed funeral director in the state of Michigan!! 🥰
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I keep telling him he looks handsome in his sweater but he doesn’t believe me 😕
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You’d think working at a funeral home would exempt me from old men telling me I should smile more often but it doesn’t.
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Can someone on fashion Twitter tell me what kind of shirt this is? I want to acquire more but don’t know what to search. Thanks in advance.
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Half my job is just calling doctors offices and bullying doctors into signing death certificates in a timely fashion
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Imma just say it again if you’re a trump supporter pls unfollow or block me
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I plan family reunions that nobody wants to attend.
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You’re either going to a Super Bowl party tonight or you’re a sexy bitch with a huge ass. I don’t make the rules.
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Got this cute little lemon dress and idk I feel like it makes my biceps look huge, I’m into it.
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And how mfing cute are my initials on the cuff???? I’m in love.
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The saddest part about this to me is that you can just tell this is the most exciting thing that’s ever happened in their lives. They’re going to proudly tell their grandkids about this one day and their grandkids are gonna be like “wow...grandma kinda sucks...”
Obnoxious Trump supporters in New York shut down Mario Cuomo bridge
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Update: this big dumb idiot was hiding under the tarp covering someone’s grill TEN HOUSES DOWN. He’s been reunited with his brothers and his food dish, I am recovering from the catatonic state I’ve been in since 6 pm.
My cat Felix got out of the house when one of us left for work this morning and now we can’t find him. I’m absolutely heartbroken. We’ve been searching for hours and he’s just gone.
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Guys it’s official, I have gone one full year with PERFECT customer survey scores at work. 100% satisfaction from my families for a full year. Proud of myself and the work I’m doing. 🥳
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Does anyone else hide a note like this in their hotel room when they’re traveling alone or am I a weirdo? I’ve heard too many stories of police being like “maybe she ran away!” when people get reported missing. Not this bitch.
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Cum laude
Receiving my PhD over zoom in the bedroom where I first jacked off
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If you declaw your cats I cannot vibe with you end of story
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In 2020 Trump was trying to ban tik tok. In 2021 tik tok banned Trump. God I love this.
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I still can’t believerhat I have a Twitter following. Neither can my friends.
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I’m at a different funeral home doing some training today and I to go to a pet store on my lunch break. Life’s good.
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Tonight is a bad night for me, mental health wise. Please send positive vibes to Auburn Hills, MI.
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All I’m saying is that I’ve never seen my cat and ET in the same room
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@rachelolroyd
@OlaTinee
@Deeshmurdaa
Validating the use of physical abuse as a method of problem solving regardless of the reason. Y U C K.
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I’m jealous of yesterday sam. Care free. Enjoying a bagel bite. Happy. Today sam is crying at her desk right now. Miss you, you happy bitch.
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I’m so excited for the debate tomorrow. I hope trump gets so frustrated by his muted mic that he throws a tantrum on stage.
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If you’ve ever zoomed in on my tits in any photo I’ve ever posted on social media you owe me a Valentine’s Day gift.
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What’s scary about this roe v wade shit is that I would literally kill myself so fast if I was forced to see a pregnancy through and didn’t want to. And I know other women personally who feel the same way. If you are anti-choice, unfollow me please.
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Did y’all know that bats are the sole pollinators of agave cacti? And do you know what that means????? If it weren’t for bats, there would be no tequila. (More importantly, no margaritas)
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Our casket vendor sent out an email saying they’re literally low on caskets. Not sure what to do about that one.
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Love walking into a dive bar and doin this in front of all the Vietnam war vets I just kicked off the pool table so I could play with my gal friends
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Stop saying “I’m not a fan of Kim K but…” before talking about how fucking sick Kanye West is being right now. No one asked if you liked her and no one cares. She’s being harassed and it’s not okay.
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Earlier I went door to door asking if anyone had seen Felix and I was crying like a little bitch and this old old woman a few houses down said “would you like a hug?” 🥺🥺🥺 still thinking bout her.
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Made friends with my neighbor who is a 47 year old dad and it shows
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Vacationing in Ohio but only cause it’s 85 degrees here rn and I’m on a rooftop with my friends.
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I found a sticky note in the main office at work today with just my name on it and nothing else so I went ahead and finished it
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I’ve always wanted a cape blazer so I finally got one and it looks so badass
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Is it weird of me to want people to keep their Christmas lights up all winter? Might help my depression, idk.
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Took some vacation time cause I needed a break from it all so I’m getting paid to lounge around the house. And yes this is a fucked up vault cover from the 80’s that we turned into a full length mirror in our living room.
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I had a good day off. Back at it tomorrow. The game is the game.
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