✨Ash✨
@Ashh_Bearr
Followers
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Previous Pokémon YouTuber & SMITE/FFXIV streamer 💕
United States
Joined June 2021
Finally got a picture in some natural light that shows off just how purple my hair is 🥰
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Completely spaced on tweeting about it the other day because we were hanging out and having a good time but I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S BEEN 10 WHOLE YEARS SINCE MOOSE AND I GOT TOGETHER I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!. My heart is so happy and full 💕.
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Me: Gets diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Seamus: Gifts me cookies and an Eevee figurine to help cheer me up :'). I just love him so much 💕.
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Seamus has been having some flank pain over the past week (no other symptoms) and I'm just a big worrier. we're gonna see a doctor soon if it still doesn't really improve. I hope it's just a muscle strain or something since he lifts weights. I just want him to feel better ;w;.
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Scheduled an appointment in the morning for Seamus since he’s not doing better. The bright side is he’s also not doing worse either but this has been going on for like 10 days now with no full improvement so we’re gonna see what’s up. I’ll keep you all updated wish us luck 💕.
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My mom? Gone. My dad? Also gone. My cat I’ve had for 16 years? Probably gone… when will it stop :(.
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Daydreaming about getting a nice, small house with the Moose and living happily ever after~ literally all I want in life 🥺.
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It’s been a full week and every day I still call your name and look for you. Every morning I wake up and open my windows and change the worn shirt outside in hopes you’ll smell the scent and come home but you never do… I miss you much :(.
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Ended up going to the ER because I was having such intense stomach and back pain that I was crying and nauseous. I go there and they don’t really find anything wrong based off the tests they ran so I come home and am miserable, in pain, and getting sick on and off. He’s my angel
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Hewwo I know I don’t post on this account very often but you all are pretty cool 🥺.
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This has also been the reason I’ve been so MIA on Twitch and stuff. I worry far too much and it completely kills my mood and drive to do anything productive… I just want my Moose to feel better ❤️🩹.
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Trying to be a beam of sunshine when you're struggling is so hard lol. I hope one day I can overcome these feelings of inadequacy for good when it comes to almost every aspect of my life. .
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It’s hard feeling like you’re good enough sometimes especially when you see everyone around you doing so well in comparison.
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An update on this! We didn't get anything crazy done because that shit is way too expensive but he basically got a bit of a physical exam and talked with the doctor. She ruled out appendicitis completely but there's still a chance it *could* be a stone of some sort (1/4).
Scheduled an appointment in the morning for Seamus since he’s not doing better. The bright side is he’s also not doing worse either but this has been going on for like 10 days now with no full improvement so we’re gonna see what’s up. I’ll keep you all updated wish us luck 💕.
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been eating normally again and not feeling as nauseous/headachey which I'm so happy about <3. Anyway yeah. It's been getting better day by day for the most part but still there for whatever reason. We'll keep watching it but he *is* doing better we think. Love you all! 💕 (4/4).
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Wish I could be happy for more than 1-2 days at a time… My mental health is a mess lmao. It’s also why I disappear from streaming for a few days randomly… it can be hard sometimes 😞.
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Sorry for only posting selfies. I never have much to talk about that isn't related to my main account LOL 😭.
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I feel like I always look super wide in every selfie I take so… have some ghostly white thighs. I have a body too 😳
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through caffeine withdrawals as well. We both quit drinking energy drinks cold turkey and while I'm mostly doing fine he drank them more than I did so him stopping was a lot rougher on his body. We got some caffeine pills though and they've been helping quite a bit! He's (3/4).
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It feels like every time I get the drive and motivation to do the things I want something always has to come crashing down around me to hinder everything… I’m so tired….
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Hmm… been considering making a Fanhouse account for fun and somewhat spicy pics (no nudes, sorry! Cosplays/cute outfits tho?? 👀) for those interested in that side of content creation… Not 100% sure yet though 🥴.
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I’ve been taking care of important irl errands like nonstop for the past 5 days I’m so mentally exhausted LOL 🥴. AND MY JURY DUTY SUMMONS IS BACK, I WANNA CRY I hope it gets cancelled/they don’t need me 🥲.
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I’ll be having such a good day then my brain will hit me with some real messed up stuff outta nowhere like 🥲.
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but we won't know unless we actually got some sort of imaging done. The pain comes and goes and isn't always consistent, plus him repositioning himself seems to help if it's really bothering him. We're just taking it easy and playing it by ear. Also didn't help he was going (2/4).
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The old scene kid urge to chop up my hair and bleach/color the living hell out of it.
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Got my first vaccine poke (Pfizer) yesterday and OH MY GOODNESS MY ARM. Oof, ouch, owie 🥲. No other side effects so far though!.
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I’ve come to realize that I am just not photogenic at all LOL. I look in the mirror and I’m like damn I look really good today!! then I try to take a selfie and it looks nothing like the pretty image in the mirror that I was just staring at ;w;.
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Dang I need to tweet more on this account LOL 😭 Quick, what should Seamus and I get for food??.
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This might sound super weird but I put up one of those tree lookin' car air fresheners in my room and the vanilla scent is wonderful LOL.
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Also no, knowing other people have it worse than me or that they wish they were in my position doesn’t make me feel better what the heck? 🥲. Just a vent post, sometimes it feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I’ll be okay though ^^.
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I’ve had a slight headache since like 3am and I wanna die. Ignoring it and going back to sleep did not help 🥲 Time for some ibuprofen with breakfast. !.
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@bernard_kolby He’s been hanging out with me for the past many days because I felt like he needed a bit of a break, hope you understand! ^^.
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@Wolfy2032 Yeah I worry that they think I was only there for pain meds or something since they didn’t find anything… I feel like an ovarian cyst or something with my gallbladder is totally possible (they checked my kidney and appendix, or so I was told). I hope your gf is doing better :(.
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@Wolfy2032 Yeah that’s my fear now, the damn bill LOL. I despise being so sick I feel like I need to go to the ER. I do pretty well with pain so the fact it was making me cry and physically ill was a little terrifying. Love it 🤪.
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