Andy Coates
@AndyWoodturner
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Pro Woodturner. Woodturning author & Technical Editor : words my own. cobwebcrafts Shop at: Same name on Bsky & Threads
Beccles, Suffolk. EU Citizen
Joined October 2011
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He's gone. Peacefully.
I'll miss him. x
Thank you all for you kind thoughts and wishes. Sorry I wasn't able to reply to you all. He lasted longer than my phone battery.
No need to reply to this. I know. x
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This hen is 12 yrs old. She hasn’t laid an egg for about three years. She’s started laying eggs again. What a creature she is. Also…grumpy as fuck. I love her to bits
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Andrea Leadsom: “I intend to support the meaningful vote. I have been assured I will have a central role in deciding the future relationship”.
Google translation: "She can have my vote for a job. I know nothing, haven't had an original thought in decades, I'm feathering my nest"
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Bad night due to an ear infection. Under 2 hrs sleep. Woken, at 7.10 by the dogs barking at something that made a noise outside. Decided I'd have "just a few more minutes" with my eyes closed.
Woke with a start. Looked at my watch. 11.58a.m.!! Fucking hell. Ran to the bathroom...
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Hoarding, indeed. It's not hoarding, it's storing resources.
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Just had a call from an elderly bloke I don't know. Somebody had told him to call me. He has a 36 yr old lathe, and the motor's bolloxed. His deceased wife bought him the lathe, and he's desperate to get it back working. A re-wind place quoted £485 + VAT, and he can't afford...
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Possibly the prettiest mugs I've ever made...
Spalted Ash with Oak handles
500ml capacity
Matching pair. And they're glorious.
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And I knew that one day, they'd save a lathe for somebody, and having just put some power to one of them...it will do. Lovely clean shaft, runs as sweet as a nut. He'll be back to working on his wife's gift very soon. And that's a good start to a week in my book...
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EDF: You've got to have a smart meter. It's a Government initiative
Me: No I don't. Stop contacting me about it.
EDF: But...
Me: No buts. Now fuck off.
EDF: !
Me: Go. The. Fuck. Away.
News:
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The workshop, or life, will never be the same...
RIP my beautiful little friend, Heather/
#StupidDog
. 18 yrs went by in a flash...
Bramble's going to miss her...
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The urn got approval...
Olive Ash (his favourite wood), threaded lid, pewter inlay, dedication on base. Displayed against the board from his craft fair lathe station.
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Dropped off half a dozen eggs to a neighbour who always leaves waste veg for the hens on my doostep. Opened the door and he'd returned the egg box, and a big bag of cabbage and cauli greens...it's a great system.
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The funny thing about
@POTUS
's "interesting" bleach injection idea is that if *he* tried it, and it killed him - which it would - Domestos could claim it kills 100% of all known germs.
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@mistermatt79
Goregeous colour. Gorgeous hair. She'll have the last laugh...look at the company she keeps!
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I was a little worried Bramble might be cold at the workshop tomorrow...and couldn't find a tiny, tiny dog coat...so I made one from a sweatshirt sleeve. Fits perfectly! She's even got a roll neck!
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rose, twice, and my sandwich was sloppily made. Monday. Dear God.
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dreamt the whole thing. FFS. Ah, well. At least I'm not late. Sit down to drink coffee. Open email. "Can you sort this out by 10 am? It's really urgent!" FFS.
So, anyway...I'm now almost exactly an hour late getting to work, my ear's sore (don't need advice), my blood pressure...
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BBC News - RSPB outcry leads to anti-bird nets removal plan for Norfolk cliffs
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Woohoo! Energy bills to drop by £122 in July!! Wow!
I think I'll invest the extra 33p a day I'll have. ISAs? Commodities markets? Bullion? Save up for two days and buy two small tins of peas from
@Morrisons
?
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abluted, ran downstairs. Made sandwiches for (an immediate lunch), and made my coffee in a travel mug to take. Went to pack the laptop and things I needed to take. Went to feed the hens before I left. As I closed the patio door, the action woke my watch face...7.40...
I must have
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The photographers are sensibly standing well back. It looks like she might have corvid
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@DanPariah
I'm not sure who is the most adorable, the little girl or the Dad. Lovely. Just lovely.
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Coffee ?*
New coffee mug style. 370ml
Ebonised Olive Ash/Maple handle
*see who gets it first…
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Pulling out a log from the pile and found this (firewood) log...I *think* it's Turkey tail...but bracket fungus either way...but...LOOK AT IT! It's magnificent. Gonna take some off the dry out...
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it. "Do you know anywhere I can get it done cheaper?"
I know something even better...If you come to my workshop I can give you a working SH motor for it.
"What!"
I have a couple that will fit. You're welcome to one of them.
I've had these two motors for well over ten years...
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A young lad's Dad won't allow a Christmas tree or Dec's because there's "no point this year"...so I've quickly made him a tree and Rudolph. I'm fresh out of tinsel though...
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Thank you all for the good wishes. I have no idea if he can hear/understand, but I’ve let him know that lots of ppl who he doesn’t know have passed on best thoughts … xx
Had the call. At hospital. Today may be a terrible day.
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This morning D returned home from work with a very recently born orphan kitten that somebody had found near a park. It was ice cold and stiff. Now re-hydrated and fed through today and
#stupiddog
has taken over care. Fingers crossed.
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I've found something to do during coffee breaks...weirdly relaxing...and the nuts are good...
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Call my Mum to wish her HNY. It rings so long I'm just about to hang up...but she answers...
"Every time I get my head under the kitchen sink the phone rings."
Why are you putting your head under the kitchen sink?!
"To take the U-bend off so I can clean the pipes."
Is it blocked?
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Went out to sit in the car for 10 minutes, in the early hours last night…and the rain was more quieting than anything I can imagine
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Had the call. At hospital. Today may be a terrible day.
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It's done.
31cm diameter and 15cm high.
English Ash. Carved and scorched.
Available now. DM if interested...
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I appear to have bought a door. I don't quite know why. I don't need a door. I have doors already. I don't, as a rule, keep *spare* doors on hand. But...
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A woman was struggling in Lidl. We made eye contact. I asked if she needed help. She couldn't read the packaging for tears and had become even more frustrated. I read it to her and she said thanks. Her otherwise healthy husband died from Covid and he'd done all the shopping...ffs
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I've spent far too long this morning trying to figure out how I could reconfigure the workshop, to fit this in as my desk/off-lathe work space...
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Bereavement office: "we called you twice yesterday, and left two messages you didn't reply to."
No, you didn't.
"We did."
No. No you didn't.
"Let me just che...ah. Somebody dialled the wrong number. Can I check your number?"
You have it. You're talking to me now.
FFS
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Spade?
Check.
LED light packs?
Check.
Checker plate roof rack?
Check.
Baggage nets?
Check.
Retractable awning?
Check.
"ONE LIFE, LIVE IT" stickers?
Check.
Wading kit?
Er...we only fitted the fake snorkel. It was expensive...
Fuck...
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170 yr old pitch pine from Beccles Station...with cast and turned pewter rim...6" by 2 1/2"
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Got a call about 5.45.
"Do you want any steaks? Some arsehole didn't show up to collect."
I'll pop round.
8 1" rib-eye steaks. 450g each. Lovely looking steak.
"Give me twenty and we're right."
!!! Wow. Are you sure?
"Yeah. Better than wasting it."
and then...
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Just had a call from a fittings company in Lowie.
"Hi, Andy. Those M33 fittings you were after are back in stock now."
Er...great, but what fittings I was after?
"The M33 by 3.5mm nuts."
Sorry, I have no recollection of asking for them. When was this?
"Don't know exactly."
...
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I’ve been trying to catch Nettle doing this for a month. Finally got it. She runs down the workshop and leaps up to my shoulder. She’s like a mountain goat!
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Bought this in an antique shop today.
Woman: What on earth do you want that for? Do you do a bit of soldering?
I do, but that’s not why.
Woman: Why then?
It’s at least 53 years old. The box is intact, and it’s a nice box. It’s a nice curio.
Woman: You’re a strange man, Andy
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Have you ever read a tweet that actually insensed you, but you ignore it. Then you can't stop thinking about it and go back, draft a retort, and then delete before sending because you just can't be arsed to get in a ruck?
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Asked by a reporter for a statement, Sir Rod Stewart said, "I don't want to talk about it..."
The Singer Sir Rod Stewart has been arrested and charged with battery over an incident that allegedly happened on NYE at a Florida hotel.
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James Cleverly just described the post Brexit period as, "the really exciting part"...
That bloke makes rotting cow shit seem sentient...
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Pair of coffee mugs in spalted Ash, with 5k year old Bog Oak carved handles
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OMFG. OMFG.OMFG.OMFG.
A TV news crew are coming to the workshop.
Today.
OMFG
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Just bought a beautiful object. Green bakelite pencil sharpener with brass ring. It's lovely. And I'll use it every day. 1930/40s ?
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A Russian bloke just got very pissed off because I wouldn’t sell him one of the dogs. Started to get a little in my face, so I had to quietly tell him what was about to happen if he didn’t fuck off immediately. WTF is wrong with people? He fucked off. Mumbling something.
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I love making things look very old and used...and IMO it looks better than the log it came from an hour ago...the other half of which it's sitting on...
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The young woman at Dunwich cafe told me today that there's a "national shortage" of flakes for 99s. The horror of it nearly had me in tears. What have we become?
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I made this bowl about 20 years ago from a lump of Ash that had sat in a field in the village for 50 yes. It was mostly rot, but deep inside there was some decent wood. It's been in constant use...and ever time I use it makes me smile. Looks better now than the day I made it
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Just taken just over 100 clean, mostly spine unbroken, books to the charity shop.
“Oh, we’re not really taking books at the moment. Can you bring them back in February?”
That would be a, no. So donated them to a SH bookshop. And she offered £40! Declined. Let them make a living.
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I've just cut the wood for the urn. And now I need to take a minute. Damn.
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Went to Oldie's to look at old pictures for the funeral stationary...D is cleaning the old ones up. Found an old pic of when I opened the old workshop. He built and fitted that new door in two days. A day. Some other woodworkers couldn't get that right after months...
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Very sad news. Clover died some time over the last hour. She was fine when I watered and fed her, then went to sleep as usual. Went to check on her and she was on the way. Died in my hand.
Before anybody asks, no, it wasn't the new one...it's been sat on me or the bench all day
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I wish I could found out where the woman who does this lives…I’d take her a bunch of flowers 💐 or something…it brightens everybody’s day
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Coffee mug in spalted Ash and Mahogany…a batch of these are in process…
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So this is what I'm NOT earning a living for? Staying home for? Only going out when absolutely necessary? So these fucking bellends, paramedics and police included, can stand 10 deep and cheek-to-jowl meaninglessly clapping on a fucking bridge in the most populous city in the UK?
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I've just finished an article which I'm convinced some people will find distasteful (which is fine). I sought permission to write up the making of Terry's urn as a last tribute to him. He LOVED the magazine, and badgered the then editor, Mark Baker, who himself...
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As a marker of just how fucked this country is people are paying £35, of their own money presumably, to see Rod Liddle at the London Palladium. Rod Liddle. On purpose. Not as a condition of bail or anything.
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I'm beyond sad to tell you all that Mark Baker, former Editor of Woodturning Magazine passed away last night. He was my Editor for years and a friend for longer, and he was a truly lovely man who has gone before he should have. I'll miss him enormously. Goodbye my friend. x
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This a very special nest of bowls. The log of Olive Ash I made them from had sat in a
#suffolk
field for nearly 30 yrs. It was largely rotten but I salvaged one large lump. There was still some rot, and the spalting was extreme...
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I rejected this lump of wood yesterday because it was too far gone. It was shouting at me and I had some time between other things...so...pot... unidentifiable species...spalted...
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Sweet Chestnut pretty wood in its natural state...but it can be made to be prettier still...
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That was without question my most embarrassing, and uncomfortable experience in a chip shop...
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D just took this picture from her living room window...
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Had a dreadful night...so ill...had to select the coffin over the phone...so I don't pass this around.
Went for a hot bath to try and feel a little livelier. Nettle jumped into the bath. Into. My. Bath. Mopping up gallons of water really helped. Not.
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She’s fallen asleep!
You sit down for five minutes for a breather, and…your parrot lands
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Apparently I can’t use this picture, because I look like I’ve come to arrange a hit. Cheeky fucker. I smiled and everything!
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BREAKING: Government announces that, "there is no shortage of woodturned objects"...
<sits and waits>
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