The Artificer | Maker, Mini painter, TTRPG Content Creator | He/Him | Geek trying to do some chaotic good. 💙
@cozykathryn
✉️: artificerxero
@gmail
.com
Wait
wait
HOLD UP.
There are people pissed at Marisha Ray for ... taking notes and being that engaged in the story? Hi. DM here. The lot of you oxygen thieves bashing her are categorically fucking stupid.
She's an absolute DREAM player. Please staple your fingers together.
3 indisputable facts:
1. JK Rowling despises the trans community.
2. She uses her resources to target the trans community.
3. Sales of the game benefit her directly, giving her more resources.
You're making a choice to support that when you play. I don't know what else to say.
"Players should learn their character sheets."
"DMs should know the rules by heart."
Or—and I know this is a big ask for some—y'all can help each other along the way, and enjoy the game as friends having a good time together.
Just a thought.
#dnd5e
#ttrpg
Three truths:
1. Never fight a land war in Asia.
2. Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
3. Don't start a fight with Waffle House employees.
There are good people at Wizards of the Coast. I've had the pleasure of meeting them. I love D&D. But I have to be clear here:
There is no ethical use for AI in creative production. None. Every argument for it is facile, and built on a simple premise: greed. 🧵
That Kobold Press announcement is no small thing. If you've ever tracked the arc of these things in the industry, this is a canary in the coal mine.
No matter what comes, the damage has been done.
Okay: The Party meets in a tavern.
Cool: The Party all answers the same job.
Damn: The Party meets one another while standing atop the gallows as the false charges are read out, and a sneering crowd anticipates their final drop. The hooded hangman whispers, "Be ready to run."
I did it.
I applied for a position at Wizards of the Coast. In the past, a younger me would be freaking the hell out.
The die is cast, etc. etc. Good vibes appreciated, folks. 💙
My grandfather, a sailor, once told me "Respect the ocean. It owes you nothing. You go in without respect, and you aren't coming out."
People want me to be sad about the Titan sub disaster. I'm not. I'm angry. Angry at the tourism, angry at the flippancy, angry at-
"No politics in OUR TTRPGs," he said with a slow smile. "Now let's get back to our story of a feudal-based nation state at war with a neighboring Theocratic Dynasty over the issue of resources and hegemony. Roll to see if your coup is successful."
I have designs. They are full of love, geeky goodness, and fueled by a frankly alarming amount of caffeine. There are dozens. You should buy one. End flawless ad copy.
#ttrpg
#dnd5e
One thing I will always be grateful to The Legend of Vox Machina for is showcasing in a limited time exactly why Keyleth is an amazing, deep, and thoroughly developed character, and was throughout the live play.
Suck it, haters.
DM Tip: Hey. Did you know that it's a real and measurable phenomenon where the mind suddenly goes blank under pressure, despite any pre-planning?
Maybe cut folks some slack when their turn comes around in a TTRPG. Being ready is good. Empathy is better.
#ttrpg
Listen: Thanks to oxygen-thieves getting validated by Ernie Gygax, shit's gonna get loud in the scene for a while. Close ranks, shields up, and don't give an inch.
The TTRPG scene is ours; loving, open, and ready to keep it that way. Look out for each other, badasses.
"You can't cut ties with family over politics-" I can, I have, and by all indications in the weeks to come I will again, especially with some of them espousing views dangerous to my non-blood family and friends.
Blood relation is not ownership of your life. Protect your peace.
In case it's unclear:
No spaces for Nazis.
No platform for Nazis.
No mercy for Nazis.
If, by some cosmic fluke, you stumbled into following me and identify as a Nazi, feel free to fuck right off. I am one hundred percent your enemy.
I'm not a small streamer. I'm a streamer.
I'm not a small TTRPG creator. I'm a TTRPG creator.
I'm not a low-tier content creator. I'm a content creator.
Numbers are nice, but they're not everything.
You are never a nobody. Just be.
@Patreon
"We want you to know that we approach every change with a creator-first mindset..." I'm sorry, but not a single fellow creator I've spoken to is happy about this, nor do they recall being asked beforehand. Please reconsider.
TTRPG Tip:
If "what your character would do" is constantly causing out of game issues at the table, make a new character.
It's collaborative storytelling, not your Id run amok.
Dear Fellow Geeks:
Every fantasy/sci-fi property you love has politics and societal issues involved.
Every. Single. Fucking. One.
That's the whole goddamn point.
My partner came into my office crying this morning. I held her. I had no words. I held the love of my life, my everything, while knowing she had less rights than
a corporation,
a cop executing an innocent,
a gun,
and me.
Rage does not begin to fully describe it.
I evidently only create 4 types of TTRPG characters that I play:
1. Big Friend, will smash or hug as needed.
2. Anxiety, but with magic, so it's whimsical.
3. Anarchy in the Forgotten Realms.
4. Me, but with like horns or some shit IDK.
How about you?
Hey
@Twitch
! Hi! Fun fact, I just literally watched a streamer live-streaming coordinating a hate raid/follow botting, and circumventing your tools and Commander Root. Might want to take a real hard look at lunar_was_here, and folks like them, huh?
"Raise your allies, save one," the dragon crooned. "That is to be your toll."
The cleric looked upon the still forms of his allies. "That is too cruel a toll."
The dragon nodded, almost sad. "Such is the terrible price of violence, and intrusion upon domains not yours, priest."
"You say you're a Star wars fan, but you DON'T know who Revan is?"
"No?"
"Oh wow! Let me share some links with you! I think you'll really like his story!"
See fellow geeks? Not that fucking hard. Gatekeeping is bullshit in any galaxy.
Guess I should speak my piece on this since I am openly—ardently—against NFTs.
What am I planning to do should Hasbro/WOTC go that route? What's my response?
Nothing. Or rather, I will be doing what I'm doing now, and not supporting NFTs, while continuing to do my job. (1)
I'm Pagan.
I don't have an issue with Christianity in America because of Christians. I have an issue because so few of them actually are.
"He gets us?" Great branding. Just sucks that you clearly don't get Him.
Sure. There are two sides to Nazism. There are Nazis, and then there is humanity.
This is not a neutral topic. There is no neutral stance on the issue. Either you are against Nazism/Fascism, or you are abetting it.
Period.
Dear new DM,
If your players and you are having fun, and everyone feels safe and listened to, then you are an awesome DM.
That's it. End of requirements.
Sincerely,
The Artificer.
#ttrpg
#dnd5e
This shit. Right here.
Fuck your excuses. Fuck your original timetables. Fuck your latest roadmap.
@Twitch
this is priority numero fucking UNO. PROTECT. YOUR. GODDAMN. STREAMERS. Not later this week. Not next month. Not "sometime later this year." NOW.
#TwitchDoBetter
*deep, impossibly long intake of air*
No dice are perfectly balanced. None of them. Not one set. Not any permutation, configuration, or arrangement, no matter the maker.
Asking this of indie makers is like asking "Hey, have you figured out a way to ignore physics, yet?"
I don't get it. I want people younger than I to have it easier. I want them to have access to the quality of life things I didn't. I want them to have the opportunities I didn't.
Last I checked, that's how this whole society gig is supposed to function. Leave a better world.
In before any crotch-goblins try to take me to task for defending Marisha:
1. She doesn't need my defending. I just call 'em as I see them.
2. She's amazing, and the haters are wrong. Sit in the wrong corner wearing your wrong cap and steep in your wrongness forever.
#Bless
"Ok Boomer"
Cantrip, 1 action, Enchantment, Verbal
You speak or write these two words at a creature you can see within range. It must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw or take 2d6 points of psychic damage as it imagines itself terribly oppressed by younger generations.
Basic: The party meets in a tavern.
Metal: You and a group of strangers awaken on a ship. The crew is missing, the wheel is locked in place, and it is slowly coming into a dark and unfamiliar port. There is a note pinned to the mast with a knife that reads, "Wish granted."
They were upset that Easter fell on Transgender Visibility Day this year, so their golden idol declared that Christian Visibility day should fall on... Guy Fawkes Day.
*sips coffee*
This shit just writes itself, don't it?
"You're 42? Why are you-"
Gonna stop you right there. The answer to any question involving my work, my hobbies, and my passions regardless of my age (but also because of it) is "Because I fucking want to. Get on my level."
Dreams, joy, and pursuits have no shelf life.
"You're too old to be into (certain thing)."
No. What I am is too old to give a shit about what others think I should or should not be into. It's been amazing at this age. Cheers.
Okay: "I don't like Dungeons & Dragons."
Not Okay: "Those that play and enjoy D&D are [insert insulting and ultimately myopic blanket descriptive here]."
Just in case the distinction ever escapes ya. Plenty of room for all formats at the TTRPG table.
My custom D&D 5e Wizard character sheet is live! Features a "Spellbook" page for your spells that can also be cut down to use as spell cards. It's pay-what-you-want at my shop. Form-fill version soon!
#ttrpg
#dnd5e
Oh dear. The Daggerheart system encourages more discussion between the GM and the players throughout the experience. Oh no. Oh my pearls.
How terrible for a *checks notes* collaborative storytelling game. What horror.
So, reading over the first UA of the One D&D playtest, and the thing that really strikes me is that it's a playtest.
It's a playtest.
It's not locked in stone. Nothing's finalized yet.
Y'all get that, right?
Them: "Gift cards aren't that thoughtful."
Me: "You gave me the ability to get exactly what I need, when I need it, and saved yourself the headache of trying to surreptitiously figure out what to get me. BEST. GIFT. EVER."
-the herculean effort that went to their aid when other, poorer mariners were left to their fate. I'm angry because on many levels, and at many points, this shouldn't have happened.
And I'm angry that it's only a tragedy because of the wealth, like the ship they were visiting.
I have two jobs as a DM:
1. Make sure my players have a good time.
2. Make sure I have a good time.
If you check both boxes, congratulations. You're a good DM.
That's it.
#ttrpg
#dnd5e
Saying nothing and hoping people will forget is a valid tactic in standard news cycles.
But this isn't standard news.
TTRPG Geeks literally, and with no exaggeration, memorize lore and crucial events in the timeline for fun.
The suits are so very, very fucked.
Writers: "Don't use AI. It's negatively impacting us."
Voice actors: "Don't use AI. It's negatively impacting us."
Artists: "Don't use AI. It's negatively impacting us."
I'm all three. We told y'all. You didn't care. Many of you still don't. Find your way out of my life.
CW: Sexual Assault
I stopped bothering with Wyrmwood the day one of their employees openly mocked what streamers were going through during the worst of the hate raids in 2021, and then they openly used content from a creator friend of mine without credit.
I believe the victims.
I'm a former employee of
@WyrmwoodGaming
and want to put my story on record. I'm who the tweet was talking about. Remember firing me, Doug?
(I'm glancing away through the video because it wrote this all out for clarity and brevity.)
#WyrmsArentFriends
CW: Abuse, Domestic violence.
I am the son of a woman who was trapped in an abusive relationship. My father physically and emotionally abused her, sometimes to the point of hospitalization. I was used as leverage to keep her there. (1)
Calling for sympathy and condolences is human. Understandable. Death at sea is a brutal final punctuation on the story of a life.
But don't ask me for respect for those that showed none, and risked so much for a bucket list item.
Did it hurt? When you were in an accelerated/gifted & talented program through school and they told you how far ahead you are but when you grew up all you had to show for it were social hang-ups and rampant anxiety?
I'll say it right out: After today in particular, Linda Codega owes the people who attended the WOTC summit a hat-in-hand, sincere, genuflecting apology.
They lit the fire of this clout chaser bullshit. They were flat out wrong.
Period.
Please note: Any man with the temerity to refer to my wife, or any woman, as a "birthing vessel" that's earthly, sanctified, or any other kind of fucking dehumanizing adjective in earshot of me is catching these hands.
Then a chair to the face.
Then the table.
Fuck you.
Y'all really didn't learn during the WOTC Summit nonsense, huh?
If you want to attack individuals publicly, you don't get to cry foul when their friends step up for them, regardless of follower numbers. These are PEOPLE, not personalities, not brands, not companies. PEOPLE. (1)
Between this Tax Bill, and Net Neutrality, it's a scary time to be a freelancer. For some, it's either get lucky and get hired, or shut down the factory. Support your favorite creators, folks. We're gonna need it.
I had a moment today when I realized that between Twitch and Threadless, I have made enough this month to pay rent for my partner and I next month.
That's something I've not been able to say since 2009.
I cried. (1)
Lost some folks who accused me of shilling out/defending Critical Role. Way to not read a damn word I wrote. CR doesn't need my defense. Y'all just need to check yourselves when it comes to attacking success. Call out missteps, not existence.
@A_DungeonDelver
You don't get to plant your feet on this one. Evolution, progress, and the real magic of storytelling ain't the sole property of any one generation.
What we went through is never a valid excuse to forego improvement. You can join and celebrate, or be left behind.
Your call.