i vomited up a quail family who are now running in clean circles around my room. they’re making grooves in the wood where their feet have been and i need a doctor
I had a dream about a new type of mayonnaise made specifically for fried chicken. their whole ad campaign was that “nephews love it” and the brand name was something like “Dr. schicken’s”
if she’s your girl why is she putting my lunch in a slow feeder maze bowl so I don’t eat too fast? I’m literally getting additional enrichment at meal times
if i ever become Dull or hopelessly cynical you may lay me gently onto a panini press and pull the handle until i toast and melt into something dynamic. something hopeful
For pride month I put my pronouns on my name tag and it’s going exactly as expected: everyone is ignoring it and calling me she hundreds of times a day
[at dinner with my boss] w-well yes, but he’s since changed his views on miette, haven’t you honey? tell them how you like miette now, how you think it’s good? he loves the post. the m-miette post, sir