Apu Apustaja
@Apu_Virtanen
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Following
14
Media
6
Statuses
982
I’ll be your fren, slide me a DM || Melayu tapi Kafir ™
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Joined September 2023
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@twtsecretsmy
Ahhh penat2 aku besarkan budak tu untuk aku exploit masa aku tua nanti senang2 je kau caras aku claim korang OG parents
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@twtsecretsmy
Rookie mistake. Don't get your head in the clouds too soon. Nanti 3 bulan when the red flags come out dah 'sayang sangat'. Your judgment will be clouded early on by hormones and dopamine so be on your guard.
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@twtsecretsmy
Billions of people in the world, millions of Malaysians and you had to choose your cousin
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@AzfarZA
@Lilacookiee
@TwtJodohMY
I know right? Who’d thought a lib like you would go for a girl who clearly stated she wanted to be a good Muslim. But here we are
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@twtsecretsmy
He's not that into you. You're not that interesting to him because whatever's on his phone is more interesting to him. Many such cases!
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@twtsecretsmy
Kau tunggu je dekat mesin basuh kau, harap2 satu hari dia tersangkut dekat situ
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@twtsecretsmy
Yang condemn pergi clubbing mesti tak pernah gi clubbing. Not everyone nak ONS or get shitfaced, some just want to drink, dance, and have a good time with friends. Anyway, better to communicate anon. Air your concerns but don’t accuse him of anything unless you got proof
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@ellmartt8888
It takes unfathomable suffering for one to take their own life. They don't want to die, they want the pain to stop.
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@twtsecretsmy
Sex je bro, puki sama je rasa. Kalau kau insecure sangat kau pi kongkek perempuan lain, then sama2 pernah have sex before marriage, puas hati kau kan taknak kalah
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@twtsecretsmy
What exactly do you do with your girl best friend from noon til late mornings? Main guli? Batu seremban? Futsal?
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@twtsecretsmy
Normal. Kau bukan girlfriend pun. Buat apa commit? Kalau tak jadi dengan kau buang masa je
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@KaienCannon
I mean if he’s so well off and ‘made it in life’ so much that he went for a girl who wants the opposite of his beliefs, what’s a little ridicule? Boo hoo, people say mean things to him on the internet, big deal lmao
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@twtsecretsmy
Ni senang je. Kau tak cantik macam dekat IG kau. Bila jumpa dia rasa false advertising. Kadang2 filter cover kan misai atau makeup setebal alam atau makes you thinner etc
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@Lilacookiee
@AzfarZA
@TwtJodohMY
Surprising, I used to party a lot with cabin crew and they be WILD. First time seeing one who puts so much importance on religion
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@twtsecretsmy
Aku harap soalan ni keluar sebab kau bodoh anon, not because you're under 15 or something
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@AhmadFaezal4
Sampai sekarang aku fikir kenapa la Hamas start benda ni. Apa yang dia expect akan berlaku bila dia serang musuh yang berkali ganda lagi kuat dan historically has shown that they're not above massacring the entire Palestinian population given the chance?
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@izzahibrahim__
We get it, a white guy wants to get inside your pants, kampung betul macam orang lain tak pernah tengok kote mat saleh
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@twtsecretsmy
Kau post kat
@TwtJodohMY
demand lelaki 190cm ke atas, BMI fit then show off to your colleagues - confirm semua laki benci kau. Kalau ada yang fit guy 190cm tall it’s your lucky day
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@twtsecretsmy
Sound je balik. A lot of issues with annoying coworkers can be solved if you would just put some resistance. I notice people who let others steamroll them tend to get picked on more than those who resist. Easy target la
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@rolypoly123_
@grandiloquus
@mohamedlfc97
Jangan la sibuk mengintai, buat la hal sendiri. Melayu Muslim and voyeurism tidak boleh berpisah
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@twtsecretsmy
Sometimes I wonder why people do self-censorship for shit posted as an image on Twitter
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@twtsecretsmy
Susah sebab ramai Malaysians dah la kote tak besar, lepas tu gemuk/obese/smoker/vaper/tak lift/tak cardio/porn addict lagi contribute kepada weaker/dead erection a.k.a bad time in the bedroom
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@twtsecretsmy
Tak salah pun, tapi kau dekat Malaysia, homophobia rampant, biasa la tu. Get used to it because there's a lot of it and it's not changing anytime soon. Find your community where you feel you belong. You'll be much happier.
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@twtsecretsmy
I saw a recording of me losing my temper in public. I am embarrassed by my actions. I hurt and humiliated my then partner and it haunts me to this day. Never again.
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@twtsecretsmy
You’re a bigger man than me, I’m petty enough to rub it in her face (in more ways than one lmao)
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@twtsecretsmy
Oh man, I wish you the best, but let's face it, most single people after 30 are single for a reason.
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@twtsecretsmy
Rebel. Berjiwa hamba taat setia membuta tuli ni is actually detrimental. Think for yourself and act accordingly
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@1sthisAlice
Yang Muslim pun ramai nak quit, kau kenapa gatal nak masuk? Islam is flawed just like all religion, but Islam punya indoctrination power, so ramai delusional followers believe it’s perfect
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@twtsecretsmy
Dulu mak aku leter gini jugak, aku reply ‘mak pandai buat anak mak pandai la jaga anak’ every time and sampai sekarang dia tak ungkit lagi dah
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@twtsecretsmy
Skill issue. I've met people like you - too scared, too insecure, low self esteem, yada yada. Quit moping around, beautify yourself, develop a personality. If you want something, grind for it. Tebalkan muka, kau ada tangan, ada kaki, guna la. Control your own destiny.
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@twtsecretsmy
Sounds like a you problem, and when I hear this kind of issue, it’s always looks related. Kalau kau hot, kau perangai setan pun men wouldn’t walk away. My advice is to be the best version of you, and do it for yourself. When you look attractive and happy, good things will come
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@twtsecretsmy
Gross how do you talk to people yang tak gosok gigi without throwing up in your mouth? Good luck kissing him anon. Imagine living with that abomination 🤮
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@donebekap
@havzichiori
It's mental gymnastics at this point.
"It's okay to consume rice wine with >5% alcoholic content whoops I mean tapai :^)"
"Nooo you can't drink beverages with 0.0% alcohol, because the alcohol was distilled... you just can't ok?"
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@twtsecretsmy
Too bad, so sad, improve yourself or end up alone. Time is ticking anon - hit the gym, learn makeup, be fashionable, consult a cosmetic surgeon, socialise, do whatever it takes - don't listen to 'jodoh tak kemana' bullshit, control your own destiny
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@twtsecretsmy
It can work anon, aku start makan babi dulu pun sebab couple dengan amoi. Awal2 kekok jugak duk sorang2 Melayu dekat restaurant Cina tapi lama2 tak peduli dah and babi pun sedap. Nak seribu daya
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I won’t stop criticising the religion until it’s gone from my IC
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@caramelochurroz
@havzichiori
@iffahs_
Air tapai minuman beralkohol memabukkan yang halal. At this point might as well say tuak and sake halal sebab benda sama je.
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@twtsecretsmy
She's not that into you. If she is, she will bend over backward for you. The first opportunity she gets for a better man she will ditch your simping ass
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Only on Twitter people can see the purity of someone’s love over a Tweet
You know why there are no red flags here?
1. She never mentioned anything about a man's physical as a part of the requirements. She goes after attitudes and characteristics more instead.
2. She asked for something and at the same time, she offered something valuable in return,
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@twtsecretsmy
This is dumb. Nothing comes easy, if you want something, you work hard and do things properly for it, laying down expecting miracles is foolish.
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@twtsecretsmy
Watching porn is not natural and not normal. Porn has only been around for a few hundred years. Your boyfriend is addicted, ask him to get help.
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@twtsecretsmy
Good shit! Buang je bapak macam tu, aku tak faham kenapa kau mati2 layan dia lagi. Kalau aku the moment aku dah independent aku block tak mengaku bapak dah. Tak pun tunggu dia sakit lepas tu kau maki dan dera dia hari2
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@EOGawd
Anyone who graduated local high school (SPM) can speak the language, dunno where this ‘some people can’t speak BM’ idea comes from. Even my T20 Cina circle can speak BM albeit baku and their pasar is absolutely cringe. Most of the time is tak mau, bukan tak boleh
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@twtsecretsmy
All the best bro, the online dating scene’s quite shit unless you’re exceptionally attractive. It’s going to get even worse when you’re in your 30s. My suggestion is to grind it online and pray you’re lucky enough to meet someone nice IRL as well
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@twtsecretsmy
You shouldn’t sacrifice your life and dreams for your parents. It should be the other way round.
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@twtsecretsmy
Kau offer threesome. Dia nak 2 laki ke, 2 pompuan? Kalau nak 2 laki tanya nak laki straight ka, laki gay?
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@llqquuee
@twtsecretsmy
Sebab tu ignorance is bliss. Things change bila you get to know the actual person and the skeleton they hid in their closet
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@twtsecretsmy
Kau bisexual kot. Only one way to find out. Kau offer la husband kau threesome with another woman, mesti dia nak, then kau try the woman sekali
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@twtsecretsmy
lmao good shit anon, keep up the good fight, fuck your parents, they can't force you to marry
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@twtsecretsmy
Orang Melayu memang tak hebat coitus interruptus ek? Kalau tak hebat pakai la condom 🤦♂️
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@twtsecretsmy
Aku tak faham kenapa ramai lelaki macam ni. Aku anak orang kaya membesar ada house helper pun reti buat house chores. Malu la kalau semua wife buat, malu jadi useless tak ada contribution.
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@twtsecretsmy
Kalau tak tahan sangat kau pergi brothel je anon, mandi dekat rumah, book perempuan Thai/Vietnam/Laos ikut taste kau - ni penting sebab susah nak communicate dengan diorang so unlikely ada long term affair, bayar RM250, 5 minit pam dan pancut, lepas tu balik rumah cuddle wife
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@twtsecretsmy
Scared of ‘what ifs’ is just fear of the unknown. The cure to that fear is to find out. Make the jump, it’s usually scarier in your head than in reality.
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@twtsecretsmy
Apa yang bapak kau bagi dekat kau sampai kau takleh blah? Kalau dah rasa tortured gini chow je. Bapak kau projecting tu, new wife dia slutty kot dia taknak kau slutty macam new wife dia.
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@picibajik
@twtsecretsmy
Ha ha all men are the same right? When some pour their hearts out you make fun of them, no wonder a lot of men are depressed. Even anonymously pun kena make fun. 😒
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@twtsecretsmy
Just do what you want, you can’t please everybody but you can easily please yourself
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@Alif56737764
@meinmokhtar
It’s impossible to determine the virginity of a woman but it’s so easy to know if a man is a virgin
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@twtsecretsmy
Maybe kalau kau tak cringe dah tua bangka still guna 'aq' husband kau sayang lebih
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@haniyunus
@_unwantedsoul_
Time donation kemain berkira, tapi berharap dia commit to adopt the cat 🙄 apa punya busuk hati la kalau ada dapat lebih boleh cover transportation and possibly makes it easier for her to adopt the cat
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@twtsecretsmy
The important lesson anon learned is that you have to stand up for yourself because no one is going to save you
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@twtsecretsmy
Pretty normal, ramai hanky panky lepas tu cover sebab it’s still taboo here. Tapi kalau hantar nudes jangan jadi bodo include muka
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@twtsecretsmy
Sex je anon. Kalau nak, gi kongkek, taknak say no. Tak payah mental gymnastic la. It’s a normal biological urge.
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@twtsecretsmy
Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. He was _that_ irresponsible yet you stayed with him for 5 years.
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@kakkumei
How is this racist? If anything it's acknowledging that the Kenyans are GOATs in walking/marathons
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@twtsecretsmy
Ni kalau kau tak nampak red flag aku rasa kau dah boleh di declare legally blind kot. Ini mentaliti boomer ni, lari sepantas yang kau mampu
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@twtsecretsmy
Kau gemuk ke lepas give birth anon? Kadang2 benda macam ni jadi sebab bini gemuk tak sexy so tak horny dah. Shallow I know but it's quite common
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@twtsecretsmy
Cari lelaki yang non virgin anon, selalu nya yang non virgin and getting laid regularly ni la yang tak peduli about virginity. Kau date insecure virgins memang silap kau la
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@twtsecretsmy
The dead can’t feel anything. Kau nak sedapkan hati sendiri dan adik beradik kau, kau lawat la, taknak tak payah
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@twtsecretsmy
NTA, height is a legit concern - it's permanent, he can't do anything to change it now and he'll only get shorter with age.
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@twtsecretsmy
Apasal tak boleh pulak. Kau ingat dia sign papers and lafaz akad nikah tu tiba2 biologi dia berubah ke?
Tak semua lelaki interested in bonking pregnant ladies. Some find it gross, some takut anything would happen to the child you’re carrying. Talk to him la
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@twtsecretsmy
Hahahaha it's always the nampak alim gang. Setan2 aku pun tak hipokrit nak konon alim
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@twtsecretsmy
1. Go on caloric deficit.
2. Hit the gym, hit the weight. I cannot stress this enough. You might hit your weight target with caloric deficit alone but if you don't lift you'll be skinny fat and flabby. Minimum 4 days a week!
3. Cardio 10k steps a day, every day.
4. Sleep 8 hours
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@AymanRashdanW
Let’s be honest: we all saw this coming. The real question is: why did Hamas do it? What is their endgame? I thought they’re fighting for the Palestinians? Why do something that is so detrimental to their existence?
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@twtsecretsmy
What do you have to lose? Your dad hates you and doesn’t seem to have your best interests at heart. Leave and don’t look back.
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@twtsecretsmy
You should process your grief. There are stages to that. Solve one thing at a time, once you're done grieving you can fuck like rabbits.
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