charlie
@BUNNlCULA
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oh fuck yeah these things are back
10-foot mysterious metal monolith appears on remote hill, baffling locals
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really obsessed with this woman who simply cannot stop getting stung by scorpions
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hey dude i don’t think you hate your body i think you just don’t have pants you like right now
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instead of grad school we should have glad school. where you learn how to smile :)
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lady at my bar just ate a fry and said “I love these flavors. the taste of it”
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if it isn’t clear i plan on pursuing an especially painful master’s degree
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falling asleep in a lettuce wrap. getting awoken when I’m rudely dipped in the provided sauce
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wait... you... you're a girl... and you like SHRIMPS ON THE BARBIE .... you are one interesting sheila.....
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i vomited up a quail family who are now running in clean circles around my room. they’re making grooves in the wood where their feet have been and i need a doctor
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just make this information a normal table with rows and columns. pervert
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fiona apple in the morning boyfriend’s warning. fiona apple at night boyfriend’s warning
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the girls on instagram are eating the same dinners as a pitbull with a skin condition
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@poorlycatdraw
Angry because an ancient curse decided to overtake him right before dinnertime
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if doctor is a job why couldn’t I get gender affirming surgery at auto zone
If sex work is work then can a boss require women to suck his dick as a job requirement?
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permission to feel weird and to act weird? and strange and small? and scared?
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novelty shaped cast iron pots are not cute. nothing about uneven heat distribution is cute. stop fucking around. get serious
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the gender chemical which makes you become Sharp and the gender chemical which makes you become Smooth
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I had a dream about a new type of mayonnaise made specifically for fried chicken. their whole ad campaign was that “nephews love it” and the brand name was something like “Dr. schicken’s”
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My good friend works at a children’s museum, where masterpieces are being made
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boys are like “I know a spot” and then lie in the grass next to the mausoleum
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going to the muji store wearing muji clothes top to bottom to buy another pair of the same pants I’m already wearing to the muji store
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if she’s your girl why is she putting my lunch in a slow feeder maze bowl so I don’t eat too fast? I’m literally getting additional enrichment at meal times
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when you’re mean to me this is who you’re being mean to [shows you a photo of yourself in your room clearly taken from the street outside your house]
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Told my hairdresser to do whatever he wanted AND he let me hit his weed pen. win-win
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dale says T̷̖͒̒͜R̸͙̰̂̃A̴͚̭͑Ǹ̸̠̮S̷̢͈̄̃ ̵̡͕̃̽R̶̡̓Ḯ̸̻̹G̷̨̘͑̑H̷͇̗̿̆T̷̋͜S̷̯̤̐͝
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if i ever become Dull or hopelessly cynical you may lay me gently onto a panini press and pull the handle until i toast and melt into something dynamic. something hopeful
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me in the women’s restroom
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do you think anyone at the kristin stewart movie will know im lgbtqia
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For pride month I put my pronouns on my name tag and it’s going exactly as expected: everyone is ignoring it and calling me she hundreds of times a day
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Anyone wanna trade me this anxiety disorder for a useful fucking trait maybe
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cis people act like u can’t just call ur genitals whatever u want, but u can. I call this theory Schrödinger’s Dick
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just really being nonbinary today. reeeal gender non conforming. im getting transgender all over every public space I possibly can today.
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presidential run has her forgetting she denied prisoners HRT
To the transgender community: You deserve to move through the world with the utmost respect and dignity. You are not alone. We fight with you.
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[at dinner with my boss] w-well yes, but he’s since changed his views on miette, haven’t you honey? tell them how you like miette now, how you think it’s good? he loves the post. the m-miette post, sir
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It’s me, Paul, I’m your new stepdad and I hope I make a positive impact on your life. I’m also your softball coach
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it really was wild that Facebook offered “it’s complicated” as a relationship status option
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