AymanAliKhan
@AymKhan11
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Psychologist || Writer
Hyderabad, India
Joined July 2019
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I’ve grown up romanticising Ramadan but it is important to note that it is a matter of privilege to be able to do so. As a therapist, Ramadan is also a time where I note mental health symptoms intensifying & reports of domestic violence incidents increasing unfortunately.
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Burn out, irritation & stress are also from Allah SWT - theyre signs reminding you to push yourself only in ways that are sustainable, seek help and prioritise ease. Alhamdullilah for a religion that gives meaning to every negative emotion and rejects toxic positivity.
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Anxiety, hanger and emotional instability shoots up for everyone & not just those that are already struggling with their mental health. The picture perfect instagram posts end up alienating a big chunk of the ummah that is overwhelmed and plain struggling this month.
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understanding your mental health & capacities so as to effectively spend your limited energy in this blessed time ensures khushu (sincerity). Don’t become a test for those around you or slack off on other responsibilities which are also a form of worship.
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I worked with women every day who are fleeing domestic violence and today I worked with a woman who completely broke me down. She didn't want to disclose what happened but what she did say was that she had dreams, goals, aspirations. Had. Her abuser took those things from her
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The quieter the anger, rage and fury gets, the more dangerous it is. It’s unfortunate how bitter most desi women are because they were forced to swallow their anger and never allowed to express it thanks to patriarchy. It poisons them from the inside.
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The only real love I have found is the love parents have for you. I lucked out with mine. The unconditional kind of love, makes one ask why God loved you enough to give them to you. Raising duas for their health and joy today and always.
#Alhamdulillah
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Real wealth is relationships. Death may end the person but never the relationship. It keeps enriching us.
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sending a handwritten letter is the next best thing than showing up on someone’s door.
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13 times the Quran asks “Afala Ta’qilun?”which means“will you not use your intellect?”Abysmal turnout at the polling booths yet again shows how most Muslims in urban hyd won’t cast their vote yet lament about BJPs rise. You don’t get to complain if you didn’t vote.
#Elections2024
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The visuals reveal how Palestinian men are just built different - volunteering while bombs rain, reciting the Quran, chanting Alhamdullilah all while relentlessly pulling bodies out of the rubble. Standing around their women and kids like a human fortress.
#FreePalestine
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Don’t keep up with sports but it’s impossible to miss the heartwarming visuals of Messi celebrating with his brood.He may be a hero to the world but looks like just any Father rushing to share a victory with his children and wife-beautiful values to stand for on an epoch of a day
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Many clients share in therapy how much time they spend hoping someone who hurt them will face the consequences for what they did to their heart, failing to realise investing time in such thoughts is essentially allowing that person to hurt their heart all over again.
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We need empathetic listeners. People who dont make us feel bad for feeling bad. Instead of saying itll get better or there’s worse pain in the world. Tell us it hurt because it mattered. Its easier to hurt when we aren’t constantly berated for it.
#MentalHealthAwareness
#counsel
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Ok here’s a hot take. When you celebrate bare minimum behaviour and applaud men for being decent humans & consider the woman to be “lucky” to receive that basic love and care he owes her you lower standards. You enable the behaviour of abuser’s, narcissists and toxic men.
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The Qur'an, not the qaari.
The Dawah, not the da'ee.
Allah, not the aabid.
Islam, not the Muslim.
Don't lose perspective.
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Goosebumps sA. Was watching a scholar speak about how there are a billion miracles happening in Gaza rn and even though we may not know the details yet the biggest miracle is their faith watering ours.
This is a scholar from Gaza.
One of the finest scholars of Arabic Grammar, who decided to not leave his hometown, despite given several offers to leave.
In the below tweet, he writes, “most of the residents of Gaza saw the war a month before in their dreams… (cont.)
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A small but powerful dua I recite to help me navigate difficult conversations with patients & their families-taken from Surah Taha it’s when Musa AS was tasked to share the message of Islam with the most corrupt Pharoah Egypt had seen.Offers instant ease and clarity of thought sA
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Had to sketch the thousand-yard stare of Badr Dahlan to process what it did to my heart. Just one of the many eyes that haunt us.
#badrdahlan
#FreePalestine
💔🍉🇵🇸
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There’s two kinds of people. Those that fall in love with your skin and then those that drown themselves in everything underneath it.
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I don’t claim to be a saint but Using the veil of Dawah/general Islamic content to speak to non mahrams of the opposite gender has got to be the most bottom of the barrel behaviour. To sin is one thing but to sin while justifying it using the card of preaching is irredeemable 🤮
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Eid Mubarak!Today’s when the saying “the ummah is one body if one part is in pain the whole body is in pain” is not just a catchy jingle to post but a saying that comes with the task that our hearts,tongue & demeanour act as witnesses that participate in making it a reality.
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Discipline is saying الحمدلله when you’re angry or sad or feel jealousy coming in. Discipline is saying الحمدلله over and over again instead of a sigh of frustration or a word of negativity or the feeling of defeat. Discipline is praising Allaah during all times in all moment.
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The most heart wrenching aspect of the
#MetGala
this year has been watching 🇵🇸ian kids heads being blown apart from bombs that are funded and supported by the same zionist conglomerates that orchestrate this “charity” event. A tone deaf echo chamber for elite zionists.
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I want to take my heart and brain and send them to a laundromat. So Heavy with the grime of the heartache in the world lately.
#isitjustme
?
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Instagram needs to give us the feature of who’s visiting our profile I mean come on it’s 2020 babe
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So little is said about how
#burnout
is brought about by underwhelm as much as feeling overwhelmed. It’s not just about doing too much but doing too little of what matters to you. Holistic
#MentalWellbeing
is incomplete if you don’t address both.
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There are some things that lose meaning forever the minute they are put in words.
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Reading 🇵🇸ians write what they believe are their final words should axe everyone’s heart open. Just wrapping our brain around the fact that 1200 were killed in 24 hours is so retchingly horrific to even imagine their lived reality is impossible.
#freepalestine
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Peace is a white man’s word. Liberation is ours. Peace means looking away from the horrors, peace means a 4 hour “pause” in the carnage like the genocide is a video game we need to take a break from, peace is a wily attempt at reinstating the same settler colonial power dynamic.
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Satan, in Islamic cosmology, was the first being to create sectarianism.He claimed superiority over other creations of Allah on the basis of lineage,creed & bodily composition. The deep divide between different ‘sects’ of Muslims today is Satans ultimate victory over the Ummah.
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This book and movie exists and that makes the world suck a little less. Little Women (2019)
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sA it’s the last roza.most people share how fast the month went by for them but I’ve experienced otherwise-it was a long,demanding & transformational journey aH.May He SWT allow us to witness many a more Ramadan & grant us grace to wear its pain & effort like a badge of honor
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It’s 5 am and I’m fantasising about piping hot crispy jalebis straight out of bathing in a deep bowl of sweet chaashni.
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Thinking of these grounding set of words from a Gazan addressing the ummah today "From your right upon us is that we feel joy for your happiness.From our right upon you, is that you don't forget us,even in your joy." None of us can have a truly happy Eid until 🇵🇸 is free.
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How unbelievably precious are the souls that God sends as a means of ease sA. What bigger sign of His mercy than having people that take time to fill your heart with a balm of their kindness. May He appoint us to be these people in the lives of those we touch.
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The longer I’m a therapist the more I’m convinced that no matter who they are - all humans suspect that they don’t really deserve love and good things in life. Ironical how there’s no bigger more formidable an enemy to the human brain than the human brain itself.
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You think about it....the tongue is so close to the brain and yet, the sheer goddamn number of times they fail to collaborate, man. :(
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Tell myself every time a sudden calmness washes over me it is because my future self is somehow letting my present self know its all going to be okay, that im going to be okay 💁🏻♀️
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Here’s the GoFundMe to help Maram and her family exit gaza safely. Please do keep her and all of palestine in your duas during this blessed time.
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True,nothing really changes between December 31 & Jan 1. Yes the Gregorian calendar is but a social construct- but let people have this innocent metaphor of closing a chapter and turning over a new leaf. A day to partition off everything that’s done & to tie up loose ends.
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Diamonds are born under high pressure.
Bread dough rises when left to rest.
We all work in ways unique to us. what’s motivating to one might be crippling to another 🤷🏻♀️
#theoriesofmotivation
#youdoyou
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Lots in life will happen if you subject yourself to the mortifying task of stepping up and asking for it.
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while it must be really hard for Palestinians to have death rain on them as their homes turn into mass graves the real people suffering are the politicians & celebs trying to craft clever statements based in zero research to virtue signal the importance of peace on both sides.
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May everyone who has ever had their dreams and hopes and wishes and aspirations taken, gain them and may they gain the strength and empowerment to accomplish all their goals and may Allaah protect us from the malicious, the manipulative, the abusive, the fakes.
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#Recovery
is not about never being sad again or never relapsing again or never struggling again. Recovery is a mindset. Recovery is changing the way you think so that when you feel sad or relapse or begin to struggle again, you know how to cope with it.
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the older versions of you that didn't know better don't need blame consistently placed on them, they don't need the scent of your resentment following them, they don't need shame consistently attached to them; they deserve gratitude. you wouldn't be who you are now without them
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That random post fajr emotional whiplash of realizing the mortality of the people around you. Is it just me?
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Wrote this in May. Domestic violence counselling made me so much more cynical about marriage in India but left me in awe of women.
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stung to learn that the "educated and progressive south" adage is an empty illusion of the past.States like UP that are looked down upon by the south have shown incredibly sensible voting, while a majority of South India has shamelessly elected rapists, murderers & Islamophobes.
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Had a tender moment today with a patient where we suddenly realised that I’ve been taking sessions for her exactly since a year. It just came up in the conversation and was such a gratifying thought to see just how much they have grown since. I love my job :’)
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May Allah let Ramadan wash out the debris our hearts have been collecting. Here’s to the spirit of improving our relationship with Him SWT over the din of mindless socialising and a capitalism centric aesthetic that popular media peddles Ramadan to be. تقبل الله🌙✨
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@ro3ver
I get your frustration as a non muslim but it’s myopic to say they’re romanticising. Martyrdom/afterlife are themes that are part of the daily muslim rhetoric.These posts, if anything, express advanced empathy and are meant to comfort the loved ones of the dead.
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The best dawah is leading by example. It's not merely calling others to the path using words,but through your conduct/character.By embodying the light of the Qur'an + sunnah so sincerely that it shines through you making those around wonder: what makes her/him the way she/he is?
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Communication is everything. Always always tell people exactly how you feel, where you’re at in life, what you need assurance of, what questions you need answered. Communicate everything because anything and everything can be misinterpreted
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You could have the most rewarding career, the best fitness routine, the nicest family and a fulfilling love life and you’d still not be able to win if you’re losing inside your mind. Put your mental health first.
#therapistmusings
#mhadvocacy
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Read a prompt that suggested instead of saying “please forgive me” to people in Ramadan which is empty and more about soothing your own conscience choose to be open to feedback about how you’ve impacted them & the ways you can improve. Actionable changes are the only real apology
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May Allah SWT elevate us to a state of piety where we are deserving and equipped to receive the blessings we pray for.
#tahajjudthings
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Who a person is, for me, boils down to what and who they stand up for 🌻
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The 45 Palestinian families have won the akhirath. The 45 families have won a permanent place in our hearts and minds. All 45 families have left a crater like dent in the collective conscience of the world. Praying justice is served in this world too.
#FreeGazaFromIsrael
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With the year ending I just want to thank the people who made me see the sun where I once saw clouds. The people that believed in me so much,that I started believing in myself too. The people that love me for just being me.
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Relationships, marriages or friendships. Anywhere where a full and honest expression of either your hurt or your joy is seen as an act of defiance to the power dynamic and is mislabelled or infantilised is abusive. Run in the opposite direction.
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Mental illness at large is like fighting a war where the enemy’s strategy is to convince you that the war isn’t actually happening
#MentalHealthMatters
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That's what pained her the most, that she doesn't know what to do in life anymore because she doesn't know what to live for. & at one point, he was her everything and she gave him all her dreams and aspirations in hope of support but got manipulation in return.
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Bol, ke lab Azaad hai tere // speak, for your two lips are still free
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A classic
#Faizahmedfaiz
verse for the historic
#AntiCAAProtest
at OU Hyderabad tonight. The energy is exactly what the books, movies and songs about rebellion speak about. Perhaps even better 🇮🇳💗
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So tired of people seeking to be relevant seeking to be liked for their looks their status their wealth their external shell. your heart, your soul, the way your mind works will always be the most important things about you. Don’t let the internet teach you otherwise.
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when you're running away from your problems they calmly take a seat because they know you're running in a circle and will meet them again, exhausted. With no choice but to face them.
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This stupid urge to tear, blow up and end everything I’ve built, created or nurtured because in one moment it does not feel perfect is going to be my end. Ya feel?
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And I say Run instead of”work on it” because the emotional labour to educate, debate and negotiate the right to even express your emotions ?this the 1700s? You really dont want to touch the hot pan and cry that it burns man. Invest your beautiful heart in things it deserves.
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Self-care is not buying into what evil corporations thinks self-care is.
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in middle school I had one of those
@classmatebyitc
notebooks with a cover that had a cat on it that was looking into a mirror and a lion stood in its reflection.That simple image impacted me profoundly, still anchors me on bad days. You are always what you believe you are.
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Proximity makes you overestimate how fond you are of someone but they’re right when they say distance makes the heart grow the fuck up
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God’s plans for you are too big for you right now. Your present suffering is God stretching you, and preparing you to fit into the purpose you were created to fulfill. You are building muscle, your faith is growing steadily. Be patient, you are going to do great things
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How detrimental it is to their overall well-being. How they are labelled negative, ungrateful and complaint-mouths for even daring to be provoked or hurt. How plastering on smiles and painting a picture of happiness is the ONLY acceptable way to portray things, it’s gross.
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“Ok but can YOU decide for me what to do” is what so many patients ask in therapy I blame the lack of awareness and popular mis-portrayal of therapy in popular media for it. No therapists DO NOT make decisions for you.Therapy is about reclaiming your agency and deciding yourself
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Its Suicide awareness month and this is a reminder that most patients suffering with suicidal tendencies are told they are “exaggerating” “attention seeking” “faking/pretending”. Even IF a patient is lying about their mental health that by default is a sign that they need help.
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by the by - Ram was a Kshatriya who came from a long line of meat eaters. If he could witness the things ‘Hindu’ zealots who cannot recite a single shlok are doing in his name it would hang his head in shame.
#BabriMasjidDemolition
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As annoying as my family is. The quarantine has taught me I already have everything I need. Alhamdulillah a thousand times. Alhamdulillah for my mother’s tender embrace and my sisters smart mouth and my fathers quiet strength. I will still roll my eyes at them, outta affection.
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As a psychologist I verify this information as accurate af 😂✌🏻
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The realization of your specialness, and the awareness of your insignificance. There's a kind of warmth that spreads from within you to those around you, when you're able to strike a balance between these two traits.
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Militant decency isn’t a fancy word but a parameter used in psychology to study empathy. It’s healthy & important to feel angry at moral injury on a personal or political level.Whether it’s a mosque or a temple-tearing it down and celebrating is a sign of moral rot
#BabriMasjid
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Some days in life make you age a lot. You emerge out of them wiser with a higher threshold for pain and a lower threshold for bs.
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The tired old “mental health” narrative to depoliticise matters is laughable. If we must use mental health to explain what happened- try psychopathic deviance from humanity, cult ideology, acute narcissism and alarming lack of empathy encouraged/groomed by the ruling party.
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A bhakth on ig called me a pada-likha aatankvaadi. I feel like I’ve unlocked some secret
#AntiCAAProtests
achievement tbh
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Havent been able to shake off the images of the baptist carnage. Haven’t experienced disenfranchised grief like this before. I don’t think we are meant to.May we keep our rage alive and let it channel into how we relentlessly support the cause of dismantling isnotreal and free 🇵🇸
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“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.”Steve Maraboli
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I don’t endorse expressing anger as a coping mechanisms either, scientifically these emotional expressions do have the same addictive qualities as most drugs. However, I’m here to make my observation of what happens when anger isn’t an option for a woman experiencing abuse.
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Why is the millennial idea of love the amount of abuse one can take. Smh stop equating giving in to another cycle of abuse, lies and games as a measure of strength.
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30,000 is just too infernal a number to shrug off. It is normal to feel physically sick as we witness the unadulterated evil of prioritising dollar bills over human lives. Pitiable are those who have chosen to self-censor in these times. even a stone would cry.
#free
🇵🇸
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If you’re doing the most you deserve the most there is no achievement in this. There is no need for aggrandising it. The bar is set too low.
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I just want you to be like a friend and I wanna talk about ya bro
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Imo the hardest battles to fight are the dumbest ones. Most zionists are literally so obtuse it’s an insult to even have to engage with them. The same with andhbhakts.
“Islamic Jihad Missile” is the perfect cluster of words to get them caravans riled up 😭😭😭 they literally picked all the buzzword they could use to make it stick
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