Former casino dealer and pit supervisor. Author of “Dealt - Stories from My Life on the Felt” and “Underdogs Cover Too: Become a Smarter Sports Bettor.”
#APB
Hey everyone, my latest e-book “Underdogs Cover Too” is officially for sale on Amazon! With sports betting exploding across the US, I give you my playbook on what’s worked for me and how to become a smarter sports bettor. Includes my strategy for betting, profitable angles that I
Lady buys in for 5k on roulette, no card, says she got a 5k bonus at work and let’s it ride every year. She says she won it last year. Bets 5k on red, black 8 hits. She says “well see you next year!” and leaves.
#APB
Dude splits 44 against a dealer 5. Guy next to him starts complaining. We tell him that’s actually the correct move per basic strategy. He’s stunned and says he’s never seen anyone split fours. 5 mins later and he splits tens against a 7 lol.
#APB
I have an announcement I’m excited to share! I’ve teased this for a couple weeks, but I’ve written a book called “Dealt - Stories from my Life on the Felt.” It’s a collection of dealing stories when I was a dealer. Plans are for it to be available by the end of the week
#APB
Booted a guy last night for calling my dealer a cunt. Heard it myself. Then he tried to argue with me that he didn’t say it. I heard you douchebag. He gone!
#APB
I’m not sure how to write this post, but here goes. I left my casino job recently for another career in a completely different field. It’s been a long time coming and the annoyedness was at an all-time high haha. I was burnt out which happens easily in the casino world.
It’s live! As promised last week, here’s the link to purchase my book “Dealt - Stories from My Life on the Felt” on Amazon from my dealing days. This project was 10 years in the making and I couldn’t wait to share. Thanks again for the support!
#APB
5 mins into my shift, guy wants a comp and hands me his card. His total play showing for the day: 8 mins mins of play, $10 average. So it’s gonna be one of those nights I guess…
#APB
Roulette with the
#WeekendCrowd
, gambler playing 22 every spin and whining about it not coming. Finally hits 22 and still bitches because he had more on it last spin. It’s miserable folks like him that burn us casino workers out.
#APB
Player hit on roulette and did a victory lap around the pit yelling “who picked that number!?!” I’m thinking he hit for a grand or something. I mosey over to the table and see he had four bucks on it lol. A win is a win I guess.
#APB
Blackjack story. A tale as old as time. Guy whines about another player splitting 4’s against a 5 (correct move). Says he’s never seen anyone do that. And 10 mins later, he splits two face cards vs a 3. Loses both. Hilarious.
#APB
Folks, I’m 40 followers away from 10k which is absurd to me. When I get to 10,000 followers, I’ll give away three signed copies of my book Dealt. Retweet this and follow me to have a chance to win. Let’s get there today!
#APB
Guy was up 5 grand from a $300 buy-in on roulette and gave it all back plus an extra grand. I see nothing has changed here with idiots on roulette 🤦♂️
#APB
Guy on blackjack doesn’t want to tap the table when he wants a card. Thinks he should just get a card if he yells “hit me!” Dealer and I have to keep telling him to make the proper hand signals. It’s not even the weekend…what’s wrong with people?
#APB
FAKE SURVEILLANCE CALL ALERT
Middle of a busy ass Friday night roulette pit, guy wants me to call the eye in the sky to see if he had 4 chips not 3 when he bet and hit 11. Come on. I went to the phone, did a fake call for a min and told him they said he only had 3 on it lol
#APB
The
#WeekendCrowd
23 y/o pretend high roller bought in for $500 on BJ and wants all 500 in nickels like it’s the damn poker room. I told him no chance. Take 200 and 300 in green or go home.
#APB
Guy playing the donts on craps keeps yelling “Mickey Mantle!” as soon as the dice are in the air. In case you don’t know, Mantle wore
#7
. Like don’t be that guy at the table. No cheering from the donts!
#APB
Roulette. Guy is spreading out 100 singles each spin on basically every number. One spin he had something on literally every number. He’s getting paid out something every spin. He thinks he’s doing okay, but he’s actually dying a slow death.
#APB
Just watched a guy bet $500, split 3 times with 3 doubles, played it right versus a 6. Dealer flips the 5 underneath and you know a face came out of that shoe. That’s a swing.
The volume of him yelling “FUCK” rang through the casino floor for a good 5 minutes.
#APB
$15 blackjack table, kid barely a day over 21 rushes the table, throws a bunch of random bills down like a dipshit thinking he’s some high roller and the money goes all across the table over the cards mid-hand and into the rack. This is why I hate the
#WeekendCrowd
#APB
Blackjack fun. Guy spilled a drink all over the table, into the chip rack and even the shoe ruining half of the cards and then gets pissed at me when we shut the table down to clean it and change cards. Like WTF?
#APB
We have a guy that comes in 4-5 nights a week, plays mini-bac and fills out his scorecards all night. He eventually loses all the money he came with and then remains for hours tracking hands and giving advice…and the players listen to him! Never listen to the broke players
#APB
Picture it folks. Me set up on one end of the Longbar at
@theDlasvegas
signing copies of my book “Dealt” to a line full of gamblers ready to get their book signed and then do some gambling with me afterwards! How many retweets do we need to make this happen,
@DerekJStevens
?
#APB
One of my smart gambler friends talking about systems:
“If you called Vegas and told them you have 50 thousand dollars to play roulette with the martingale system, they’d send you a private jet.”
#APB
I had a couple critical reviews where they said I was a “jaded author” and “had a negative attitude.” I’m the Annoyed Pit Boss for crying out loud! Of course I’m jaded haha. I thought that was understood and just found it funny.
#APB
Guy on craps playing $10 on the pass line. Another player comes up and places $200 on the don’t pass. Shooter starts barking at him for betting against him as if the don’t pass bet insulted him. Like STFU and throw the fucking dice! (Btw, he 7’d out).
#APB
This dope bitches at player for staying on a 16 vs 10. Very next hand, the whiner hits 13 vs 5. They argue and then both players start doing dumb moves to piss the other one off and they remained at the same table doing this for a good 10 mins 🤦♂️
#APB
Don’t ask me or the dealer to change their spin up on roulette cause we’re just going to ignore you. Had a guy wave me down in the pit to tell me the dealer’s roulette spin was too fast. Unless the ball is bouncing out of the cylinder then it’s not too fast. Get lost lol.
#APB
Player has 15 vs dealer face card.
Player: “Is this a hit or stay?”
Me: “It’s a hit.”
He thinks about it for another 10 seconds and stays. Dealer has 20 lol.
🤷♂️
#AapB
This always cracks me up, but I can’t tweet out one abnormal blackjack play without someone mentioning that they were probably card counting. Folks, not every gambler is counting cards lol. Most are just bad gamblers.
#APB
Guy split 33 vs a 5. He ended up with two 11’s but only doubled one of the 11’s. Got 21 on both and won. I asked him why he didn’t double both and he said “stupid is as stupid does.” You said it buddy.
#APB
Hey everyone, thanks for all the messages over the past couple days regarding my book: DEALT. The outpouring support has been overwhelming and I can’t wait for you all to read it! There’s been a small delay with Amazon so it’s not out yet but hoping by end of next week.
#APB
I’m so bored that I’m longing to hear some degenerate tell me about their roulette strategy. Please someone tell me all about your full proof roulette strategy!!
#APB
Holiday weekend. Can’t wait to watch people gamble, drink and curse at the dealer and other players on the day Jesus comes back from the dead.
#HappyEaster
everyone!
#APB
More roulette fun. Guy didn’t play and just tracked the spins for 45 minutes then suddenly fires 200 bucks all over the layout and misses completely. Gets up and leaves, lol.
#APB
A player I’ve never seen before asked me if I ever see people win at the casino?
I told him that I see people win all the time, but the problem is I rarely see them leave with it which is an absolute must when gambling. So how do you do that?
A thread 🧵
Let it Ride! Player hits a miraculous straight flush for more than a $3,000 win on the hand. He couldn’t wait to announce “this hand gets him back to even!”
#APB
Things I overheard in the pit today:
“Hit 27 this spin or I’m going to flip this entire table over!”
It didn’t hit. Instead of trying to flip the table, he bought in for another $300 lol.
#APB
Took a much needed vacation. First hour back on the floor and some drunk knocks his beer all over a blackjack table and then got mad at me when I closed the table because the cards, chips and felt were soaking wet. Welcome back!
#APB
Oh man, the only thing worse than the
#WeekendCrowd
is the
#NYE2020
crowd. Be safe everyone and may your 15’s and 16’s turn into 21 all night long! Tip early and often. Happy New Year’s!
#APB
I decided to do a fun giveaway for a free signed copy of my book. All you have to do is follow me and retweet this tweet and I’ll pick a lucky winner or two by Friday!
#APB
Watching roulette, guy is playing a couple numbers heavy: straight, corners, splits. Finally hits for more than 2,500 bucks. Pisses it back before my next break lol. Another day at the office.
#APB
Thank you to my followers who came out this weekend for book signing/gambling event. I also cannot thank
@PlazaLasVegas
and
@JonathanJossel
enough for hosting me. It was a first class experience the whole way. Thanks to all for the support fulfilling this lifelong dream!
#APB
We did it, fam! 10,000 and counting. Thanks everyone! I will announce the winners here shortly. I started this back in 2012 to vent into the void, I never thought it would become what it has. Appreciate you all!
Folks, I’m 40 followers away from 10k which is absurd to me. When I get to 10,000 followers, I’ll give away three signed copies of my book Dealt. Retweet this and follow me to have a chance to win. Let’s get there today!
#APB
Guy waves me down and says he signed himself out of the casino for a year, today was his first day back, he’s down 5 grand and ready to sign himself back out again. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
#APB
ANNOUNCEMENT: The
@PlazaLasVegas
is hosting me for a 2-day event…August 26 for a book signing and then Aug. 27 to play blackjack with me at 7pm. It’s all first come, first serve and you must enter RSVP at the link below. I’ll post more details next…
Absolutely be back next season haha. It’s onward and upward from here. No regrets. Who knows what’s in store next, maybe I’ll even get into the podcast game someday haha. Thanks again for all the interactions the past 10 years on here
#APB
Oh no, I had to listen to a table play the “who’s down more money” game as they try and brag about it. It’s possibly the dumbest conversation in recorded history.
#APB
I can’t thank everyone enough for buying and reaching out with kind words over the past 24 hours. This has been amazing. We are the number one best seller in the blackjack category on Amazon! Thanks again!
#APB
Me standing next to the roulette table and hearing the following:
“Red just hit five straight times, the odds say a black number is coming out this time...”
#APB
Player built up a profit of about 6 grand in a couple hours at craps and then pissed it all away in 20 minutes in the field. Brilliant!
#WeekendCrowd
#APB
Wow, I appreciate all the follows, comments and retweets tonight. I may have to keep tossing asshats out of the casino if I’m getting this kind of support!
#APB
Guy plays 26 on roulette every single spin and whines for it every single spin. He finally hits it with a quarter on it. Complains to the dealer that he had more on it last spin 🤦♂️
#APB
Any time I tweet something like that or someone playing BJ wrong, there’s always an idiot who responds with “what was the count!?!” or “his buddy on another table was killing it!” Not everyone gambling is trying to pull off some Ocean’s 11-type heist. Calm down, folks
#APB
Well my casino is currently closed. Now what the hell do I tweet about? We could bet on how many dumps my dog takes tomorrow? O/U is 1.5. Who wants action!?
#APB
#HappyThanksgiving
to all my gamblers out there. If you’re stopping by the casino today, remember to tip your dealers who have to work the holiday and as for your pit bosses, um...give us an extra minute before yelling about getting your buy-in on your card.
Just heard one of the dumbest one-liners that bounces around the blackjack pit all the time. “The dealer wins the first hand 90% of the time!” Where does this come from? Why is the first hand so much worse than the second or 34th hand? Lol
#APB